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PODCAST

"Fine" Dining

Michael Ornelas

Comedian Michael Ornelas dives deep into the stories behind your favorite chain restaurants like Domino"s, BJ"s Restaurant & Brewhouse, and Long John Silver"s before determining if they are better or worse than Chili"s: the most mediocre restaurant in America.

arts food

All Episodes

50:09

Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken: From Humble Shack...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/06/11

🐔 Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken (Part 1): Gus's Parents, the Superfan, and Chicken Championships 🐔 Before Gus’s was world famous, it was just spicy chicken sold out the back of a bar in the segregated South. But that secret recipe grew into a Southern staple, complete with 40+ locations, a chicken-loving superfan turned CEO, and even a rogue rooster who hangs out outside one of their Memphis spots. In this episode, I’m joined by improvisor, actor, and all-around delight Dave Theune (NBC’s St

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01:39:21

"Dunkin' & Donuts" feat. Amy Vorpahl

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/06/04

🎲 Dunkin’ & Donuts: The D&D Crossover You Never Knew You Needed 🎲 This week on the "Fine Dining Podcast," we trade the drive-thru for dungeons. After covering a long, bizarre history — from handled donuts and Fred the Baker to the rise of Munchkins and Dunkaccinos — it’s time for part two: an original Dungeons & Dragons one-shot adventure, played in a world where every NPC runs on Dunkin’. Featuring writer, improviser, and TTRPG icon Amy Vorpahl, this special actual-play episode turns our

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51:14

Dunkin’: Donuts with Handles, Munchkin Origins, & the...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/05/28

☕ Dunkin’ Donuts: Handled Donuts, Munchkin Origins & Al Pacino’s Dunkaccino ☕ Dunkin’ may be a coffee giant now, but its journey started with donuts — one in particular with a literal handle. In this week’s episode, I break down the entire rise of the chain formerly known as Dunkin’ Donuts, from its humble beginnings in Quincy, Massachusetts, to becoming the fast-casual coffee behemoth we know today. Plus, I'm joined by writer and performer Amy Vorpahl to unravel some of the weirdest moments in

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54:26

Papa Johns Doesn't Do Pizza Well

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/05/21

🍕 Papa Johns: The Pizza Review That Gave Us Indigestion 🍕 We reviewed Papa Johns… in the lobby. One item at a time. On plastic chairs they dug out from the back. Make no mistake, this branch of Papa Johns rules, but at the end of the day: it's still Papa Johns. After learning the ingredients now arrive in prepackaged plastic bags from an employee literally covered in something the company calls “dust,” we had to ask the big question: is Papa Johns objectively as good as Chili’s? Joining me is

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38:58

Papa Johns: Garlic Dip, CEO Scandals, & the First...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/05/14

🍕 Papa Johns: Garlic Dip, CEO Scandals, & the First Bitcoin Pizza 🍕 From a broom closet in Indiana to viral garlic sauce bath bombs, Papa Johns has had one of the weirdest journeys in chain restaurant history. In this episode, I explore the story of America's youngest major pizza chain — the sauce that changed the industry, the man who ate 40 pizzas in 30 days, and how a slice of Papa Johns became the first physical purchase made with Bitcoin. We’re talking about Shaq, lawsuits, racial slurs on

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01:15:14

Chili's IS the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/05/07

🌶️ Chili’s IS the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America (Part 2) 🌶️ After 100 restaurant reviews, this was it. Chili’s officially earned the perfect 5.00 out of 10, making it the most mediocre restaurant in America — the ultimate point of comparison for every meal to come. In this episode, I’m joined by returning guest VyVy Nguyen as we review the Encino location in full detail. From booth battles and dry wings to nostalgic chips and a molten dessert that hides its magic in the middle, we break down

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48:35

Chili's: The Fajita Effect, NSYNC, and the Jingle...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/04/30

🌶️ Chili’s: They Started in a Post Office?? 🌶️ Chili’s. For nearly 50 years, it’s been slinging margaritas, sizzling skillets, and vibes that are somehow both flirty and corporate. In this episode, actress and podcast 3-timers guest club VyVy Nguyen is back to explore the surprisingly spicy history of this chain restaurant icon with me — from its post office origins to its entanglement with The Office, N*SYNC, and the internet’s horniest Vine. Was Chili’s always this unhinged, just waiting for us

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01:04:00

Is Joe's Crab Shack the Best Chain Seafood Restaurant?

