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PODCAST

THE QUACK

The Quack is a comedy blog and podcast featuring real-life facepalm moments & muddled observations told by British contemporary fiction author Mary Newnham. Visit TheQuack.blog. Follow Mary on @marynewnhamwrites.

society & culture personal journals

All Episodes

10:06

WHAT'S A SACK? AND OTHER QUESTIONS ABOUT THE NFL.

THE QUACK ·

2024/10/09

"And WHO is that beautiful bald man with the gigantic headset?" This week, my friend, Sian and I went to watch Minnesota Vikings vs. New York Jets. We were left with a lot of questions, and a small crush. 🏈 Skip Intro 2:31 Music and SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.Blog

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08:59

MY DREAM PUB - THE KING'S KNEES.

THE QUACK ·

2024/10/02

The snacks are NOT deep-fried pig skin with the hair still on.A quick look into what I would change about the Great British pub. Skip Intro | 2:12 Music and SFX | Soundstripe.com Visit The Quack | TheQuack.blog.

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08:36

SURVIVING FILM SCHOOL

THE QUACK ·

2024/09/25

"In hindsight, it would have been easier if I had just smoked pot." In 2010, I went from catholic school to film school. These are the six survival tips I learnt whilst I was there. Skip Intro: 2:14 Soundtrack and Sound Effects | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.Blog

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09:14

THE AWKWARD LIFE OF A PEOPLE-...

THE QUACK ·

2024/09/18

"No meat, no fish, no eggs, no dairy…. and no friends..."The awkward date chats and funny restaurant scenarios, when you're a people-pleasing-plant-based-person. Skip into (2:12) Read | TheQuack.Blog Music and soundtrack credit | Soundstripe.com

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08:21

THIRTY-THREE

THE QUACK ·

2024/09/11

"What is that strange ticking noise?"The week I turned thirty-three—A Barbie nightmare, a hot tub chat. beans, and forcing my friends to wear crowns. Skip Introduction (2:00) Soundtrack and sound effects - Soundstripe.com

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10:40

WHEN YOUR GIRL LEAVES YOU ON THE SHELF.

THE QUACK ·

2024/09/04

You sit on the edge of the shelf waiting for Helen to return….A muddled observation about when your friend falls in love and leaves you on the shelf. (Skip me babbling on. 3:28) Soundtrack and sound effects: Soundstripe.com Visit www.TheQuack.blog

en

08:49

THE NOT-SO-WHOLESOME CALIFORNIAN HOLIDAY.

THE QUACK ·

2024/08/28

"All we needed was for one of us to know how to play acoustic guitar and for Dad to tell stories about what it means to be a man… " Skip Intro/Me talking about a UFO sighting. (2:40) Twenty years ago, Mum booked a Californian ranch in an attempt to make us more wholesome....but it didn't quite work out. 🍪 Sound Credit: Soundstripe.com

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11:53

I CAN'T CALM DOWN - IT'S TAYLOR SWIFT!

THE QUACK ·

2024/08/21

"The stadium was full of 91,998 screaming Swifties, plus Amy and Hermione."A facepalm moment about the time I went to the Taylor Swift concert, with my non-swiftie friends. SKIP INTRO 4:00 Soundtrack and sound effects | www.soundstripe.com Visit www.TheQuack.blog

en

08:44

CARROT, MY HALF A LIFETIME FRIEND.

THE QUACK ·

2024/08/14

As we walked out of the garage beneath the starry autumn night, I began to think of what to say when Carrot confessed his love to me. 🥕❤️A story about a friendship that began half a lifetime ago when Carrot had something to say. Includes a great escape. Skip introduction: 2:12 Music/Sound Effects: Soundstripe.com

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10:43

THE PERFECT MEET-CUTE: FINDING LOVE ON A BUS.

THE QUACK ·

2024/08/07

There is something about meeting someone in transit...Stories about finding near-love on transport, featuring the true story of when Sausage met a man on a bus from D.C. to NYC, and when I shared a taxi with a stranger. (You can play a drinking game with the amount of times I say, 'meet cute'). SKIP INTRODUCTION: 2:26 Music and sound effects | Soundstripe.com Visit | TheQuack.blog Email | Mary@thequack.blog

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09:47

THE TIME I SUNG A DUCK SONG TO JUSTIN ROSE, AND OTHER...

THE QUACK ·

2024/07/31

"The husband looked like a friendly neighbour - the type of man who would rigorously hoover his car mats on a Sunday morning...."Three embarrassing encounters with some of the greatest sportsmen; George Best, Lawrence Dallaglio, and Justin Rose. SKIP INTRO: 1:45 Soundtrack and Sound Effects: Soundstripe.com Visit the blog: THEQUACK.BLOG

en

08:39

HERE'S TO ME, MRS. ROBINSON: IS AGE JUST A NUMBER?

THE QUACK ·

2024/07/24

“I’m very into mature women,” he said. I looked behind one shoulder, and then the other, and realised he was talking about me.The night I realised I was seen as a 'mature woman', and a muddled observation about age gaps in relationships. SKIP INTRO: 2:38. Soundtrack and sound effects: Soundstripe.com Visit THEQUACK.BLOG.

en

08:08

SHOULD MEN PAY FOR THE FIRST DATE?

THE QUACK ·

2024/07/22

"The bill was placed between us and the dance began..."This is a muddled observation about one of the most controversial topics in dating. Email me what your thoughts.... mary@thequack.blog Music and sound effects: Soundstripe.com.

en

09:48

THE EURO FINAL: THE MUSICAL

THE QUACK ·

2024/07/17

...A fan would whack the table in a rhythm, prompting everyone to shout ‘ENGLAND!’ It wasn't exactly Les Misérables, but it did the job.If the day of the Euro Final was a musical... SKIP INTRO: 2:07 Song credits: www.Soundstripe.com

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07:37

WOULD YOU DATE YOU?

THE QUACK ·

2024/07/15

We have a list of what we’re looking for, but is anyone looking for us?Another muddled observation by Mary about dating. (SKIP INTRO 2:12)

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08:43

BOOBS.

THE QUACK ·

2024/07/10

"And perhaps I’m overthinking it, but they seem to stare off in different directions, like the eyes of the Cookie Monster...."A quick look into boobs; the first bra and beyond. SKIP INTRO 2:40 -------------------------------------- Music and sound effects - www.Soundstripe.com

en

08:54

THE STORY OF MATHS AND ME.

THE QUACK ·

2024/07/08

"It was there in that terrapin building with Mr. Marcus and his good hair, that I realised that I hated maths and was also not very good at it."A quick look into my horrid and relatable journey of everyone's least favorite subject - mathematics.

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10:02

32 YEARS OF HURT: LIVING WITH FOOTBALL.

THE QUACK ·

2024/07/03

"All I want to do is get rid of the ball, so I can go home and resume Polly’s pool party in Polly Pocket land."A witty observation about living with a football-obsessed family, in a football-obsessed land. (SKIP INTRO 2:29)

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08:34

WHAT'S YOUR WILD STORY?

THE QUACK ·

2024/07/01

"We all need to arm ourselves with at least one crazy life story..." An observation about the need to have a wild story to tell... SKIP INTRO 2:21.

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08:34

#LIVINGYOURBESTLIFE? WHAT I LEARNT WHEN I MOVED TO...

THE QUACK ·

2024/06/26

"The problem with moving to Australia was that I had to bring myself with me."The story of when I moved to Australia and the vital life lessons I learnt. Skip Intro 2:44

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90 results

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