The Nuance Diaries

14:59

Once Upon a Time in a Wild Cozy Free Ocean

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/08/13

Remember when we would go back to school in September and talk about what we did that summer? If I had to answer that question today, in the context of how I spent my summer on Substack, here’s what I’d say – I did construction work on a beach. Huh? (That’s what I imagine my fellow classmates would say.) What I mean is, I built a seawall. You what? Okay, okay. Let me explain. Paywalls are often thought of as barriers that keep people out. Sea walls are literally built to contain the ocean in

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3:12

When you piss a woman off, you are splashing a well...

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/07/25

Do I at least remind you of every girl that made you mad?Florence and The Machine, Dream Girl EvilDear Men,When you piss a woman off, you are splashing a well of rageYou are tossing a pebble into a fiery, red-hot pond filled to the brim with righteous anger.Maybe you don’t deserve to be the target of our rage (that day, at least.)Maybe our reaction is out of proportion. Maybe the rage doesn’t fit the crime. But like I said. When you piss a woman off, you are splashing a well of rageTossing a pebble

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10:55

The most powerful thing about surrendering to hotel...

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/07/11

I wouldn’t have said that I was a Frankie Grande fan before today. Not out of animosity, but unfamiliarity. I only knew him as Ariana Grande’s very funny, supportive older brother.I learned more about Frankie throughout the Wicked press tour, as I continue to learn more about Ariana. Before Wicked came out, I mostly knew her through her hit songs. After falling in love with her performance in Wicked, I went down the rabbit hole quite a bit. Hampstead is now one of my favorite songs ever.Suffice it

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6:02

You’re Free to Think Whatever You Want About Me

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/07/06

Hello!I’m writing/recording this around 7 or 8 PM on Pride Sunday, eating chili on my couch. I could not be more comfortable in my denim and my t-shirt. I'm gonna go on a date in a little bit, but I thought we'd chat first.I feel so free.I feel so good in my body,That’s kind of crazy to say, considering some of the personal stuff I'm going through right now. I'm going through some really, really hard stuff.But in my body at this exact moment, I feel so good and free.For Pride Sunday, I wore this

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8:19

My ancestor's wildest dream is me doing my dishes,...

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/06/20

Thank you so much for being here! It would mean so much if you shared this episode with a friend. Here are a few more ways to support my work (all linked) Buy My Book Upgrade Your Subscription Tip Me on VENMO or KO-FI (both linked) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wildcozyfree.substack.com/subscribe

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8:05

"I guess it's no fun to have a heart when we are...

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/06/13

Quick announcement - I’ve decided to throw out my strict posting schedule. I’m still going to limit myself to emailing you once a week because I refuse to clutter your inbox. BUT in the meantime, over on Substack, I will be posting as much as I want, whenever I want.What does this actually mean, Alexa?I’ll still show up in your inbox once a week. Sometimes, I’ll post something and opt out of emailing it to you, and it will just show up on the Wild Cozy Free homepage. Whenever I email you, I’ll send

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0:55

can't see where my life is heading, but I can see the...

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/06/11

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wildcozyfree.substack.comI wrote this song about a year ago, and it’s one of my favorite songs I’ve ever written. The phrase “I know I’m working hard, and sometimes I can see it” came from one of my best friends during a conversation about how it can be hard to see our own progress when there’s no tangible ‘proof’ of how hard we’re working.To listen, upgrade to a paid subscription for $7/month or $75/year ($9 off!) at

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25:08

alive

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/05/29

This is without a doubt the scariest thing I’ve ever shared.Every Mental Health Awareness Month, I share something pithy and trite. (Maybe I’m being unfair to myself. Sometimes I post a throwback from the play I wrote about a therapist and her patients.) A lot of people don’t know the parts of my story that I share in this video. And even the people who know have never heard me talk about it like this. (If you know nothing about me at all, maybe start here for an overview.) I’m scared of what people

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24:56

Swimming Like Hell

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/05/02

Hi friends. It’s been a minute. Many minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months since I last published anything here.I have been doing a lot of writing and stopping and starting and stopping and rewriting and musing on what my first post back would be. I haven’t published anything personal that really speaks to what's going on with me in a while.I feel almost paralyzed with anxiety every time I sit down to write to you. I’ve gotten teary more than once. I get a few paragraphs in, and then I stop and

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15:03

The Black Becky Bloomwood

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/02/02

LINKS MENTIONEDhttps://www.sophiekinsella.co.uk Alexa's FB MarketplaceAuthenticity and Money Conversation w/Melissa MittEssay I Wrote About Selling My CoffeetableRead the full essay/transcript at wildcozyfree.substack.com. Excerpt below! “OK don't panic.”Books 1-6 in Sophie Kinsella’s brilliant Shopaholic series all start with those three words except for the one that begins with,"OK. I can do this, no problem."Some of Sophie Kinsella’s stand-alone novels start in a similar tone. The first line of

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5:58

An Ode to Sammy Rae and the Friends & The Girl Who...

