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PODCAST

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get

comedy

All Episodes

01:14:48

140 - Leading With Whimsy

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/06/25

This week at Camp Shady Birch, we’re taking a wild ride... LITERALLY. Counselor Z discovers a log flume for sale on Facebook Marketplace, and baby that’s just the beginning. Not to be dramatic but we suffered the ultimate bait-and-switch from an oil painting seller who yanked the art right out of our hands. We are thrashing out and lashing out in this episode, yall. And little miss U-Haul? She's in the trash. Bill Nye however... is not ;) Let's get WHIMSICAL! (sung to the tune of Physical by Olivia

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00:28:04

I Slept with My Neighbor… Now My Boyfriend Wants to...

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/06/23

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper whose hot-girl-walk became a neighborhood entanglement, a camper who buried their secret under cinder blocks and prayed it would never be found, and a camper who proved lightning sometimes does strike the same place twice.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! ➜ Go to TropicalSmoothieCafe.com and find a cafe near you. Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror

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01:06:06

139 - We Bought A House And Moved Hundreds of Miles...

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/06/18

Surprise! We bought a house! In this episode, we unpack (emotionally, not physically... we are still avoiding the boxes and Buffy likes to sit on them) the chaotic rollercoaster of home buying. The stress, mama! The Scotch Tape Scam of it all!! Each day, our deep disdain for cheapo house flippers wallows deeper and deeper lol. We also discuss why packing is dreadful and why we’d rather be bald in a suit at a Pitbull concert. Plus, we pay our respects to Mother Ethel Cain. Welcome to our officially

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00:36:04

My Soul Was Left At The Denver Airport - Trail Mix #88

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/06/16

In this episode, we read listener submitted stories about a hot and talent boyfriend whose friends flaked on him, a sneaky camper who found her fiance's secret box, and a camper who took a flight spiritually, emotionally, (and eventually) literally.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! ➜ Go to Zocdoc.com/CAMP to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. ➜ Go to TropicalSmoothieCafe.com and find a cafe near you. Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip,

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01:04:15

138 - We Are The Content We Consume

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/06/11

This week, we’re recapping the chaos that is our current media consumption. From buying a tear stick for attention purposes only to analyzing Hollywood plastic surgery. We also dive into the enigma that is Paul Jonas and try to make sense of it all. Then, we take a nostalgic detour behind the scenes of Clueless and wrap it up with a full breakdown of our incredible experience at Beyoncé’s Cowboy Carter concert. Yeehaw and thank you, Queen B.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Sponsors: ➜ This

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00:36:24

Dental Office Nightmare Employee - Trail Mix #87

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/06/09

In this episode, we read listener submitted stories about some camper work drama that is truly dental damning, a nurse who had a secret she could not hold onto any more, and a cross country camper whose final stretch of open road quickly turned to freak behavior. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! ➜ This episode is sponsored in-part by Topical Smoothie Cafe. ➜ This episode is sponsored in-part by Better Help. ➜ This episode is sponsored in-part by Factor. Check out our website and submit

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01:08:56

137 - Fried Clam Fiasco (with Grace O'Malley)

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/06/04

This week we are joined by comedian, TikTok star, and our hilarious friend Grace O’Malley! Grace spills the tea on her time at acting camp (including a twist she did not see coming). Plus we chat about the Navy boys flooding New York City for Fleet Week, the politics of clam chowder in the Delta Sky Lounge (but never at a concert), and so much more!Get tickets to see Grace O'Malley's Down For Anything Tour Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Sponsors: ➜ This episode is sponsored in-part by

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00:34:37

Pee Mud - Trail Mix #86

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/06/02

In this episode, we read listener submitted stories about a camper falling in love with their straight friend, a girl nearly scalped in her living room, a secret club cover up, and a bonus story about a satanic doll at bible camp. The Book of Annie by Annie Korzen Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! ➜ This episode is sponsored in-part by Topical Smoothie Cafe. ➜ This episode is sponsored in-part by Better Help. ➜ This episode is sponsored in-part by Factor. Check out our website and submit

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00:59:07

136 - Surviving Coach in 34B (Read To Filth By A...

