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PODCAST

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer

Geoff & Jody Steurer

The goal of healing isn"t just stopping the crisis. It"s ultimately moving into genuine and meaningful connection with ourselves, each other, and the world around us. Join licensed therapist and author Geoff Steurer and his wife, Jody Steurer, as they share ways to move out of the crisis of sexual betrayal and relationship betrayal trauma toward connection. The information in these discussions transcends religious and cultural lines, as we all seek the same healing power of connection.

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

7:16

Episode 273 Update: A Clarification and Correction

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/12/10

In this brief update, I share important context and corrections regarding the episode recorded with Taylor Chambers.After receiving feedback from insightful listeners, I realized that the conversation on boundaries lacked critical distinctions about different stages of recovery from betrayal trauma. This addendum addresses: The essential differences between early-stage recovery (focused on safety and stabilization) and later-stage recovery (focused on mutual connection). Why context

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41:57

Beyond Boundaries - with Taylor Chambers - Episode 273

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/12/05

Boundaries have been a hot topic recently, mostly in relation to setting boundaries to protect your own peace. But in the context of recovering from unwanted addictions, boundaries are essential in keeping certain behaviors at bay and staying within a framework that aids in recovery. In this episode, we welcome Taylor Chambers, a licensed marriage and family therapist with extensive experience in treating unwanted pornography use and other mental health issues. Join us as we discuss healthy

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19:25

What Does It Mean to Be Yourself? - Episode 272

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/11/28

‘Being yourself’ goes beyond what you do, or what you like to do. It really expands into how you move through life. In this episode we focus on the idea of exploring this complexity beyond surface-level actions and roles. We examine how American culture's emphasis on group belonging and hyper-individualism affects personal development and authenticity. Join us as we highlight the importance of self-awareness and honesty in relationships, especially in the context of betrayal. We dive into

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46:20

A More Compassionate Approach to Addiction - with Dr....

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/11/21

So many family members sit on the sidelines worried about the health and welfare of their addicted loved ones, struggling to know what to do to help. In this episode we’ve invited Dr. Carrie Wilkins to discuss evidence-based practices for supporting loved ones struggling with addictive behaviors. As Co-President and CEO of CMC: Foundation for Change, Dr. Wilkens highlights the 'Invitation to Change' model, which integrates strategies from CRAFT, motivational interviewing, self-compassion,

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23:20

Stonewalling Your Partner - Episode 270

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/11/14

A common reaction after an argument is the need for space to cool down and collect one’s thoughts. But when the silent treatment is continually given to intentionally shut someone out or hurt them, it becomes stonewalling, a concept identified by John Gottman. Join us as we discuss the dynamics of stonewalling, especially in the context of betrayal trauma and recovery, and the importance of addressing and working through difficult emotions and patterns to build healthier relationships.The

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51:02

What I Have Learned as the Daughter of a Recovering...

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/11/07

We typically address betrayal and recovery from the perspective of the betrayer and their partner. But in a family dynamic, there are often children involved that feel the weight of the betrayal as well. Children are keenly aware of feelings and emotions and are heavily impacted by those even when they don’t understand exactly what’s happening or the reasons behind them. In this episode we welcome Tara McCausland, Executive Director of SA Lifeline. Tara shares about her personal experience

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28:17

What I've Learned and Unlearned in 25 Years as a...

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/10/31

In this solo episode I’d like to take a look back at the last twenty-five years as a therapist specializing in problematic sexual behaviors and betrayal trauma. I began my career before the Internet and smartphones were a staple for most adults and teenagers. And, while those inventions are not where problematic behaviors begin, the ease of access of sexually explicit material accelerated a need for improvement in treatment and care. Join me as I discuss my transformation as a therapist as

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21:10

Staying Out of Victimhood - Episode 267

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/10/24

In this episode we explore the journey from identifying as a victim to achieving personal empowerment, particularly in the context of recovering from broken trust and betrayal. The initial protective nature of victimhood can be useful, but has potential to lead to entitlement if prolonged. Join us as we discuss moving beyond victimization by establishing healthy boundaries, embracing personal ownership, and continuously engaging in life to achieve fulfillment.The Power of Community in

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45:55

Honesty, Trust, and Reactivity - with Dr. Jason...

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/10/17

Have you ever considered that being brutally honest could be more of a reactive emotion rather than being an authentic communication skill? In this episode we welcome Dr. Jason B. Whiting to discuss the challenges of honesty in our most intimate relationships. From seemingly harmless avoidances of the “full truth”, to outright lies and deception, he shares insights on the balance between transparency and healing, the impact of emotions on perceived honesty, and the challenges in maintaining

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21:20

Building a Protective Partnership - Episode 265

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/10/10

Partnership is the foundation of healthy intimacy and connection. In this episode we discuss the necessity of developing a protective partnership that fosters mutual understanding, safety, and commitment beyond monogamy. While it is common for men and women to enter a marriage with different life experiences and expectations around partnership, it is important to ask deeper questions to understand each other's experiences, emphasizing intentionality and vulnerability to foster deeper

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41:15

The Impact of Betrayal on a Partner's Identity - with...

