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PODCAST

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck

Richard Vandentillaart / Nick Vardon

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck is a documentary-style audio descent into a place that shouldn"t exist—but very much insists that it does.Once a forgotten military outpost in the depths of Northern Ontario, Bootstuck has taken on a life of its own. Discovered only through a pile of mislabeled cassette tapes at a Sudbury garage sale, the story of Bootstuck slowly unravels through scattered interviews, cryptic clues, and increasingly bizarre residents. The deeper you listen, the more you realize

comedy comedy interviews

All Episodes

4:20

TAPE 26 - " Tires and Carrots "

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/06/29

Tape 26: “Tires, Carrots, and Other Local Crops” Got another recording today—this one opens with them claiming to have reached my “secretary” (the voicemail, I assume), asking if she has good penmanship. After that, the call wanders through Bootstuck’s new agricultural report: apparently they’ve got a backfield full of “wild tires” that “grow” in the mud, plus a bumper crop of unexpected carrots. Dave’s supposedly writing a musical number about the tires. Plans are also underway for a roller ...

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3:57

Tape 25 - "Bruise Your Bum?"

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/06/26

Tape 25: “Bruise Your Bum?” There was a voicemail waiting this morning. I still have no idea how they got my number. No callback info, no explanation—just another rambling dispatch from Bootstuck. It opens with a commotion in one of the backrooms and quickly derails into a story about beach injuries sustained from excessive waving. When pressed for any kind of local wisdom, they suggest an owl could probably handle that sort of thing. A brief airshow takes place—unverified—before a scuffle br...

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5:16

Tape 24 - Airshow, an Air Crash and some Hot Air

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/06/22

It starts innocently enough: Hat Guy claiming there’s going to be an airshow. This, naturally, turns out to mean one plane seen from very far away, a helicopter that might’ve been a goose, and a deflated rainbow-shaped hot air balloon salvaged from wherever such things land when they've had enough. Still, it’s more organized than the ski hill. Things then veer into a community talent show where Caleb will be judged — possibly for sport, possibly for population control. No prizes, just the cha...

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4:34

“Time, Pills, and the Sears Catalogue”

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/06/19

This tape starts with snowmobiling. Or rather, the sound of snowmobiling — since the machines don’t move, the locals just make noises and call it “Skidoo.” Caleb provides ear-wind simulation. What follows is a baffling rundown of Bootstuck’s print-based “social media flyer” (which might be Facebook, or a hand-drawn newspaper), an attempt to replicate the Sears catalogue by hand, a supplement run “from the mothers,” and a local philosophy that includes boots falling off, yelling “John!” into t...

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4:20

Tape 22 - Pop Top Balls and Recreational Olympics

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/06/15

I’ve been cataloguing these tapes for months now, and I’m still not sure if Bootstuck is a functioning township or an elaborate performance art piece. This tape starts with something called a "snowman minute"—a unit of time defined by how long it takes to both build and melt a snowman—and somehow drifts into what can only be described as a failed Winter Olympics bid… held in someone's backyard. There’s talk of a ski hill (five feet high), a chairlift (manual, powered by Caleb), and skis fashi...

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4:05

Tape 21 - “The Mayor’s Haircut and Other Red Flags”

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/06/12

I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this. This latest tape kicks off with a brief mention of Titanic 2 (apparently still unreleased in Bootstuck), and only gets murkier from there. There’s discussion about avoiding spoilers—of both the cinematic and automotive variety—followed by a story about someone named Stephen who didn’t wave and has now been entered into a “wishy-washy book,” which I suspect is a very real, very serious document in Bootstuck governance. And then we get to the ha...

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4:23

Tape 20 - Fish Each, Friction Water & The King of Canada

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/06/05

Send us a text The latest tape starts with caps. Specifically, hat inventory. Apparently, the King of Canada (real or dream-based, unclear) has advised the residents to prepare for winter with new ice scraper-equipped toques. From there, it veers. There’s mention of a new goldfish-based restaurant called Fish Each—the name refers to a strict one-fish-per-person policy and modelled after Red Lobster or Red Monster as Hat Guy calls it. Later, a moving truck that doesn’t move needs to be moved...

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4:20

Tape 19 - House of Cards with a runway

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/06/01

Send us a text This one kicks off like a 1940s social hygiene film before it collapses into a tale of unstable real estate, gravy-based adhesives, and existential architecture. Hat Guy shares a nursery rhyme, forgets how houses work, and constructs a two-bedroom, zero-bed home entirely out of playing cards. No one moves in. Fortunately. Elsewhere, Hat Guy may be opening a business, launching a sport, or reinventing the economy—it’s hard to say, because halfway through his pitch, Steven interr...

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4:56

Tape 18 - Buckles, Boats and Bootstuck Currency

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/05/29

Send us a text The Bootstuck tape machine coughs up another bewildering recording featuring a long, one-sided voicemail, a heated discussion about boot buckles, and a serious deep dive into gravy economics. The townsfolk debate the practical dangers of decorative footwear, the true purpose of a “gravy boat,” and whether Canadian Tire money can be legally used when the nearest Canadian Tire is 400 miles away. Meanwhile, we meet Luke Warm (from Yonder), who apparently measures up at six acorns ...

