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PODCAST

Wonderland Unlocked

Courtney Hays | Mental Health Advocate and Registerd Behavioral Technician

Welcome to Wonderland Unlocked! I"m Courtney, your Peer Support Specialist, excited to guide you through a journey inspired by Alice in Wonderland. We"ll explore mental health, personal growth, and self-discovery through enchanting tales, offering insights on identity and emotional resilience. Whether you seek inspiration or feel lost, this space is for you to embrace the adventure and uncover the magic. So, grab your favorite tea or coffee, and let’s unlock the wisdom of Wonderland

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All Episodes

00:11:34

E129 – To the Dormouse Who Slept Through My Pain

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/14

Series 7: Unlocked Letters – A Journey Through Hurt and Hope Episode 129 – To the Dormouse Who Slept Through My PainIn this episode, we open a letter sealed in silence—written to the one who napped through the noise of our heartbreak. To the Dormouse Who Slept Through My Pain is a raw, reflective message to the people who looked the other way when they should’ve looked closer. When pain filled the room, they stayed asleep. When you reached out, they curled deeper into comfort.This is a letter for

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00:10:19

E128: To Alice: I Wish I Was You

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/13

Series 7: Unlocked Letters: A Journey Through Hurt and HopeEpisode 128: To Alice: I Wish I Was YouIn this deeply personal episode, I write a letter to Alice—a figure of curiosity, adventure, and endless possibility. Alice's journey through Wonderland is one of self-discovery, embracing the unknown, and navigating the chaos with courage and wonder. For years, I envied her freedom to explore, to question, and to reinvent herself, while I felt trapped by my own inner turmoil, limitations, and

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00:13:21

E 127: To the Mirror I Feared: A Letter to My Own...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/13

Series 7: Unlocked Letters: A Journey Through Hurt and HopeEpisode 127: To the Mirror I Feared: A Letter to My Own ReflectionIn this heartfelt episode, I write a letter to the reflection I spent years avoiding—the person staring back at me in the mirror. For so long, my own image was a source of discomfort, a reminder of all my flaws, insecurities, and the parts of myself I couldn’t accept. Through the lens of Alice in Wonderland, I confront the fractured sense of self I’ve carried with me, shaped

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00:12:50

E 126: Dear Red Queen: I Learned Rage from You

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/11

Series 7: Unlocked Letters: A Journey Through Hurt and HopeEpisode 126: Dear Red Queen: I Learned Rage from YouIn this raw and powerful episode, I pen a letter to the "Red Queen" within—my inner embodiment of anger, fear, and frustration. Through the lens of Alice in Wonderland, I reflect on how this fierce, unpredictable force became ingrained in my emotional landscape. From childhood tantrums to the destructive cycle of self-loathing, the Red Queen’s reign is both a symbol and a symptom

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00:12:11

E125: The Hatter’s Diagnosis

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/10

Series 6: Not Quite Alice — The Wonderland of Being Given AwayE125: The Hatter’s Diagnosis“Mad, aren’t you?” In this episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we sit down with the Hatter — or rather, the long line of therapists, teachers, doctors, and well-meaning adults who tried to explain what was “wrong” with us.Being adopted often means being pathologized. Big emotions? Must be a disorder. Questions about identity? Probably defiance. In The Hatter’s Diagnosis, we untangle the confusion of growing up

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00:09:59

E124: The Queen’s Checklist — Good Adoptee Behavior

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/09

Series 6: Not Quite Alice — The Wonderland of Being Given AwayE124: The Queen’s Checklist — Good Adoptee BehaviorIn this episode, we step into the throne room of expectations — where adoptees are handed invisible scrolls of how to behave, how to feel, and who to be. “Be grateful,” “Don’t ask questions,” “Smile and stay small.” Sound familiar?Today on Wonderland Unlocked, we open up the Queen’s gilded checklist and take a closer look at the impossible standards many adoptees are expected to meet just

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00:10:09

E123: Paper Flowers, Paper Parents

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/08

Series 6: Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given AwayE123: Paper Flowers, Paper ParentsSometimes the people meant to care for us feel fragile — like paper flowers that look beautiful but can’t stand the test of time or hardship.In this episode of Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given Away, we explore the ache of having caregivers who seem loving on the surface but lack the depth, consistency, or support you needed to truly grow.We dive into:The experience of feeling seen but not

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00:12:34

E122: The Painted Roses of Perfection

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/07

Series 6: Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given AwayE122: The Painted Roses of PerfectionWhat happens when you’re expected to be flawless — to fit perfectly into a story that isn’t your own?In this episode of Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given Away, we unravel the pressure of painting over your true self to meet impossible standards. Like the Painted Roses in Wonderland, you might feel forced to cover your real colors just to avoid conflict or rejection.We explore:The exhausting

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00:12:51

E121: The Queen’s “Gift”

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/06

Series 6: Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given AwayE121: The Queen’s “Gift”“You were chosen,” they say. But chosen by whom? And for what purpose?In this episode of Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given Away, we dive deep into the weight of being labeled a “gift” — whether by birth family, foster system, or adoptive parents — and the expectations that come with it.We explore:What it really means to be “chosen” and the pressure that can followHow being a “gift” can feel more like a

