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PODCAST

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos

On this podcast, I share openly and freely of how I continue to move forward with my own traumatized nervous system, anxiety, OCD, disability and all the complexity of living as a highly sensitive person in a world that’s scared to feel. So, grab a cozy blanket, maybe a cup of your favorite tea, and here’s to embracing the chaos, creating our calm, and discovering the magic in between.

self-improvement self-improvement

All Episodes

12:23

How to let go of control (especially when it scares...

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/06/11

Letting go of control isn’t easy for me. And the idea of “surrendering” and “trusting” in some all-knowing being - forget about it.But, I’ve learned a way that works for me, my traumatized nervous system, and my highly sensitive nature. If I can learn how to let go of control and surrender, I know you can too. We just have to start in the right place.

13:08

This is so much more effective than willpower and...

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/06/04

What's the secret to making changes that last? Is it willpower? Is it discipline? Is it committment? Maybe. But in my experience the winning factor was actually something else entirely.

13:47

Moral distress, climate change and hummingbirds

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/05/28

I’ve been feeling a lot of moral distress lately with the state of the world, politically, environmentally, humanitarianly, conflict, war, genocide. It’s feeling very overwhelming for me as a highly sensitive person. I think it’s feeling like too much for most of us, really.My biggest source of moral distress, though, is that I can do my part to make a difference, but in the context of these bigger scenarios, I know it’s not going to be enough. So where do we go and what

9:14

Meditation for High Achievers

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/05/21

Meditation is tough, especially when you’re a high achiever.There, I said it. I’ve been practicing meditation for almost 20 years and it’s still wickedly hard for me to do. Between: my busy high achieving brain thinking all the things at once the wild intrusive thoughts from my OCD my generalized anxiety about life, the universe and everything my phone and watch receiving notifications throughout the day our one cat either having the zoomies and making all kinds of

9:27

Why I don't do a daily gratitude practice (and what I...

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/05/14

Objectivity is a core value of mine, so maybe that’s also a reason why I don’t resonate with the typical daily gratitude practice. To me it just seems too forced, too focused on finding a silver lining - which often discounts the struggles we may be facing. Like so many things in life, it’s a balance, and figuring out how to find that balance is what I want to talk about.

10:30

Dealing With Frustration: Lessons from a highly...

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/05/07

By now, you’ll know that I’m a highly sensitive person and a crier. I’ve always been quick to cry, especially when I’m frustrated. One of my core values is persistence, so I don’t know how to give up. I think I struggle with dealing with frustration because it feels like I’m failing. Like letting something else win. Not that I’m an overly competitive person. But if something stops me from achieving something I want to do - it’s now my enemy. And I need

9:24

Burnout is not a stress management problem

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/05/02

When I first learned about burnout I heard it was a stress management problem. Essentially it was too much stress and not enough coping strategies to deal with all that stress.But after my own epic burnout experience, I realized that way of perceiving burnout was wrong. The truth is, burnout is not a stress management problem. It’s an energy management problem.

9:47

The Two Types of Self-Care

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/04/25

I wish I could meet the person who first said that you need 30 minutes per day of self-care so that I could shake them and ask “why????”. Finding a solid 30 minutes to dedicate to yourself is pretty difficult, especially in the lives of highly sensitive high achievers, am I right? Plus, not all self-care is made equal, and there are some things we think are self-care, but are actually not. Let’s talk about it.

14:34

Trauma Informed Vulnerability

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/04/18

I’ve come to the conclusion that the typical discussion around vulnerability isn’t actually trauma informed or inclusive, and I think that needs to change.

11:51

Why one-size-fits-all approaches to wellness may not...

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/04/11

When you think of meditation, you likely think about someone sitting down on the floor, legs crossed, eyes closed, hands resting on their knees, breathing deeply and looking calm and relaxed. But what if meditation didn’t have to look that way? What if all of the typical self-care practices could be adapted to what works for you, not what everybody else seems to be doing?