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/10/03

In this episode we welcome Dr. Heidi Hastings, a marriage and sex researcher, to discuss her research on the impact of betrayal on a partner's identity. Dr. Hastings outlines the five stages of betrayal and self-development, which include innocence, crisis, aftermath, healing, and transformation. Through her research involving diverse women, Dr. Hastings found that betrayal deeply affects multiple aspects of a woman's identity, prompting significant personal growth through crisis. By the

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17:32

Self Advocacy (Part 2) - Episode 263

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/09/26

In this episode we continue our conversation on self advocacy, focusing on rebuilding trust after betrayal. Considering that a safe person is someone who can be confronted, we explore the important roles of external advocacy, such as interventions, therapists, or community support, in situations where self-advocacy is not effective. While finding external advocates may be necessary, it is important to maintain integrity and self-respect to ensure that the focus isn’t on building an army of

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41:08

Healing from Patterns of Sexual Betrayal in Christ’s...

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/09/19

In this episode we welcome our guest, Jeni Brockbank, to discuss her book 'Healing in Christ's Light,' which merges principles of therapy with Christian faith to help readers navigate their recovery journey. Join us as we cover the importance of boundaries, self-discovery, and the integration of faith in the healing process. Jenny emphasizes that her approach is trauma-sensitive and advocates for a personalized path to recovery, with insights from both psychology and scripture. She also

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18:09

Self Advocacy (Part 1) - Episode 261

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/09/12

Betrayal trauma can leave the betrayed partner feeling isolated with mountains of self-doubt. Learning to find your voice and advocate for your needs is critical for healing. In this episode we discuss the importance of using your voice to express your needs, especially if the betraying partner is not actively working on their recovery. Oftentimes it can be helpful to have an external advocate such as therapists, trusted friends or family members. However, self-advocacy remains a crucial

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41:48

Power Dynamics in Relationships - with Bonnie Young -...

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/09/05

Every relationship has a power dynamic, whether it be equal or an uneven split. Focusing on empathy, generosity, and mutual respect are the keys to balanced relationships. In this episode we welcome Bonnie Young, a licensed marriage and family therapist, to discuss power dynamics in relationships. Through Bonnie's research and clinical practice, she shares her findings on the importance of power sharing and how power can be invisible and often misunderstood. Join us as we also cover gender

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19:50

Being Honest with Yourself Can Change Your...

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/08/29

When we think of dishonesty in relationships, we often immediately think of the big, life-changing moments such as betrayal. But even very small instances of dishonesty, seemingly harmless, can accumulate and eventually harm the relationship. In this episode we discuss how not being completely truthful about our needs and wants can lead to a lack of connection and misunderstanding. When we are able to openly communicate about even the smallest issues, we build trust and connection. We

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28:53

Living with Unmet Expectations - Episode 258

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/08/22

How many of you have the exact life that you mapped out when you were younger? The perfect spouse, perfect children, perfect life, where everyone does exactly what you want them to? It’s pretty fair to say that how life plays out is vastly different than what we picture in our heads, especially considering that the people in our lives get to choose for themselves how they will live their lives. In this episode we discuss the challenges of unmet expectations in families, specifically as

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41:39

A Deeper Look at Forgiveness and Apologies - with...

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/08/15

In this episode, we welcome Lisa Stoddard Reeves to discuss the complex aspects of forgiveness in relationships, particularly within Christian contexts. Lisa highlights the potential harms of oversimplifying forgiveness, especially in cases of significant betrayals. She examines the different dimensions and types of forgiveness — including extending grace, trust, and reconciliation, as well as divine forgiveness — while emphasizing the need to avoid coercive language like 'Will you forgive

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39:11

Demystifying the Polygraph Test - with Jared Rockwood...

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/08/08

What do you think of when you think of a polygraph test? Do you think of a gimmick you’ve seen on TV, or do you think of a reliable truth-telling device? In this episode we welcome Jared Rockwood, a polygraph examiner with extensive experience and training, to discuss the role of polygraph tests in rebuilding trust after betrayal. Jared explains the process, effectiveness, and ethical considerations of polygraph testing, particularly in therapeutic settings. He emphasizes the importance of

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21:19

Support vs. Enabling - Episode 255

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer ·

2024/08/01

Do you ever wonder if it’s necessary to praise someone for a basic action you feel they should automatically be doing? In this episode we have a nuanced discussion about the dynamics between being supportive and appreciative within a relationship, especially when partners start contributing to the relationship after a period of not doing so. We examine the differences between healthy partnership contributions and expectations of praise for basic responsibilities, particularly in the context

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