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00:12:50

E120: The Caterpillar’s Smoke: Reunion and Reality...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/05

Series 6: Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given AwayE120: The Caterpillar’s Smoke: Reunion and Reality CollideReunions can feel like stepping through a fog—hope, confusion, joy, and uncertainty swirling all at once.In this episode of Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given Away, we explore the complex emotions when past and present meet face-to-face. What happens when the dream of reunion clashes with the messy, real-life truths that don’t quite match the story you’ve held onto?We

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00:12:27

E119: Cheshire Smiles and Missing Files

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/04

Series 6: Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given AwayE119: Cheshire Smiles and Missing FilesSometimes the biggest mysteries come with the brightest smiles—and the most frustrating gaps.In this episode of Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given Away, we unravel the tangled emotions behind missing pieces of your story: incomplete records, lost memories, and the elusive truths hidden behind a charming façade.We explore:The impact of missing or altered adoption or foster care filesHow

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00:13:09

E118: The Dormouse’s Silence: The Secrets They Fed You

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/03

Series 6: Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given AwayE118: The Dormouse’s Silence: The Secrets They Fed YouSome truths arrive wrapped in whispers—or don’t arrive at all.In this episode of Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given Away, we dive into the quiet spaces filled with unspoken stories, half-truths, and the secrets that shaped your understanding of yourself and your past.We explore:The weight of silence and what it means to grow up without clear answersHow secrecy around your

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00:18:00

E117: The Rabbit Didn’t Wait: A Birth I Wasn’t Meant...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/02

Series 6: Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given AwayE117: The Rabbit Didn’t Wait: A Birth I Wasn’t Meant to RememberBefore you had words for what happened—before you even knew what you lost—you were already running to catch up.In this opening episode of Not Quite Alice: The Wonderland of Being Given Away, we begin at the moment that’s never quite clear: birth, separation, and the silent shaping of identity from the start.This episode explores:The unseen impact of relinquishment, adoption,

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00:21:49

E116: Curious Careerland: When You Can’t Tell What...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/06/01

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E116: Curious Careerland: When You Can’t Tell What You’re “Meant” to DoOne moment you’re chasing a dream. The next, you’re questioning if it was ever yours to begin with.In this episode of Borderline in Wonderland, we tumble through the twists and turns of career identity crises, purpose panic, and those all-too-familiar existential spirals. Especially for folks living with

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00:12:32

E115: Wonderland’s Exile: Regretting What You Were...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/31

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E115: Wonderland’s Exile: Regretting What You Were Never Allowed to ExperienceWhat do you call grief for something you never had?In this episode of Borderline in Wonderland, we explore the quiet, aching regret that follows you when you were never allowed to fully live—when trauma, control, or emotional chaos kept you on the outside of the life you longed for.Not because you

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00:09:18

E114: Do They Know I Tried?

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/30

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E114: Do They Know I Tried?You explained. You apologized. You showed up, even when it hurt. You did the work, over and over—and still, it wasn’t enough. Or worse, it was never even noticed.In this heart-wrenching episode of Borderline in Wonderland, we sit with the ache of invisible effort—the quiet, relentless trying that so often goes unseen when you live with BPD.We

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00:14:06

E113: Off With Her Head: The Punishment of Being ‘Too...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/29

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E113: Off With Her Head: The Punishment of Being ‘Too Emotional’Cry too loudly. Speak too honestly. React too visibly. And suddenly—you’re the villain.In this raw episode of Borderline in Wonderland, we step into the emotional courtroom where sensitivity is treated like a crime. We explore how being “too emotional” often gets you labeled unstable, manipulative, or

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00:08:03

E112: Painting the Roses Red: The Family Image You’re...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/28

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E112: Painting the Roses Red: The Family Image You’re Not Allowed to RuinSmile for the photo. Don’t bring that up here. We don’t talk about that. What will people think?In this episode of Borderline in Wonderland, we explore what it’s like to grow up in a family where appearances matter more than truth. Where the pain had to be tucked away, the problems brushed under the

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00:07:48

E111: The Stigma Stamp: When Mental Health Becomes...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/28

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E111: The Stigma Stamp: When Mental Health Becomes the Excuse“She’s just being dramatic.” “He’s having one of his episodes again.” “Don’t take it personally—it’s her mental health.”In this episode of Borderline in Wonderland, we’re unpacking the painful reality of having your humanity reduced to a diagnosis. When people use your mental health—not to understand you—but to

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00:08:10

E110: Through the Window: Watching Life Go On Without...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/28

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E110: Through the Window: Watching Life Go On Without YouYou see them laughing. Moving forward. Posting pictures. Making plans. And somehow, you're still on the other side of the glass—uninvited, unspoken to, unseen.In this episode of Borderline in Wonderland, we explore the heartbreak of disconnection that isn’t always loud or obvious. It's in the quiet scroll

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