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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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1:10

Leroy the racist

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/25

Leroy Brown called every white person a racist. When he wasn't screaming it at white people, he was shouting it at the television. Neighbors who complained were in cahoots with the racist white folk. Cops who came to tell him to quiet down were sent by the racist white folk. But nobody did anything, because they didn't want to be called a racist. Leroy called the mailman a racist for walking on his property. The mailman said the mailbox was by his front door. So, from then on, he threw the mail on

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1:10

The clone law

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/24

The Clone Law states that no clone may be activated as long as the source is alive. When Roger 7 woke up Roger 8, it meant death to one or the other. Roger 8 climbed out of the copytank and looked around. Just a note: "Meet me at the drugstore." So, Roger 8 showered, got dressed, and walked to the drugstore. Where he was met by the police. "You have the right to remain silent," they began. Roger 8 tried to explain he didn't kill his wife. It was his source. "Well, then," said the police. "Then

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1:09

Meeting conflict

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/23

I'm on a lot of teams, and I have a lot of meetings. They're usually pretty good about scheduling them so they don't conflict, but sometimes, it's unavoidable. Nobody ever says the other team's meeting is more important, so go see them. If I pick one meeting, I get follow messages about super important stuff from the other meeting. And vice versa. So, I started filling a coin to decide. Heads, one team. Tails, the other team. Then I use the coin to scratch off a lottery ticket. And pray that I don't

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1:16

Kooky cookie

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/22

Governments are passing laws about data collection consent. And browsers are making it easier to block all cookies and data collection. So, we added a consent popup to our site. Do you allow this site to collect data and store cookies on your browser? And it saves your choice... as a cookie. People complained that they had to tell it no every time they came to the site. "That's because we store your answer as a cookie... and you're blocking cookies." They complain over and over about it. But we

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11:46

Weekly Challenge #1013 – Random words

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/21

RichardLisa Lizzie Tom Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is PICK TWO Street life Pox Behind That old classic… Standard lamp RICHARD Random Words Every week I go through the same process. I retrieve the old cardboard box from its place under my desk, give it a good hard shake, remove the lid and close my eyes. Reaching into the box, I rifle around its contents and pull out a selection of folded postcards, and then I can open my eyes. The postcards have a

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1:39

Greta

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/20

Oh, Greta. You little Nazi. Hitler Youth wet dream, blonde and blue-eyed. Chiseled features, the Nordic ideal. Danish? Dutch? It doesn't matter which master race you come from. Like any child star, you've memorized your lines. Your father's words, hurled at the audience from your mouth like a plunger thrusting sewage down a clogged toilet. America is bad. America is evil. The America full of universities researching solutions to the ills you blame it for. While Chinese factories spew more poison and

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1:14

George the pollster

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/19

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. His captain asked him how the crew felt, and George conducted a poll. "Your approval ratings are down," said George. "Maybe if we had a battle," said the captain. "That always boosts approval ratings for politicians." So, the captain set course for the nearest ship and they fought it. They won, but took heavy casualties. George polled the crew again. And the numbers were even lower. "But we won a battle!" said the captain. "Yes," said George

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1:10

George frees the slaves

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/18

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. When the crew raided a slave ship heading for the Americas, George insisted that they free the slaves. At first, the captain resisted the idea of letting a valuable cargo go, but in time George wore him down. "Okay, fine," said the captain. "But let's be realistic... we can't just release them in the middle of the ocean." "Then we'll teach them how to be pirates," said George happily. And George taught them everything he knew. It didn't take

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1:27

George is George

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/17

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. "What kind of pirate was he?" asks someone from the audience. The author thought about that for a minute. He'd established that George wasn't a very good pirate, so what did that make George? Average? Below-average? Awful? Horrible? Or did "very good" refer to his nature and character? If George wasn't very good, was he evil? The author hadn't meant to delve into ontology and the spiritual realm. "George is just George," he said. "Can I please

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1:21

George hangs

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/16

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate Somewhere, he'd read about people hanging themselves to get more out of sexual pleasure. So, George tied himself by the ankles to the boom and let himself dangle. Then, he tried to lower his breeches. Which, him being upside-down, was kinda hard to do. After a few minutes, he felt a warm stickiness hit him in the face. "Blech," said George. "That wasn't enjoyable at all," The captain was tempted to say "That's because you're supposed to hang

