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PODCAST

Dear Dr. Tracy

Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, relatable conversations. Hosted by clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, this podcast is your place for honest, no-nonsense guidance on love, intimacy, boundaries, and communication. With over 18 years of experience, Dr. Tracy brings a mix of clinical expertise, evidence-based research, and personal insights as a

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

18:51

5 Small Shifts That Build Real Connection

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/05/04

Emotional connection isn’t built by grand gestures—it’s created in the quiet, everyday moments between you and your partner. In this episode, Dr. Tracy shares 5 practical ways you can actually build connection with your partner, especially when things feel distant. Whether you’re stuck in the roommate phase or craving more closeness, these simple shifts can bring you back to each other—one intentional moment at a time. Learn more with Matthew Fray ⁠here⁠. ⁠Listen to our previous episode on

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52:27

Breaking the Myth of “Happy Wife, Happy Life”

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/05/01

We’re breaking down the myth of “happy wife, happy life” and why it’s quietly harming relationships. Dr. Tracy and relationship coach Matthew Fray explore how focusing only on your partner’s happiness can lead to resentment, disconnection, and the slow breakdown of intimacy. Learn why sharing your inner world matters more, how to move past the defensive narrative, and creating intentionality in the art of noticing to creating healthy habits in your relationship. Learn more with Matthew Fray

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31:11

What I’ve Learned in 10 Years of Parenting (And What...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/04/24

In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Tracy reflects on a decade of motherhood—and the ways parenting has reshaped her identity, her marriage, her boundaries, and her inner world.This episode isn’t a guidebook. It’s a truth-telling moment for anyone feeling lost, tired, or stretched too thin. RESOURCES: Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here! Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100

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48:01

The Romance You Want Starts With These Questions with...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/04/17

In this episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with author and producer Lindsay Jill Roth to talk about her new book, Romances and Practicalities—a love story woven together with 250 thoughtful questions designed to deepen connection and spark meaningful conversations between partners.Together, they explore the space where romance meets real life—how couples can navigate everyday responsibilities without losing the spark, and why asking better questions is the secret to building a lasting relationship

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47:58

Stop Trying to Fix It! Why Your Partner Just Wants...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/04/10

Dr. Tracy and her husband, Greg, dive into one of the most common relationship traps: the urge to fix rather than connect. After a personal moment of miscommunication, they break down how well-intentioned problem-solving can actually push partners further apart instead of bringing them closer. Greg shares his instinct to fix problems quickly, while Dr. Tracy unpacks the deeper emotional needs that often go unmet when one partner jumps straight to solutions. Through relatable stories, vulnerable

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14:41

Q&A: Is Divorce Contagious? The Hidden Impact of...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/04/06

Answering your questions!In this bonus episode, Dr. Tracy answers a powerful listener question: “Is divorce contagious?” She explores how a friend’s separation can impact our own relationship, the research behind social contagion, and why moments like these often reflect unspoken needs or desires. Taking her 18 years of working with clients through all seasons of their relationship, Dr. Tracy reminds listeners that while divorce isn’t truly “catching,” it can be a mirror inviting us to pause and

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39:36

Is That Really You… or Your Inner Child? How to...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/04/03

Have you ever reacted in a way that felt… bigger than the moment? Maybe your partner forgets to check in, and suddenly you feel unimportant or abandoned. Or you receive a small piece of feedback and spiral into shame. You might wonder, “Why am I like this?” In this episode, Dr. Tracy guides you through how to identify when your inner child is showing up—and how to begin healing those younger parts of you that still carry unmet needs and emotional wounds. This episode explores: What the inner

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39:18

Are You Really Sharing or Just Being Defensive?

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/03/27

In this episode, Dr. Tracy and her husband, Greg, tackle a communication struggle that so many couples face—understanding why saying "I'm afraid to tell you because of your reaction" backfires. It’s a fine line, and crossing it can quickly turn a conversation into an argument.Dr. Tracy shares a personal experience that sparked this discussion, including a thought-provoking comment from one of her social media posts that made her pause and reflect: Was she explaining her perspective, or was she

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69:23

Why Asking for Romance Feels So Hard (And How to Fix It)

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/03/20

Have you ever felt lonely in your own relationship... longing for romance but afraid to ask for it? You’re not alone. So many of us crave connection, but the fear of rejection, disappointment, or even feeling like a burden keeps us silent. In this episode, Dr. Tracy and her husband Greg dive deep into the emotional weight of longing for more while holding back our true desires. They unpack why asking for romance can feel so vulnerable, how past experiences shape our fears, and the subtle ways

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45:06

Are You Really ‘Unhealed’… or Is It Just Your Nervous...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/03/13

Have you ever been told that if something still triggers you, it means you haven’t healed? This idea oversimplifies trauma, healing, and how the nervous system actually works. In this episode, Dr. Tracy is breaking down why triggers aren’t just signs of unresolved wounds but natural responses from your nervous system—and why healing isn’t about never being triggered, but about recovering faster. We’ll explore: What Polyvagal Theory teaches us about triggers and emotional reactions How your vagal

