PODCAST

Bad Counsel

Balker Talker Media

The most Outrageous advice podcast you"ve ever heard.

comedy improv

All Episodes

101:11

Tiki Party Prep

Bad Counsel ·

2024/11/29

Sound Bites"I am fucking awesome.""He's a troll.""It's part of the Broadway series.""I have a no Muppets policy.""Athletes die twice.""There's still plenty of time.""I just wear them out.""I'm having a blast in my 50s.""Ben Folds fans are like cultists.""I like all music. It's cool.""What a way to go.""I want to control the music.""I want them to fear they might.""This is called negotiation.""Zero seasickness guarantee.""I think it's probably... douchey.""We can sure try.""Put together like

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98:31

Inglorious (Old) Bastards

Bad Counsel ·

2024/11/21

THE GREEN ACRES EDITION!Sound Bites"I just hate parties.""I want to go higher!""Netflix sucks.""There is no code.""I just shit.""Here, this is gross.""Oh, gross!""Did it smell?""That's nasty!""Get a vasectomy."★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

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96:37

Father-in-Law Sex Ed.

Bad Counsel ·

2024/11/07

Sound Bites"I always wanted to disappear.""I love you and you hate me.""It's creative destruction, right?""Damn it, did you all know that?""How the fuck did I not know that?""You are excellent, buddy.""What the fuck?""That's a long question.""You do not have permission.""That's a friend.""That's it.""You'd like, that's, you know.""That got dark.""That's a positive way to end.""Maybe she did goat yoga.""Just lean into that for sure.""He's just a creep for sure.""Avoid your father-in-law."

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82:57

Dead! Pool 2.0

Bad Counsel ·

2024/10/30

Sound Bites"The second take is always worse than the first.""I had too many notes, that never works for me.""I had a panic attack because I thought I was fucked up.""Ketamine instantly blocked suicidal ideations.""Do you find the death pool appalling?""Wrestling is horrible at this level.""Hilary Duff's baby is gonna be born soon.""That's a fucking huge payout.""It's a dark game. I'm very uncomfortable with it.""We'll do it live!""You're like Icarus, Bert.""There's gonna be a Netflix

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90:32

Triple Dick Dale

Bad Counsel ·

2024/10/24

Sound Bites"We lost power about one o'clock on Wednesday.""It was terrifying.""We were one of the last areas to get power.""How could we survive?""Normal prep, not like doomsday preppers.""It was not pleasant.""Nobody goes to the used record store""I saved a life this weekend""Three days, right?""Mom jokes will always be funny.""Let's talk about dead people.""I'd like to bury my balls in your pocket.""I just wouldn't want like some uptight parent calling.""I definitely didn't want my kids

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95:11

Rolling Cheese

Bad Counsel ·

2024/10/09

Sound Bites"You seem grouchy.""My mom fell getting off of her cruise.""He's doing his best at lowering expectations.""You think because you like ice skating, means you have low T?""I'm never going to amusement park again.""I had a whole plan.""I became very afraid that we were about to crash.""Let's do it again!""It was so traumatic, he had to go."★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

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93:29

Solid Gold Orgy

Bad Counsel ·

2024/09/26

Sound Bites"That looks like my mom.""We think everyone else looks old.""Do we look like that?""I think wives can be stolen.""Are you allowed to take life insurance out on somebody?""We could all kick in 100 bucks and submit five names.""That's love, man, right there.""I can't wait to hear all about it.""No one likes the AI voices."★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

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108:07

Piss Coffee Candles

Bad Counsel ·

2024/09/18

Sound Bites"It's just in time, man.""I see robots all the time now.""I was in England where it rained.""That's probably why I only did it for about six months.""I bet you're in fucking great shape.""This is how I imagine it in my head.""I regret that day.""You probably, so you would go back.""Don't be a dick about it."★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

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93:00

Smelly Balls

Bad Counsel ·

2024/09/04

Sound Bites"Well, I don't know if this was fun, but I kind of wanted to, actually I'll wait. I have a story I want to share with everybody. I want to brag a little bit. I want to brag a little, so I'll wait.""I went grocery shopping today and as I'm putting my stuff out of the cart onto the belt for the cashier to ring it up, a woman pulls in behind me on her cart and she's probably, you know, late 30s, early 40s. She starts giggling. I look up, she goes, my God, I'm sorry, but you are so

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93:47

Weed Sperm

Bad Counsel ·

2024/08/30

Sound Bites"Kids home.""It reduces the bandwidth actually when they're when they're home.""The only problem is she's so into Jesus, like Michelle has to go up to the pool with her and hear about Jesus the whole time.""Did you get the drugs?""You're all invited to the boat party""Are you excited that this guy Joe wants to come?""Weed sperm.""Yeah, she used to stick up the whole condo making can of butter.""He gets worried when I say a nice, sincere thing.""I apologize, goose. I apologize.""I

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80:33

Dancing for Gold

Bad Counsel ·

2024/08/22

Sound Bites"I had no idea, right? Because that's all I wanted.""Well, no, but after you date for a while and you figure out that they're cool, like, you know what I mean?""He's a check down machine.""My new passion is watching strangers listen to Rush for the first time""For some reason, seeing these people discovering this band that I've loved all my life and really appreciating them, because that's part of the fun is that they really respect their musicianship and they're

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109:49

Don't Judge Me!

