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PODCAST

Intimate Judaism

Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn

Our monthly podcast, INTIMATE JUDAISM, addresses intimacy and healthy sexuality in the context of Jewish family life. We raise conflicts and challenges and candidly offer solutions while remaining firmly within the bounds of Torah and Halacha.

religion & spirituality judaism

All Episodes

44:22

(33) Painful Sex and Vaginismus: It’s Not Your Fault

Intimate Judaism ·

2021/05/25

Although quite common, painful intercourse is a topic that is rarely talked about. Couples who are unable to experience pain free intercourse, or are unable to consummate their marriage, may not know why this is happening or with whom to consult. Is this problem physical or psychological? How is it diagnosed and treated? In this episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss causes and solutions. Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more,

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51:42

(32) Lubricants, Vibrators, and Sex Toys for Marital...

Intimate Judaism ·

2021/04/20

Modesty, lack of information, and embarrassment are just some factors that inhibit observant couples from using products designed to enhance sexual intimacy. In this episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum host Beverly Damelin, who shares her expertise in the field of sexual enhancement products and explains how they can help improve the sexual experience. Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more. Just go to

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44:23

(31) Consent and Coercion: What Does Forced Marriage...

Intimate Judaism ·

2021/03/22

“Forced marriage" and coercive sex are terms that most believe have no relevance to Judaism. Nevertheless, in communities where marriages are typically arranged by parents and matchmakers, does the couple truly have the freedom to reject the match? And even in modern Orthodox circles, do young men and women sometimes feel pressured to marry when they aren’t sure about the partner, aren’t ready for marriage, or are uncertain of their sexual orientation? How do young people know that they are ready

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55:09

(30) Fantasy, Premarital Sex, Kink and More: An...

Intimate Judaism ·

2021/02/16

In Episode #30 of Intimate Judaism, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn answer practical sex questions from listeners. Among the subjects covered are: Can a couple experience sexual pleasure when intercourse is medically inadvisable? Why must couples get the first time "over with" on the wedding night? (Or must they?) Is it permissible to masturbate when your wife is a Niddah? May women fantasize? Does enjoying anal play mean I’m gay? ... and much more. Listen and share this special episode, and

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48:52

(29) Intimacy After Sexual Abuse

Intimate Judaism ·

2021/01/12

Sexual intimacy provides the opportunity to express love with connection, pleasure, and satisfaction. Yet, for people who have experienced sexual assault, sexual violence, and abuse, intimacy can feel very unsafe. Being on guard, and sometimes checking out and dissociating, is what has allowed abuse victims to survive, and the idea of “relinquishing control and getting lost in the moment” can be terrifying. Rather than associate physical intimacy with pleasure and connection, sex can trigger

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45:33

(28) Tzniut: Modesty, Female Masturbation and the Media

Intimate Judaism ·

2020/12/14

Orthodox girls and women are traditionally taught to dress modestly in order to avoid attracting the male gaze and to keep men from sinful thoughts or behaviors. These messages, according to Rabbanit Oriya Mevorach, an educator and doctoral student of Gender and Philosophy, objectify and sexualize women and girls, and are actually influenced by Western society’s sexuality discourse. Moreover, the effect of these messages present men as sexual beings while female sexuality is ignored. Rabbanit

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33:51

(27) “It Is Not Good for a Man to Be Alone”: Guiding...

Intimate Judaism ·

2020/11/09

Harav Binyamin Lau, community leader, author, teacher, and former Rabbi of the Ramban Synagogue in Jerusalem, recently introduced a document providing guidance for members of the religious LGBTQ community and their families. This document is a collection of recommendations that, according to Rav Benny, “Do not permit prohibitions or prohibit things that are permitted,” but seek to pave the way to integrate one’s identity with religious life. In this bonus episode of Intimate Judaism, Rabbi Scott

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54:45

(26) What is Tantra and is it Kosher? Enhancing...

Intimate Judaism ·

2020/10/28

Tantric sex originates from ancient Hinduism and revolves around sexual practices that focus on creating a deep, intimate connection. It is a meditative sexual practice that encourages people to focus on the connections between the mind, the body, and the soul. It is intended to lead to fulfilling sexual experiences and greater intimacy. Taoism is a system of traditional beliefs from China. Taoists believe that when a man ejaculates, he loses some aspects of his vitality, or life force, and Taoist

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41:10

(25) Sex and Guilt

Intimate Judaism ·

2020/09/22

Intimacy and sexual experiences are so closely connected with a person's sense of identity, and so seldom discussed in many religious communities, that they often are the source of tremendous feelings of guilt. When are these feelings misplaced and when do they serve a constructive purpose? How should a religious individual manage his experience of guilt? Is there a way to reframe the experience of shame or guilt in order to create a sense of empowerment? Join Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn as

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33:16

(24) “Unorthodox” and Male Sexual Functioning Problems

Intimate Judaism ·

2020/08/03

The Netflix series “Unorthodox” inspired two Intimate Judaism ZOOM panels on female and male sexuality respectively. But many listeners had further questions about sexual functioning in men -particularly with regard to "performance anxiety" - and asked us to discuss the topic in more detail. Join Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn in this bonus episode, as they discuss the factors that can contribute to erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation, and how religious and

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56:43

(23) Masculinity, Male Sexuality, & Judaism:...