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2:01

George and the shitholes

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/15

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He'd been all over the world, and he'd seen some marvelous places. He'd also seen some horrible and awful places. Total shitholes. George preferred the marvelous and amazing places. Because those places had a lot of stuff he could plunder loot. There's not much you can plunder from a shithole. George felt guilty about it, and what he plundered from the marvelous places, he would give to the people in the shithole places. They'd thank him, but

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11:27

Weekly Challenge #1012 – Half-missing

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/14

Richard Lizzie Tom Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Random words RICHARD Pizza There's something deeply annoying about settling down on the sofa in front of the TV and reaching across to open the pizza box, only to find - horror of horrors - your pizza has half missing. Your eyes scan the room, searching for the culprit. It's not the kids. There's no tell-tale smudges of tomato on their cheeks; their hands are clean, and there's no crumbs on their clothes. It

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1:14

George’s fault

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/13

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He caused a lot of accidents, and the entire crew hated him. So, why didn't they get rid of him? Because they weren't much better than George. They just did a better job of hiding incompetence and blunders than George did. "It was George's fault!" they'd say. "George did it." Everyone agreed to blame George for everything. Cannon misfires, torn maps, bent swords, and lousy food. It was always George's fault. And when George would make a mistake,

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1:25

George and pronouns

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/12

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. While he plundered towns, he always said "sir" or "madam." But when he said "sir" to a transgender woman while looting her store, he caught hell for it. The local paper was filled with angry letters to the editor. Picket lines surrounded the ship. The captain sent George off to sensitivity training. Several weeks later, George returned and issued a public apology. The next time George pillaged that town, he called the transgender woman

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11:34

Weekly Challenge #1011 – Ending

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/07

https://youtu.be/uKWuwNjJsbsRichard Lizzie Tom Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Half-missing RICHARD --- Final thoughts --- I've always fancied doing that thing where you write a half-finished piece of prose foretelling your own impending demise, solely with the intention of leaving it on your bedside cabinet, for discovery on the eventual event of your death. "How did he know?" They'd exclaim. "Was it a premonition? Was it fate?" No, not at

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1:34

George the rapper

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/05

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. The other pirates sang sea shanties. George rapped. Badly. And not just White Guy Badly. Imagine Pat Boone rapping. No, imagine Bob Hope rapping. Cue cards and Alzheimers and that glassy, lost thousand-yard-stare. Well, George was worse. Much worse. "Yo, Scurvy Dog" was his first attempt at a song. They smashed his boombox. They threw his scratch turntables overboard. They tried to string George up by his microphone cord so many times, he

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1:22

George and the synagogue

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/04

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Every time his crew raided a town, he'd draw his cutlass and roar "The synagogue's mine!" His crewmates thought he was some kind of bloodthirsty anti-Semite, and they'd go "Sure, George, whatever you say." George would run to the synagogue, bolt the doors shut, and heave a sigh of relief. Sometimes, there'd be locals praying for protection from God, and George would try to reassure them that it would be okay. "Just help your neighbors rebuild,"

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1:31

George and the diversity officer

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/03

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. "It's because you're a white, straight, cisgendered male," said the ship's Chief Diversity Officer. "You're a privileged member of The Patriocracy." "When the shit did we get a Chief Diversity Officer?" muttered George. "Diversity is our strength!" shouted the officer, who shoved George overboard. "Go hate elsewhere!" While George swam for shore, the crew demanded living wages, unlimited vacation days, remote work, and a foosball table. Anyone

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1:19

George and rainbows

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/02

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. After watching The Muppet Movie, he tried to think about songs about rainbows. But the only one he could think of was the one that Kermit the Frog sang. So, he tried to write a sea shanty about rainbows. It didn't come out so well. It sounded like three cats fighting in an oil drum. George tried different musicians, but it always came out badly. He leaned on the ship's railing, watched a rainbow over the ocean, and hummed a happy tune. If only

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1:25

George decorates for Halloween

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/01

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Still, he tried his best, such as the time when he wanted to decorate the ship for Halloween. "We'll carve creepy pumpkins!" he said. The problem was, they didn't have any pumpkins. So, George painted the cannonballs orange and drew scary faces on them. And he cut up the sails into ghost costumes. "See?" George said. "We're ghosts! Ghostly pirates! Scary!" "Without our sails, we're dead in the water," growled the captain. "That's the spirit!"

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