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PODCAST

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch

Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition. www.wethefifth.com

news & politics

All Episodes

115:49

#504 - N-Bombs and Real Bombs

The Fifth Column ·

2025/05/08

* Notes from a live event (going live later today) * Fifdom represents* Spotify exposes!* RIP Swampy* India, Pakistan, and the American retreat* Ending power, hard and soft* Marjorie Taylor Chomsky * Israeli endgame* Portnoy’s NYT complaint* Piers Springer and the forbidden word* Don’t give money to meth head Nazis who yell at babies This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

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17:48

Members Only #259 - Tariffed into Chastity

The Fifth Column ·

2025/05/06

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Tickets for tomorrow’s Moynihan-moderated debate at the Village Underground can be purchased here! And subscribe to the Moynihan Report YouTube channel!* Winnipeg land acknowledgements* Prison competition* Tariffs for erotic French movies* Traitorous Hollywood not paying enough to make movies* A listener wants to talk about Steph Curry * Rare books* Lying on the fact…

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130:56

#503 - Mea Minima Culpa

The Fifth Column ·

2025/05/03

They’re all back. And they recorded a very fun, very long one…during the day…to minimize drunken regrets. So many topics are covered—the Koch brother, the last episode, bad interviewers, bad manners, the strange new media, the strange new Ukraine strategy, exit Walz, etc—that we might as well dispense with the usual bullet points and just get right into it…Enjoy! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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18:23

Members Only #258 - We Don't Talk About Fight Club...

The Fifth Column ·

2025/05/01

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comMoynihan couldn’t make it (we don’t know where he is, but if you see a shirtless man yelling at a parking meter in lower Manhattan, please let us know). In his absence, Kmele and Welch cover a wide swath: alien oceans and scientific hype cycles, the collapse of local journalism, the rise of YouTube basketball nerds, and why Luka Dončić is the people’s MVP. They also wade into darker waters—federal crackdowns on campus

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125:14

#502 - The Second Battle of Batya (w/ Batya...

The Fifth Column ·

2025/04/24

Errr….This one gets pretty heated. But we’re all still friends! We think. And Moynihan is now sober and his blood sugar is back to normal, so there’s that too. Either way, hats off to Batya for braving another episode with three people who disagree with her on pretty much everything. We talk Tariffs, Trump, lawfare, Ukraine, and everything in between. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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21:10

Members Only #257 - I'll Ruin Everything You Are

The Fifth Column ·

2025/04/23

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* The Hungarian dentist and the prostitute theory* Your TV wife sees Hitler all the time, no?* Facilitate…* Dinners with politicians * A digression on Big Star (FYI: "Holocaust”)* Elder scams* Apple Watches and proof of life* Back to Rogan and Murray* A trip to Libya for a copy of the Green Book* #9 Fifth Dream * Doing an impression of a smart person / Paul believes* A theory …

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18:48

Members Only #256 -- How Media and Public Health...

The Fifth Column ·

2025/04/21

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comOn May 11, 2020, as I was navigating personal collapse (“it’s been a really shitty two months,” I said on an interesting-to-listen-to-now Special Dispatch #20), my two daughters were wrestling unhappily with Zoom school, and all three of us lads were in the process of buying Covid cars, I came across a Wired article that landed like a Cher-style open-ha…

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85:56

#501 - Due Process in Scare Quotes (w/ Jesse Singal)

The Fifth Column ·

2025/04/18

Moynihan is out with a “tooth thing” (which sounds lame, but is allegedly a “painful,” “very serious” dental emergency that definitely doesn't involve a tall, attractive blonde woman). Fortunately, our pal Jesse Singal (Blocked and Reported, Singal-Minded) is along for the ride, and outlines the plans for his heroic crusade to save THE REPUBLIC by beefing with JD Vance on X. We dive into Trump 2.0’s extra-constitutional improvisations, fail to steer clear of trade policy, and search desperately for

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102:32

#500 - The Triumph of the Idiots

The Fifth Column ·

2025/04/10

Is this episode 500?? Well, not really. Likely a bit higher. There have been some numbering convention mixups over the years and we’ve also recorded almost 300 paywalled episodes (yes, you should subscribe now, ya skinflints). But let’s just pretend it’s 500 and say…happy 500th episode, Fifth Column! * Waymo through skid row* The dumb right* Dead cats bounce* They took brown doublewides from us* Nixon, but in the open * Where are the Dems?* Besides magic* The DEI trade off?* The sweet meteor of

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29:15

Members Only #255 - Val Kilmer Didn't Die for This

The Fifth Column ·

2025/04/07

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Val, Tombstone, Top Secret* Top Gun takes it to 11* One the best Hollywood memoirs * RIP Capucine* African-American Monday * Johnny Depp, musician * OK TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE COLLAPSING ECONOMY* Spartacus moment? Once they start flipping…* “They couldn’t believe it. Ben Shapiro, of all people…”* A Norwegian. A Dane…and a guy who *isn’t Finnish, Matt** On the best fight of …

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91:05

#499 - One of the Dumbest Decisions in American...

