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PODCAST

All of You

allofyoupodcast

Welcome to the All of You Podcast with Dave and Shiv Martinell! A few years and one too many fights ago, our relationship led us on personal journeys toward self awareness, healing, and personal growth. We started to see that the more we healed, the better we started showing up not just in our relationship, but in the workplace, in our friendships, with our daughters, and most importantly for ourselves. Our hope is that in sharing our own raw and vulnerable truths, others will be inspired, feel

education self-improvement

All Episodes

52:58

Ep.87 Happiest or hardest time of the year?

All of You ·

2025/12/22

The holidays are often framed as the happiest time of the year… but for many, they can also be the hardest. In this episode, Dave and Shiv talk honestly about why the holiday season can feel so heavy, from unmet expectations and family dynamics to grief, loneliness, and the invisible mental load—especially for women. Shiv shares why she used to dread the holidays, and together they explore what it’s like to navigate this season when you’re already on emotional thin ice. A real, compassionate

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46:11

Ep.86 Blocks to gratitude

All of You ·

2025/12/15

We talk a lot about the power of gratitude—but if it’s so good for us, why don’t we live there all the time? In this episode, we explore the blocks to gratitude and what actually gets in the way of feeling it, even when there’s so much to appreciate.Using a real moment from the day after Disneyland, we unpack how easy it is to slip into shame and self-criticism—and how gratitude isn’t about bypassing the hard, but staying grounded in reality. We talk about how gratitude allows space for both the

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46:27

Ep.85 Relationships: the playground for personal growth

All of You ·

2025/12/08

In this conversation, we explore one of the most surprising truths about personal development: the work you do for your relationship is the same work that transforms every part of your life. Relationships act like a mirror—showing you the patterns, wounds, and habits that quietly shape how you communicate, lead, set boundaries, and move through the world.When you choose to grow inside your partnership, that growth follows you everywhere. Your career, your confidence, your spiritual life, your

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38:32

Ep.84 Does your trauma make you stronger?

All of You ·

2025/12/01

In this episode, we unpack the complicated relationship between trauma and growth—and why going through something hard isn’t what makes you stronger. We talk about the difference between experiencing trauma and actually healing from it, and Shiv opens up about how the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” she was told in the wake of extreme loss did more harm than good.We also dig into the way our upbringing shapes us, especially the belief that harshness builds resilience. (Spoiler:

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47:07

Ep.83 We weaponized the work

All of You ·

2025/11/24

In this episode, we’re getting honest about a pattern we didn’t expect to find in our own relationship: using personal growth tools in ways they were never meant to be used. We talk about how easy it is, once you’ve done a lot of healing and communication work, to slip into correcting, analyzing, or psychoanalyzing your partner — all under the guise of “using the tools.”If you’ve ever caught yourself turning relationship tools as a weapon, this conversation will feel like a deep exhale. Ready to

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46:32

Ep.82 Your permission to not be liked

All of You ·

2025/11/17

This week we’re diving into the uncomfortable truth that not everyone is going to like you — and why that’s actually okay. We talk through our own experiences with rejection, wanting to be misunderstood, and the pressure to manage how people see you. It’s an honest, unstructured conversation about what it looks like to release that weight and stay grounded in who you are.If you’ve ever felt the urge to shrink, shape-shift, or people-please your way into being liked, this one’s for you. Ready to

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40:00

Ep.81 Outsourcing your self worth

All of You ·

2025/11/10

Ever feel totally fine… until your partner seems a little off? And suddenly you’re questioning yourself, replaying conversations, or wondering if you did something wrong? That’s outsourcing your self-worth — and most people don’t even realize they’re doing it.In this episode, we break down why your partner’s mood or behavior can feel like it determines your value, how this pattern quietly shows up in relationships, and what it actually takes to stop letting someone else’s emotions dictate how you

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51:42

Ep.80 How health in one area is connected to all areas

All of You ·

2025/11/03

Ever notice how when one part of your life feels off, everything else starts to feel a little off too? In this episode, we explore how all areas of your health: mental, physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, and even financial are deeply connected.We talk about why you can’t truly feel well if you’re neglecting one area, how imbalance shows up in subtle ways, and what it actually looks like to bring yourself back into alignment. You’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of how caring for

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61:46

Ep.79 What we really want in an apology

All of You ·

2025/10/27

We think we want “I’m sorry,” but what we’re really craving is to be seen in our pain. In this episode, we share a story from one of our own past fights and talk about why apologies sometimes don’t land the way we hope they will. Because not all of the pain is from the moment—it’s often old, living in our bodies and showing up when we least expect it. We’ll unpack what it really means to feel seen, and how to repair in a way that brings you closer instead of getting stuck in the same loop.This

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54:59

Ep.78 Projection: it’s easier to see this in you than...

