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PODCAST

Halal Cartels

Halal Cartels Global hot takes from a couple local brown guys living in the center of a sundowning empire. hosted by Gabe Pacheco Sameer Naseem, And just like the Wu, we do it for the children IG: @gabepac1 IG: @sameermon Contact: Halalcartels@gmail.com twitter: @halalcartels https://www.patreon.com/Halalcartels Intro Music by SAREEN @sareenpatel @Brownprivilege

society & culture

All Episodes

01:09:04

Halal Small Talk and Cartel Menus w/guest Luisa Diez

Halal Cartels ·

2023/01/12

Very special collaboration episode with Why You Mad podcast host Luisa Diez We cover Colin Quinn's new one-man show, Judith Light's happy marriage arrangement, and the film the Menu, now playing on HBO Max. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG:@gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG:@Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

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00:57:45

Pyroclastic Flows, Rental Cars, Holiday at the...

Halal Cartels ·

2023/01/05

this is the product you know and love Buying a used car in LA, driving it into the pacific and the lemon laws Another banger for your ears and brains. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

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00:59:47

Detroit Techno, Newark Urban Renewal, and Godfather 3...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/12/25

Boom! From the Fraudsters Podcast, today's guest is Justin Williams. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

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00:42:04

Dry Boy Thanksgiving in Qatar and Milking Snakes for...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/12/02

Triple-dem-ick!!!! Watching the Shining in Español Thanksgiving FIFA Dry Holiday in Qatar Sameer’s Friends love non-alcoholic beer Modern day slavery in the Gulf Gabe is buying random spices

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01:01:02

Black Licorice, Cop Gangs, Escaping Arranged...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/11/10

We apologize about the audio on this thang, but the content is strong in this one. See you next week with cleaner and crisper audio. Today we talk about the National Security Agency vs Buzzfeed, the origin of the FBI and their campaign against the Flores Magon brothers, cops in gangs, arranged marriages, no Nut November, and embracing bachelorhood We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG:@gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by

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00:49:03

Speaking in Tongues in Cuernavaca, Curbing Comedy...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/10/26

How being polite will be your downfall. Punishers at comedy shows. Allergic reactions at languages schools. Evangelical faith healers pray over Gabe. Sameer's neighbor wants him to buy home made wine. We also roast the movie Top Gun: Maverick We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

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00:46:55

Spooky New England Bisques and Spicy Nigerian Pepper...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/10/15

We trot the globe from the Rogue Island Comedy Fest to the night clubs of Lagos Nigeria on this episode. We also mention Midnight Mass, a variety of soups, haunted farmhouses in Portland Maine, Stephen King’s On Writing, CIA sponsored playgrounds in the Third World, Lagos as a libertarian free-market utopia, and more We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel

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00:49:21

Dahmer, Cops Failing Up, Bad Bunny Videos, and Sneaky...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/09/30

Another banger for your ears and brains. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG:@gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG:@Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

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01:09:23

A Strange Journey from Civil Wars to Stand Up Comedy...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/09/13

It's an away-game episode. Gabe met Akau Jambo while he was performing a set at a coffee shop on the Lower East Side. Akau's is a riveting story, as the first English Language standup comedian coming out of South Sudan, the second youngest country in the world! Listen in as we talk about life in the refugee camps of Kenya, comedy in Uganda, and Akau's journey so far into becoming a global voice in stand-up. Side note, Barbados is the new baby country among the nations of Earth. Follow him at: IG

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00:50:42

Haunted by Soggy Ghost Girls, Klosterman's Nineties,...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/09/09

The joys of the library app, misinformed by search engines cluttered with ads, biblical flooding in Pakistan, the Mandela Effect, the Nineties by Chuck Klosterman, landlines, microfiche, work/life balance, Industry- the TV series, and petty life hacks We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG:@gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG:@Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

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00:55:45

Was Sex Better Under Stalin? Who are the Gen Z Trads?...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/09/05