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/04/23

🦞 Joe’s Crab Shack (Part 2): Heavenly Shrimp, Sloppy Lob, & Dessert Scores 11 out of 10 🦞 After diving into the shady past of Joe’s Crab Shack, it was finally time to eat. In this episode, I head to the Disney-adjacent location with friend and podcast voiceover contributor Sandy Rose to see if the crab still holds up. From shockingly great coconut shrimp to a fish filet that straight-up betrayed us, we cover every bite, every bathroom handle, and every s’more-stained moment in our quest to

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43:55

Joe's Crab Shack: Drunk Toddlers, Racist Decor, & WHO...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/04/16

Joe’s Crab Shack has been serving seafood and sass since 1991 — but who is Joe? In this week’s episode, I dig deep into the murky origins of this kitschy crustacean-themed chain, uncovering mystery, missteps, and marketing that somehow works. From accidentally boozed-up babies to scandalous decorations and trans fat deception, Joe’s has made some serious waves. Plus, I’m joined by longtime friend and podcast voice Sandy Rose to question whether you can truly trust a restaurant that sells shirts

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53:15

Panera Bread Is a Pastry Paradise

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/04/09

We finally ate at Panera Bread — and while the bakery items impressed, the rest of the experience was a chaotic medley of kiosk confusion, bathroom code injustice, and raw onion overload. I’m joined once again by Lyss Johnson (comedian, friend, and former Panera employee) as we break down every detail of our in-person visit to the iconic soup-slinging, salad-stacking chain. Can the cinnamon crunch bagel save this spot from mediocrity? Or is Panera coasting on vibes and vending machine tech? 🥯 The

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42:40

Panera Bread: Infinite Refills, Caffeinated Chaos,...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/04/02

🚨 Panera Bread: Infinite Refills, Chicken Fights & Lemonade Lawsuits 🚨 From a humble Missouri bakery to one of the most recognizable fast-casual chains in the country, Panera Bread has been on a wild ride. This week, I dive deep into the breadbasket of chaos that is Panera’s history — including aggressive ad campaigns, billion-dollar innovations, and a beverage scandal that stirred national headlines. Plus, I’m joined by Lyss Johnson — comedian and former Panera employee — to break down what it’s

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51:24

Is Dairy Queen Worth a 2 Hour Drive?

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/03/26

🍦 We Drove 2 Hours for Dairy Queen – Was It Worth It? 🍦 We hit the road and drove nearly two hours to the nearest Dairy Queen Grill & Chill to finally see if there’s more to DQ than just frozen nostalgia. We tried three burgers (including a surprisingly delicious Flamethrower), fries, onion rings, chicken tenders, and two iconic desserts—the Blizzard and the Banana Split. The building looked half-abandoned, the service felt five-star, and the bathroom was designed by David Lynch, apparently. Is

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47:36

Dairy Queen’s Rise to Power – The Blizzard Effect

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/03/19

Dairy Queen is more than just ice cream—it was one of the first fast-food chains to take over America. In this episode, we dive into how a self-proclaimed chemist helped perfect soft serve, why DQ dominated the 1950s, and the moment that changed everything: the invention of the Blizzard. Joining me is writer & director Tyler Eaton of the new horror-comedy film Mysterious Ways, as we explore Dairy Queen’s rise, its questionable hot food menu, and whether it still lives up to its legendary status

