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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

24:23

Uintatherium, the Beast of the Uinta Mountains

Paleo Bites ·

2024/12/24

(image source: https://www.thoughtco.com/uintatherium-profile-1093289) Merry Christmas! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host and one of Santa’s elves Snowdrop Jimjam Jollypie discuss Uintatherium, a big hoofed mammal kind of like a rhino but with these weird antler-things on its head like a reindeer on crack. That’s the Christmas connection I’m making, anyway. From the Eocene epoch, this 14-foot dinoceratan stomped about merrily and crushed the skulls of predators much like a toddler crushing

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14:15

Capromeryx, the Dwarf Pronghorn

Paleo Bites ·

2024/12/17

(image source: https://alchetron.com/Capromeryx-minor) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Capromeryx, a teeny-tiny pronghorn with a teeny-tiny amount of information available, perfect for another teeny-tiny bite-sized episode. Dawww. From the Late Pliocene to the Early Holocene, this 2-foot hoofed mammal was among the smallest artiodactyl of all time, being no bigger than a hare. Dawww, what a cutie. So tiny, I bet it could easily be carried off by eagles and ripped apart by

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35:23

Psittacosaurus, the Parrot Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2024/12/10

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/lucas-attwell/art/Psittacosaurus-meileyingensis-752628599) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Psittacosaurus, an early representative of the dinosaurs that would later become Triceratops and Styracosaurus and the like despite looking almost nothing like one. It has the parrot-like beak I guess. Oh wait, that’s how it got its name! I’m smart. From the Early Cretaceous, this 6-foot basal ceratopsian apparently had a fossilized impression

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21:08

Domeykodactlyus, the Finger of the Cordillera Domeyko

Paleo Bites ·

2024/12/03

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domeykodactylus by FunkMonk (Michael B. H.)) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Domeykodactylus, a pterosaur with a fabulous piece of artwork for it that was the whole inspiration for this episode. We’re nothing if not easily motivated, folks. But seriously, look at that feathery coat! So fly. Haha, get it, “fly,” like pterosaurs did? Eh, forget it. From the Early Cretaceous, this 3.5-foot wingspan dsungaripterid had a stylish head

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30:14

Pentaceratops, the Five-Horned Face

Paleo Bites ·

2024/11/26

(image source: https://www.everythingdinosaur.com/product/haolonggood-pentaceratops-lioutang/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Pentaceratops, a large horned dinosaur just had to one-up Triceratops in the horn quantity department, or technically two-up I guess, since five is two more than three. I’m mathing! From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot chasmosaurine ceratopsid actually really had three horns like most other chasmosaurines, it just had highly pronounced cheekbones

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19:49

Notharctus, the False Bear

Paleo Bites ·

2024/11/19

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/willemsvdmerwe/art/Notharctus-tenebrosus-948425598) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Notharctus, a lemur-like creature that wasn’t actually a lemur nor was it a bear, but then again it is called “false” bear so it’s not technically misleading anyone. I just wonder who was dumb enough to think this was a bear to require clarification. From the Early Eocene, this 2-foot adapiforme primate lived in a time known as the Eocene Thermal

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27:48

Caihong, the Crested Rainbow

Paleo Bites ·

2024/11/12

(image source: Art by Gabriel Ugueto)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Caihong, a beautiful rainbow-feathered ally and one of the premiere examples of the evidence of dinosaur coloration. Slay, queen! From the Late Jurassic, this 1-foot anchiornithid theropod flew its glittering body over its Chinese forest home and spread its love all over like a sparkling fairy. Step aside, cisgender men; this is truly a dinosaur for the girls, gays, and theys. Want to further support the

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22:05

Thalassodromeus, the Ocean Runner

Paleo Bites ·

2024/11/05

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Thalassodromeus-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Thalassodromeus, a medium-sized pterosaur with a really, really big crest for its size; in fact potentially the biggest cranial crests of any vertebrate! Damn, you didn’t need to go that hard, Mr. Thalass! From the Early Cretaceous, this 15-foot pterodactyloid is highly contentious in its placement in the pterosaur family tree, but currently it’s believed to be a tapejarid

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20:15

Diabloceratops, the Devil Horned Face

Paleo Bites ·

2024/10/29

Happy Halloween! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host/demon lord Morazmolochgallothagon discuss Diabloceratops, a dinosaur with literal devil horns and a ferocious attitude, making it a perfect new monster to enact further suffering upon Matthew’s soul. Mwuahaha. Wait, what? Who’s writing this?! From the Late Cretaceous, this 18-foot centrosaurine ceratopsian is another great addition to the spooky season themed episodes, especially ones that are once more 100% improvised such as this. For some

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31:58

Alpkarakush, of the Kyrgyz Mythical Bird

Paleo Bites ·

2024/10/22

(image source: Art by Joschua Knüppe) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Alpkarakush, a medium-sized predatory dinosaur from the Middle Jurassic at the geographic midpoint of its family. A lot of mid, this guy. Maybe he isn’t that great. He’s mid, this one. From the Mid Jurassic, this 23-foot metriacanthosaurid was very closely related to my boy Sinraptor, the star of Matthew’s Megazoic books, so it was actually quite awesome and we will accept no slander of it. Anything that

