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PODCAST

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere

Gill Sims Jo Middleton

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere is a hilarious podcast from authors, bloggers and great friends, Jo Middleton and Gill Sims. In it, Gill and Jo kick back with a cocktail, or a delicious glass of wine from our partners Laylo, https://drinklaylo.com/, and have a bit of fun discussing random topics including but not limited to, parenting, hormones, menopause, weird nineties sex tips, and relationships. Oh, and we also proffer advice we are in no way qualified to give in our regular problem page slot.

comedy parenting

All Episodes

29:19

Marmite, Mince and Manky Habits

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2023/03/22

This week we attempt to curb our habit of going off piste and rambling about anything that takes our fancy with a quickfire round of topics suggested by Instagram followers and two minutes to talk about each of them. We cover quite a wide range, from period pants and our favourite dog Instagrams, to scented candles and the scourge of the #BeKind movement, aka- women, don't dare express an opinion! For the cat lovers out there, two of Jo's cats make cameo appearances too, and there may be some

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34:45

Freudian Slips and Frizzled Cervixes

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2023/03/15

This week, we attempted to talk about Mother's Day, and whether it is a delightful tradition, or a huge corporate rip off, and important feminist topics like whose responsibility it actually is to arrange Mother's Day. But we are, as ever, very easily side tracked and therefore we ended up discussing equally important topics like the joy of elasticated waistbands, Princess Di figurines and ceramic cats, whether tea can go off, Jo's latest nest of pants for her cats, and the time Gill misguided wore

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35:42

International Women's Day

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2023/03/08

This week we are chatting about various issues surrounding International Women's Day, including the differences between bringing up girls and bringing up boys, our favourite topic of Why Are Men, and why so many women don't want to call themselves feminists anymore. And yes, we do also mention That Question about International Women's Day. We also may say 'F*ck the patriarchy' quite a lot, because well, f*ck the patriarchy!

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35:36

Gynaecologists and G-Clamps

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2023/03/01

We had the very bright idea to attempt to discuss spring cleaning and why we couldn't be bothered with it, but it became quickly apparent that we couldn't even be bothered talking about it, as we immediately digressed onto topics such as unspeakable things floating in hot tubs; our now regular update on Jo's pants; Gill's love of internet stalking former crushes; an attempt to bribe Allan the plumber with After-8 sticks, and some important do's and don'ts before a first date. We also eventually

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35:58

Swallowed Socks and Bin Crocs

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2023/02/22

This week, we embark on some general life chit chat, but as we were both slightly sleep deprived, it encompasses an even wider ranging and more random selection of topics than usual. We discuss (among many other things) sea shanties and whether smugglers have TikTok accounts, the possibilty of rabbits appearing from unmentionable places, and why the Youth of Today can't start fires. Also, Gill has a minor rant about her time as a Cub leader, Jo reveals the latest update on the situation with her

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38:28

Opera Glasses and Arson

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2023/02/15

This week we are talking about Trying New Things. Not new sex positions, as our careful podcast research has revealed there are only about three of those, and all the other sex tips involve marbles or putting weird stuff in the fridge, but actual new life experiences. Unfortunately our attempts at exploring these exciting ideas led to Jo crying in a field again, Gill once more declaring the National Trust to be Dead To Her, and us both revealing a rather unhealthy obsession with our own

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31:56

Secret Admirers and Salty Butter

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2023/02/08

If romance is somewhat lacking in your life for whatever reason, and you are not looking forward to Valentine's Day rapidly approaching next week, this is the episode for you, as we attempt to talk about romance, but fail miserably as we find much more interesting things to discuss, like the time Jo forgot to swallow, hot cross buns, why Gill doesn't hold with boats, and if it's weird for your dad to give you a Valentine. We do veer slightly onto romance a few times, but Gill accuses Big Champagne

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32:24

Office Sex and Unfortunate Haircuts

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2023/02/01

Today, we are playing Agony Aunts, and channelling our inner Claire Rayners to advise on a wide range of issues from the positive side of office flirtations to career advice about why it's a bad idea to seduce the bride if you are working in a wedding dress shop. We also debate the hygeine aspect of photocopiers and if it counts as sex in the workplace if you work from home? And we discuss the tricky area of negotiating a tactful discussion with your mother in law, and why women dress more for

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31:27

Death or Tinder?

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2023/01/25

This week our topic is dating- more specifically, online dating in your forties and fifties, and the pitfalls and perils therein. Thanks so much to everyone who sent in their dating experiences, which led to us trying to answer a question that has perplexed women since the dawn of time, i.e- what is actually wrong with men? Jo attempts to explain why she would be seduced by a magician, and Gill describes her worst date ever, after Jo introduces her to the horrors lurking in the depths of the

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55:12

Boys and Blue WKD

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2023/01/18

Today we are time travelling back to the nineties with an extra long special episode, sampling a wide array of cheap alcopops, reminiscing about the effects they used to have on us, and talking about the most important question of the day back in our youth- how to tell if he fancies you...then we just got carried away on the alcopops and started chatting about boys, crushes, and what it really means when a man tells you he's 'thinking about you'...

