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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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1:11

Free samples

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/27

Sometimes, vendors will send representatives to grocery stores to offer up free samples. I walk by them without acknowledging that they are there. The worst are the wine vendors. They step out and get in your way to offer wine. "Would you like to try this wine?" they say, right in my face. So, I respond "Is it good enough to justify flushing five years of sobriety down the toilet?" If they say yes, then I say "And you're just offering me a sample? Give me the whole bottle, you bitch!" I have to

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1:23

Nice clean accident

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/26

I played a lot of video games with my friend Jamie. He was supposed to be doing homework while undergoing dialysis treatments, but who would dare give a sick kid an F? I was enough of a tissue match, and I gladly gave up one of mine. And things were great. Best friends forever. Until I got sick. Kidney disease. Which means Jamie's also doomed. We did some research, hacked some medical records. Found a guy nearby who's a match. And healthy, too. We'll break into his garage, cut his motorcycle's brake

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1:34

Unlisted Number

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/25

This looks like an ordinary statue, but it's actually the legendary Golem of Prague. Write a name on a piece of paper, put it in the Golem's mouth, and the Golem will hunt that person down and kill them. It's not all that discriminating. If you write JOHN SMITH on a piece of paper and stick it in its mouth, it won't just go after the John Smith you want dead. It will kill as many of them as possible. Oh, look. It's moving. I stuffed the phone book in its mouth earlier. I hope you have an unlisted

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1:19

Frozen Vegetables

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/24

I know that microwave meals aren't healthy. Too much salt, too many preservatives. Which is why my freezer is full of bags of mixed frozen vegetables. Before, I had to dump a bag into a big mug, put a small plate on the mug as a cover, and microwave it. If the bag was a solid block of veggies, it took a while to break it up to get everything into the mug. Now, the bags are microwaveable, so I can microwave them and then dump the ready contents into the mug. Either way, they also made excellent ice

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1:26

Good morning, Miss Cavanaugh

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/23

Back in my day, I went to a one-room schoolhouse.And Miss Cavanaugh taught everybody, from toddlers to teenagers. All of the kids were brought to the VR lab and hooked into the colony's computer. Jacked into our lessons individually, with a personalized lesson plan and curriculum. With our own Miss Cavanaugh. Everyone came out book smart, but even with breaks and evenings and weekends, we came out socially awkward as all hell. They changed up the simulations to include friends, rivals, cliques, and

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1:40

Jesusland

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/22

The Holy Land Theme Park doesn't have any rides. "The Gospel is the greatest ride of all time," said the park's owners. "Come take a ride with Jesus." There were protests at the opening of the park, calling their hiring practices discriminatory against non-believers. Other protests called the park a giant fraud when the owners claimed religious tax exemptions. And then there were those who accused the owners of trying to commercialize their faith. One guy in a robe and beard overturned the security

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12:30

Weekly Challenge #952 – Red Wine

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/21

Lisa Lizzie Richard Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is PICK TWO Pebbles, Shiny, A monkey’s wedding, Footlights, Listen, Birthday cake NORVAL JOE "It sounds like your dad is getting pretty bad." Billbert paused before he asked, "Has he hit you?" "No," Mandi said, sadly. "Not yet, at least. If he starts to get too worked up, Mother gives him some red wine." "Wine!" Billbert gasped. "Is giving him alcohol a good idea?" Mandi waved her hands. "No. It's

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2:01

The Temple of Dreams

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/20

Once a year, we go to the temple of dreams to dream. The priests welcome us in, past a crowd of stumbling people Sitting out in the hot sun, sweating out our sins. Writing our prayers on strips of paper. Lighting the sacred lamps, filled with sacred oil, and burning our prayers. The smoke, rising to the gods. As the sun goes down, we pass out, and we dream. The gods tell us things, things for us and us alone. Waking up the next morning, thirsty and hungry. The priests usher us out the gates and

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1:33

Princess and the Frog

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/19

We should have never read "The Frog and The Princess" to Melanie. Every night, she wants us to read her that story. And now, her room has frog pillows, lilypad rugs on the blue carpet, and a frog night light. She even made me put up frog wallpaper. One night, Melanie snuck out to the swamp, looking for frogs. I don't know if she was trying to kiss them or put them in a bowl to keep as pets. The sheriff found her, and it took her a while to shake off that pneumonia. And longer for her frog

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1:44

Deadbeat dads

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/18

Han Solo became a deadbeat dad. Luke Skywalker, a failed teacher and pathetic hermit. Willow... whatever that midget's name was, a squib of a sorcerer. While the hero, Mad Mordigan, dies offscreen of toxic masculinity. The last of the heroes, Indiana Jones, a sad, worn out old man, dragged across the world by his goddaughter, until shot in the chest and begging to be left to die. Queen Kathleen looks over the graveyard of Lucasfilm heroes and grins. Her plan complete. Bob Iger taps her on the

