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PODCAST

The Comedy Button

Hand Turkey LLC

What"s going on, Internet!? Prepare for some of the most insane rambling about everything from life, to sex, to what passes for 21st-century Internet culture. Your aural canals are ours, and we"re filling them with nonsense -- courtesy of hosts Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

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All Episodes

01:39:11

The Comedy Button: The Santa Clause Commentary

The Comedy Button ·

2012/12/21

Get into that holiday spirit by watching an almost certainly drunk-as-hell Tim Allen stumble his way through one of the most awkward Christmas "comedies" of all time, and laughing (or more like groaning) along with your hosts and commentators Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville at his absolutely wretched parenting habits. This commentary is available in both NTSC and PAL formats, so make sure you grab the right one!

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48:03

The Comedy Button: Episode 58

The Comedy Button ·

2012/12/14

This week, Ryan gets involved in another Caltrain bloodbath, horse trailers are terrible places for horses, Anthony gets mugged, we keep an eye out for the candy criminals, police sketch artists make terrible drawings, we hate on (but secretly look forward to) The Hobbit, Chris Farley makes us pull the tragedy lever, we urge foster children to stop listening to the show, Hotel for Dogs is pretty much the perfect movie, we express our fears of parenthood, we recall how disgusting My Two Dads was, Max

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45:44

The Comedy Button: Episode 57

The Comedy Button ·

2012/12/07

It's an all email episode! We tell some Helen Keller jokes, have some adventures in pumping our own gas, provide manbaby decor advice, shake our heads at underage girls with breast implants, brainstorm cheap presents, help a lesbian act gayer, interview Ryan, hear from a member of the Food Fight crew, open up some truly weird snail mail, and learn to fear Scott's new co-worker. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

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51:50

The Comedy Button: Episode 56

The Comedy Button ·

2012/11/30

This week, Anthony had a birthday (and nobody got him a raccoon), we deduce that pothead posters and religious art are pretty much the same thing, adult spy gear and toy helicopters are the coolest things ever, we try to understand Ryan's antiquated audio/video setup, we tell our Thanksgiving tales, Max goes coocoo for pinatas, watching movies on laptops enrages Anthony, Scott's apartment has a nudity problem, Scott and Brain pit the gym for Jews vs. the gym for jocks, Anthony has terrible road

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51:47

The Comedy Button: Episode 55

The Comedy Button ·

2012/11/23

This week, we learn about Max's run-in with a high-level San Francisco hobo, go on surprise vacations, date older women, make fun of the dorks who wear Bluetooth earpieces, argue with backwater hicks, discuss current events that happened three weeks ago, hate the 1%, share our Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez love, get some hot Xbox Live dates, plan some bachelor parties, and lay down some drinking rules. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

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48:43

The Comedy Button: Episode 54

The Comedy Button ·

2012/11/16

This week, we whine about movie credits that go by too fast, engage in some lesbian gym role-play, confirm that flasks are stupid, imagine Teenage Mutant Sex in the City, eat the Price Is Right's big wheel, teach Max a birthday raccoon fact, rave about Wreck-It Ralph, make fun of Food Fight, and explain why drunk texts to lady friends are never good. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

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54:09

The Comedy Button: Episode 53

The Comedy Button ·

2012/11/09

This week, the nerds gang up on the bros for liking stupid baby games, and we discuss cutting the proverbial umbilical cord, recall fond memories of the Preview Channel, bemoan our lack of dreams, pitch the next award-winning flavor of Cap'n Crunch, remember the awesome books we read as children, share our weird substitute teacher stories, discuss Anthony's online dating experiences (or lack thereof), poke fun at '90s porn, and tell sordid tales of public transit brawls. Starring Scott Bromley,

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42:51

The Comedy Button: Episode 52

The Comedy Button ·

2012/11/02

This week, we recall our first impressions of each other, future careers ruined by Google, the awfulness of Twilight, reading non-comprehension, Maxbergers syndrome, local sportsball championships, San Francisco's useless police force, fun with gas cans, helping elderly people call 9-1-1 for non-emergencies, and the Men's SWEARhouse. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

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01:40:09

The Comedy Button: The Lost Boys Commentary

The Comedy Button ·

2012/10/26

Yes, before director Joel Schumacher ruined childhoods with Batman & Robin, he put Jack Bauer and Bill S. Preston in The Lost Boys -- a weird, slightly uncomfortable tale about creepy teenage vampires. So come along and join Comedy Button hosts Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville on a journey into the land of the awkward dead. This commentary is available in both NTSC and PAL formats, so make sure you grab the right one!

