PODCAST

Sexy Marriage Radio

Dr Corey and Pam Allan

Straight-forward, honest conversations and actions to create a life and marriage fully alive!

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

31:46

Best Of SMR: What Is Normal? #685

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/07/17

This week is a Best Of SMR!A wife calls in wanting to know how to handle her husband's struggle with pornography. A husband calls in asking for help in how to talk about sex with his wife, who was raised in a way that she won't even talk about it. Takeaways Struggles with pornography in marriage are common and can be addressed through open and honest communication. Having conversations about sex with a spouse who has difficulty talking about it requires patience and understanding. It is important

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32:20

Revisiting Intimacy Anorexia Or Is It Cruelty? #684

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/07/10

On today's episode we we revisit an old episode of SMR.Our conversation explores the concept of intimacy anorexia and the pain of love cycle of abuse and neglect in marriage. We discuss the experience of being in a sexless marriage and the frustration of not having one's physical needs met. We also examine the dynamics of deliberate withholding of love and intimacy and the cruelty that can arise from it. Takeaways Intimacy in a relationship involves both knowing and being known. Deliberate

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33:36

Exploring The Meaning Of His Erection #683

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/07/03

On today's episode we discuss various topics related to marriage and sex.We cover two segments from previous episodes, one about a couple who stopped fighting after improving their sex life, and another about a wife who is not attracted to her husband's penis. What are the deeper meanings and implications of these issues, emphasizing the importance of understanding oneself and one's spouse. Takeaways Open and honest conversations are essential for a healthy marriage and sex life. Understanding

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24:33

My Arousal Template Live From The SMR Getaway #682

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/06/26

This week was recorded live the 2024 SMR Getaway Q&A.We answer a voicemail from a listener who has realized that since they began listening to SMR and talking more about their sex lives with each other, they don't fight anymore. We also have an email from a husband who is aroused by big, beautiful women, yet married a woman who is not. Instead she was safe and mature. What can he do? On the Xtended Version ... In the XTD content, a listen into the Q&A session of 2024 SMR Getaway. Enjoy the

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26:54

Rapid Fire Q&A Live From The Getaway #681

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/06/19

This week is a rapid fire Q&A - recorded live from the 2024 SMR Getaway. We discuss topics such as how to get turned on by seeing a partner's penis, how to improve desire in a low-drive spouse during a stressful time, how much time couples typically spend on sex, and how to teach kids healthy sexual boundaries without invoking shame. We emphasize the importance of open communication, setting boundaries, and creating opportunities for connection in relationships. We also discuss the need to let go of

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Anxiety As A Smoke Signal | Dr John Delony #680

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/06/12

Dr. John Delony joins me as we talk through the concept of anxiety as a smoke signal, indicating that something is amiss in our lives.He encourages individuals to face their discomfort and choose the hard path of growth and change (sound familiar?). He also highlights the significance of belief in something bigger than ourselves and the need to drive our own lives instead of trying to control others. Lastly, we discuss the importance of self-awareness and taking responsibility for our own actions

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Discovery Of A Spouse’s Betrayal | Tyler and Brannon...

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/06/05

In this conversation, Dr Corey is joined by Tyler and Brannon Patrick, also known as The Therapy Brothers, as they discuss the topic of betrayal, trauma, addiction, and infidelity in marriages.They emphasize the importance of addressing the underlying issues and not just focusing on the specific behavior, such as pornography usage. There is a need for honesty, accountability, transparency, and living in alignment with personal values. Plus we also discuss the role of individual healing and growth

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Turn Criticism Into Connection | Dr Jessica Higgins #678

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/05/29

In this conversation, Dr Jessica Higgins joins me as we discuss the topic of criticism in relationships.We explore how criticism can be damaging -- but we also offer strategies for addressing it. It is so, so important to slow the process down, get curious, and reveal the underlying needs and requests. Learn more from Dr Higgins - https://drjessicahiggins.com/ Empowered Relationship Podcast link: https://drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Get the free guide here -

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24:06

Love Languages and Sexual Attraction #677

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/05/22

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, Dr Corey and Pam discuss the importance of flexibility in marriage and how it relates to facing and dealing with reality.We explore the concept of love languages and how they may not always lead to more desire or passion in a relationship. What is the difference between being a good companion and being a good lover? And what's the role of presence and initiation in igniting sexual attraction? Takeaways Flexibility is crucial in marriage as it allows couples

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25:21

The Masculine In Relationship | GS Youngblood #676

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/05/15

In this conversation, GS Youngblood joins me as we discuss his blueprint for masculinity in relationships, which focuses on three elements: respond versus react, provide structure, and create safety. He emphasizes the importance of simplicity, relationality, and applicability in his framework. We highlight the significance of emotional resonance, co-regulation, and curiosity in creating a safe and connected relationship. Learn more from GS Youngblood here - https://www.gsyoungblood.com/ Takeaways GS

