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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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1:35

Duke

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/29

Your parents don't love you.Or your brother. So, you'll stay with us. We'll raise you. We'll teach you right. We'll make you successful. We'll make you popular. We'll open doors for you. But you can't be you anymore. Anna Marie is dead. You're Patty now. Drink this. Take these pills. Talk like this. Dress like this. When people ask you questions, say these things. Your name up in lights... Patty, not Anna Marie. And you'll be on Broadway. You'll be on the big screen. You'll be on the small

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1:23

Team Mascot

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/28

Every day, a possum visits my patio. And I put out cat food for it. The possum sniffs around, eats the food, and then wanders off. During a pointless argument and project delay, I pointed my laptop camera out the window during a work meeting. There were a lot of questions about the possum. And then the team adopted the possum as our mascot. And they made a logo with the possum. Just as the project was falling apart. I think it was the first and only time that the team actually accomplished something

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2:24

Security cameras

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/27

The first rule of security cameras is that if you don't see security cameras, then the cameras are well-hidden. However, the second rule of security cameras is to make them visible so that people know they are there. Then there's the third rule: it's cheaper to put a sign up that says there are security cameras, even though there aren't any security cameras. Because if people can't see a security camera, they know they must be well-hidden. Still, it pays to look, because if you're like me, someone

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2:44

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/26

So, I made a LinkedIn account. Connected with a bunch of coworkers and people I went to school with. And then, I let it sit for a few years. Every now and then, someone requests a connection. Or there's a bunch of people congratulating me for a work anniversary. Then there's the waves of connection requests by coworkers. Usually, that a sign something bad is coming. They ask me for recommendations. So, I agree, and then the prospective employer calls me, I tell them the truth: "You know what? I

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4:31

I love a parade

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/25

Long ago, I was in a Fourth of July Parade in Deerfield, Illinois. We were doing the Boston Tea Party, dressed up in Indian war paint and throwing sturdy carboard boxes at the crowd that were painted to look like tea chests. Helpers would gather and stack the boxes back up for us to throw again. Celebrating cultural appropriation and defamation for patriotic purposes. Tossing those boxes, we bonked a few people on the head. One of the metal clips came loose from a box and tore up a few people's

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1:27

The walk to the store

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/24

On Saturday, I like to walk to the grocery store. I bring a pair of reusable bags, because the handles of paper and plastic bags are prone to breaking. There are several grocery stores within walking distance. Each has a different route, some along ugly streets and some through nice subdivisions with sidewalks and tree cover. I sweat a lot on these walks, and cashiers ask if I’ve been running. “No,” I say. “I’ve been walking. If I had been running, I’d have gotten here sooner.” I’d probably have

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1:33

Lisa – Him

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/23

Him He was a charismatic man; I don’t think I fancied him not at first anyway. I’d always been a plain girl but there I felt special, like I stood out. It was how he treated people. He held your attention while he spoke; he didn’t look anywhere else. He put you at ease. It didn’t matter what he was saying: even explaining the old plumbing he had us all enthralled. I trusted and respected him. I never felt he’d given me any reason to doubt him, ridiculous isn’t it when he’d kept me and the others

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12:36

Weekly Challenge #948 – Spread

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/23

Lisa Lizzie Richard Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is PICK TWO Semantics, Cheers, Pots and pans, Landslide, Fret, Crystal RICHARD Breakfast Please be careful in the kitchen, you'll find the floor may be a little slippery. It's entirely my fault, but you see, I had to find a solution. I'm always in such a hurry rustling up something for breakfast that I invariably manage to drop my toast… You know how it goes: Always, butter side down. That's why

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1:21

McGruff

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/22

Remember McGruff the Crime Dog? He was a bloodhound in a trench coat that gave crime prevention tips. But the truth was, Mcgruff was an actual crime dog. He committed crimes. Mostly robberies, stealing audio-visual equipment and computers from the schools he'd visit. But sometimes, he'd sell drugs, I mean, he had a whole display case full of them, and they weren't just props. They were real, and after the show, he'd sell them to the teachers and administration. Why not, right? But never to the

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1:49

Whirly swirly portal

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/21

Sometimes, with the right resonance, frequency, the barrier between worlds weakens, and a portal opens. A point of light, then a swirling vortex of color... and finally, a glowing tunnel. Strange glowing vapors and humming come from the tunnel. Where does it go? Where does it lead? I stick my hand in... it feels cold... and warm at the same time. Dare I look? Peer deep into the void? Nah. I don't need that in my life. I drag the garbage cans over and dump them into the tunnel. It'll save me a few

