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PODCAST

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships

Wendy Conquest, Dan Drake, Jeanne Vattuone, and Tim Stein invite guests to join an ongoing conversation about sex, addiction, and relationships. Wendy, Dan, Jeanne, and Tim are experts in the fields of sex addiction, betrayal trauma, and trauma resolution.

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

01:45

Why Isn't My Partner Loving Me? A Hard Look at...

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/05/24

In this thought-provoking April Mailbag episode, the hosts unpack a listener's email that dives into the painful space between recovery and reconnection. Why do some partners struggle to re-engage even when the addict is “doing the work”? Is it unresolved trauma, unspoken resentment, or just the truth of incompatibility? With candid insights into addiction, healing, and the emotional toll of long-term damage, this reflection offers a powerful reminder: recovery is only part of the story. What

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41:37

Understanding Kink: Healthy Expression or Hidden...

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/05/20

Kink. Fetishes. BDSM. Are they expressions of healthy sexuality—or signs of addiction and unresolved trauma? In this powerful and nuanced conversation, Dr. Stefanie Carnes joins the Conversations on Sex Addiction and Relationships team to unpack what kink really means, how it intersects with sex addiction, betrayal trauma, and recovery, and what therapists and couples need to know when navigating arousal templates, consent, and communication. Whether you're in recovery, partnered with someone who

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05:17

When Kink and Sex Addiction Recovery Collide – Dr....

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/05/17

What happens when non-traditional sexual behavior, recovery, and relationship dynamics intersect? In this 3.5-minute deep dive, Dr. Stefanie Carnes explores the delicate balance of reintroducing sexual expression in relationships impacted by sex addiction and betrayal trauma. From managing arousal templates and consent, to honoring recovery boundaries and partner triggers, this conversation opens up crucial dialogue for couples and clinicians alike. Tune in to find out more.

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05:14

Kink or Addiction? How to Tell the Difference: Dr....

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/05/13

Is kinky sexual behaviors a healthy sexual expression or a sign of addiction? In just 2.5 minutes, Dr. Stefanie Carnes unpacks the critical difference between kink and compulsive sexual behavior. Whether you're a therapist, someone exploring your sexuality, or simply curious, this short but powerful conversation tackles the intersection of healthy sexuality, fetish, BDSM, and when it might cross the line into addiction. Don’t miss this essential guide to understanding what the difference is—and

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05:01

When Is the Right Time to Make Amends?

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/05/10

Is there a "right" time to make amends in sex addiction recovery? What if the person in recovery isn’t following the 12-step model—or isn’t “there yet”? In this heartfelt discussion, we explore how true amends are less about perfection and more about presence, intention, and accountability.This episode breaks down what “living amends” really means—how small, consistent, and humble actions can begin to repair trust even before a formal ninth step. We also look at how couples navigate the tension

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05:15

When Parents Hurt Without Knowing: How Betrayal...

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/05/06

What happens to children when they grow up in a household shaped by addiction, betrayal, and emotional absence? In this emotional and raw conversation, we explore the long-term impact of sex addiction on kids—and what parents can do today to help stop the cycle. Through lived experience and clinical insight, the discussion touches on how a parent’s unhealed shame, absence, or addiction—whether it’s to substances, sex, or emotional avoidance—can lead to deep developmental wounds in their children

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27:50

What Does Real Amends Look Like? Humility, Healing &...

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/04/29

Making amends isn’t just a step—it’s a way of living. In this powerful and honest conversation, the hosts explore what it truly means to make amends in sex addiction recovery, especially when it comes to relationships. From the early days of confusion and disclosure to those pivotal “aha” moments when empathy finally lands, this episode breaks down the real heart behind the amends process.Together, we discuss: When is the right time to make amends? What does a living amends actually look like? How

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05:06

When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: Making Amends That...

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/04/26

In sex addiction recovery, there’s a moment—often unexpected—when everything shifts and the addict really "gets it". The defenses fall, empathy clicks into place, and for the first time, the betrayed partner feels truly seen and heard. This episode dives deep into that moment—the turning point in recovery when an addict can finally make meaningful amends.Join us as we explore how amends aren’t just about apologies, but about transformation, timing, and truly taking responsibility—not only for the

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04:48

The Truth About Amends in Sex Addiction Recovery -...

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/04/22

What does it really mean to make amends after betrayal? In this deeply vulnerable and honest episode, therapists explore the amends process from both the addict’s perspective and the betrayed partner’s experience. It's not just about apologies or flowers—it’s about understanding the full emotional impact, taking responsibility, and learning how to rebuild trust over time.We unpack the emotional weight behind amends in sex addiction recovery, why it can’t be rushed, and how true healing requires

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37:35

"Talking About Being the Adult Child of a Sex Addict...