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1:24

John makes a wish

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/17

It didn't matter how long it took John to get back from the liquor store.His parents would beat him with a belt for being so slow. So, he'd sit on the curb and watch the stars. And when he saw a shooting star, he'd made a wish. One day, that wish came true. The house was gone. Just a flaming crater. Years later, he made a ring from the meteorite. Proposed to his girlfriend with it. She handed it back. Nobody's seen John since them. Not at school, not at church, not at graduation. Maybe he made

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1:43

Sagan

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/16

I thought back to the days when I watched Carl Sagan's Cosmos, all the wonder and hope and fear and challenge.So much potential our species has... had... Hearing the sirens blare, the warnings on the television. It started with one bomb... then another... and then... too many to count. Cities, countries vanishing in flashes of light and heat and fire and the most powerful winds to sweep across the world. So few survived... so few wanted to survive. All the hopes and dreams for the future, gone in

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2:06

The circus comes to town

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/15

The circus train comes through Rockport twice a season, but when it stops at the station, it just takes on coal and water. Kids are kept in school that day, the sheriff's orders. Still, some manage to sneak out, and they see roughnecks wave through the windows, lions pace in their cages, and elephants trunks reaching through the bars. The sheriff fires his shotgun in the sky, and the kids scatter. A letter falls from a window, DEAR FATHER, I MISS YOU. The sheriff doesn't look, just crumbles it

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21:28

Weekly Challenge #951 – Screen

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/14

Lisa Lizzie Richard Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is Red Wine RICHARD + Part of the team + I frequently work from home. It's no big deal, I don't need to be in an office and I can get far more done, and far more efficiently than if I had to waste time and effort to get there. Some people struggle with the concept though - I can tell by the looks they give me during meetings on Teams. Even when I use a background, it's clear that they know. And

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2:11

The kite-hating tree

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/13

Every day, Charlie Brown would get a new kite, and without fail, it would end up in the kite-eating tree. He never gave up. He kept trying. And he kept failing. One day, he flew a rainbow-colored kite, and the kite ate it. "This tree is a LGBT-hating tree!" shouted Charlie. Peppermint Patty and Marcie showed up with axes, and they chopped down the tree. Yes, I know, there's no such things as a gay-hating tree. Marcie the Genius should know better. However, Charlie had borrowed her kite, so she was a

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1:25

Give a man

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/12

We all know the old adage: Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Well, if you give the man other animals, strange things happen. If you give a man a goose, he'll punch you and tell you to stop. If you give a man a slug, he'll punch you back harder. If you give a man a ram... well... I'm not getting into that. And if you give a man a fly, he can finally take a leak without having to pull down his pants. Just in case you were thinking about giving him a ram.

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2:37

Return to the theatres

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/11

I remember going to Return of the Jedi when I was thirteen. The whole family, my grandparents, too. My grandmother looked like Yoda. There were movie booklets for sale in the lobby. We bought one, and passed it around to read while waiting in line for two hours. Well, okay... when it got to my brother, he read it and kept reading it, and I never got to see it until after the movie. By the time we were seated, we'd already eaten all the popcorn and drank all the sodas. So, seriously... fuck movie

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1:34

Between the wars

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/10

In between the world wars, the Germans were prohibited from developing military aircraft and vehicles.As if. They developed mail planes that could be quickly converted to bombers, and airliners that could also serve as troop transports. The British were painfully oblivious to these dual-purpose vehicles, to the point that Germans were blatantly building tanks and calling them milk trucks and school busses. "Oh, did I say this was a school bus?" says a grinning German diplomat, leaning on a tank. "I

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1:51

In the cool air

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/09

It's still in the 70's at night, but hopefully it will get colder soon.I sleep better when it's colder. Air conditioning isn't quite the same as actual mild weather. Nor is one of those cooling blankets. Nothing quite like sipping a glass of milk, laying back in a recliner outside, and taking a nap in the mild chill of a fall evening. Watching the starsat night, but it's good to have a patio umbrella in case it rains. The rain is a nice sound to fall asleep to. Real rain. Even with recordings, I

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1:46

Extra Extra Rollercoaster

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/08

My weight rollercoasters a lot, so I go from Extra Large shirts to Extra Extra Large shirts and back again. And my underwear and shorts waist sizes fluctuate with the shirt sizes. Whenever I change sizes, I try to keep the stuff from the other size in storage, knowing I'll be that size again eventually. But at some point, I get frustrated, and I dump all those clothes in a donation bin. That's when I get back to my workout routine and lose the weight. Or give up my workout routine, and gain it

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