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Weekly Challenge #947 – Plain

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/16

LizzieRichard Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z LIZZIE "Plain and simple. No more bickering, you hear?" The kids nodded. "We're going to enjoy the trip to the sea." The kids nodded. "And get rid of that right now." The kids chuckled. "Don't you chuckle, now." The kids nodded and took the chewing-gums from their mouths. "This is not going to be easy..." The train arrived and the nanny got distracted for just a split second. A few minutes later, while looking for the

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1:12

The four

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/15

One carried a knife. Another carried a gun. The third used poisons. And the last used his bare hands. Four bounty hunters, one target, and a huge stack of cash. Divided... four ways? No. The one with a knife took a bullet to the heart. Divided... three ways? No. The one with a gun choked on his drink and died. Divided... two ways? No. The one with the poisons was thrown off a building. So, the brawler took the bounty? No. The target paid him even more than the bounty. And then killed him. Another

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1:21

Those spells

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/14

It is tradition to carve magic spells into the walls of a king's tomb. When King Foldo died, we did no different to his tomb. So many spells we carved, so many wishes: Thank you, O king, for your benevolent rule. Protect the soul of our king. Bring our king back to us. May our king watch over us for eternity. Allow the king to guide his descendants as they rule us. Too many spells, it turned out. Foldo's mummy, compelled by all these powerful spells, roams the land. He hunts us down, hoping to earn

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1:31

Give me death

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/13

The great orator, Patrick Henry, stood before the Virginia Convention, exhausted from his speech calling for sending troops to fight the Revolutionary War. But he was not finished. "Give me liberty, or give me death!" he exclaimed. A bony finger tapped his shoulder. It was The Angel of Death. The Convention fell to a hush. Henry pissed himself. "How about both," said The Grim Reaper, brandishing his scythe. "Where do I sign up?" Death fought valiantly in the war, but was rather reckless, felling men

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1:18

The value of Freddy

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/12

Freddy was rich, but he wanted to get richer. His business partners got in the way, so he got them out of the way. Freddy's lawyer got the sentence knocked down from twenty years to five. But it didn't matter. A guard beat Freddy to death in the first week. The insurance company refused to pay out Freddy's life insurance. Freddy's wife used Freddy's lawyer to sue to the insurance company. And the government. She'd already been talking to him about divorcing Freddy, but now, she got the best of both

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1:36

The cure to all ills

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/11

As the pandemic swept across the world, the race for a vaccine began. Production lines came to life, gambling on various candidates so they'd be ready with supply. Company after company released their testing results. Many successes, with few or no side effects. The government bought up the doses, and sent them out for distribution. Hidden in the herd, a secret contractor's product, which they allocated to prisons, soup kitchens, and welfare institutions. While agents shredded records and smashed

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1:22

The Wily Writer

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/10

The Writer had a reputation for crafting tales of madness. He'd submit them to magazines, receiving rejection letter after rejection letter. Then, he'd wait a few months before resubmitting the work, with a note attached: "I have made the edits that you requested." Not that he'd made any changes. It was just a bluff to see if the publisher would assume they'd asked for edits before making an offer. Which more often than not would work. The Writer chose the best of the offers, and knew to focus his

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Weekly Challenge #946 – Shark

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/09

Lisa Lizzie Richard Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is Plain RICHARD Role Models The school called my parents. They wanted to speak to them with concerns they had about my home environment. All because of a stupid writing assignment: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' I'd written I wanted to become a loan shark, just like my dad. And why not? People treated him with a great deal of respect, he brought home a good wage and it was a steady

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Signed

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/08

Nobody ever asked me to sign their yearbook. And nobody signed mine. Because I don't have any yearbooks. Either I threw them out or didn't pick them up in the first place. I don't really care about anyone from high school. It was a horrible place. And I'd rather not remember anything about it. As for college, it wasn't so bad. It wasn't bad at all. And I had a lot of photos from college saved up. Which I lost in a fire. The college yearbooks are all scanned online. I have them bookmarked. But none

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The real disease

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/07

When you were a kid, if other kids were shitty to you, you probably grew up into someone who didn't want to have kids. Ned grew up bullied and beaten, and didn't he have many friends growing up. He tried dating, but so many women wanted to get married and have kids. So, sure, he fucked around, but he always wore a condom. And the women who'd poke holes in it to trap him, well, they still didn't get pregnant. You wear a condom to keep from getting an STD, but get a vasectomy to prevent the real

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