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PODCAST

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

Janna Denton-Howes: Marriage Coach | Sex Educator | Low Libido Expert

Doing It Together is about empowering women and men to heal from cultural messages so that they can discover true pleasure and connection in their sexual relationship and marriage. This podcast addresses the common dynamic in a heterosexual relationship in which the wife doesn’t want and enjoy sex and the husband does.Too often, the focus is placed on labels like “low libido” and “low sex drive” without addressing the root issues including physical and emotional safety, shame, porn use,

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

00:37:55

How Early Messages About Sex Distort Intimacy in...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/04/15

In this honest and vulnerable two-part episode, Carey shares the hidden struggles she faced with intimacy throughout her 30-year marriage while raising seven children.At just nine years old, Carey was exposed to adult magazines that distorted her understanding of intimacy. By 13, she found herself in relationships where intimacy felt more like something expected of her than something she chose.Married at 21 while still finishing school, she quickly began to see sex and intimacy as a burden—an

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00:56:09

REAIR: How Men Can Rethink Their Roles To Support...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/04/08

In this reair of Ep. 111, Janna chats with Michael Kaufman, the author of The Time Has Come: Why Men Must Join the Gender Equality Revolution. Michael, a renowned advisor, activist, and keynote speaker, shares his insights on how traditional male roles in the bedroom and beyond often don’t benefit women. They dive into why it's crucial for men to confront their own privilege and engage in open dialogues about gender equality.Michael also discusses the rapid shifts in societal roles for both men and

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00:50:14

Breaking Free from Decades of Pain and Pushing...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/04/01

Romance novels promised Amy that her man would always know exactly what to do. The church assured her that sex would be wonderful once she was married. But when her first wedding night was filled with pain instead of pleasure, she was shocked.And the pain never went away. Over the course of her 30-year marriage, it evolved from undiagnosed endometriosis to rheumatoid arthritis to menopause. She felt exhausted, dismissed, and unhappy, but continued to push herself to be intimate with her

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01:14:30

How to Overcome Fear to Have Honest Conversations...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/03/25

One of the most common questions we get is: "How do I talk to my kids about sex?" In today’s episode, Janna sits down with her teammates, Melissa C. and Melissa W., to discuss how they approach these conversations with their kids, whose ages range from 6 to 21.They share stories from their own childhoods, reflecting on how they navigated these topics largely on their own, and the education they wish they had received. The conversation touches on the fears they had to overcome to talk openly with

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00:32:47

One Year Update After Taking Doing It Together - with...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/03/18

It’s been a year since Chris and his wife of 21 years took the Doing It Together course, and he’s here to give an honest update on how things are going.For two decades, Chris and his wife struggled with intimacy, trying everything they could think of to improve their connection. From counseling and self-help books to even participating in a university sex study, they explored every option. Despite their efforts, nothing seemed to work. Chris found himself spiraling with thoughts like, “Is she

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00:54:20

Why Low Libido Is a Couple’s Issue, Not Just Hers to...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/03/11

Luke and his wife have been married for 25 years and have struggled with sex through most of that time. Things changed after kids and his wife experienced post-partum depression. Her libido plumeted and didn’t come back. Luke took the stance that this was her problem to solve and waited for years for her to 'fix' herself.It wasn’t until they found Janna and the Doing It Together program that Luke learned how big of a role he played in the lack of intimacy in their relationship. He shares what he’s

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01:08:36

Escaping the Constraints of Traditional Gender Roles...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/03/04

Janna discovered Jaime and Josh through their shared Instagram profile, @marriageishappening, and was so moved by their marriage story that she invited them to join her on the podcast.Married at 21 with four kids soon after, they initially adhered to traditional gender roles—Jaime stayed at home while Josh worked outside the house. Jaime, an extrovert, describes early parenthood as a time filled with "shock and horror." She found herself isolated in a basement suite with no help, limited adult

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00:41:50

Are You Truly Listening to What Your Partner Is...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/02/25

Keith continues his story from Episode 134, diving deeper into his experience of starting the Doing It Together (DIT) program with his wife. Having gone through his own therapy, Keith thought he was way ahead of the game when he began DIT. However, he quickly realized the role he played in his relationship dynamic was much more complex than he had originally thought. In this episode, Keith shares the valuable lessons he learned about processing emotions, truly listening to and understanding his

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01:11:28

Breaking Free from the Traps of Tough-Guy Culture -...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/02/18

In this two-part episode, Keith shares the first part of his story. Growing up as a child of color, Keith learned early on what was and wasn’t acceptable to express around his family and friends, especially the men and boys. While the women in his life supported his artistic side and sensitivity, Keith feared being labeled as weak or ridiculed by the men. His culture taught him that toughness and strength were the key qualities of being a "real" man.As a result, Keith struggled with his emotions in

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00:49:04

Adventures in Online Dating, Faith, Betrayal & Low...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/02/11

