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PODCAST

Functional Chaos Podcast

Dev, Jade, and Kali

Just 3 unhinged goofballs doing the best we can to host a podcast! Life is way too unforgiving to be so judgmental and serious. We want to create an atmosphere like, girls night in! A space to talk about things that matter, while also bullsh*tting about thing that don’t!

comedy

All Episodes

01:14:54

Ep. 48 Zombie Eye Lid | Vision & Vaginas

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/11/27

Hey Baddies!! Welcome to the Sh*t show!🤪😁 Week 3 of no Dev!!!! I know this might seem like some kind of beautiful tea, but we promise it’s not. Dev is getting hit with the sick stick so hard this season! Hopefully this is the last week we shall deprive you of your weekly dose of Dev!🖤 We also have to apologize if the audio is again a little shawty this week. We tried some new microphones that seemed to work most of the time; but as is the theme, there’s always gonna be some weird mic moment

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01:09:30

Ep. 47 Yacht Club Ross Girl | UNBELIEVABLE FACTS

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/11/20

Goooood Chaotic Monday!🖤 Welcome to another episode of just Jade and Kali because Devy Dew is still very much sick! She is really getting hounded by the season sickness monster! BUT, the show must go on, or whatever they say! While following the newly adopted, random topic system, we talk about what it’s like to truly not know who you are or what it’s like to have your own made confidence. If you’ve ever felt this way before, just know that you are definitely not alone in this fam bam ma’am! Our

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01:06:14

Ep. 46 Why Is There A Spoon In The Bathroom? | THINGY...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/11/06

Hey beautiful handsome glorious besties!! Welcome to another week packed of chaos and talking about things and stuff and more thinnnnggggs! Unfortunately, Dev is fulfilling her turn in having the ick, because it’s just Jade and I this week😅🥺. The show will forever go on!! Making our way down the alphabet, this episode is all about THINGS! Bringing a few bullet pointed things we’ve heard or learned. Pandemic Skip, spoons in bathrooms, poop knives, SKIMS new nipple bra! Honestly, it’s more like

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01:33:55

Ep. 45 Does That Not Normal? | SPOOKY SH*T

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/10/30

Wow Bestie! We made it another week, to another chaotic episode with your favorite, barely functioning, podcasters! And to our new listeners! HEEEYYYY! This week there is only ⅔ of the chaos, cause Jadey Bean is at home being a sick bean 😢! So you’re stuck with just Dev and Kali for our Halloween, not-so extravaganza. But hopefully we can do the episode justice as we talk about some spooky shit bitch! Some things during spoopy season, some things that are scary about being a woman, tales you may

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01:55:54

Ep. 44 They Probably Thought You Kilt Someone |...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/10/23

Wholly-Molly-Canolly Jade is a married woman y’all! And Welcome to another episode Functional Chaos or whatever this Podcast is. 😂 On today's episode we reminisce about Jade’s gorgeous wedding. There are some things that will be revealed to her during the behind the scenes of getting everything ready. There’s sweetness, laughs, and of course chaos! Don’t worry your pretty little heads we also cover Jade’s romantic honeymoon with her new hooman she calls Hubs. Please note that we do not say her

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01:03:08

Ep. 43 I’m The Biggest Errand Hype Man - Q&A

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/10/09

What a wonderful chaotic Monday to spend with your new Podcast Besties! Things might seem a bit different this week, cause for the first time Kali is not joining us! She’s on vacation with her hubby for their 2 year wedding anniversary! Now you may notice we are not mentioning anything about Jade’s wedding that happened last week 🤭.Well,l that’s because at the time of this recording was before her wedding! Don’t worry though, we won’t leave you hanging. Our next episode will be a full telling of

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00:54:55

Ep. 42 Jade Proposed To A Stranger - Parties...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/10/02

Happy October Chaotic Besties!! Guess what!!! Jade’s getting married this week!! We are all going to puke and piss and shit😂🙃! In honor of this incredible time in life, we’re gonna talk about her Bachelorette party! We had such a bitchin’ time, from Kali’s house of games to skrippers, to dancing, to someone literally throwing F I R E C R A C K E R S at us! Just wait till you hear the night in its entirety! It’s another short episode this week due to needing to take it easy so the bride can be as

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00:49:07

Ep. 41 Portland is Fine, But You Might Have...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/09/25

Happy Chaotic Monday Besties!!!! We need to start by announcing that the next 3-4 weeks will be a little different from what you’re used to. First we won’t be in-studio again for 2 weeks, so we’re gonna be all cuddled up on Kali’s bed. Although the audio and visual might be dicey on this episode due to some technical errors. Then Kali will be out of town and there will be an episode with Dev & Jade! 🤭🖤So please bare with us and apologies if there are any inconveniences with this episode, we

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01:15:47

Ep. 40 Why Am I Here When Something Dies - Nerdy...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/09/18

Welcome Back Besties to another week of Functional Chaos!! First, I need to put out an apology for all visual listeners! We had an unforeseen malfunction with our camera this week and we didn’t realize it till we were at the very end of the episode and we are so sorry! We understand that many of our listeners benefit from a visual set us and need to apologies for any and all inconveniences this may cause. 🥺 Unfortunately, one of us was unable to be here this week due to a family emergency. We miss