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/04/19

What happens when you grow up in a home where sex addiction, secrecy, and emotional disconnection define the family dynamic? In this intimate conversation, the author of Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts share how the book came to life—and why it's opening doors for healing across generations.Featuring Culle L. Vande Garde, one of the co-authors and a certified sex addiction therapist, this episode explores the 12 core characteristics of adult children of sex

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04:39

Carried Shame and How It Shapes Your Childhood and...

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/04/15

Today we talk about the concept of "carried shame"—a form of inherited emotional pain that can follow us from childhood into our adult lives. Through powerful storytelling and deep clinical insight, we explore the difference between healthy shame and carried shame, and how upbringing, parenting styles, and unspoken family dynamics shape our sense of self-worth.Featuring a vulnerable account from someone who began their healing journey as a young adult, this conversation brings clarity to a topic

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04:58

Being A Child of A Sex Addict

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/04/12

Today we speak on the long-term impact of sex addiction on children who grow up in hypersexualized households - a topic rarely discussed, but deeply important.We discuss the 12 characteristics of being an adult child of a sex addict. Whether you're a therapist, someone in recovery, or just curious about how family dynamics and hidden trauma can shape us, this episode offers education, validation, and a call for more open, compassionate conversations. #SexAddictionRecovery #TraumaBonding

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30:40

Is Avoidance A Part of Sex Addiction?

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/04/08

Why do so many people struggling with addiction also struggle with avoidance? In this deep dive, we explore how avoidance manifests in addiction, relationships, and emotional healing—and why overcoming it is critical for long-term recovery.Avoidance may have once been a coping mechanism, but in addiction and relationships, it often leads to more harm than protection. How can individuals recognize their patterns and move towards true healing?

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05:03

How Fear Shapes Addiction & Relationships

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/04/05

Is avoidance at the root of sex and love addiction? In this episode, we explore how different attachment styles influence addiction and why avoidance—whether emotional, relational, or physical—plays a significant role in both addiction and intimacy disorders. Many struggling with addiction are unconsciously protecting themselves from deeper pain. But how does this avoidance impact their relationships, and what steps can they take to break free from these patterns?

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05:03

You Aren't There For Me!

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/04/01

Is avoidance a core trait of addiction? In this discussion, we explore how avoidance manifests in sex addiction and other compulsive behaviors—whether it's emotional avoidance, distraction, or withdrawing from relationships and responsibilities. Many people struggling with addiction use avoidance as a way to escape pain, fear, and emotional discomfort. But is avoidance the same as distraction? And how can breaking this pattern lead to real healing? #AddictionRecovery #Avoidance #MentalHealth

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36:38

Are 12 step meetings necessary? Are 12 step meetings...

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/03/29

"Welcome to our February Mailbag episode, where we tackle your most pressing questions on addiction, therapy, and relationships! 💬In this discussion, we cover: 🔹 Does skipping 12-step programs increase relapse risk? 🔹 Should addicts share what they discuss in therapy with their partners? 🔹 Can privacy and transparency coexist in recovery? 🔹 When is divorce the right choice after betrayal? 🔹 The impact of group therapy vs. individual therapy in long-term healing. We dive deep into the

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05:06

Why Isn't A Sex Addict Sharing?

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/03/25

When it comes to addiction recovery, how much transparency should there be between partners? Should an addict share what they’re working on in therapy, at their 12 step meetings, or is it a private space for personal growth?While therapy is a personal journey, shutting out a partner completely can create barriers to healing. How can couples navigate this balance for a healthier relationship? #AddictionRecovery #Transparency #TrustInRelationships #MentalHealth #Sobriety #SexAddiction

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05:08

12 step sex addiction meetings needed for sobriety?

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/03/24

Is attending a 12-step program essential for addiction recovery, or can therapy alone be enough? In this episode, we break down the key factors that contribute to long-term sobriety and discuss the role of community, therapy, and personal commitment in preventing relapse. This episode is answering our a mailbag question. Send your questions to conversations.sar@gmail.com. We will answer them! #AddictionRecovery #12StepProgram #RelapsePrevention #Sobriety #MentalHealth

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04:11

Talking Healthy Use of Technology

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/03/22

Technology is evolving rapidly, making our lives easier, saving us time and energy. But as we gain more convenience, are we losing meaningful human connection?While technology offers incredible opportunities—like remote work and online therapy—it also challenges our ability to connect authentically. How do we embrace its benefits without falling into disconnection? #Technology #DigitalAge #TechAddiction #HumanConnection #MentalHealth #SexAddiction

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05:19

Porn Addiction: Has to be a Secret?

Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships ·

2025/03/18

Is secrecy a core component of porn addiction? In this short but insightful discussion, we explore the complexities of porn addiction, including the role of secrecy, social norms, and personal values. Join us as we break down the psychological and behavioral factors behind excessive pornography use. #PornAddiction #MentalHealth #Psychology #BehavioralScience #CompulsiveBehavior

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232 results

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