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PODCAST

You Keep Me Sane

Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy

For 10 years, Aileen and Julie have been each other"s sounding board from opposite sides of the globe – Aileen in London and Julie in Melbourne.They have navigated everything – motherhood, relationships, menopause, health, grief, and everything in between – through daily voice messages. These exchanges often became lifelines, and now they share that space with their listeners.In You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie hold honest conversations on life"s challenges, growth, and connection. They lend an

society & culture mental health

All Episodes

29:19

Harder to Be Happy? It Might Be Your Wiring, Not Your...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/06/11

Episode Overview: In this episode, Aileen and Julie reflect on why some people seem naturally happier, while others (like themselves!) are built with layers, reflection, and emotional intensity. Through personal stories, laughter, and a dose of science, they explore how understanding emotional wiring can shift the way we experience happiness and relate to ourselves. They also revisit a metaphor that’s stuck with them for years: are you an onion or a potato? It began as a throwaway comment by ...

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10:22

Saying NO - Why Is It So Hard? | Sanity Check

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/06/05

Episode Overview This listener-inspired Sanity Check explores the discomfort so many of us feel when it comes to saying no or speaking honestly. Aileen and Julie unpack the messy middle between people-pleasing and genuine empathy, and explore the deeper fears—like judgment, rejection, or letting someone down—that keep us stuck in yes-mode even when we're at capacity. Whether you're someone who always says yes out of habit, fear, or heart, this episode offers research-backed insights and gentl...

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22:40

The Invisibility Cloak: Midlife, Visibility, and...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/06/04

Episode Overview In this deeply reflective episode, Aileen and Julie explore the quiet but powerful transition many women experience in midlife—the shift from being seen and celebrated for youth and appearance to becoming quietly overlooked by a culture that worships the new. But is this invisibility a loss… or a kind of liberation? Through honest conversation and personal stories, they unpack what it means to feel unseen in a world that once watched your every move, and how this stage of lif...

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9:27

Cortisol vs Oxytocin: The Daily Hormone Battle |...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/05/29

Episode Overview: In this mini Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the chemistry of your emotions—specifically the push-pull dance between cortisol and oxytocin. Whether you’ve felt constantly on edge, snappy, or totally burnt out, this episode breaks down what’s really happening in your body and why even small, mindful shifts can help you reset. Key Talking Points: Why cortisol rises in everyday situations—especially the chaotic after-school hours.The role cortisol plays in anxiety, poo...

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20:06

Let Them: Our Honest Take on the Viral Mantra | YKMS

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/05/28

Episode Overview: In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive into the power behind Mel Robbins’ now-viral “Let Them Theory.” From navigating tricky relationships to handling judgement and unmet expectations, they explore why this simple mindset shift can be so freeing—and so hard to put into practice. Drawing on their own stories of burnout, people-pleasing, and family conflict, they unpack how learning to “let them” has helped them reclaim their energy, protect their peace, a...

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8:00

Introvert or Extrovert? Why It Matters More Than You...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/05/22

Episode Overview In this Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie unpack what it really means to be an introvert or an extrovert—and why understanding the difference is essential for your mental health. It’s not about being shy or social—it’s about how you refill your tank. Whether you’ve been feeling flat, snappy, or overstimulated, this episode is a reminder to tune into what your nervous system actually needs. Key Discussion Points The myth that being outgoing = extrovertedWhy stimulation isn’t the ...

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29:14

Betrayal Isn’t Always Loud — But It Always Hurts | YKMS

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/05/21

Episode Overview: Betrayal is one of those words that immediately stirs something in us. In this episode, Julie and Aileen unpack the many forms betrayal can take — not just romantic, but the kind that happens quietly in families, friendships, and formative moments. From overheard conversations to cruel friendship dynamics, they reflect on how early betrayals shaped their sense of self-worth and trust in others. They also respond to a heartfelt listener letter that touches on public ridicule ...

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9:54

Breaking Point: How Our Lowest Moments Spark the...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/05/15

Episode Overview In this episode, Julie and Aileen reflect on those moments in life where everything feels like too much — when you're overwhelmed, disconnected, or just not yourself. Inspired by a Mel Robbins quote, they explore the idea that feeling lost is often the beginning of finding your way back — or forward — to a stronger, wiser version of yourself. Whether it’s the chaos of parenting, a life change, or the slow build-up of a thousand small stresses, this conversation is a reminder ...

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28:50

Pleasure vs Happiness: Why We’re Chasing the Wrong...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/05/14

Episode Overview: In this deeply honest conversation, Aileen and Julie explore a powerful realisation about the difference between pleasureand happiness. Triggered by a reel on dopamine vs serotonin, the chat unpacks how chasing short-term highs can leave us feeling emptier than ever—especially during perimenopause and other identity-shifting life stages. This episode offers a compassionate lens on our coping mechanisms and a gentle invitation to start seeking what actually sustains us. Ke...

