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PODCAST

No Crying In Baseball

When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you"ll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman"s best friend, and there"s no crying in baseball.

sports baseball

All Episodes

27:28

#46 - Moose on Moose Violence

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/08/28

Patti and the Pottymouth share the joy of Player’s Weekend, from Mike “Moose” Moustakas homering off of Joe “Moose” Musgrove, to the ultra style-y cleats of Adam Jones, CC Sabathia, and Francisco Lindor. Ronald Acuna, Jr. takes a chunk out of Marlin’s park, and a suitcase takes a whack at Aaron Sanchez’s dignity. It’s not Moneyball this time around, but the Oakland A’s are on a tear. Today’s vocabulary lesson is on revocable waivers and free agency, with the bonus tip of Don’t Panic

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30:07

#45 - Just Beer Enough

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/08/21

While Regulation Pottymouth is away, Other Pottymouth pinch hits with tales of the Nationals new bullpen cart, which they don’t deserve, a little love for Derek Jeter’s Marlins requiring Spanish lessons for the English speakers on the team, and the joy of SS Scott Kingery pitching so slowly the velocity doesn’t even register. Patti rants about Jose Urena’s fastball assault of Ronald Acuna and baseball’s ridiculous unwritten rules. And Eric Hosmer homering off a beer provides a

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24:46

#44 - Dance Cam Edition

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/08/14

Patti and the Pottymouth review the good, the bad, and the ugly of Player’s Weekend nickname choices. Extra credit to Pat Venditte, Paul Fry, and Joey Gallo for puns and playfulness. The Reds are troubling, however, as Scooter Gennett doesn’t choose “Scooter” and Joey Votto goes all Canadian war poetry on us. Juan Soto suffers premature ejection. Baseball math provides grandpas everywhere with cheat sheets on when it is safe to leave the game early and beat the traffic. And

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34:21

#43 - Double Header Hangover

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/08/07

Patti & the Pottymouth are forced to follow their own stupid fantasy boyfriend baseball league rules and bid farewell to Rhys Hoskins, Jonathan Schoop, and Ian Kinsler due to the Trade Deadline Boyfriend Shuffle. Pottymouth cheers on the Mamie “Peanut” Johnson Little League team as they move on to the regional championships with support from BF Adam Jones. Patti watches the “brawl that wasn’t” unfold, re-fold, and result in the beaning of national treasure Joey Votto. Rants abound as we

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30:27

#42 - Stupid High School Boys

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/07/31

Former MLB players vote for boyfriends on all 30 teams. They call them Heart and Hustle Awards, but they totally use NCIB’s BF criteria. We make a good showing with Pookie, Goldy, Salvy, Scooter, Spanky, and Alfalfa all making the cut. That’s Mookie Betts, Paul Goldschmidt, Salvador Perez and Scooter Gennett, for the uninitiated. Kiké Hernandez checks pitching off the bucket list, stands on the said bucket, and teases the Braves announcers for getting their MLB panties in a bunch. We have

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30:10

#41- All-Star Wrap-up and Women In Baseball Week

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/07/24

With Patti on the road, Pottymouth brings in some special guests to help out. Ecuadoran journalist Santiago Estrella talks about growing up playing baseball in New York City and being a huge Yankees fan before moving back to Ecuador — a country that has no baseball — at the age of ten. His newspaper allowed him to come back to the States to cover All-Star Week and he shares his stories of interviewing some of the top players. Pottymouth also speaks with dynamic umpire Perry Barber about

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34:06

#40 - All-Star Week is Hotter Than Hell

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/07/17

It’s All-Star Week and Patti and the Pottymouth have made new friends all over town – in the Metro, in bars, at the ballpark, during volunteer gigs, plus that guy walking down the street carrying a base from the Futures game. We got outside at Play Ball Park, where we made sure little girls and grown women took their turns at bat and in the pitching cages and didn’t hang back behind the boys and menfolk. At Fanfest, Pottymouth met a childhood hero and Patti flew. We couldn’t help ourselves

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23:40

#39 - Jumbotron Edition

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/07/10

Pottymouth decamps to NYC (WTF?) yet Patti manages to have her Greatest. Baseball. Weekend. Ever. There were dingers and anthems and jumbotron appearances galore. Pottymouth makes an All-Star case for Yadier Molina, who now even Torey Lovullo agrees is NOT a mofo. Mark Reynolds and Juan Soto are not the heroes the Nationals had in mind, but they are the heroes they needed. Patti has a brush with glory as the Women’s Baseball World Cup trophy and two members of Team USA visit Nats Park. And

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37:06

#38 - Naked Players and Shirts On Fire

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/07/03

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome special guest Alfredo Alvarez, of Con Las Bases Llenas, for a Red Sox / Yankees Series smackdown, er, discussion. Alfredo’s story of becoming a Yankees fan as a child in Cuba almost convinces Patti to join the Evil Empire, but her aggressively ugly Orioles shirt (and her aggressively Red Soxy Pottymouth) keep her grounded. We celebrate Joey Votto’s strike zone in honor of Canada Day, and revisit crime and punishment in the MLB in the form of Luke Heimlich

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37:26

#37 - Beware Mascots Wielding Wieners

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/06/26

Yadier Molina has legs, but does he have knees? The wiener report includes Hunter Strickland, the Phillie Phanatic and that guy on the Metro with the Machado jersey. The non-waiver trade deadline may cost Patti some boyfriends, but she makes sure you know what it means. Pottymouth has choice words about Roberto Osuna. All this plus participation medals, fake moustaches and a pitcher named Disco. Become a supporter of No Crying In Baseball and get access to special episodes, blog posts, and