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01:15:25

Ep. 39 ONE YEAR-AVERSARY!! - Mermaids

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/09/11

Heyyy Besties!! It’s been a whole year of Functional Chaos!! We started as 3 co-workers wanting to create an escape from the mundane and sad of life and be silly! It’s turned into a bigger vision with much more amazing people that joined the fam!! Thank you so much from us to all our OG listeners and all the new ones for sticking with us through the year and can’t wait to continue bringing wacky, weird, and unhinged chaos in our next chapter! This week we talk about Mermaids! Because who never

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01:40:09

Ep. 38 Menty B's - Language, Lucifer, & Let's Be Honest

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/09/04

Ep. 38 - Language, Lucifer, & Let's Be Honest POW! Just like that it’s another whole new week of chaos! Jade starts us off by talking about Languages, but she doesn’t talk about specific dialects but does show us how similar languages can be! Kali, is second in race today with talking about Lucifer. Everyone has heard the story of Lucifer but did you know that each person might have a different belief when it comes to him as a being? Dev is going to finish us off with a little game of,

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01:14:25

Ep. 37 Teeth Bumper - Kissing

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/08/28

Back at it again with another episode outside the studio and in Kali’s bedroom. Not the most glamorous set up but a very comfy one for sure. Or if you asked Dev she might say otherwise. We know the audio isn’t the quality your used to from us, we just hope our chaotic personalities make up for it!🙃 We tell personal stories all about Kissing! Some stories are hilarious, some are aggressive, some are amazing, and others are the ones Kali tells 😅. Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and

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01:17:57

Ep. 36 We Just Sit Here & Laugh at Nothing - Jiminy...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/08/21

New week and another chaotic episode brought to you by the letter J! Dev, reluctantly, tells us fun facts about Jiminy Cricket. It’s probably the one topic that made us laugh the most for literally no reason… so enjoy that 😅! Jade tells us about the holidays in January. We can all agree that the best day in January is the 17th! Kali finishes the episode off with an informative presentation on jiggle physics and what that means. I promise it’s a little different than you think. As always, we would

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01:03:42

Ep. 35 Instead of 'Icks' it's 'Thicks' - Icks

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/08/14

Hello Beautifulicious Besties! This week is a topic that start with the letter I, and boy did we pick a good one 😂! Wow this week us chaotic c*nts bring you our icks in a game of, Whose Ick is This? We Yeah added a little twist this week (on accident). Karl, Kali’s little sis, was planned to be on this episode, but was unable to make it; however, she did add her icks to the mix and we’ll be guessing which are hers as well. All while Karl is not able to defend hers 😂. We also are still not in our

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01:05:28

Ep. 34 What Do You Mean? - Hemorrhoids, Hangry, & High

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/08/07

Heyyyy Besties!!! Hope your week is starting off STUPENTASTIC! Your three favorite chaotic gals bring you another week of more useless things to think about! We also need to apologize if anyone has trouble with the audio and/or video as we had to use our OG microphone and old “studio” (Kali’s Bed) from our first episode! We’re sooo fucking sorry if it causes any inconveniences as we want to always bring accessible and hilarious quality content every week. So hopefully our personalities will carry

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01:08:23

Ep. 33 Lying Gives Me Butt Sweats - Gross Standards

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/08/05

Hello big, beautiful, chaotic world and hello BESTIES!!! Welcome to another week of your 3 local goblins trying to host a podcast. This week our group topic is brought to you by the letter G, for Gross Standards. One by one we share some standards in society that we find gross as hell. Ick fest central! We wanna know what you think and if you agree with our gross standards. Or comment a gross standard that wasn’t mentioned. This was a lot of fun and we want to have another episode of dismantling

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01:22:35

Ep. 32 Jade's Fat Piss - Farts & Findom

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/08/05

Welcome to another week with our antics, even though one of us was too ill to be in this episode! We missed you this week Jade!! Hope you feel better soon love bug!! This week Kali starts us out with giving us weird questions and their answers about Farts on Google! Let’s just say you will definitely learn something or two and laugh even more! Dev captivates us with a dive into the new TikTok buzzword, Findom! There are more stereotypes than expected and gives us a new perspective on the whole

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00:57:25

Ep. 31 Daddy Chill - Emoji's

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/07/17

It’s Monday! Which means we have a new episode full of new discussions and chaos! This week we explore the world of emoji’s and play a little game of guess what that means! We each came up with 5 different sequences of emoji’s that the other two gals will have to guess the word or phrase the sequence is displaying! We learn very quickly that we might not all share the same thinking styles so it was a little difficult. But some of these are so clever! This will definitely be a repeated segment! We

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01:52:08

Ep. 30 We're C**t, You're B**ch - Dissociation,...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/07/10

Welcome Girlypops! To another episode of your favorite chaotic queens trying to host a podcast. We do have to put a trigger warning on this episode because there are mentions of self-harm, suicide, and eating disorders. The mentions of these sensitive subjects isn’t far in depth or detailed. It is mentioned and kind of “joked” about in a sense that we make light of it because it is so heavy to talk about. We always encourage that you take care of yourself first so if you get to the portion where

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01:15:31

Ep. 29 Yawn Again I'll Give You $100! - Customer...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2023/07/03

We have another week of the most unhinged gals on the internet! Although Dev tries to fall asleep a few times! *Apologies for so many yawn sounds*! That is until Jade sets her straight a few times! The sass is never ending on set this week. What's better than sitting with your favorite gals pals and discussing the shit customer stories they've experienced in life!? Emphasis on the SHIT portion of that statement cause it happens way more often than you think! We would love to hear your own

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