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PODCAST

Delusions Of Grandeur

Emily Gadek & Kelly Jones

Emily and Kelly grew up before Star Wars returned to the big screen—when novels were fans" only hope. Now, they"re re-reading them with fresh eyes for plot twists, new characters, and surprisingly apt socio-political themes. Delusions of Grandeur is a podcast about the good, the bad, and the truly bizarre stories of the Star Wars novels.delusionspod.com

arts books

All Episodes

67:23

Lando Calrissian and the Mindharp of Sharu Ch. 1 - 10

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/10/23

Patreon's prompt for this description is, "Why do you create?" And honestly, when the source material is this bad, it's a great question. Mostly to yell about someone else's art, I guess? Anyway: join us as we traipse from sabacc table to sabacc table — from tapcafé to tapcafé — at the whim of a threatening magician, to discover what the actual heck a mindharp is. The good news is that there is a lot of goofiness (dinosaurs! jackalopes!) sprinkled among some terrible eugenicist nonsense. We learn

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81:19

Children of the Jedi Ch. 21 - 26

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/10/16

Don't you just wish, though. Don't you just wish in your heart of hearts that some Skywalker would come up in here trying something froggy...and then two very intelligent women would stun him right in the face? In the exciting conclusion to this mostly incredible novel: Luke's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week comes to a close and he gets that office romance he's been dreaming about (at least, for now!). As we all know, with great power comes great reshpronsatrilatrix — and it's Callista

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72:47

Children of the Jedi Ch. 17 - 20

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/10/09

Luke Skywalker, whose leg is about to fall off, processes his trauma by banging it out on the astral plane. Leia Organa of the Alderaanian Organas leans on her training in royal eyelash batting to avoid execution and spends a night in white-collar prison curled up with a good book. This week's chapters are full of $5 words...including ones made up by a friend of the show! We are proud to present you with "Trümmernverliebtheittyp," a brand new word that means

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75:08

Children of the Jedi Ch 13-16

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/10/02

Another valiant battle to make it through four chapters of this fine novel! Luke and Callista come up with a plan to distract the Gamorreans holding Cray. While they're building it, they lie around on the office floor having deep freshman year conversations about their childhoods and why the Force is just like, the best. Threepio uses the power of diplomacy and tasty recipes to save the day. Leia figures out who is following her through the goddamn mists, and is forced to confront the cold dead hand

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69:57

Children of the Jedi Ch. 9 - 12

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/09/25

Luke Skywalker's no good, very bad day continues as he and Threepio amp up their search for Cray (now on trial for treason) and he runs into some old Tatooine acquaintances. It becomes more and more clear that the Will has absolutely noticed what Luke's up to and is trying its best to ensure he has a convenient accident. But there's another, more helpful presence on the ship. Perhaps that of a fellow Jedi and colleague who liked whales a whole lot and doesn't currently have a body (but does still

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89:12

Children of the Jedi Ch. 4 - 8

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/09/18

We're not entirely sure what it says about us or him, but we love a concussed Luke Skywalker. 🤷🏻‍♀️ If you thought the trauma of needing his bones replaced in Truce at Bakura was bad, wait til you get a load of this Luke: he's got migraines, he's got collapsing lungs, he's taken an axe to his Achilles...and somehow he's still exploring an enormous spaceship, hanging out with 3PO, and refusing to swear. Meanwhile, Leia Organa Solo manages to go on a hiking tour of a multi-biome planet, slum it up

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78:22

Children of the Jedi Ch. 1-3

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/09/11

Sometimes, you simply cannot get through five chapters of a Star Wars because there is TOO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT. A cover that gives Luke Skywalker an insane glow-up (and a normal haircut for once), and shows the Falcon at her best (flying off into a romantic sunset). A book that's unafraid to begin with the number one scourge of the 90s (ACID RAIN) and takes us to worlds where New Republican citizens are building beautiful solar punk futures and also partying hard. A love so true there ain't no

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51:32

Rogue Squadron Ch. 36 - 40

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/08/28

Our intrepid hosts finish this best-selling book! Before we dive into the action, we undertake a wide ranging investigation into Corran Horn's height, and whether or not he qualifies not only as Best Boy, but also Short King. Then it's back to Black(moon), baby, for a rollercoaster of emotion as Wedge does what Wedge does best and Corran hides in a cave contemplating his rapidly approaching death. Luckily, Mirax and Tycho swoop in for a last minute rescue/shoot out/bake off/prank on Wedge. And we

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64:49

Rogue Squadron Ch. 31 - 35

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/08/21

How come they always read like fan fic except in the ways you want them to?! These chapters are full of horniness and a big ol' flirt triangle...but have absolutely no making out whatsoever for incredibly convoluted reasons we just can't parse. Wedge (aka "Veggie") leads most of the gang back to Blackmoon (except for Erisi who is pining for Corran and Ooryl who is pining for an arm). Mirax uncovers Emtrey's wildly complicated insider trading scheme involving Alderaanian pork bellies and super hot

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67:26

Rogue Squadron Ch. 26-30

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/08/14

We could call this Ch. 26-30 of Rogue Squadron but it's maybe more accurate to say we're diving in to How To Blow Up A Pipeline by Horton Salm? Rogue Squadron et al. get their shit rocked at Blackmoon thanks to Bothan overconfidence. Corran dreams of making out with Erisi in a Windows '95 desktop image. Just as he's on his way to getting well and truly drunk with a new commando friend, Emtrey and Whistler team up in a rare double scrounge that could change the fate of the New Republic. Kirtan Loor