All of You ·

2025/10/20

Have you ever accused someone of something, only to realize later that it was actually about you? In this episode, we’re diving deep into projection, which is the unconscious defense mechanism that makes us see our own wounds, insecurities, and traits in others.We talk about why projection is so sneaky, how it keeps both people stuck, and what to do when you’re either the one projecting or the one being projected onto. You’ll hear real examples of how projection shows up in relationships (including

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43:51

Ep.77 Manipulation: the ways we do it without knowing it

All of You ·

2025/10/13

We all like to believe we’re “not manipulative.” But the truth? Most of us do it, often without even knowing. In this episode, Shiv opens up about the sneaky, unintentional ways she's tried to control situations or people, and how manipulation can quietly show up in our relationships, families, and even faith.We explore what manipulation actually is (and isn’t), why we do it, and how fear, control, and learned behavior play a role. From saying “everyone thinks this way” during an argument, to

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47:11

Ep.76 Signs of an absent partner

All of You ·

2025/10/06

You can be sitting next to someone you love and still feel completely alone.In this episode, we talk about what it really means to have an absent partner and how absence isn’t just physical. It can be emotional, mental, relational, or even spiritual. We explore the subtle ways absence shows up in relationships: when your partner stops sharing what’s really going on inside, when conversations stay surface-level, when you’re carrying the weight of connection, or when they’re home but their spirit

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50:03

Ep.75 Are we chasing or avoiding what we feel

All of You ·

2025/09/29

In this episode, we explore how so much of what we do comes down to either chasing or avoiding our emotions. We chase because we believe others have something we’re missing. We avoid because we don’t want to feel what’s already here. And while both patterns can sometimes lead to “good” outcomes, neither one ultimately brings the fulfillment we’re longing for.We’ll also dive into how this plays out in relationships—how trying to control, manipulate, or look outside the partnership for certain

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50:36

Ep.74 Is it time to rest or work harder?

All of You ·

2025/09/22

We’ve all hit that moment of wondering: do I need to slow down, or do I just need to push a little harder? In this episode, we unpack how to tell the difference. Self-compassion doesn’t mean complacency—it’s what fuels resilience and lasting growth. Research shows that when we meet ourselves with kindness, we actually achieve more, not less. But pushing when your body and nervous system are already tapped out can do more harm than good.We explore why rest isn’t the opposite of productivity but the

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56:03

Ep.73 The fine line between boundaries and control

All of You ·

2025/09/15

Where’s the line between a healthy boundary and trying to control someone you love? In this episode, we dive into the difference. Boundaries create safety, clarity, and respect in a relationship — while control often comes from fear, insecurity, or a need to manage the other person. We’ll share real-life examples of what healthy boundaries sound like versus what control looks like in disguise, and how to know when you’re crossing the line. If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I setting a boundary, or am I

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47:16

Ep.72 Building self confidence

All of You ·

2025/09/08

What if the confidence you’ve been chasing isn’t about looking put together or pretending you’ve got it all figured out, but about healing the parts of you that were hurt in the first place?In this episode, we’re breaking down what real self-confidence looks like and why it can’t come from surface-level fixes. We talk about the wounds that shape how we see ourselves and the subtle ways we avoid facing our insecurities. You’ll hear personal stories of the areas we lack self confidence and how we

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52:09

Ep.71 Navigating jealousy

All of You ·

2025/09/01

Jealousy is one of those emotions everyone feels but no one really likes to talk about. Is it a natural part of love, or does it always point to deeper insecurity? In this episode, we dive into the complexities of jealousy — where it comes from, how it shows up in relationships, and what it might actually be trying to tell us. We also share how our own views of jealousy have shifted over time and the ways we’ve learned to navigate it in a healthier, more honest way. If you’ve ever wrestled with

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54:21

Ep.70 Hot takes: our spicy opinions and random rants

All of You ·

2025/08/25

This week's episode is a little different…Instead of diving deep into one theme, Shiv and Dave are serving up their hot takes—the rants, opinions, and random musings that don’t quite fit into a full topic but are too wild and funny to keep off the mic. From believing that social media isn’t bad to discussing why sometimes eating “unhealthy” is actually the healthier choice, we’re sharing the things we’re currently chewing on.These takes aren’t set in stone—we believe them today, might change our

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57:46

Ep.69 Self sabotage: how we get in our own way

All of You ·

2025/08/18

Why do we sometimes get in our own way, even when things are going really well? In this episode, we unpack the sneaky ways self-sabotage shows up in our lives—whether in relationships, career, or even moments of peace and happiness. We explore the beliefs that fuel it (“What if it all gets taken away?” “Do I really deserve this?”), and how old family patterns may have shaped what we think love, success, and safety are supposed to look like.Together, we share personal stories of times we’ve caught

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49:47

Ep.68 When you don’t feel that chemistry anymore

All of You ·

2025/08/11

Attraction isn’t static — it ebbs and flows depending on our energy, our connection, and what’s happening inside of us. In this episode, we talk openly about what happens when “the spark” feels like it’s fading, and how to tell if it’s really gone or just asking for your attention.We share how to discern whether a lack of attraction is about your own inner world or the dynamic between you and your partner, how insecurity and self-sabotage can make things worse, and why being with a secure partner

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