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4:35

Tape 17 - The Secret Light Show and Dave Juggs

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/05/25

Send us a text The holiday spirit arrives in Bootstuck with all the confusion and homemade flair you’ve come to expect. Tape 17 crackles to life with a musical tribute to the humble jug—an instrument that can be played anywhere, anytime, and preferably without warning. Meanwhile, townsfolk debate the ethics of inflatable lawn décor (giant possums included) and hatch plans for an unsanctioned Christmas light show featuring Caleb, an axe, and a concerning number of flashlights. Things only get ...

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4:37

Tape 16 - Disposable Thumbs and a Creamy Joe

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/05/22

Send us a text Recovered in less-than-ideal condition, Tape 16 is a chaotic casserole of overlapping conversations, occasional military interference, and enough Bootstuck-brand nonsense to fog a lens. The first segment features Hat Guy wrestling with the existential crisis of which light belongs at which end of a vehicle—head or tail—while rhapsodizing about the convenience of disposable thumbs. Meanwhile, Dave enjoys what he describes as a “lower-half bath,” and somehow that’s not the weirde...

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4:02

Tape 15 - “Running from Dinosaurs, Falling Downstairs”

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/05/18

Send us a text We open on what might be a radio answering machine and Hat Guy is mid-panic, convinced he’s being hunted by dinosaurs (real? metaphorical? unclear), and then the message cuts off like someone pulled the plug. The tape picks up later with our weary interviewer attempting a Bootstuck-style lightning round, which is to say: rapid-fire nonsense in hopes of coaxing coherence out of chaos. Spoiler: it doesn’t work. We do, however, learn that Bootstuckians classify champagne as ...

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4:53

Tape 14 - "It's all Part of The Illusion"

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/05/14

Send us a text Tape 14 opens with what I can only describe as an audio endurance test. Our slow-talking, never-named narrator yawns his way into a conversation about Bootstuck’s latest developments—if you can call them that. We’re introduced to the annual Carve-Off, a celebration of, well, carving... though the categories are as off-kilter as everything else in Bootstuck. Caleb will be carving wood, naturally, while Dave has committed to carving spaghetti. Yes. Spaghetti. Apparently, you'll h...

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4:23

Tape 13 – “Been Around Pizza with Matlock"

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/05/11

Send us a text This tape opens, inexplicably, with a commercial for explosion protection—a service that suggests either Bootstuck has a blast radius problem, or someone got a little too ambitious with a microwave. Our unnamed slow-talking friend returns shortly after, pondering the mystery of why pizzas are round, boxes are square, and leads to pitch of his latest business venture: a pizza place called Been Around. Hat Guy arrives just in time to derail it with a fist fight and another unsoli...

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3:45

Tape 12 - "All is Fair in Bootstuck"

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/05/08

Send us a text Just when I think I might be closing in on something concrete, Bootstuck takes a sharp turn back into the absurd. Tape 12 introduces us to Terrence, a man who apparently lives in a place called Nearby, which—naturally—is not nearby at all. It’s 70 kilometers away or, as Dave puts it, “seven songs,” depending on his mood and fuel level. The rest of the tape is a dizzying preview of the upcoming Bootstuck Fair, a community gathering where you can get a license plate painted on yo...

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4:35

Tape 11 - Getting the Heck Out of A Dodge

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/05/04

Send us a text Just when I thought we’d peaked with snuggle-based heating (see Tape 10), Tape 11 drags us even deeper into the metaphysical swamp that is Bootstuck. Our slow-talking friend—last heard counting snowflakes by the bucket in Tape 6—calls Dave (still wrapped in lights, I presume) from what he claims is a burnt-out Dodge. No explanation. No coordinates. Just the soothing, molasses-paced chaos of Bootstuck, as usual. We’re also treated to a brief geography lesson featuring nearby "to...

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4:55

Tape 10 - Winters Warmth

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/05/01

Send us a text This tape gives us a rare seasonal snapshot: winter in Bootstuck. And, true to form, it’s not exactly what you’d call conventional. Dave is apparently wrapped in Christmas lights—possibly by accident, possibly as a coping mechanism—and the others decide to just leave him like that. As a display. A living, blinking reminder that Bootstuck celebrates the holidays... differently. We’re also introduced to Caleb, the town’s unofficial lumberjack. He chops and stacks wood around the ...

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3:04

TAPE 9 - Signals Crossed

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/04/27

Send us a text Tape 9—or at least what’s left of it—is mostly static, warped and broken. But somewhere in the noise, a voice punches through, crackling out what sounds like call letters: "JEAN." Maybe it's just interference, maybe I'm reading too much into it—but it feels intentional. And in Bootstuck, that’s enough to set my mind racing. Once the tape settles, we’re back to familiar chaos. Our host and Hat Guy recount a baffling trip to the local Costco knockoff—Costdown—where he somehow buy...

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3:17

TV and Radio in Bootstuck

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/04/24

Send us a text So Bootstuck has a radio station, which explains a few things and helps me get a sense of how these tapes were made. Mind you the news source, Hat Guy, is not exactly reliable so it's hard to say just what is actually going on over there. On this tape there is mention of a restaurant called " Eater Way" with a chef by the name of Dave. Not sure if this is the same Dave from before but it's not long before the conversation switches back to hats. As luck would have it I was about...

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4:08

TAPE 7 - Boob Tubes

The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck ·

2025/04/20

Send us a text There are two interviews on Tape 7. One is between 'Dave' and hat guy discussing a tubing company located in Bootstuck. There is a garbled break followed by an in car interview with Hat Guy about....hats... and the definition of "Whoop" www.bootstuck.com

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