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57:53

Rogue Squadron Ch. 21 - 25

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/07/31

Corran Horn pulls off a bonkers maneuver that saves the whole Squadron — and also gets him accused of Lite Treason (TM) / confined to his quarters. The rest of the crew feels sorry for him, but not so sorry that they refrain from either making out with each other in said quarters...or trying to make out with him due to battle victory horniness. Mirax is the only person who knows that the way to a true Corellian Man's heart is through cake. (Also: is Corellia called "COREllia" because it's in the

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67:23

Rogue Squadron Ch. 16-20

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/07/24

Buckle up as our hosts follow Rogue Squadron into combat once more! First, there's some very fancy flying, followed by much unfancy drinking out of what one can only assume are space Solo cups (is Han Solo secret heir to a cup fortune? Is this where the $ for his teen swoop racing career came from?). The drinking leads to some extremely complex emotional math over who is the squad's Best Boy and who is Chump of the Week. But all Best Boy math is on the back burner as Kirtan Loor pinpoints the

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52:20

Rogue Squadron Ch. 11-15

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/07/17

Our intrepid hosts survive their first space battle alongside Corran Horn (with heavy assist from patrons who explained how gravity actually works). Wedge engages in a battle of bureaucracy and gets his ass handed to him. We learn more about Ysanne "Iceheart" Isard's background and her mysterious ability to be both middle aged and attractive AT THE SAME TIME. And speaking of attractive women, Corran struggles with the paradox that a certain smuggler can be a criminal and also a tall drink of water

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65:11

Rogue Squadron Ch. 6 - 10

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/07/10

Okay so you know how we've talked before about the lack of sex in Star Wars...well, that doesn't mean that there's a total lack of intimacy, as evidenced by Wedge Antilles' VERY HOT, VERY PUBLIC relationship with his X-Wing. A lot of stuff happens in these chapters (solid legal counsel, team bonding, Han Solo hot goss, a terrifying journey through the Coruscant atmosphere...). But nothing etches itself in the brain like Wedge stroking the cockpit of his spaceship and making sure that everyone can

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62:28

Rogue Squadron Ch. 1 - 5

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/07/03

WEDGE WATCH!By super popular demand, it's time to embark on our epic one-book* foray into the X-Wing Series with Rogue Squadron by Michael A. Stackpole. Right away, we've got a simulated space battle (because of course), some highly questionable military decision-making (slash: war crimes), and a bad guy who fancies himself a taller, hotter Grand Moff Tarkin (impossible). Much like that "Gimble" Darklighter kid, or whatever his name is, the book already has heart. (Unlike Gimble, this book is old

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58:11

Tales from Jabba's Palace

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/06/26

Coming at you with a quick palate cleanser between Shadows of the Empire and Rogue Squadron — and a kind of literal one, too, since one of these stories involves the madcap adventures of Jabba's classically-trained chef as he tries to clear his name in the wake of a slew of murders-by-beignet. We've also got a story from a Canadian-American husband and wife writing team that maybe delves a little too greedily and too deep into the question of whether droids can feel pain. And yes, of course, we got

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66:01

Shadows of the Empire Ch. 36 - 40

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/06/19

In the final chapters of this saga, a book that started off at a jewelry-making retreat before taking a hard left into sexual assault finally resolves in full-out slapstick comedy. Our heroes trek through a sewer and douse themselves in literal shit. Chewie, bless his heart, goes sprawling in the middle of an ambush following a Looney Tunes-style slip n' slide. And best of all: everyone's favorite droid odd couple pilot the f**king Millennium Falcon. Is this a massive cover-up for the fact that the

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68:16

Shadows of the Empire Ch. 30-35

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/06/12

We're back, baby! What's going on again? Ah, yes: Xizor's recovering from getting kicked in the balls by eating some rare and exotic fruit. No sooner do Luke and Lando park the Falcon in Coruscant’s famed frozen shrimps district than they are joined somewhat inexplicably by Dash Rendar. Leia brushes off her old gymnastics routine. Vader painstakingly assembles a PowerPoint (whyxizorsucks.final.FINAL.pptx) for the Emperor. And we are cruelly cheated of the Lando Calrissian shopping montage we both

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3:14

A Quick Break and New Book Announcement (don't worry,...

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/05/29

Hey, all! We'll be back from an unanticipated break with the last two episodes of Shadows soon. But we wanted to let you know that our patrons have selected our next book: we'll be diving into Michael A. Stackpole's Rogue Squadron, the first X-Wing novel (as soon as we wrap things up with Xizor and co., that is). If you want to read along, you'll have a few few weeks to track down a copy from your bookseller or library of choice.As always, if you'd like a voice in future book selections, head on

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67:10

Shadows of the Empire Ch. 25-29

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/05/22

We know some of our listeners are reading along with your kids, so a content warning: these chapters includes discussion of an extended sexual assault scene that’s probably not appropriate for younger listeners (and maybe not a choice for all adults, either).Before we dive in, Kelly reports back from the 25th anniversary screening of The Phantom Menace (spoiler alert: it’s still not great, but we forgot all about Darth Maul’s sick Lime scooter and the guy that yells about sports). Leia finally comes

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