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31:34

#36 - Childish Bambino is SO Our Guy

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/06/19

Pottymouth laments the glory that is her Mariners (formerly Rays) boyfriend, Denard Span because his best work is against her Red Sox. What’s a girl to do? We jump on the Mariners bandwagon that suddenly looks playoff-bound. Tip of the cap to Trea Turner for his 100th stolen base and Patti tells a back with a bang from the DL story, about Rhys Hoskins of the Phillies. Someone, please get Pottymouth a Yuli Gurriel gnome with troll hair. NoCryingInBBall.com Twitter: @NCIBPodcast Facebook

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32:38

#35 - Im-Max-ulate Innings

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/06/12

The race is on for the first player to a 20-20 season. Will it be Mike Trout? Mookie Betts? Tim Anderson? Andrew Benintendi? Patti welcomes Jays BF Aledmys Diaz back from the DL, and DBacks BF Paul Goldschmidt back from his slump. Pottymouth brings the adorable with little brothers of Alex Bregman and Carlos Correa drafted by the StrosBros. Surprisingly, the best play uniting Baseball and Beer this week is NOT the woman chugging her beer full of foul ball. But it could be.

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62:44

#34 - Biting At The Chompers

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/06/05

Mookie Betts is back on the DL but never fear, Andrew Benintendi is here! The Detroit Tigers’ season, however, may depend on fowl balls as they pin their hopes on a Rally Goose. This week’s boyfriend updates include Francisco Lindor, Scooter Gennett, and Max Scherzer, but finding replacement boyfriends is really, really hard. We have a little early Father's’ Day celebration for Dereck Rodriguez (son of Pudge), Kody Clemens (son of Roger), Vladimir Guerrero, Jr. (son of Vlad, Sr.), and Luke

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35:11

#33 – Scooter, Scooter, Everywhere

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/05/29

Patti and the Pottymouth discuss the healing powers of pee and successfully predict the epic-ness of the Trevor Bauer / Gerrit Cole duel. Ohtani, Trout, yada yada but have you seen this guy Scooter Gennett? Rookies hit it out of so many parks in debuts this week (Is it too early to order our Soto jerseys?) There’s some talk therapy to help Pottymouth through her extreme boyfriend flux (Oh, Hanley.). Those crazy Rays may be on to something with their closers as “openers.” Patti gets to say,

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34:26

#32 - Yankee Love and Jeter Hate

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/05/22

We were touched to see the compassionate reactions from local sports teams after the tragic shooting at Sante Fe High in Texas. Sports help us come together as a community and heal. Robinson Cano gets an 80-game suspension for use of a PED masking agent. He says it was accidental but was it, really? Astros pitching tops the charts for ERAs but Cory Kluber and Max Scherzer have much to celebrate, too. Finally, Pottymouth talks nice about the Yankees (to everyone's amazement) but Patti brings

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39:02

#31 - Pumped-up Pitchers and Pretty Pretty Shoes

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/05/15

Special Mother's Day shout-out to all the baseball and softball mothers out there! Thanks for all you do! This week, updates on Trevor Bauer, Wilson Ramos, Francisco Lindor, Sean Rodriguez, and Scooter Gennett. The Mets make a little league error and the humidor at Chase Field dampens even the Diamondback's Paul Goldschmidt. Did you know that April is the first month in MLB history to record More strikeouts than hits? Patti tells us all about it and Pottymouth has a thing or two to say. All

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36:15

#30 - Bryce Harper Has Been Freed!

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/05/08

MLB outlaws the use of "any foreign substance" by pitchers but Patti reports on Trevor Bauer's call to allow pine tar and other substances. Listen to find out why! The Seattle Mariners leave Patti & Pottymouth scratching their heads over their announcement that Ichiro Suzuki is not retiring, but won't be playing. Could it all be part of a long-term plan? NCIB is all over the internets! Connect with us! NoCryingInBBall.com Twitter: @NCIBPodcast Facebook & Instagram: NoCryingInBBall

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33:11

#29 – Blame It On The Porn Bots

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/05/01

What happens when Pottymouth's father learns she curses for the very first time? Disappointment and confusion, perhaps, but maybe moms can curse vicariously. Player highlights: Wilson Ramos homers again, Tommy Pham hits himself in the head with a bat and a "contraption", and Bryce Harper can't get a pitch. All that and questions about a shorter MLB season in this week's episode! Get details about everything in this week's show and our Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League

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30:33

#28 - We Like Fast Boyfriends

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/04/24

This week we review the Twins-Indians series in Puerto Rico, where hometown stars José Berríos, Francisco Lindor, and Eddie Rosario all shone on the island still recovering from Hurricane Maria, along with a power outage that nearly shut down the series. Patti introduces a new stat! SPRINT SPEED. You'll have to listen to find out what that means and who has more boyfriends in the top ten. Bryan Price is out at the Reds. Could John Farrell step in? What about Dusty Baker? All that and a

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35:01

#27 – Don't Call My Boyfriend A Mofo. Twice.

No Crying In Baseball ·

2018/04/17

Jackie Robinson Day celebration! Wait, is that...Wahoo? With the #42? Seriously, wft? Pottymouth has a word or two for Torey Lovullo after he said some unkind things about her Cardinals boyfriend Yadier Molina. Not okay, Torey! MLB at the UFC! Play-by-play for the Rockies-Padres and Red Sox-Yankees brawls and the "three stages of the brawl". Big shout out to MLB for their Trailblazer Series, bringing 100 baseball-playing girls ages 11 to 13 to California for the MLB Youth Academy! Patti

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