Intimate Judaism ·

2020/06/09

Men are sexually assertive, they constantly think about and want sex, and their masculinity is determined by the frequency of their sexual conquests and their performance. This stereotype is perpetuated by the media in Western culture. Jewish sources, on the other hand, acknowledge the power of the male sexual drive, but require men to direct this drive exclusively towards marital relations. The expectation to live up to contemporary societal expectations of masculinity, to struggle with forbidden

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29:54

(22) “Just Do What He Tells You to Do”: Take-Home...

Intimate Judaism ·

2020/05/04

Intimate Judaism's recent ZOOM live panel (https://www.intimatejudaism.com/unorthodox-intimacy-and-authenticity-how-accurate-is-the-netflix-series-portrayal-of-chasidic-intimacy-episode-21/) aroused a great deal of interest and discussion. Many of our listeners wrote in describing their experiences, and in this bonus episode, Brooklyn trauma therapist Chaya Feuerman relates how the messages she received from her own kallah teacher shaped her negative beliefs about sexuality. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn

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57:29

(21) Unorthodox, Intimacy, and Authenticity: How...

Intimate Judaism ·

2020/04/29

The Netflix series “Unorthodox” portrays the journey of Esty, a young Satmar Chasidic woman who ultimately leaves her marriage and her community to live a secular life in Berlin. Her marital life with her husband, Yanky, and in particular, their dysfunctional sexual relationship, is fraught with conflict and unhealthy intervention of others. Moreover, Esty is seen as having little autonomy over her body or entitlement to withhold sexual consent. We invited a panel of experts to discuss some of the

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42:29

(20) Love (and Sex) in the Time of Corona

Intimate Judaism ·

2020/03/23

The Coronavirus has affected how we live, how we work, how we congregate and how we experience touch and intimacy. The world at large has had to renegotiate the common norms of social intimacy with distancing measures that are increasing daily. Meanwhile, couples are faced with a new reality: confinement at home, the need to keep children occupied and help them cope with stress and uncertainty, as well as provide comfort and reassurance to one another. How do couples navigate their intimate

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48:11

(19) Porn, Fantasy, and Compulsive Sexual Behavior:...

Intimate Judaism ·

2020/03/02

Our sources teach us that lusting after our hearts is prohibited. Yet sexual curiosity, fantasy, and thinking about sex are part of the normative developmental process. Therefore, how do we determine how much is too much and what thoughts and behaviors are problematic? Is what may be “bad for your neshama” like viewing porn, necessarily bad for your mental health, and might the battle to guard one’s eyes and control one’s thoughts actually backfire, leading to obsessional thinking and compulsive

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42:21

(18) Sex Is Not Something You 'Have'

Intimate Judaism ·

2020/01/27

“Sex is not something you ‘have’ but rather an expression of an intimate and erotic energy that a couple mutually shares.” This quote, from the recently released book, I Am For My Beloved: A Guide to Enhanced Intimacy for Married Couples by co-authors Talli Rosenbaum and David Ribner, reflects the theme that a passionate marriage is about cultivating a loving, emotionally intimate relationship. In this episode of Intimate Judaism, Rabbi Scott Kahn interviews co-host Talli Rosenbaum, and her

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45:56

(17) Let's Talk About Sexual Pleasure

Intimate Judaism ·

2020/01/07

Is sexual pleasure considered an important value in Judaism? What place does sex for pleasure have in a healthy marriage? Join Talli and Scott for a frank and open discussion about these and many other questions.

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45:56

(17) Let's Talk About Sexual Pleasure

Intimate Judaism ·

2019/12/24

Is sexual pleasure considered an important value in Judaism? What place does sex for pleasure have in a healthy marriage? Join Talli and Scott for a frank and open discussion about these and many other questions.

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53:53

(16) Outercourse, Wasting Seed, and Rabbis in the...

Intimate Judaism ·

2019/11/12

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26:20

(15) Teshuva as a Guide to Repairing our Intimate...

Intimate Judaism ·

2019/10/02

During the month of Tishri, we engage in a process of Tshuva; self-reflection and repentance. Through prayer, we repair our relationships and connect with God, with ourselves, and with those we may have hurt. In this mini episode, join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum as they discuss how the basic elements of the tshuva process can serve as a model for healing and repairing our relationships with ourselves and the significant others in our lives.

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