The Fifth Column ·

2025/04/04

* We bring back the great economist Scott Lincicome to separate MAGA myths from inconvenient facts on trade, trade imbalances, ChatGPT math, and getting “ripped off” by our (former?) allies. * Note: watch Kmele and Moynihan (and Gerald Posner) on the latest episode of the Moynihan Report * Eli’s new Liberation Day jam* These tariffs are dumb* Really, really dumb* Ruinously dumb* Laura Loomer is dumb* Tom Sowell isn’t dumb* MAGA’s Iraq This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with

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20:23

Members Only #254 - These Days of the Condor

The Fifth Column ·

2025/04/01

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Tomorrow on The Moynihan Report: Actor and former fat guy Ethan Suplee (American History X, Wolf of Wall Street, Mall Rats, Remember the Titans). You can watch live at 4pm ET here. Archived there too! * Muslims and parking * No turkeys in NYC * Matt to the mothership* Austin Fifdom* Kmele and a Complete Unknown* Our paranoid times* No MAGA, no paranoia?* When you’ve lo…

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104:44

#498 - The Signal and the Boys

The Fifth Column ·

2025/03/27

* FYI: If you want to join the Zoom for March 27 episode of The Moynihan Report at 4pm ET, use this link * The Legend of Gavin and Charlie * Bob in Tulsa * Moyn in Miami* The bumbling Signal Boyz* We hope our kids never lie like this * Defund NPR * Another 25% will save American industry* Remember the minerals deal?* The jury on whether we should execute the judiciary * Car swastikas * And much, much more! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access

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80:14

#496 - Ich bin ein Disappointed Konspiracy Theorist

The Fifth Column ·

2025/03/19

* Live tweeting history* The importance of Jack * The “climate of hate”* Some of these goofballs are normal* RIP Manny* The fake ceasefire * If only were weren’t a democracy…* Back to Gaza * Civil liberties, due process, and magicians * And a bunch more…. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

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21:15

Members Only #253 - One-Armed Lithuanians and Mute...

The Fifth Column ·

2025/03/19

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* The golden age of Oaktown’s 357 ("I just put Juicy, Got Him Crazy into Chat GPT to determine what it's about and it is definitely a song about...."* Yes, we briefly talk about forgotten about rappers and their dumb lyrics* Pumps and the Bump* Grok has this to say about our Hammer convo: “The casual acceptance of MC Hammer’s Speedo situation is absurdly funny.”

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20:13

Members Only #252 - On a Sunday, On the Lash (w/...

The Fifth Column ·

2025/03/17

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comA rebroadcast of our last subscriber-only Second Sunday episode. Thomas Chatterton Williams stops by. Everyone’s in the same room. Many bottles are emptied. Many offensive jokes told. Many careers destroyed. Enjoy.

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115:38

#495 - Cranks, Conspiracies, Campuses, and Ceasefires

The Fifth Column ·

2025/03/15

* The one Jew she likes* The amateur crank historian* The cranks always end at…take a guess* Kmele isn’t interested in Ms. Macron’s dong* Show we draw some distinctions?* Congrats to the Buchananites* The weirdness of Gavin Newsom’s podcast* On Bannon* On Columbia, the first amendment, masks, and dangerous idiots* The Ukraine non-deal* And much, much more This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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15:50

Members Only #251 – We Got Five Years of Covid Fury

The Fifth Column ·

2025/03/13

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comI was very moved by friend & past guest Jeff Blehar’s Covid anniversary piece, so … I just read it out loud. And added related commentary for paying subscribers. Some links alluded to therein, in rough order of reference:* Reason Roundtable Covid look-back* Related Twitter thread* “The Great COVID Rupture: Three years after ‘15 days to slow the spread,’…

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97:30

#494 - State of Delusion

The Fifth Column ·

2025/03/05

* A very long SOTU* Al Green meets Buju Banton, Tripadvisor objects* The most beautiful, terrifying word in the English language* The “deficit” you shouldn’t care about * The forgotten Foxconn boondoggle * The hopeless Democrats* Maybe look at, say, Dean Phillips and ignore the Squad* Asian finger cuffs* Two cheers for parliamentary democracy * Poor lil’ Marco * Who killed Gene Hackman’s dog? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus

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18:55

Members Only #250 - Twitter Is Now Real Life

The Fifth Column ·

2025/03/03

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comThere’s some discussion of parenting. A tiny bit about the Oscars. And a bunch about the triumph of conspiracy culture. But this is mostly a subscriber-only episode about the Zelensky debacle and the ongoing U.S. foreign policy realignment. So why bother with bullet points?’

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