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30:36

Bedroom Sausages and Kickboxing

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2023/01/11

This week, we are firmly against Dry January, we discuss the ethics of shaving vegans, and we talk about super important topics like making sure you give yourself little treats to make January less, bleak, teaching your children to make cocktails and taking full advantage of the Ikea creche. We also explore slow living via the medium of Tesco garage cocktail tins and Gill causes some trauma with the revelations from her most recent foray to the Urban Dictionary...

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31:53

Pigeon Street and Penises

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2023/01/04

Join us this week as we explore what is new and exciting for 2023, and by new and exciting, we mean some bizarre sex tips involving glass dildos and remote controls, and some interesting home hacks, including how to wreck your bra beyond all repair, and convince your friends you have lost the plot with cutlery clocks. We also get side tracked by some heated discussion about 80s children's TV shows!

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30:01

New Year's Day Special

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2023/01/01

Welcome to 2023! It's a New Year, and a New Us! Well, sort of. We are FULL of good intentions to become better people, but given that we are discussing the time Gill drank the boozy syrup out the bottom of the bowl from soaking the fruit for her Christmas cake, and Jo admits to the time her profiteroles went wrong, so she just ate the cream and chocolate, and we spend some time speculating on the best venues to murder people in, Becoming Better People is unlikely to happen any time soon. We are

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38:14

Puddings, Potatoes and Pot Pourri

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2022/12/21

The eternal question we are asked on a loop from about August- are you ready for Christmas? It seems to be a resounding 'NO' for Jo and Gill, if that makes you feel any better!

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36:27

The Grannies and Grinches Gift Guide

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2022/12/14

Join us today as we answer all your Christmas Conundrums with our Ultimate Gift Guide for the most difficult people in your life to get presents for. From the Man Who Has Everything, to the InLaw That Hates Everything, we've got suggestions ranging from helpful to downright passive agressive (but the beauty of pass-agg gifting, is that at least you're pleased with what you got them, am I right?).

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40:26

Menopause Special- Part 1: HRT

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2022/12/10

In the first of our Menopause specials, we are talking about HRT, and our own personal journeys that led us to starting it, the differences it has made to our lives, and suggestions about when you too might consider HRT, and how to approach it. However, because we are menopausal and forgetful and easily distracted, we also talk about Gill's hangover, and how she nearly drowned in the bath, and Jo's fear of tequila after the Incident in Brighton, and us both disrobing at inappropriate moments to

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28:52

Cuffing and Christmas Cocktails

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2022/12/07

This week, Gill is finally letting Jo get festive, and we're talking all things Christmas! Gill relates an unfortunate experience with a well oiled and rather frisky Father Christmas, and Jo reveals that she is taking her dog to see Santa Paws! We discover that Christmas sex tips are rather thin on the ground, but discuss innovative uses for turkey grease, and we attempt to solve a listener's problem with keeping both sets of grandparents happy over Christmas. We also have a fantastic competition

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33:23

Tinder and Tena Ladies

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2022/11/30

Today we're chatting about Jo's totally plausible reason for keeping gin in her bedside table, which had nothing to do with her forgetting to go on a date, and the weird and wonderful world of Tinder. Unfortunately this leads to speculation about what exactly a 'semi scripted adult film' might involve and for no apparent reason, Gill feels the need to reveal the sordid tale behind why she can never visit the Bodleian Library (it's NOTHING to do with rude films!). We also have a serious problem, as

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26:59

Sex Myths and Sweetcorn

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2022/11/23

This week we're talking sex myths- the weirdest, the scariest, the just plain disturbing, and the 'how did someone even think that was possible'. Gill reveals her in depth knowledge of Jackie Collins and nineties TV, and judges Jo for never having watched Press Gang. Jo is possibly traumatised for life by some of the revelations in this episode, and may never eat sweetcorn again, AND we reveal the results of the Great How Do You Put Your Bra On? Survey (you might be surprised)!

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29:55

Knobs and Nutella

It"s Five O"Clock Somewhere ·

2022/11/16

Join Gill and Jo as they talk travel worries, including whether it is better to book travel when you’re drunk or sober and how many extra emergency pants are too many. We also chat about accidently propositioning the man who holds the ‘cheap Apple repairs this way’ sign outside the Apple Store, being sniffed by a kennel man, and some mindboggling bedroom tips that demonstrate the difference in effort men and women are expected to put into being ‘sexy’. There is also an ‘unusual’ problem, regarding

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