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PODCAST

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

54:43

EPISODE 202: Am I being defensive, or am I defending...

Pillow Talks ·

2025/04/03

We’ve all had that moment — your partner brings something up, and suddenly you’re snapping back with a list of everything they did wrong. But wait… is that defensiveness, or are you just defending yourself?This week, we’re diving into one of the trickiest relationship dynamics out there: defensiveness. And we’re not just talking about it — we’re unpacking real, raw stories straight from you. From sex drive mismatches to mental load meltdowns, parenting disagreements to pasta-water disputes (yep,

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63:46

EPISODE 201: Couples Coaching Session: They Love Each...

Pillow Talks ·

2025/03/27

🎙️ Welcome to our very first coaching episode!Ever feel stuck in your sex life — like you know things could be better but have no idea how to fix them? That’s exactly where today’s couple is. In this special, brand-new format, we’re coaching a real life couple, and diving deep into mismatched desire, stress, and the invisible walls keeping them from a more connected, fulfilling sex life. We break down: 💬 When one partner feels standoffish about sex – What’s really behind the hesitation? ⚖️

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74:44

EPISODE 200: 200 Episodes Later: Let’s Get Personal!...

Pillow Talks ·

2025/03/20

🎉 We made it to 200 episodes! 🎉It’s wild to think about how far this podcast has come. There’s one thing we know for sure… we couldn’t have come this far without YOU. That’s why for this very special episode, we decided to celebrate by letting you ask us… …absolutely ANYTHING. And you didn’t disappoint. From personal confessions to relationship deep dives to behind-the-scenes business secrets, no topic was off-limits. Tune in for an unfiltered, hilarious, and heartfelt conversation where we

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61:52

EPISODE 199: Am I The Asshole? Masturbation,...

Pillow Talks ·

2025/03/13

We’re back with a fan-favorite series—Am I The Asshole? 🎉 You know we love diving into the wildest relationship dilemmas, and today’s lineup is extra spicy.We’re tackling situations that might hit way too close to home, like: 🚨 Masturbating - do you have to tell your partner every time? 🚨 Journaling about a past relationship—cheating or harmless? 🚨 Going through a partner’s phone (they found what?? 👀) 🚨 A partner picking up an annoying new voice… and refusing to drop it Sounds messy,

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54:58

EPISODE 198: Stop Doing THIS If You Want More Sex...

Pillow Talks ·

2025/03/06

Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating—but let’s be real… for most couples, it’s anything but smooth. Whether you're feeling stuck, rejected, or just plain awkward when it comes to getting things started in the bedroom, today’s episode is here to help! We surveyed our audience, and only 17% of people said they’re happy with how initiation is going in their relationship. That means a lot of us are struggling with: 🚨 Feeling like one partner is always

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64:38

EPISODE 197: Ask A Sex Therapist - Resentment, Sexual...

Pillow Talks ·

2025/02/27

Ever wish you had a sex therapist on speed dial? We get so many questions every week (because you guys are THE BEST) that we just can’t get to them all—so today, we’re dedicating an entire episode to answering your biggest intimacy and relationship dilemmas.From navigating mismatched libidos to handling awkward bedroom moments, we’re here to break it all down with practical, shame-free advice. In This Episode, We Cover: 💬 How to address it when your partner gropes you in their sleep 🧼

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60:32

EPISODE 196: 90 Prompts to Transform Your Sex Life...

Pillow Talks ·

2025/02/20

🔥 Let’s talk about sex—but let’s make it fun, flirty, and way less awkward. In this episode, we’re telling you about 90 spicy prompts designed to get you talking, laughing, and maybe even blushing with your partner.We’ll be pulling cards from our brand-spankin-new Sex Talks Card Deck and answering them live, sharing our hottest takes, and reading some intriguing responses from our Instagram community. Some of these questions will have you reminiscing, some will have you dreaming up new

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66:25

Episode 195: Giddyup, Cowgirl! Tips, Tricks, &...

Pillow Talks ·

2025/02/13

Cowgirl is one of the most empowering positions in the bedroom—so why do so many of us avoid it? 🤠 If you’ve ever felt awkward, unsure, or just plain tired when trying Cowgirl, this episode is for you!We’re breaking down everything you need to know to master this position with confidence—from why it’s one of the best for pleasure to how to move in a way that feels amazing (and doesn’t leave your thighs burning after 30 seconds). Get ready for expert-backed tips, tricks, and techniques that’ll

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73:13

Episode 194: What Your Partner Wishes You’d Stop...

Pillow Talks ·

2025/02/06

Have you ever wondered if there’s something you do in the bedroom that your partner secretly (or not-so-secretly) wishes you’d stop doing? Well, you’re not alone.A while back, we asked our audience this very question, and the responses came flooding in. So many, in fact, that we had to bring this topic back for Part 2! In today’s episode, we’re diving into the most common complaints from partners about what they wish their significant other would stop doing in the bedroom. We’re covering

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68:30

Episode 193: The Things We Can’t Say In The Comments

Pillow Talks ·

2025/01/30

Ever wonder what we really want to say when someone leaves a spicy comment on one of our social media posts? Well, you’re in for a treat.Social media has been an incredible way to connect with our community, share free resources, and help couples build their best relationships. But putting ourselves out there also means we encounter some… interesting feedback. In this episode, we’re diving into the comment sections of our most viral posts. From debates about quickie intimacy to whether or not you

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51:26

Episode 192: “Is This Normal?” Part 4 — Low Desire...

