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Crotty Farm Report

@Crotty

Deep takes from the Deep State, and beyond. crotty.substack.com

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1:06

Taylor Swift and I agree: vote, even if the...

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/09/14

You’ve seen the pitch from Jimmy “The Belly” Crotty above. Here’s Taylor’s (click on the requisite photo with cat): Unlike The Crotty, Ms. Swift publicly endorses a specific candidate while disingenuously calling upon everyone to register (even Trump voters, Tay?). She also indirectly peddles lies about Trump's actual positions on abortion, gay rights, and IVF. Crotty’s only wish is for free speech, free assembly, free thought, and a nation free of the scourges of broken borders, rampant crime,

48:34

Crotty for President: my inaugural townhall,...

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/09/12

It is painful to be an American right now, with such inane, unprepared options for President and such dangerously biased media rooting for and covering for one team. I need an escape hatch to another country, portal, or universe of excellence. But I will try to remain in the CrotMo trenches and demonstrate the excellence that our two standard-bearers congenitally cannot. As I know from direct experience working in Congress during his first term, Trump will advance the most policies I can support,

1:34

Should JD Vance just come out already?

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/09/06

Friends, this is the first in the Crotty Farm Report (CFR) TV series. In this month’s episodes, I answer questions from a random Gen Z questioner. Unlike Hillary at the CNN debate, I don’t know any of the questions in advance or have notes. This one is on the house, but you must become a paid subscriber to view the rest. As you will see, Musk, Oliver, Stewart, Trump, and Tucker have nothing on “The Crotty Man.”Trigger warning: For those properly formed in Conservative Jewish, Midwestern

1:07

Learning to fly.

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/09/06

For years, you’ve seen your trusted Crotty Farm Report scribe driving hither and yon in the fabled Crius on long-distance Odyssean treks. It took a lot of psycho-spiritual preparation and the calm, loving reassurance of a fellow Monk, but on Tuesday, September 2, 2024, on a nonstop American Airlines trip from LAX to Omaha, I took my first flight in years. And without any “pharmaceutical support.” Like a true punk monk, I like to solve problems straight edge and direct to the source.Here’s my

4:52

There is only one Democratic ticket in this race. And...

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/08/30

There can’t be Democratic Party “joy” after last night’s joke of a short, softball, sycophantic CNN “interview.” 39 days without talking to the press, Empress Kamala seemed anxious, small, and nervously unprepared to be commander-in-chief of the most powerful military the world has ever seen. Her comfort animal sidekick, Tim Walz, was useless, confirming the stereotype of him as a weak, untethered, and chronic liar in the grand Joe Biden tradition.Thankfully, there is still a bona fide Democratic

3:28

Crotty in Camarillo: Cornhusker meets California.

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/08/26

Ok, ok, more like $700,000 Zimbabwe dollars for the custom Crotty tour. Thanks for reading Crotty Farm Report! This post is public so feel free to share it.Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

2:11

Elon Musk Delivers Again: L.A. Tesla Supercharger...

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/08/13

Indomitable, irrepressible, and heroic Boring Company, Neurolink, Space X, Tesla, X and xAI CEO––and future Crotty Farm Report subscriber––Elon Musk tweeted in 2018: “Gonna put an old school drive-in, roller skates & rock restaurant at one of the new Tesla Supercharger locations in LA. And an outdoor screen that plays a highlight reel of the best scenes in movie history.” True to his word and pretty close to completion, the supercharging “station” at 7001 West Santa Monica Boulevard in West

1:54

Frogtown, baby.

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/08/10

LA’s Frogtown, AKA Elysian Valley, got its name when hordes of Western Toads took over its streets in the mid-20th century. You may remember frogs falling from the sky in P.T. Anderson’s San Fernando Valley epic Magnolia. It was not just a Biblical reference but a real-world one. Frogtown became further isolated when the I-5 Freeway was built along it. Today, it fits all the criteria of the Crotty Faded Empire mash-up: industrial, pastoral, urban, rural, multicultural, Stoic, striking, and

3:33

The Family of Outsiders.