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58:29

Taco Bell Proved Me Wrong (But Not About Everything)

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/03/12

After avoiding it for over a decade, I finally stepped back inside a Taco Bell—and I was not ready for what I found. The Baja Blast? Genuinely delicious. The Crunchwrap Supreme? A smart design, poorly executed. The guacamole? It's giving Home Depot. In this episode, comedian & actress Priya Pappu joins me to break down the good, the not good, and everything in between about eating inside a Taco Bell. From its strangely sterile atmosphere to its impressively bad beef portions, we’re analyzing it all

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56:54

How Taco Bell Became Fast Food’s Most Creative Brand

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/03/05

Taco Bell Is the Most Creative Fast Food Restaurant—But At What Cost? Taco Bell is the fast-food chain that isn’t afraid to get weird. Over the years, they’ve served up bold (and sometimes questionable) menu items like the Naked Chicken Chalupa, the Firecracker Burrito, and even a Kit Kat Quesadilla. But alongside its reputation for creativity, Taco Bell has a messy history—food recalls, bizarre marketing stunts, and legal battles that only Taco Bell could pull off. In this episode, comedian Priya

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53:32

Subway Is Even Worse Than You Remember

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/02/26

Subway’s reputation has been circling the drain for years—but is it really as bad as people say? We tried a bunch of footlongs and we've got thoughts. This week, Terral Wells joins me to put the country’s most common fast-food chain to the test. From a pretzel drier than the Mojave Desert to an interior design aesthetic that actively made Terral upset, we break down every moment of our subpar experience. "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to my YouTube to WATCH this episode! WHAT WE COVER

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50:41

Subway’s Disturbing History: Jared, The Infinite...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/02/19

Subway’s history is WAY messier than you think. Sure, it’s the biggest fast-food chain in America, but behind the Eat Fresh™ branding lies a disastrous past filled with lawsuits, bizarre marketing stunts, and yes… Jared Fogle. In this episode, Terral Wells joins me to uncover Subway’s wildest moments, from its humble beginnings as a way to fund med school to the time they got sued because their footlongs weren’t actually a foot long. Oh, and did you know there’s a Subway fashion show? Or that you

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01:18:10

The Only Hooters with Breakfast feat. Alexander Poncio

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/02/12

Hooters Casino Hotel—now rebranded as OYO Hotel & Casino—has been called the worst hotel on the Vegas Strip. But is it really that bad? We put it to the ultimate test by spending 19 hours trapped inside, eating Hooters for dinner AND breakfast (because yes, this is the only Hooters in the country that serves breakfast). And if that wasn’t enough? We also hit up Aussie Heat (a male strip show), sang Dear Theodosia at karaoke (to everyone’s disappointment), and dealt with clogged toilets, broken

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46:38

Hooter Bowl 3: The History of the Worst Hotel in Las...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/02/05

Hooters Casino Hotel was meant to be a game-changer—bringing its busty brand of mediocrity to the Las Vegas Strip. Instead, it became one of the biggest disasters in Vegas history. A casino so bad, it made Circus Circus look classy. So... what went wrong? For my third annual Hooter Bowl Spectacular, I had to go big. So I spent 19 hours trapped inside the Hooters Casino Hotel (now OYO), enduring its busted elevators, depressing ambiance, and suspiciously sticky carpets—all for the sake of history

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01:05:38

McDonald's PlayPlace & the McGriddle feat. Chad...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/01/29

They thought I was sent from corporate! McDonald's Breakfast is arguably the most desirable form of McDonald's, and my Ronald McDonald-looking-ass got to chow down on it with the king of the clowns, Clown Boss Chad Damiani! The Good: I got treated like a king for coming in dressed as Ronald (and I don't think they knew I wasn't sent from the higher-ups), the McGriddle hits (for me), the hash browns hit (for Chad), and they made no stink about me playing in the PlayPlace The Not Good: The Chicken

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