We bring on guest and co-host of the WHY YOU MAD? Podcast, anthropologist/art historian, rabble-rouser Luisa Diez to talk about marriage, weddings, trads, the nuclear family scam, sex under socialism, and the return to the office. And we get a break down of what it means to be HALAL/CARTELS. This one is fuego Follow Luisa https://twitter.com/luisadieznuts We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG:@gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels

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00:57:10

Aliens on the Lolita Express, Botanical Sexism, the...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/08/27

We tackle the big issues this time around. Allergies, Pets, the Tom Brown Jr. Tracking School, Samurai Bashing, UFOs, Climate Change, the Amish immune system, and space travel, Harvest of Empire, Gaddafi's drip, and more. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG:@gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG:@Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

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00:52:25

Explosive Ink Packets on Your Door Dash Delivery, New...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/08/21

Prey, Stand-Up Comedy in Paris, Ministry of the Future, the dangers of Door Dash, the limits of liberte, egalite, and fraternite, shoddy American construction, McMansions wastelands, the rise of ecological protection by any means necessary, and we got MERCH coming. Holler for shirts and lighters. Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by

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01:03:59

Warzone Cuddle Parties, Role Playing Life and Death...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/07/31

Another fun episode with Gabe and Sameer. We cover the nightlife of Kviv, moving to Mexico City, the Rehearsal, medical interpreter training, and more. Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG:@gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG:@Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

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01:01:11

Horny French Mountain Men, Jamaican food cooked by...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/07/21

The boys are back together after a few weeks. We talk about Australians providing "authentic" Jamaica cuisine, the new Resident Evil, the Grand Tetons, the difference between grizzly bears and black bears, the return of the company town, antelopes, deer, comedy shows, and more. RIP James Caan. Go watch the movie Thief after you finish this pod. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG:@gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN

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01:02:12

Nosy Cab Drivers in Korea, Pickpocketing Monkeys in...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/07/11

On this away-game episode, Eve Ellenbogen joins the conversation with some globetrotting stories about starting stand-up in Korea, traveling in the outback of Australia, getting stalked by thieving monkeys in India, and more. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

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01:07:38

Controlled demolition of US economy, Redacted...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/07/08

On this away-game episode, Sameer is enjoying family time in an undisclosed location, near an Amish enclave. Guess which state! We've got guest John F O' Donnell, host of the Take Your Pill, Psychopath! podcast. He's a veteran NYC standup comedian, host of Live From Outerspace at Cobra Club on Fridays in Bushwick, and former correspondent for Redacted Tonight on RT USA. Don't worry, we will discuss bi-polar disorder, the Art Star scene and comedy in the Lower East Side in the early aughts, the

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01:00:11

Alabama to Palestine pipeline, tech bros in Ramallah,...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/06/25

Is Halal Cartels doing Ageism? Where can we get good Palestinian food in NYC? Does Ramallah have tech bros? What's it like to get into the West Bank? Was Jesús pro-seggs werkurs? What's life like under Israeli Occupation?sAnd more with Special Guest and co-host of the NO FLY LIST Atheer Yacoub We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG:@gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG:@Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by

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00:47:55

The Boys, prepping for the Ayahuasca ceremony with...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/06/11

The Boys, the new Predator trailer Prey, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Gabe's field trip on the John J. Harvey fireboat, the immigrant stories we tell our kids, the Argentinian crime movie, The Clan, the West German Red Army Faction, the dirty truth about pirates, and the Depp/Heard court cast. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by

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01:00:06

Cargo Cults, Psychic Vampires, Aaron Burr, and the...

Halal Cartels ·

2022/06/03

We talk about Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton gun fight statues, SoJo Spa, heatwaves, the slow-motion unraveling of the United States, office politics, terrible managers, the emotional con of linking work with passion, Elon Musk as bad boss, cargo cults, Critical Race Theory is real and Gabe is Brainwashing your kids, Wong Kim Ark and the Supreme Court Case that gave us birthright citizenship, and how do we get rid of school shooters without taking my duck hunting rifle? We now have a

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101 results

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