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59:40

The Comedy Button: Episode 51

The Comedy Button ·

2012/10/19

Max shares a whole book of raccoon facts, while Anthony and Brian talk about the joys of moving furniture. Brian also met Anthony's father (and his car full of weapons), we talk about how retarded Star Wars is, and bemoan our lack of cool Lego toys. Also: We don't know what car engines do, but we ran across a crackhead a capella group and a few homeless people on the local awful commuter train. And, your mail is still terrible. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max

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55:28

The Comedy Button: Episode 50

The Comedy Button ·

2012/10/12

For our 50th episode not-so-spectacular, we talk about taking pictures of our butts as kids, Brian gives all his stuff away, Anthony hunts for tarantulas, no one understands how Max can have an Indian half-brother, everyone tells a sewer story, Brian is an upstanding citizen, we realize that we're getting old, we remember our weird neighbors, we rock out to L. Ron Hubbard's horse jams, Tom Cruise still sucks, Ryan hates the beach, we break down the science of DuckTales, and some podcasts will always

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58:37

The Comedy Button: Episode 49

The Comedy Button ·

2012/10/05

This week, we consider the logistics of having sex in space, note that San Francisco is full of either tons of homeless people or werewolves, share some clown facts, express our feelings about less-abled people, have some plunger problems, read some Amazon reviews, recall our most favorite (and most brutal) middle school fights, discuss the things that should never be used in a store display case, learn all about face-slapping massage treatment (seriously -- this is a real thing), and talk up the

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01:17:40

The Comedy Button: Episode 48

The Comedy Button ·

2012/09/28

This week, we talk about impossible expectations for journalism, play "Indian Food or Star Wars Character," discuss the wild and wacky goings-on during the average San Francisco morning, get bored with our futuristic toys, reminisce on how crazy New York can be, laugh at dumb pigeons, laugh at dumb cartoons (and their marketing campaigns), choose between our theoretical daughters banging either Bret Michaels or the high school football team, read the worst revenge letter ever, hate on bad candy,

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53:27

The Comedy Button: Episode 47

The Comedy Button ·

2012/09/21

This week, Ryan tries to get healthy, Mike & Ike break up, weird classmates turn into weirder adults, Max and Anthony go to Toys R Us (and deliver a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles history lesson), Max winds up at a sad mall again, we ponder how animals pleasure themselves, Ryan shares his meticulous Indiana Jones notes, and we imagine a world without Guy Fieri. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

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01:11:09

The Comedy Button: Episode 46

The Comedy Button ·

2012/09/14

We took a week off, so get over it! But now we're back to talk about awkward Tahoe trips, beer-buying logistics, the Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3 wrap party, autopsy animals, Brian's Charlotte's Web fan fiction, the Disney Concentration Camp, shoplifting from K-Mart in the '90s, what life is like in the Mrs. Doubtfire house, Kickstarters for sci-fi trash heaps, bad advice for bullied kids, lethal furniture, and insane Lego savants. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and

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01:09:50

The Comedy Button: Episode 45

The Comedy Button ·

2012/08/31

Apologies in advance for the audio screwiness this week. To make up for it, we tell you all about our trip to the zoo with our second VIP listener, where we watched a prison riot in the gorilla pen, learned about Max's fear of spiders, tried to steal pretzels from kids, took some low blows for the camera, acted like dirty thieves, met the world's funniest goat, and witnessed a race riot in the polar bear pen. We also find out why some of us would make horrible (or awesome) parents, Anthony whips out

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01:08:18

The Comedy Button: Episode 44

The Comedy Button ·

2012/08/24

This week, we have the most athletic intro ever, mourn the loss of Nintendo Power, mourn the loss of the Sears Wishbook, share our Christmas wishes, learn one mustache's origin story, discover we're too old for Pokemon, recall our parents beating the crap out of us, beg Hollywood not to remake Problem Child, get angry at pretentious art, poop in space, learn how our special guest met his fiancee, learn about one cool band, and share Sweden bathroom stories. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, and

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01:21:37

The Comedy Button: Episode 43

The Comedy Button ·

2012/08/17

This week, Max has a terrible werewolf movie pitch, Anthony gets hit on, the Golden Gate bridge gets hot and heavy, nurses rave about cat tranquilizers, Brian shoots himself, Max accidentally blows it, Scott discusses the horrors of Disneyland, we roll our eyes at Velcro wallets, we rant and rave about terrible reality shows, Anthony geeks out about Star Wars Celebration, we open some early Christmas presents, and Scott relays the secret history of one very special Vanilla Ice song. Starring Scott

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01:02:29

The Comedy Button: Episode 42

The Comedy Button ·

2012/08/10

Sex in the 1920s, live Harry Potter puppet shows, the Home Alone Band, reviews for nature trails, Ryan Scott's Excellent Virginity Adventure, the early days of cybersex, pithy email responses, Anthony's new OkCupid initiative, getting excited over household appliances, the continued ruination of the English language, number 2, sewer-worthy silverware, and extracurricular creativity. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

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01:19:00

The Comedy Button: Episode 41

The Comedy Button ·

2012/08/03

This week's episode is all about our first group trip to California's Great America theme park, which included trashy people, some wild dancing, whorish preteens, a sweet airbrushed t-shirt, and garbage disguised as food. We also get an email from our saddest listener, hear the craziest story ever (courtesy of this week's special guest), and get some Anthony-targeted love advice from one of our female listeners. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville,

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