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PODCAST

Beat Motel Zine

Welcome to Beat Motel Zine, the comedy-infused alt-music podcast! Born from a zine from the DIY scene, we blend laughs with punk, metal, and everything offbeat. Discover the weirder side of bands, from unintentionally funny stage antics to musical mishaps. Tune in for a profane, comedic journey through alternative tunes, where every episode is a laugh. Join us as we explore music"s funniest fringes with a punk rock spirit! Can the alternative music scene and comedy mix? Of course they can; we"ll

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All Episodes

00:55:11

Bands with Weird Merch

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/03/24

Ever found yourself at a gig, three beers deep, staring at a merch table and wondering why the hell a band is selling a manhole cover? Well, Andrew Laws and Dr Sam (aka Dr Roid Rage) have. This week, they dive headfirst into the bizarre, impractical, and sometimes downright offensive world of band merchandise.From Misfits flogging literally anything with a skull on it (including Tiki mugs, because obviously) to Norwegian punk bands financing entire albums with municipal infrastructure, this episode

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01:03:55

Music we think we'll like when we're very old and...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/03/17

What music will we love when we’re old and decrepit? Will we swap death metal for classical funeral masses, or will we just keep playing Rush until it finally makes sense? In this episode, Andrew Laws and Dr. Sam (aka Salmonella) explore how our musical tastes might evolve (or decay) as we age.🎵 Featuring riffs from:Mozart (because funeral music is just evil classical metal)Rush (because we might be patient enough for them someday)Louis Armstrong (because soft landings are needed as life gets

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01:13:04

Bands to introduce friends to a genre

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/03/10

Welcome to Beat Motel Podcast - Episode 121, where Andrew Laws and Dr Sam set fire to good taste and dance around the ashes.🔊 This week:Cottage cheese: culinary delight or bin juice?Does coughing make you think of Black Sabbath?The Wu-Tang Clan’s Ipswich connection (it’s real, honest).Melvins live: genius or just the same riff over and over?The ultimate metal gateway band—is it The Sword or are we just lazy?Techno vs. Free Jazz: the never-ending war rages on.Why SpongeBob might be the most

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00:57:03

Bands and genres we've grown out of

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/03/03

Ever looked at your old gig T-shirts and thought, "What was I on?" Well, we have, and in this episode, Andrew and his co-host, Dr. Sam, take a long, hard look at the bands and genres they once adored but now make them cringe (or at least yawn).We start strong with Andrew explaining how Jackie Chan's autobiography is more important than socialism, followed by a deep philosophical debate about whether public transport seats and kids' clothes share the same stain-hiding

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01:01:07

Crate Digging and Smug Chord Progressions

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/02/24

This week, Andrew is joined once again by the ever-ready, ever-fit Oli—because let’s be honest, he’s always on standby when the usual suspects drop the ball. Together, they take a deep dive into crate digging, both in the literal sense of flicking through dusty vinyl sleeves and in the modern-day algorithm-fueled digital rabbit hole of obscure musical discoveries.🔹 Riff of the Week: Oli brings us Desire by 18 Carat Affair, a vaporwave banger dripping in sleaze. Andrew, in a shocking plot twist,

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01:02:54

Albums That Broke Bands: The Most Painful Recordings...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/02/17

This week, Andrew and Sam dive into the sheer agony behind some of music’s most infamous recordings. From bandmates quitting mid-session to entire studios being demolished, these albums came at a heavy price.In this episode:Pranking housemates with terrifyingly coloured bodily fluids – because why not?Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours – an album powered by divorce, cocaine, and spite.My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless – two years, 19 studios, and a label nearly going bankrupt.The Rolling Stones running from taxes

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01:07:48

Albums That Should’ve Been EPs (And Toilets in Bury...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/02/10

We start strong with batter-fried nonsense, birthday chaos, and a bit of early swearing to keep things respectable (naturally). From there, we rip into bands, black metal, weird band names, and whether or not you should ever talk to someone at the urinal (spoiler: no!).This week’s theme? Albums that should’ve been EPs, or as we call it: “Long-winded b0llocks that should’ve been cut down before they met the general public.” Orville Peck, System of a Down, Franz Ferdinand, and more are on the chopping

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01:08:46

Bad Band Reunions vs Good Reunions & Michael Crawford...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/02/03

This week on Beat Motel, Andrew welcomes Daz Hewitt, Ipswich music legend and former bandmate, to talk about band reunions—both glorious and catastrophic. Of course, they immediately derail the topic and spiral into madness.Expect absolute nonsense, including: 🎸 New Wave of Pretty Heavy Metal – Daz accidentally invents a new genre while describing Poison, and we might be onto something. 🎶 Billy Idol is Davros in Doctor Who – Apparently, Billy Idol’s 90s motorbike accident means he’d make a great

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00:57:46

Great Collaborations in Music (And Why Ginger Baker...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/01/27

This week, Andrew welcomes Dr. Sam (aka Flan F***er Page—yes, really) for a deep dive into _great_ musical collaborations. Along the way, they cover everything from Tito Puente to Sinead O'Connor, the genius of Bernard "Pretty" Purdie, and a story about Ginger Baker's olive farm that involves derelict barns, blind-drunk driving, and horses casually chilling indoors.Expect rants about Gary Boys (and how they ruined Ipswich’s traffic flow), the horror of Elton John being "a bit too nice," and why

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01:02:36

Pointless Collaborations in Music (And Why We Love to...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/01/20

Andrew Culture teams up with Dr. Sam to unpack the most baffling, eyebrow-raising, and just plain pointless musical collaborations ever inflicted on humanity. From Elton John’s karaoke shenanigans with Orville Peck to the baffling Lou Reed and Metallica mash-up that _should have stayed a rumor_, this episode is a glorious deep dive into the "why even bother?" of music history.Along the way, Andrew mourns the repetitive sound of butter dishes, Dr. Sam defends Franz Ferdinand (but not their Doppler