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47:00

Come Together | Dr Emily Nagoski #675

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/05/08

In this conversation, Emily Nagoski joins me as we discuss the creation of her new book on long-term relationships and lasting connections. We explore the concept of normal sex and the importance of pleasure, authenticity, connection, and vulnerability in maintaining a strong sexual connection. We also dive into the impact of societal myths and expectations on sexual relationships and the need for open and honest communication about desires and boundaries. In our conversation, we discuss the

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29:45

Initiation Mistakes Married People Make #674

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/05/01

In this episode we discuss common mistakes that married couples make when it comes to initiating sex. There are dynamics of higher desire and lower desire and patterns that make these mistakes so each to make. We cover six common mistakes: getting annoyed at being the one who initiates, using covert or roundabout methods of initiation, joking or crude initiations, feeling the need to be as turned on as your partner, using the same initiation method every time, and talking yourself out of

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30:17

Minimalism and Marriage | Joshua Becker #673

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/04/24

On the Regular Version ... In this conversation, and old blogging friend, Joshua Becker, joins me to discuss the journey and benefits of minimalism. We talk about his personal experience with minimalism and how it has positively impacted his life, relationships, and finances. We also explore strategies for dealing with a spouse's resistance to minimalism and the importance of the master bedroom as a sanctuary. Joshua also emphasizes the need for love, patience, and humility when approaching

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21:33

Have Sex First on Date Night #672

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/04/17

In this episode, we discuss the importance of date nights in marriage and offer a unique tip to make them more enjoyable.It's the idea of having sex before going out on a date to possibly relieve the pressure and create a deeper connection. We provide practical ideas for incorporating this tip into date nights, such as getting ready together, having sex in the morning, or asking the babysitter to take the kids out for a while. It is also important to expand and challenge the script of traditional

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44:42

The Idea Of Sex | Dr Marty Klein #671

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/04/10

In this conversation, Dr. Marty Klein joins me and discusses the importance of reframing the conversation around sex and challenging our ideas about sexuality.We emphasize that sex is not just a behavior, but an idea, and that our ideas about sex shape our experiences. He highlights the need for individuals to have a sense of agency and the ability to shape their own sexual experiences. We also address common conceptions people have about sex, such as the belief that it should be a continuous,

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38:03

Jealousy and Insecurity | Shanenn Bryant #670

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/04/03

This week let's talk about jealousy. Shanenn Bryant joins me for a conversation about overcoming jealousy in relationships.Shanenn shares her personal journey with jealousy and how she discovered that she was not alone in experiencing these feelings. She explains that jealousy is often rooted in past experiences and a lack of self-worth. The conversation provides practical steps for moving forward and overcoming jealousy, including identifying and changing insecure habits. We also discuss the

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28:04

Want To Be Wanted But Don’t Want To Want #669

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/03/27

In this episode, we dive into how marriage is simple but difficult, and emphasize the importance of honest conversations.Then we move into the main focus of the episode -- an email from a husband who feels that his wife wants to be wanted but doesn't want to want. There are complexities of desire discrepancy and sexual frustration in every marriage. So waht do we do with them? We also touch on the vulnerability and shame associated with discussing sexuality and the deeper parts of our

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44:31

Procrastination and Resistance | Tripp Lanier #668

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/03/20

In this conversation, Tripp Lanier joins me as we discuss the importance of self-reflection, understanding self, and overcoming resistance.We explore the impact of scripts, narratives, and parts in our lives and the need to integrate different aspects of ourselves. Our conversation also dives into the balance between love and boundaries in relationships and the power of acceptance and forgiveness. We wrap up by discussing the importance of taking personal responsibility for our happiness and

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38:23

Initiating Intimacy | Rachel Facio and Stacey...

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/03/13

In this conversation, I'm joined by Stacey Sherrell and Rachel Faccio from Decoding Couples.We have a great conversation about the transition from normal married life to intimacy, the importance of creating margin, and the different desire levels in a relationship. We also explore the role of initiation and rejection in sexual activity, as well as the significance of character and emotional intimacy. Our conversation emphasizes the importance of communication, playfulness, and understanding each

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39:15

Normal Marital Sadism #666

Sexy Marriage Radio ·

2024/03/06

In this episode, in recognition of this being episode 666, we go a bit dark and discuss the concept of normal marital sadism (a term coined by Dr David Schnarch), which refers to the intentional infliction of pain, cruelty, and hurt within a marriage.We explore various examples of normal marital sadism, such as poking fun at and embarrassing a spouse, lying to inflict pain, restricting the autonomy of your spouse, and manipulating them to establish compliance or gain dominance. Our conversation

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