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47:10

Why You Don't Want to Win Your Next Conversation -...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/03/06

Most people approach arguments with one goal in mind: winning. But what if winning an argument actually means losing something far more important—connection?In this episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with Jefferson Fisher, a trial lawyer and viral communication expert, to explore why people approach conflict the wrong way. Jefferson shares practical strategies that will help you stay in control, reduce defensiveness, and shift from a "you vs. me" mindset to an "us vs. the problem" approach. In this

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41:42

After The Honeymoon Stage: What Your Relationship...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/02/27

The butterflies have faded, the sparks feel dim, and now… it’s like you’re just coexisting. You love each other, but your relationship feels more like roommates than romantic partners. Sound familiar?In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg dive into what really happens after the honeymoon stage—why passion shifts, why connection starts to feel harder, and why so many couples struggle with feeling distant as life gets busier. If you’ve ever thought: Why doesn’t it feel the same anymore? Are we falling

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21:37

The “I Guess I’ll Never…” Trap – Breaking Free from...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/02/20

What do you do when a partner replies with “Well, I guess I’ll just never … again” after you share something with them? In this episode, Dr. Tracy and her co-host Greg answer this question and talk about how to respond to a partner’s "all or nothing" statement in response to a concern raised. Dr. Tracy talks about the underlying emotion in this expression, provides strategies for having a constructive conversation in that situation, and how to break out of this tricky cycle that stops couples from

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54:59

Stop Sidestepping Conflict: How to Embrace...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/02/13

Have you ever felt the urge to bite your tongue when something’s bothering you—just to keep the peace? Would you describe yourself as a conflict avoider? Or maybe your partner is a conflict avoider. In this episode, we dive into the real reasons behind conflict avoidance, uncovering how silent resentments can take a toll on your mental well-being and your bond with your partner. We’ll explore why we often dodge difficult conversations, the long-term impact on both individuals and couples, and

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20:25

Why I Had to Change, My Next Big Project, and the...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2025/02/13

It’s here! Season 6 of the podcast is launching with a brand-new name: Dear Dr. Tracy! In this episode, Dr. Tracy’s pulling back the curtain on why she made this change, what it means for the future of the show, and how she’s stepping outside her comfort zone to bring you even deeper, more real conversations about relationships, resentment, intimacy, and all the messy in-between moments.Dr. Tracy discusses why the name change, how you can be part of the show, what’s been going on behind the

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39:31

How to Get Your Partner to Go to Therapy

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/08/15

In the season finale of the podcast, Dr. Tracy tackles one of her most frequently asked questions: "How do I get my partner to go to therapy?" But first, she has a special announcement to share: she's writing her second book! Dr. Tracy then dives into the importance of starting therapy early in a relationship to build trust, enhance communication, and address issues before they become critical. She discusses the challenges many couples face, especially when one partner is hesitant, often due to

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47:21

Fostering Secure Attachment, Connection, Repair with...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/08/08

In today's episode, Dr. Tracy welcomes Eli Harwood, a licensed therapist, author, and creator of the "Attachment Nerd" online community. Eli shares her personal journey of overcoming inherited attachment trauma, emphasizing the importance of breaking intergenerational cycles. Together, Dr. Tracy and Eli explore the pressures of parenting, emphasizing the value of attunement, co-regulation, and being present with children during painful moments rather than trying to eliminate their pain. Eli also

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50:37

Understanding the Amygdala and Trauma Bonding with...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/08/01

In today’s episode, Dr. Tracy delves into how early childhood experiences shape our adult relationships with Dr. Kate Truitt, an esteemed clinical psychologist and neuroscientist known for her expertise in trauma and resilience. Dr. Truitt, founder of the Truitt Institute and CEO of the Amy Research Foundation, shares insights from her memoir, Keep Breathing, highlighting the powerful role of the amygdala—"Amy"—in shaping our responses to safety, lovability, and belonging. Their discussion covers

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45:31

Matrescence & Beyond: Redefining Mommy Brain with Dr....

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/07/25

It’s safe to say that "mommy brain" is due for a rebrand! In this episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with Dr. Nikki Pensak, a clinical psychologist, TEDx speaker and author of "Rattled," to discuss the challenges and opportunities of motherhood, particularly during the postpartum period. Dr. Nikki shares her journey from academia to becoming a mother, emphasizing the mental health needs of mothers often overlooked. They discuss the transformation of the maternal brain during matrescence, the pressures of

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9:02

Mini Session #11: Overcoming Obstacles in Your...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/07/21

In this mini session, Dr. Tracy talks with Rini and Shaun Frey about overcoming difficult periods in their relationship. Together, they discuss how anger and passive-aggressiveness can lead to disconnection and the importance of initiating early communication before things blow up. Despite eight months of built-up emotions, therapy helped them learn to talk openly and brought them closer. Rini shares her struggle with vulnerability and the expectation that men should take the first step, while Shaun

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