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00:57:24

Good B-sides vs Bad B-sides

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/01/13

In this week’s episode, Andrew is joined by the enigmatic Dr. Sam to dissect the sticky, smelly world of B-sides. From Suede’s majestic castaways to Korn’s half-baked remixes, they wade knee-deep into what makes a B-side a banger or just a bad idea. Along the way, Andrew reminisces about the peculiar 80s phenomenon of white dog poo, the trauma of squishy sandals, and why Ipswich is (mercifully) less turd-laden these days.Dr. Sam brings his sharp ear and an unsettling amount of love for freaky

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00:53:49

Bands you wouldn't want to cover

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/01/06

In this episode of **Beat Motel**, Andrew Culture and Ollie dive headfirst into the treacherous waters of cover songs. From Blur’s awkward moments to Jimi Hendrix being untouchable, the duo debates which bands and tracks are simply too sacred, complex, or ridiculous to cover. Along the way, they drop truth bombs about Madonna’s infamous coffee table book, dissect Damon Albarn’s lounge act origins for "Song 2," and explain why American men are just _built different_.Hear tales of function band

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01:09:45

Soundtracks you NEED to hear

Beat Motel Zine ·

2024/12/30

This week on **Beat Motel**, Andrew’s joined by Jago for a full-on rummage through the dusty vinyl crate of movie soundtracks. It’s soundtracks, but not as you know them—Michael Caine movies, unexpected Quincy Jones bangers, and one or two synth-heavy horrors. Along the way, they rant about fake live albums, discuss why Portishead’s “wrong” notes sound so right, and reminisce about teenage Grebo grievances. Somehow, it spirals into video game scores, the unexpected brilliance of 1930s musicals, and

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00:49:45

They sampled WHAT?

Beat Motel Zine ·

2024/12/23

It’s the episode where **Andrew Culture** and Dr. Sam somehow make an entire hour of toilet chat, dodgy sampling, and musical rambling sound like a work of art. From unicorn stools (Google at your own risk) to squatting like a Baltic legend, the pair venture into a shambolic journey across music that sampled _what?!_ Expect the unexpected as they break down: - **Bodsore** sounding like a black metal fever dream. - A British punk banger sampling Windows’ startup sound. - _Tricky’s_ expensive 90s

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01:04:59

Forgotten bands

Beat Motel Zine ·

2024/12/16

This week on **Beat Motel**, Andrew is joined by the triumphant return of Ollie, a co-host who’s now "back by beat demand" (his words). Together, they light a candle for forgotten bands—metaphorically, of course, to avoid the insurance fraud that their shrine mishap inspired. From nostalgia-soaked anecdotes to relentless riffs, this episode explores the dusty edges of musical memory. **Highlights**: - **Turbo Prog Love:** Ollie’s "Riff of the Week" honors Cleft’s "Trap Door," described by a mate

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01:20:54

Rivals

Beat Motel Zine ·

2024/12/08

This week, Andrew and Jago dive into the chaotic world of **musical rivalries**, from playground-level spats to outright murderous feuds. Highlights include:- Jago’s dangerous addiction to seaside 2p machines, proving the only real winner is the arcade owner. - The eternal bitterness of Dave Mustaine (_35 million albums sold but still salty_). - Blur vs. Oasis—teen idols or commercial gladiators? - Charles Manson: misunderstood artist or murderous twit? (_Spoiler: Jago’s hero worship is…

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01:06:51

When the Drums Kick In

Beat Motel Zine ·

2024/12/02

**Episode Title:** _When the Drums Kick In – and Other Musical Mishaps_ **Hosts:** Andrew Culture & Dr. Sam **Summary:** Get ready for an unhinged exploration of the greatest moments when drums _really_ kick in – whether it’s a masterful fill or just chaos in a trench coat. Andrew and Dr. Sam stumble through topics like Phil Collins' shiny dome revolutionizing baldness, the orchestral carnage of WWI-themed metal gigs, and why Greg's vegan sausage rolls might double as building materials

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01:10:30

Best album endings

Beat Motel Zine ·

2024/11/25

In this week’s audio catastrophe, Andrew is joined by Dr. Sam to discuss "best album endings." Naturally, this means chaos, sarcasm, and several tangents about guinea pig recipes, Björk's cat in pajamas, and why the Rolling Stones are basically for your mum. Musical choices span the predictable (Stone Roses) to the avant-garde (Bjork making cat noises). Plus, the duo spends more time rambling about band names, random memories of Ipswich gigs, and the existential sadness of Lemmy's apartment than

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01:01:10

Great album, terrible song

Beat Motel Zine ·

2024/11/18

In this week’s Beat Motel, Andrew and his co-host Dr. Sam tackle the odd world of _Great Albums with Terrible Songs_. Ever wondered why a near-flawless record gets ruined by a random ear-sore? Same here. Andrew dives into the trenches with Metallica, Kyuss, Radiohead, and others, pondering why bands sabotage themselves with tracks that barely qualify as filler. Dr. Sam treats us to a sociological study of the infamous “skullet” and rants about modern bands who go through music school rather than

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01:01:18

Singing Drummers

Beat Motel Zine ·

2024/11/11

In this episode, Andrew and Dr Sam dive into the world of singing drummers—because why settle for just bashing skins when you can also belt out tunes? Expect a thorough dissection of jazz chaos theory, led by Peter Evans and his so-called “three-stooges” approach to organised sound. The duo also explore Karen Carpenter’s dual talents, Red Fang’s unadulterated riffage, and Mastodon’s... well, let’s say, questionable riff decisions. Dr Sam throws in some knowledge grenades about jazz producer

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