Pillow Talks ·

2025/01/23

We’re diving into part 4 of one of our favorite series, “Is This Normal?”We’ll be exploring topics like: Is it normal for my husband to have absolutely no sex drive? Is it normal to never have fought? Is it normal for my partner to talk in a baby voice and for it to turn me off? And even more of your questions! This episode is packed with real talk, judgment-free advice, and practical tips to help you navigate these tricky (and sometimes awkward!) situations. Links & Resources: Reignite your

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64:29

Episode 191: Breaking Free From Purity Culture And...

Pillow Talks ·

2025/01/16

If you were raised in Purity Culture, you already know how challenging it can be to overcome now that you’re an adult. You spent years being taught that it’s important for you to be wholesome, that pleasure is sinful, and that there are very specific rules you need to follow.In this episode, we’re sharing stories from people who were raised in Purity Culture, and giving you step-by-step tips for overcoming shame. Links and Resources: Reignite your love life in just 7 days? ➡︎

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56:55

Episode 190: Am I Being Reasonable Or Ridiculous?

Pillow Talks ·

2025/01/09

Have you ever wanted something from your partner, but found yourself wondering, “Am I asking too much?” Or has your partner ever asked you for something that didn’t feel reasonable to you?We asked our community to share some of their questionable relationship requests, and the responses were fascinating! Tune in as we break down the line between what’s reasonable, what’s ridiculous, and what’s simply part of being in a relationship. Links & Resources: Your Best Week Ever is designed to give the

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53:35

Episode 189: Can We Have A Fresh Start? Or Is It Too...

Pillow Talks ·

2025/01/02

It’s officially 2025 and you might be feeling like your relationship could use a fresh start.We asked our Instagram audience if they’ve ever wished for a fresh start in their relationship—and the responses came pouring in! We’re reading through your submissions, sharing our thoughts, and offering practical advice for anyone looking to refresh their connection with their partner. Whether you’re dealing with intimacy, post-pregnancy, or even income issues, we’ve got you covered with tips to help you

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46:52

Episode 188: Is Your Ultimatum Going To Work?

Pillow Talks ·

2024/12/26

We were feeling inspired… The Ultimatum is back on Netflix, and it was wild. It left us wondering if our own audience has ever given (or been given) a relationship ultimatum, so we asked!In this episode, we’re breaking down your ultimatums and sharing our opinions and advice. If you’ve ever considered giving an ultimatum - or if you’re just curious about the ones other people have issued - this is a must-listen! Links & Resources: Reignite your love life in just 7 days? ➡︎

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68:03

Episode 187: Am I The Asshole? The Holiday Edition...

Pillow Talks ·

2024/12/19

Tis the Season for DRAMA!We’re so excited to bring you another hilarious “Am I The Asshole?” episode this week. In the theme of the season, we’re doing another holiday edition. We’re talking about affairs, secret Santa mishaps, and a disastrous salmon situation. Get ready to grab your coziest blanket and cup of cocoa for this new episode of one of our favorite series! Links & Resources: Join our VIP email list Follow us on Instagram If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your

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59:14

Episode 186: Period Sex, Internal Vs External...

Pillow Talks ·

2024/12/12

There are a ton of topics we want to cover on this podcast, but sometimes we just don’t have enough material to make a full hour-long episode for each one. So we’re trying something new to give you our hottest takes and tips… a multi-topic episode!Today we’re talking about being non-hetero in a male-female relationship, period sex, and internal versus external processors. Think of this episode like a podcast tossed salad and get ready to dive in. Links & Resources: Join our VIP email list Follow us

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56:33

Episode 185: How To Navigate Porn In Your Relationship

Pillow Talks ·

2024/12/05

Today we’re tackling one of the trickiest and most controversial topics we get asked about - porn.Is it OK to watch porn even if you’re in a relationship? Can it become addicting? Can you forbid your partner from watching it? In this episode we cover how porn affects you personally, pros and cons to bringing porn into your relationship, and what to do if you and your partner disagree. This is a topic that every couple needs to talk about in their relationship, so use this episode to open up a

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54:17

Episode 184: How To Get More Physical Intimacy From...

Pillow Talks ·

2024/11/27

Do you want more physical intimacy in your relationship? In this episode, we’re talking about different kinds of physical intimacy, why it’s so important, how to ask your partner for more, and what to do if you’re worried they won’t understand.Links & Resources: Challenge: Sweet Or Spicy If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed

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55:09

Episode 183: How To Get More Emotional Intimacy From...

Pillow Talks ·

2024/11/21

Do you want more emotional intimacy in your relationship? In today’s episode, we’re covering what emotional intimacy actually is, how to get more of it in your relationship, and even what to do if your partner doesn’t understand what you want. Links & Resources: Challenge: Sweet Or Spicy If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed

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