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11:46

Is This Even a Holiday? Redefining the Term to Fit...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/05/09

Episode Overview In this short but honest Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie unpack what taking a holiday really means when you're juggling a business, parenting, and the relentless mental load of modern life. From Aileen’s seaside escape in Spain (featuring a surprise meerkat) to Julie’s chaotic family visit up north, both share how even time away doesn’t always mean switching off. They explore the guilt, the pressure, the impossibility of true rest—and why we need to redefine what a break looks...

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32:12

The Silent Shift: Body, Identity, and Midlife | YKMS

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/05/07

Episode Overview This week, we’re diving deep into the menopausal middle—the physical, emotional, and psychological shift that happens during perimenopause. What started as a simple sanity check sparked a huge response from our listeners, so we’re going further. We’re talking about the silent confusion, the disorienting body changes, the grief, and the unexpected loss of identity that so many of us are experiencing—but rarely speaking about. From belly fat to brain fog, muscle loss to mood sh...

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11:41

No One Warned Us About This Phase: Perimenopause...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/05/01

Episode Overview: In this Sanity Check episode, Julie and Aileen dive into the hormonal chaos that hits when perimenopause and parenting teenagers collide. It's the messy middle no one warned us about—when your body feels like it’s breaking down just as your kids are ramping up. From brain fog to teen meltdowns, they share the raw, relatable truth about trying to hold it all together when everyone under the roof is riding a hormonal rollercoaster. 🔑 Key Discussion Points: The double whammy

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21:58

Self-Compassion: The Grace We Struggle to Give...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/04/30

Episode Overview In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie respond to a heartfelt listener letter asking a powerful question: Why is self-compassion so hard, even when we know it's important? They explore how deeply ingrained beliefs—from childhood conditioning to societal pressure—can make kindness toward ourselves feel indulgent or even weak. But what if self-compassion is actually the bravest, most radical thing we can offer ourselves? With honesty, vulnerability, and ple...

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9:51

Redefining Productivity: What Counts as 'Enough' |...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/04/24

Episode Overview: In this Sanity Check episode, we take a closer look at the push and pull between busyness and perceived laziness. Following the response to our episode on exhaustion as a status symbol, we explore the idea of productivity—how we define it, how we tie our worth to it, and how we can start shifting the way we measure a 'good day.' Key Discussion Points: The Productivity Trap: Why so many of us feel like we haven't done enough, even when we've checked everything off the list.In...

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26:06

So Much Guilt! – Even When We Haven’t Done Anything...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/04/23

Episode Overview: In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive deep into the weight of guilt—how we carry it, why we feel it, and whether it’s even the right word for what we’re experiencing. They explore how guilt is often misplaced, ingrained in us from childhood, and tied to expectations that may not even be ours. Is it actually guilt, or is it just sadness, regret, or feeling bad? And how do we begin to let it go? Key Discussion Points: 🔹 The Difference Between Guilt and

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13:08

The Menopausal Middle: Our Bodies Changed the Rules...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/04/17

Episode Overview In this episode of Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into a frustrating yet deeply relatable topic—the stubborn menopausal middle. They share their personal experiences of how their bodies have completely changed the rules, making it harder than ever to maintain weight or fit into the clothes they’ve always worn. While they’ve done a lot of work on body image and self-worth, the disconnect between how they feel mentally and what’s happening physically is real. Together, the...

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23:41

The Weight of Expectations: Breaking Free from What...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/04/16

Episode Overview Have you ever felt like certain people expect more from you than they do from others? Maybe your family still sees you as the one who always shows up, or your friends assume you’ll always make the effort, even when life has changed. In this episode, we unpack the hidden weight of expectations—where they come from, how they get reinforced, and why it’s so difficult to shift them. We also explore how expectations play out in different areas of life—family, friendships, wo...

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8:37

Feeling a Lack of Joy? Let’s Talk About Anhedonia |...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/04/10

Episode Overview Have you ever felt like the things that used to bring you joy just… don’t anymore? Like you’re going through the motions, but the spark is gone? That’s anhedonia—the inability to feel pleasure from things that once made you happy. In this episode, we dive into what anhedonia really is, why it happens, and how to gently invite joy back into your life. We also discuss the work of Dr. Judith Joseph, a psychiatrist who has helped shed light on this experience. Her insights helped...

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34:43

When the Past Calls, Don’t Answer: Embracing Who You...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/04/09

Episode OverviewHave you ever noticed how certain people or places make you feel like you're stepping back in time—right into an old version of yourself? Maybe it's when you're visiting family, reconnecting with old friends, or stepping into familiar social dynamics that no longer feel aligned with who you are today. In this episode, we explore why it can be so difficult to let go of outdated versions of ourselves, how to navigate relationships where others still see us as who we were, and th...

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12:52

Perimenopause: Just When We Thought We’d Heard It...

You Keep Me Sane ·

2025/04/03

Episode Overview Just when you think you’ve heard it all, perimenopause throws in a few more surprises—rashes and breathlessness! In this Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into these lesser-known symptoms, sharing their own experiences, frustrations, and what they’ve found helps (or doesn’t). If you’ve ever wondered why your skin suddenly erupts into chaos or why you’re out of breath just existing, you’re not alone! Key Discussion Points Aileen’s mysterious rash – An itchy, red, and inflame...

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