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/08/07

Life is more than Coke, Pepsi, and Dr. Pepper! Democrat or Republican. Left or Right. The pain you feel in reading The Crotty Farm Report is your brain breaking through conditioning and shibboleths to see the world brand new outside groupthink and funneling. It hurts!You are courageous! A warrior! Come get your mind right.Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Thank you for reading Crotty Farm

20:18

Why Trump chose Vance: Part Two

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/07/16

Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Thank you for reading Crotty Farm Report. This post is public so feel free to share it. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

13:25

Why Trump picked JD Vance for Vice President: Part One

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/07/16

Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Thank you for reading the Crotty Farm Report. This post is public, so feel free to share it. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

8:53

Assassination attempt on Trump: my first reaction.

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/07/14

Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

44:27

Who lost in the Biden cognition cover-up? Not Joe Biden!

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/07/13

As always, we have to clean up a few things that Strokey said: * I meant billions of people worldwide (not trillions, LOL) and millions (not billions) here in the U.S. I had the net worth of Apple and Nvidia on my mind, not humans!* It’s pronounced “Clyburn,” not “Clybourn,” which I know but was sleepy like Joe.* Republicans used the term “lawfare,” not Democrats. Enjoy over a cup of hot matcha!Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider

1:29

King of the fireflies!

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/07/08

We all remember chasing fireflies. It’s an essential rite of summer. Meet your younger self. Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Thank you for reading Crotty Farm Report. This post is public so feel free to share it. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

20:30

Oh Sonia, oh humanity! Democrats should be counting...

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/07/03

An expansive interpretation of presidential acts is tremendously beneficial to Joe Biden, who, minus the Monday, July 1 United States Supreme Court ruling in Trump versus The United States, could be charged with causing the deaths of innocent American women murdered by illegal immigrants who entered the country because of his deliberately open border. If Associate Justice Sonia Sotomayor had gotten her way, President Barack Obama could be convicted of murder for his drone strikes on Americans

25:31

Just keep ridin' with Biden?

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/07/02

In yesterday’s must-listen interview with attorney Greg Abbott, we outlined in great detail the options before Democratic leadership in the wake of Thursday’s shocking and heartbreaking revelations about Biden’s cognitive decline and ensuing leaks about his administration’s coordinated cover-up. Americans now see through to the core of Team Biden's reelection strategy: hide Joe, wage lawfare on Trump. That strategy was blown up with Thursday’s debate debacle and Monday’s Supreme Court ruling on

66:33

What do Democrats do now?

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/07/01

Democrats are out to sea. All options to change course are tough. The waters are choppy and filled with sharks. Do Democrats keep “Ridin’ with Biden” in the hope that voters become innurred to the President’s cognitive decline? Or do they change skippers late in the regatta? Should they move Kamala to the top of the ticket and pair her with a female Vice President in a groundbreaking move? Or do they go in a completely new direction? Who would be that new option? What will the electoral

15:35

It's time to take the keys away from dad.

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/06/29

It’s tough to see a father in Joe Biden’s compromised condition. Whether dementia, Parkinson’s, sundown syndrome, or whatever we as an American family shockingly witnessed Thursday night, it’s bound to get worse from here. There’s no way a man with the President’s advanced neurodegenerative decline should be remotely near the nuclear codes. I’ve seen saying it since 2020. Now, the Trump-deranged media is finally seeing it. As Joe himself would say, “Here’s the deal”: It’s time to have that talk

5:27

Upstairs, downstairs: Crotty reports from the...

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/06/24

Pushed out to Lincoln with Omaha CrotMo rented out for the College World Series, our intrepid correspondent returns to his former workplace, the Cornhusker Hotel, to reveal some inside baseball on the separation of church and state in the historic first district of Congress. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

3:14

I stumble into a posse of storm chasers in the...

Crotty Farm Report ·

2024/06/19

When Crius and I first ran up on them at a Sand Hills gas station, we figured they were an itinerant band of Pentecostals. The two white vans and the way the diverse assemblage politely gathered inside the filling station suggested as much. It turns out that they were a posse of storm chasers led to western Nebraska by an Arlington, Texas, outfit called Tempest Tours. To my reckoning, this kindly gathering was emblematic of a post-pandemic trend: finding fulfillment back in the natural world

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