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/05/28

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors: ➜ This episode is sponsored in-part by Tropical Smoothie Cafe. ➜ This episode is sponsored in-part by Progressive Insurance. Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist YouTube Playlist Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at

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00:30:38

I Lied My Way To Become A Child Star - Trail Mix #85

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/05/26

In this episode, we read listener submitted stories about a camper who had the hottest detour of her life, a camper who accidentally became a child prodigy thanks to The Disney Channel, a camper whose first-day-on-the-job jitters cost a $900 fine and almost a stranger's life.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! This episode is sponsored in-part by Topical Smoothie Cafe. Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Camp Songs:

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01:09:16

135 - Flea Market Freaks

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/05/21

In this episode we are yapping all about our day trip to the Brimfield Flea Market! It was a day filled with nunu nana finds, and elite people-watching. Then we dive into the deeply important story of a cat named Tofu who has a real gold tooth, GoDaddy’s undying devotion to Danica Patrick, and the eternal drama of Fleetwood Mac. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Sponsors: ➜ This episode is sponsored in-part by Tropical Smoothie Cafe. This episode is sponsored in-part by Pretty Litter. ➜

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00:30:38

I Hate My Partner's Dog - Trail Mix #84

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/05/19

In this episode, we read listener submitted stories about Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! This episode is sponsored in-part by Topical Smoothie Cafe. Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy

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01:09:22

134 - Karaoke Etiquette (Girl Why Are You Sitting?...

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/05/14

This week we’re belting it out and calling some people out. We kick things off with a passionate discussion about karaoke etiquette: if you’re sitting down while singing or not clapping for others, consider this a THREAT. Counselor Jonathan covers the bizarre tale of a woodpecker terrorizing a Massachusetts town. Counselor Zachariah tells us about a raccoon who got caught on camera with illegal... stuff... you'll have to listen i cant type it out lol. We wrap things up covered in glitter and white

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00:36:12

Insane Water Ski Injection - Trail Mix #83

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/05/12

In this episode, we read listener submitted stories about a camper seeking advice for coworkers who fight and pee everywhere, a lover's confession that hit harder than any first kiss, and a water ski wipe out that turned into an unexpected colon cleanse.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! This episode is sponsored in-part by Better Help. Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist |

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01:09:37

133 - What The F*** is A Crisper Drawer?

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/05/07

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sources: Kaila Imada. “Japan Now Has an Official Hello Kitty Airport.” Time Out Tokyo, Time Out, 15 Apr. 2025. Jordan Valinsky. “Fired Disney Employee Gets 3 Years in Prison for Hacking and Changing Menus” CNN, Cable News Network, 28 Apr. 2025. Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist YouTube Playlist Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at

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00:29:34

I Slept at My IHOP Waiter’s House - Trail Mix #82

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/05/05

In this episode of Trail Mix, we are reading listener submitted stories of a cautionary tale that reminds us that what goes up must come out (and sometimes karma has a copay), a wellness retreat in a hot spring from hell, and two campers who woke up in their iHop waiter's apartment. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! This episode is sponsored in-part by BetterHelp. Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Camp Songs: Spotify

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01:11:34

132 - There's A Snake in My Margarita!

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/04/30

In this week’s episode, we recap our spontaneous day trip to Washington DC and all the unexpected chaos that came with it. We dive into the bizarre story of hundreds of redheads gathering in the Netherlands for a Ginger-only celebration, and we can’t stop thinking about the woman who discovered a snake in her margarita... yes, really.We contemplate using a shrink ray to ride around in a Matchbox car like it’s Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves. Then we get a little philosophical discussing the Butterfly

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00:31:10

Group Freakery - Trail Mix #81

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/04/28

In this episode, we read listener submitted stories about a camper who clocked into her shift as a waitress and clocked out as a murderer, a tale of one camper who thought he picked the perfect hiding spot until he realized he wasn't alone, and a scary story about a camper, her chunky highlights, stinky pits, and roommate who vanished.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! This episode is sponsored in-part by Factor. Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip,

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01:03:19

131 - Uncomfy in the Planet Fitness Locker Room

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/04/23

In this episode, we talk about our mission to become the best hosts in the neighborhood... if only anxiety would stop crashing the party lol. We dive into the Unclaimed Baggage 2025 report, a fascinating and kinda unhinged roundup of the bizarre (yet nunu nana) items people leave behind in lost luggage. Zach covers the story of a man who tracked down his own stolen truck and is now changing careers to become a private detective. Plus, we discuss David Archuleta being a PG-13 hottie, and Beyoncé’s

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00:31:57

Dating Brothers and I Don't Care - Trail Mix #80

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/04/21

In this episode of Trail Mix, the counselors read listener submitted stories about a law student party foul, a nightmare date mix-up, and we wrap things up with two brothers, one camper, and a Lakers game she'll never forget.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors

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