Bad Counsel ·

2024/08/15

Sound Bites"I love that feeling""I voice record what I'm thinking""Getting a second dog may indicate potential relationship issues""Mmm, nice slow ghost.""How much does Tammy like them or the woman? Is she gonna miss the relationship or is she like, yeah, that's cool, we don't have to see them as much?""He actually has my secondary range finder.""Now it's dead. Yeah.""A rope around its neck.""Oh, yeah, at least it wasn't in a pot.""Trying to poke her, buddy. That's it. That's the only hole

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94:37

Just The Tip, Please

Bad Counsel ·

2024/08/08

Sound Bites"So for two days between the hours of eight and four thirty, no one in the building can flush their toilets.""How many residents did you have to get this notice to?""I'm gonna burn the whole day""It was all couples.""Was it sexy enough that when you got home that night you could recall specific scenes and use that as your masturbatory material?""I'm going to see limp biscuit.""You stop laughing. You stop laughing.""Whatever it is. Whatever. I love you, though, man. I do love you

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93:29

Slapping It Behind The Wheel

Bad Counsel ·

2024/07/31

Sound Bites"I'm not interested. Oh, it's a pagan set. I love""So I got to get the Penguin Cinco de Mayo shirt or the St. Patrick's Day t-shirt. Those are always good.""Well, sorry Tim. I guess I'm a flawed person.""I cannot fucking believe it. Like after watching him like roll a fucking car and then being upside down, I'm sure that fucking kid's gonna be sore as hell today or yesterday.""Upside down you turn me""Oh my God.""That guy's a fucking genius.""Your parallel parking. Ooh, that's a

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83:27

Kissing Cousins

Bad Counsel ·

2024/07/25

Sound Bites"Like have you guys ever been roped into an old timey photograph?""There's nothing worse than kids, hockey fucking uniforms, man.""I feel like I stink more now than I did when I was a younger man.""Oh, they're gonna start carrying man.""Yeah, I shake till I cum.""Actually, actually this whole this whole week I've had great one of Greg's songs from Winston the musical stuck in my It's the underpants song gets really in my head, what would they say about my underpants?""Oh, no, no

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91:52

The Price of Victory

Bad Counsel ·

2024/07/15

Sound Bites"I wish I was nerdy about one thing and one thing only""I like being more of a generalist""I couldn't think of a single thing that I feel like I could do it justice to evaluate""Yeah, there's a lot of celebrity deaths. Yeah, fourth. And you know what? Somebody you didn't even suspect, somebody young relatively speaking. Yeah.""Oh yeah. Well I liked her and she had a little bit part in Annie Hall too that I liked. She played a kind of a vacuous model that Woody Allen was dating

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100:05

Bro Code Blackmail

Bad Counsel ·

2024/07/11

Sound Bites"The Indians saved their ass so many times""The Native Americans saved them""The connection between the Indian Wars and Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam""Replace truth for fiction for truth.""I hope that I'm making you feel obligated to invite us in the future""We're like old bandmates who get that we're kind of inextricably linked together""Seriously though, I have two friends that I've been friends with since the ninth grade. We're so close that a lot of our friends refer to us as Moe,

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88:29

The Masturbation Fairy

Bad Counsel ·

2024/07/02

Sound Bites"That is a bad day. That is a bad day.""I've been in many of those little convenience stores and gas stations.""I can shut up, but it's it's it's not it's like it's still more difficult to close.""We're gonna bring a bunch of edibles to Pittsburgh Bird, so that'll be fun.""Is it reciprocal? Like if you've got a medical card from Florida, is it?""Jessica Rabbit was hot. I don't care in any way.""You're not winning the over 50 with a GoPro on your head, Greg. You gotta just...""You

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112:11

Wet Diapers and Regret

Bad Counsel ·

2024/06/25

Keywordslightning strike, damage, Hitachi vibrators, finding parents' adult materials, comedy show, judges, closing of a bar, working in the restaurant industry, attraction, relationships, adolescence, adulthood, waitresses, hope, dreams, high school, crushes, cool kids, reunions, misadventures, eccentricities, balconies, fear of heights, rock climbing, weight loss, conversation, action figures, accessories, humor, interchangeable eyebrows, bottomless gummy pouch, stripper pole,

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93:55

The Slabjacker

Bad Counsel ·

2024/06/19

We were down a member tonight, but the four of us soldiered on....★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

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