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/01/26

I am in my own lane I will not let myself downI am in my own place, I am my own houseI’m sitting on my living room floor on a chilly January Sunday. I just sold a coffee table I’ve never really liked, to a recent college graduate who loves it. She’s furnishing her first New York City apartment.I’ve been wanting to sell this table for a while, so I’m thrilled that it’s finally sold. And yet, I imagined I’d still be a little sad to walk back into my apartment and see the empty space where the table

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9:26

I'm over society's obsession with January

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/01/21

Hi friends. Happy New Year. Like me, I’m sure you’ve been inundated with all the ‘New Year New Me’ newsletters, gym memberships, etc. telling you how 2025 is going to be your year. Rather than cut through the noise, I decided to just wait it out and stay in holiday cocoon mode a little while longer. But now that I’m here in your inbox, I couldn’t be more excited to tell you about my new framework for becoming your real self, setting real goals, and making real changes in your life. It’s unlike

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12:19

Why I’m writing to you at 2 AM on Christmas Eve

The Nuance Diaries ·

2024/12/24

You might be wondering what the hell I have to say to you that’s important enough that I’d post something on Christmas Eve. CHRISTMAS EVE!! A day often, rightfully reserved for last-minute shopping, cooking, seven fishes dinners, holiday movies, and maybe some semi-peaceful (or at least tolerable?) time with loved ones.Or maybe - you’re excited to be hearing from me, in which case…Either way, I deeply value your times so I’ll get right to it.If you’re having an amazing holiday season devoid of

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29:45

my mind feels like soup

The Nuance Diaries ·

2024/12/20

Wild Cozy Free is a reader-supported publication. Paid subscriptions + donations are deeply appreciated!https://ko-fi.com/alexajuanitajordanhttps://wildcozyfree.substack.comLet’s talk about exhaustion, coziness, Wicked, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Single All The Way (my go-to Netflix holiday movie), why it’s hard for me to start a new TV series, and how important my fictional friends are to me.Let’s talk about how to process things publicly, without giving everyone the nitty gritty

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7:09

"Everyone Is Doing Better Than You."

The Nuance Diaries ·

2023/11/29

My brain is amazing at picking out one seemingly inconsequential detail about a person and then using that detail to spin an entire imagined narrative about why their life is better than mine. That girl in the matching athleisure set jogging in Central Park? She works out every single morning; she’s more disciplined than me.The construction worker laughing with his buddies? He has more joy in his life and doesn’t sweat the small stuff.The really friendly cashier who compliments me on my choice of

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13:28

Why I Became a Life Coach

The Nuance Diaries ·

2023/10/11

This is another, I wanted to wait until I was ready, kind of post.One of my friends referenced the opening line of my very first essay over here at substack during class last week. The sentiment resonated with her, and many of our peers. I decided to become a life coach shortly after starting this blog. I hit publish on my very first post over here in May, and started class at the end of June.It isn’t something I’ve been building up to for a while. It isn’t something I even fully had a grasp on

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16:52

No More Playing Small

The Nuance Diaries ·

2023/09/13

TW: explicit discussion of eating disorders and body dysmorphia. It’s okay to skip this week if you need to ❤️My ‘Oy with the Poodles Already!’ Gilmore Girls T-shirt no longer fits me comfortably. Neither does my ‘In Omnia Paratus’ one. They’re tight in the sleeves, and cling to my forearms. I want to snap my fingers and shrink my torso so that I can fit into them like I used to. But I can’t do that. I’ve outgrown them. And that is a bitter pill to swallow. I refuse to part with these beloved

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5:36

Bathroom Floor

The Nuance Diaries ·

2023/07/19

I’ve loved the phrase “God of the bathroom floor” ever since I heard it. It’s used by Glennon Doyle and Elizabeth Gilbert (in Love Warrior and Eat Pray Love, respectively) I used to say, people say that God is everywhere, but I think that God is in the bathroom because of the moments of rock bottom I’ve had on bathroom floors. That’s like my altar.-Glennon DoyleThe bathroom has always held space for the emotional weight of al of me, time and time again. Small or large. Simple or fancy. Ever since I

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2:41

Coffee and Dresses

The Nuance Diaries ·

2023/07/05

I’m back with another poem! I actually technically wrote this as a song, but it also works as a poem. You can listen to the voice over if you’re curious about what the melody sounds like. Here we go!The pain bubbles up inside me In ordinary moments When I’m wearing a dress Headed home from a party -Or the next morningWhen I’m on my own drinking coffee -Unspoken wounds Heavy like tombs Carrying all I don’t say -Like “how are you?” I’m fine Well surprise, that’s a lieEven when all is wellBut you’d

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