In this enlightening episode, 40-year-old Brandi shares her inspiring journey of self-discovery and rekindled desire. Growing up in southern Utah within the Mormon faith, Brandi's sex education was rooted in the belief of abstinence until marriage. After her first marriage ended due to years of betrayal, she ventured into the eye-opening world of online dating before meeting her current husband.In the beginning, their sex life was amazing, but after she became pregnant, her desire faded completely,

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00:58:57

Feeling Broken and Alone While Searching for Answers...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/02/04

Kate and her husband started out having what she describes as a great sex life. It felt exciting, easy and fun and her pleasure was easily accessible. As the years passed and life got more stressful and overwhelming, her desire plummeted. She couldn’t understand what happened. She started keeping a calendar to track how often they had sex and if too much time went by she would shame herself into doing it. Even though sex felt fine in the moment, she had no desire and felt broken and very

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01:04:15

Couples Share How Their Relationship Thrived by Doing...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/01/28

On the final day of the last round of Doing It Together, Janna and her team gathered all the husbands and wives for a farewell Zoom call. During this heartwarming session, she asked, "What’s been your most unexpected takeaway from this program?"The couples’ honest responses were deeply moving. After just eight weeks on their journey, they had already made remarkable progress in rekindling their intimacy. Although the journey wasn’t without its challenges, witnessing their progress in real-time

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00:48:31

The Doing It Together Team Answers Your Questions -...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/01/21

In this special episode, Janna talks with her coaching teammates, Justin and Melissa, about the upcoming round of Doing It Together, what couples can expect from the program, and common questions they are asked about low libido and sexual connection from both men and women.Justin and Melissa answer:What are men and women worried about when considering joining Doing It Together?What would you say to someone considering joining but is on the fence?What do you hear men and women share about their

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00:49:26

Understanding Anxiety and Emotional Suppression in...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/01/14

From a young age, Kris learned to suppress his emotions and handle his feelings alone. His friends, family, and culture reinforced this mindset, showing him quick fixes for managing his growing anxiety, such as drinking alcohol, using drugs, or turning to adult entertainment. Over time, he became an expert at burying his emotions, but this came at a cost—dark moods, silence, and withdrawal from his family and marriage.After decades of living this way, Kris hit a breaking point and, with hesitation,

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01:04:38

Overcoming Years of Silent Tension & Unspoken...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/01/07

Chloe and her husband, married for 12 years, struggled with their intimate relationship from the very beginning. However, they found it difficult to have honest conversations with each other. Both raised in Britain with the belief in keeping a “stiff upper lip,” discussing emotions or sensitive topics didn’t come naturally to them. Her husband’s moods often turned dark and tense, and Chloe learned to tread carefully, trying to manage his unspoken feelings. Instead of confronting the issues, they

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01:01:03

Tim's Journey from Confusion to Clarity in His...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/01/01

Tim and his wife have been married for 30 years. Their initial connection was deep and fulfilling, but once they got married, something changed. His wife began to touch him less and less, and Tim felt rejected and confused. This led to frequent arguments. After their three kids moved out, Tim hoped things would improve, but they didn’t. He fell into an emotional spiral, convincing himself that the only explanation was that his wife no longer loved him.Thankfully, Tim’s wife discovered Janna’s

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00:44:57

"I’m Too Young To Not Want Sex" - with Bri | Ep. 126

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2024/12/24

33-year-old Bri was convinced something was wrong with her. She hadn't been intimate with her husband in over two years, and their once passionate relationship had dwindled to a series of weekly arguments and frustrations on both sides. She was convinced she had low libido because she was too young to have lost interest in sex—what else could it be?After following Janna for several years, Bri and her husband decided to enroll in Doing It Together to finally understand what had gone wrong with their

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00:52:58

The Foundations For a Life of Secrecy & Lies - with...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2024/12/17

Jason describes himself as an adventurous thrill-seeker, always in search of a rush. When he discovered the internet in college and the types of images and videos that could be accessed secretly and anonymously, it led him down a dark path marked by decades of manipulation, lying, and gaslighting as he tried to protect his secret behaviours.His marriage suffered as a result, but he was unable to recognize the damage his actions were causing to his wife. He believed he knew the "right way" for

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00:48:43

The Impact of Shame on Young Women - with Kelly | Ep....

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2024/12/10

As a young girl trying to understand sex and sexuality, Kelly experienced a lot of shame from her parents and the small-town culture she grew up in. Without any sex education, she and her friends had to figure things out on their own, trying their best to support each other along the way.Now, as a mother raising two daughters, Kelly still sees the same shame directed at young women and the sexualized way they are often viewed. These messages had a significant impact on Kelly’s own intimate life with

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00:35:23

Overcoming 'Good Guy Syndrome' - with Zack | Ep. 123

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2024/12/03

Zack had always thought of himself as respectful towards women—until he confronted the reality of how his daily consumption of porn, starting at age 12, affected his relationship with his wife. For over 20 years, this habit was a part of his life, and though he never intended to objectify anyone, he learned that it deeply harmed his ability to connect emotionally and intimately with his wife.Through the Doing It Together program, Zack took a hard look at his behaviors and realized just how much his

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174 results

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