9:46

The Art of Setting Effective Boundaries

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/04/04

Picture this: you muster up the courage to set a boundary, but instead of the smooth sailing you hoped for, it's like hitting a brick wall. The other person reacts with confusion, frustration, or even hostility. What went wrong?The belief that we can’t change what someone feels in response to our boundary, well this can really mess up our relationships and our own well-being. It sets us up to feel defeated and helpless, like we're constantly walking on eggshells, afraid to assert

14:09

What to do when you're overwhelmed: aka why you need...

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/03/28

I never used to be the kind of person that would get anxious or overwhelmed. I used to be proud of that and think it was a skill especially when I was working as an ICU Registered Nurse and things were going sideways that day.Turns out it was dissociation, aka a coping mechanism from trauma. What can I say, hindsight’s a jerk sometimes. Now, the truth is I get very anxious, not just my OCD anxiety disorder, but also just generalized anxiety. I think it’s kind of wild sometimes how

13:10

7 things my chronic illness has taught me that I wish...

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/03/21

Hindsight’s a jerk sometimes.You know, that moment when you look back at an experience and now you see the red flags and the warning signs... … or the hindsight that makes you aware of what things you could have done differently to prevent life from going as sideways for you as it did. Of course you didn’t notice all of these things in the moment because…well who knows why? Over the past five and a bit years of learning how to embrace my chronic illnesses and

10:02

How to cope and regulate your emotions as a highly...

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/03/14

When people talk about regulating emotions, they often use the pot of water heating up on the stove analogy. In this scenario, by suppressing your emotions it's like you're trying to hold down the lid on this boiling pot of water, but eventually the pressure from the steam gets to be too much and it pushes out in a little burst.I don't like this analogy though because it seems to only speak to the emotions we typically label as negative. But if we truly want to honour ourselves as a

12:56

Beyond Masculinity and Femininity: Redefining Balance...

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/03/07

A little while ago, a client of mine shared that they were at odds with themselves because they didn’t feel ‘masculine enough’ and that they operated ‘too much in the feminine’ energy. But at the same time, they didn’t want to be caught up in the culture of toxic masculinity either. They noticed that I had a Yin Yang symbol in one of my tattoos and asked what I thought about the idea of finding a balance between the masculine and the feminine.Because I believe

13:11

Ong Namo - Reclaiming Yoga

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/02/29

Yoga has absolutely changed my life, but not solely from the mat based asana practice. However, when I was first introduced to yoga that’s all I knew it to be! Yoga was where you went to feel calm, stretch and maybe get stronger depending on the class that you signed up for. Only after completing my yoga teacher training and teaching for a while did I encounter the complexities of Westernized yoga, which led me to question my role in perpetuating cultural appropriation. As my beloved practice

11:23

Slow Down You're Doing Fine - Prozac, santosha, and...

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/02/22

Have you ever had a moment where it feels like a part of the authentic version of you just fell into place?I just had another moment like that this past week, and it shifted a lot of things for me. All the way from sudoku and jigsaw puzzles on my phone, to how I view mental health medications for myself. In a recent session with my therapist, she told me something which I already have heard a thousand times. She said “Remember you’re a human being not a human doing.” I found it

10:04

Three Little Birds - The power of changing what if's...

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/02/15

I’m a few weeks into the Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) for my OCD, which I’ve talked about in the last few posts, so if you’re curious what that’s all about check it out here and here. Basically it’s a way to lean into the anxiety, rather than do something to try and calm it or make it go away. Turns out this is especially helpful with OCD because my obsessive thoughts only get more and more intense (and creative) the more I try and make the anxiety go

12:23

Broken & Beautiful

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/02/08

It’s been a few weeks of Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) therapy for my OCD - which is the gold standard treatment for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder where you intentionally create opportunities for anxiety and fear to rise up, and then don’t do the compulsion that normally alleviates that fear. The problem was, I was hitting a bit of a roadblock. The good news is that all I had to do was change one word

11:11

Cracking the Code of Overthinking

Inner Stillness Outer Chaos ·

2024/02/01

I know it’s only February and it seems like it’s really early to start thinking about planning a garden, but the truth is in my corner of Canada our growing season is typically really short - like June through the end of August into the beginning of September kind of short. This means that for a more prolific vegetable garden, we have to start planting and growing things inside in the next couple weeks. My mom actually has already started. As I’m sitting here contemplating the

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