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22:41

Gillicus, the Gilled One

Paleo Bites ·

2024/10/15

(image source: https://dinosauralive.fandom.com/wiki/Gillicus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Gillicus, a fish with gills… you know, like literally all fish. You ain’t special, Gillicus. We see you for who you are. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot ichthyodectiform is most famous for the “fish-within-a-fish” skeleton, where it’s the vore victim of the much cooler Xiphactinus. God, this guy is lame. What a loser. What a pushover. Actually, you know what, I can relate

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30:43

Udanoceratops, the Horned Face of Udan Sayr

Paleo Bites ·

2024/10/08

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Udanoceratops-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Udanoceratops, a fat ugly beast with a really big head. Between this, last week’s Anteosaurus, and the Eryops episode a bit ago, there seems to be a recurring theme of creatures here. See you at the Cotylorhynchus episode where we start talking about small heads. From the Late Cretaceous, this 13-foot leptoceratopsian had a really big lower jaw and chin, kind of like a Chad,

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21:39

Anteosaurus, the Lizard of the Mythical Giant Antaios

Paleo Bites ·

2024/10/01

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/willemsvdmerwe/art/Anteosaurus-340867141) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Anteosaurus, a really big stem mammal that ate and chomped and crawled and stomped all over. At least, I assume it did. We don’t really know, it could have moved exclusively via unicycle. From the Late Permian, this 20-foot dinocephalian was in the group of big terrestrial Permian predators before the gorgonopsids took over as the next big terrestrial

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27:36

Dakotadon, the Tooth of the Dakota Region

Paleo Bites ·

2024/09/24

(image source: https://prehistoria.fandom.com/es/wiki/Dakotadon) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Dakotadon, also known as the genus name that usurped the North American species of Iguanodon and thus any work featuring a North American Iguanodon retroactively is this. Hey, Aladar? You’re a Dakotadon now. Take all the time you need to process this, bro. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot iguanodontid is one of those examples of the bones being discovered and named far

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22:51

Quinkana, the Spirit of Gugu-Yalanji Folklore

Paleo Bites ·

2024/09/17

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/fish98/art/Antipodes-Quinkana-Concept-969634441) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Quinkana, a galloping terrestrial crocodile from Australia, because why wouldn’t this be a thing? Especially on that continent, AKA Death World. From the Late Miocene to the Late Pleistocene, this 13-foot mekosuchine was also encountered by early humans, rather than being alongside the dinosaurs like it should have been. Why were you from then rather

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27:31

Dusicyon, the Falkland Islands Wolf

Paleo Bites ·

2024/09/10

(image source: https://theconversation.com/history-mystery-solved-the-origins-of-the-falkland-islands-wolf-12637)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Dusicyon, a wolf that encountered humans on its isolated island home and then got promptly killed off by the colonists… yeah, this is a sad episode. We try our best to lighten it up, but there’s only so much you can do! From the Early Holocene, this 5-foot canid as a genus lived all throughout South America, and the one we’re

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24:01

Gremlin, the Gremlin

Paleo Bites ·

2024/09/03

(image source: https://www.sci.news/paleontology/gremlin-slobodorum-12547.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Gremlin, a monstrous little critter with a big head and a mischievous demeanor, particularly if you feed it after midnight. Come on, we all knew that’s where these jokes were heading, huh? We’re all on the same page? Good. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot leptoceratopsid lived in both the wet scrublands of Alberta as well as in the insides or on the wings of

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20:54

Eryops, the Drawn-Out Face

Paleo Bites ·

2024/08/27

(image source: https://a-z-animals.com/animals/eryops/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Eryops, a large amphibian with curved teeth, oval bumps, and a big head. Hey, Eryops, why the drawn-out face? Thank you, I’m here ‘til Tuesday. From the Early Permian, this 8-foot temnospondyl had the species name megacephalus, meaning this creature’s binomial name means “drawn-out face with a big head.” I really think they want us to know how big this thing’s head is, guys. What a

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23:20

Kaprosuchus, the Boar Crocodile

Paleo Bites ·

2024/08/20

(image source: https://fossil.fandom.com/wiki/Kaprosuchus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Spencer Mayhew discuss Kaprosuchus, a running crocodilian from Cretaceous Africa that lived alongside the far bigger crocodilian Sarcosuchus, the croc-like dinosaur Suchomimus, and the croc-jawed sail-backed dinosaur Spinosaurus. It’s like a who’s who of croc mimics, one of whom’s name literally means “crocodile mimic.” I guess it was trendy there. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 16-foot notosuchian was

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25:29

Camelops, the Camel Face

Paleo Bites ·

2024/08/13

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/camelops-hesternus-front-view-corey-ford.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Camelops, a… well, it’s a camel, guys. Yeah, news flash, Camelops is a camel. God, we really need another dinosaur episode soon. From the Late Pleistocene, this 7-foot camel lived in North America and lived alongside elephants, lions, bison, and wolves. A whole lot of creatures you wouldn’t expect to find on this continent, yet here they were. And here

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