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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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1:06

Important day

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/03/02

Today is an important day. I wrote IMPORTANT on the calendar. But I don't remember why it is important. I looked through my mail and my notes, but there's nothing telling me what's so important today. I haven't gotten any phone calls or emails or other messages about today. I've asked everybody I know, but they have nothing... they need nothing from me, so it's not something important I have to do for them. So, I'll just stop worrying and go through my day. And if anything comes up tomorrow, or

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1:15

100 pegs

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/03/01

One hundred pegs along the wall of the cliffside monastery. A brown robe hanging from each. The monks had hung their robes on the pegs, filed out of the dormitory, and out the front gate. Lining up at the edge of the cliff, one by one, the naked men leapt to their deaths. Later that evening, one hundred naked men arrived at the gate. They walked into the dormitory, picked out a robe, and put it on. The new monks of the monastery. Saying prayers together, praising their creator. Until it was time for

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1:09

Sarah doesn’t have

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/29

Sarah doesn't have nightmares. She doesn't need them. She just remembers everything bad that's ever happened to her. And that's a lot of bad things. Horrible things. Terrifying things. When she wakes up, she writes down all the memories. After a cup of coffee and a bowl of yogurt, she looks over her notes, and begins to write. At the end of the day, she sends her writing to her editor. Dinner, walking in the evening light, a shower, and off to bed. For more memories to harvest. And turn into

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1:16

Campaign season

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/28

As November rolls around again, it's the return of campaign season. The ads and social networks are a cesspool of delusion and madness. I can avoid them as best I can. But my phone? BING! BING! BING! You're not campaign volunteers. You're goddamned parasites. I turned off text alerts and vibration last week. When do I look at my phone, I Report Junk on every campaign text. And then go back to what I was doing. I'll turn it back on when this year's shitshow ends, the credits roll, and the pundits

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1:17

The fourth of July

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/27

Every year, Nathan's Famous sets up the tables and chairs for the contestants. Trays of hot dogs and buns, and pitchers of water. The crowd gathers, the contestants take their seats, and the judges set out the trays. The crowd counts down from ten... nine... eight... When they get to zero, the contestants peel out the hot dogs, swallow them, then dunk the buns in the pitchers and swallow the buns. The judges keep tally... ten... twenty... thirty... Some contestants stop... others vomit... but a few

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1:18

The crawl of fame

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/26

The walk of fame is just a bunch of names on plaques in a sleazy part of Los Angeles. Weirdos in costumes harass the tourists, and pickpockets steal whatever they can get their hands on. Or you get mugged and robbed and you're crawling on the ground asking for help. It's the walk of fame, not the crawl of fame, loser. Show some dignity. Get the fuck up. This is Hollywood, dammit. And stop bleeding on Charleton Heston. Well, his star... not the actual man. I can take your picture with it for five

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12:54

Weekly Challenge #931 PICK TWO Free gift, Long live...

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/25

LisaLizzie Richard Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is Across LISA It feels like weeks since we’ve seen ‘no 1’ and It hits me that we don’t know the date. I wonder if we’d get one if we asked for a newspaper. There’s not much to do–most of us are writing something now mostly just scribbled thoughts. We laugh playing with the free gift on the breakfast cereal. Laughter always makes us sad afterwards. The basement becomes quieter and more subdued

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1:16

Smart Monitor

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/25

My doctor told me to lose weight, eat less sugar, lower my cholesterol and blood pressure, and exercise more. So I got a smart scale, a smart watch, a smart treadmill, and a blood pressure monitor. And for the past few months, I've dropped 30 pounds, my blood pressure is normal, and all my numbers are much better. All those numbers are reported to my doctor's office. She doesn't believe any of it. "Who did you pay to take all those tests for you?" she asked. "Nobody," I said. And I don't have enough

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1:15

NDA

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/24

Yes, I write. And I've been published. Well, my work has been published. Me, I prefer a low profile. Pseudonyms and ghost-writing. Let someone else take the credit, I just want the money and the challenge of writing. Sometimes, the people I ghost-write for don't honor the contract. They refuse to pay. So I offer to write for their political opponent or enemy, or go to the press with what they told me. "The contract includes the non disclosure agreement," I say. They threaten lawyers. They threaten

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1:11

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/23

In baseball, pitchers tend not to be good hitters. In the American League, they have a designated hitter. Instead of the pitcher batting, they have someone else bat for him. Players who don't field well often are designated hitters. In the National League, they make pitchers bat. Or a pinch hitter bats for them, and then another pitcher has to take over pitching for them. Major League Baseball saw that pitchers were an easy out or would bunt a runner along the bases. So, they decided to relieve all

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1:21

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/22

The biggest word I've ever used is no. When Enron collapsed and they were taking down the giant letters over the scoreboard at Enron Field in Houston, I was the IT Manager of a television station. And there was a project to run fiber from the station to the stadium for video and data. I convinced the crane operators to put the N and O together and I stood in front of them with an angry pose. Someone took a photo for me, and it looked hilarious. But over the years, I lost that photo. I still have the

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1:14

Carry the load

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/21

I don't pry. I don't ask. I find it to be rude to ask too much. But it's strange... the less you ask people, the more they trust you with. Some things are small. Other things are big. And then there's the things that are huge. Too big for them to carry. So, they tell you, to help them carry. You might think that the more people who carry, the lighter it is for everyone, that isn't how it works. Trust doesn't work that way. It's a lot to carry. But you will. And they will help you carry yours.

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1:23

Patton

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/20

A simple white cross. Just like thousands more at the cemetery. Far, far away in a distant land they gave their lives for. His name. His rank. His hometown. And the date of his death. That's all. Nothing special. Sure, it is set apart from the others. A low chain fence, some flagstones. Some bushes around a small plot of grass. But no statues of angels, no lights. No wreaths or flowers. No cannon. And no flags. Just a soldier with his men. In eternal rest. Not killed in battle, like so many

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11:15

Weekly Challenge #930 – Car Crash

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/18

A day late, but not a dollar short... Lisa Richard Lizzie Serendipidy Tom Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is PICK TWO Free gift, Long live The King, Hit, Scribble, France, Waterfall LISA A different man comes to the door this morning. His face is less gentle. He stares too long at all of us as he pops the box down. I see it in his profile a brother or a cousin, definitely a relative. It’s awkward. He stands staring for too long. We stare back expectantly

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1:15

The robot umpire

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/17

People call it a robotic umpire, but it's a combination of radar guns, cameras, and computers. The system gathers up all the data and tells the guy behind the plate if it's a strike or a ball. It doesn't scan whether a swing goes around. It doesn't judge foul tips. It doesn't call safe or out on bases, foul or fair balls, or other important calls that umpires mess up. Nor does it sue the league for accusations of racism because it gets passed up for promoton. Which is why it's still in the minor

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1:04

Got to get into a fight

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/02/16

I paid fifty bucks for the pay-per-view fight. Ordered a bunch of pizzas and picked up a keg. Moved the big TV to the patio, dragged out the sofa and chairs, and rented some more. Put out some lawn games, cornhole, that kind of thing. Put up a chalkboard for anyone who wanted to make any wagers. Winner. Loser. Round. Knockdowns and knockouts. People parked in the driveway, the yard, along the street. Neighbors came over, too. The fight lasted twenty-six seconds. But the party lasted all night

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