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PODCAST

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating

Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

Real talk about cheating, delivered by friends who get it. Your hosts are Tracy Schorn, aka Chump Lady who runs the advice site ChumpLady.com, and Sarah Gorrell, a radio journalist and mighty single mum of four. We talk with resilient people who survived infidelity and to experts about cheaters, relationships, parenting, and, of course, mightiness. Sarah brings the dulcet tones. Tracy brings the snark. New episodes every week.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

44:24

65. The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards: An Interview...

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/11/26

After Jessica Waite's husband suddenly died of a heart attack, she discovered the extent of his double life -- long-term affairs, prostitutes, debt and drug use. In her memoir, "The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards" she describes how she survived this devastating betrayal, came to terms with her late husband's memory, raised their son alone, and rebuilt her life. She discusses with Tracy how she decided to not keep his secrets and voiced her own truth instead.

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18:20

64. 10 Ways to Cope When Jerks Win

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/11/19

Tracy, as Chump Lady, has made quite a study of overcoming oppressive jerks. In this recorded pep talk, she expands on a recent blog post she wrote on how to eat the shit sandwich of injustice and keep on going.

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28:54

63. What Did You Replace Your Cheater With?

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/11/12

A woman writes to say she swapped her cheating husband for a Roomba. Her new appliance vacuums, never gaslights her, and comes back to its home port every night. We asked: What did you replace your cheater with? We've got upgrades of every kind. And cats. A lot of cats.

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50:13

How Did You Discover the Cheating?

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/10/29

Listeners discuss how they discovered their partners were cheating. From putting spy apps on a phone, to the idiot who forgot the Ring camera was recording, to the cheater who inadvertently alerted the private investigator to what car his Schmoopie drives. Sarah and Tracy react to the cheater hijinks and how cheaters underestimate their chumps.

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01:01:33

'Cheating Is Abuse,' An Interview with Nell Hudson

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/10/22

Tracy talks with writer and actress Nell Hudson about her eight-year relationship with a man who had a double life -- which she discovered on their anniversary. What he excused as another woman's infatuation with him, turned out to be an entire history of serial cheating with multiple partners. Tracy and Nell discuss the cultural narratives around infidelity, why we don't call it abuse, and what it means to be a feminist and a chump.

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24:03

What If You Can't Escape the Affair Partner?

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/10/15

In this episode, Sarah and Tracy react to a letter from a woman who lives in the same small town as her ex and the affair partner -- her former friend. Worse, she has to interact with this person at her job. What's the answer? Move away or learn how to coexist? We also hear from two listeners, one with a red flag story on lying, and a mighty single dad who's crushing the sane parenting gig.

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37:59

Red Flags of Cheating

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/10/08

The furtive bathroom visits with the cell phone, strange moods, and bizzare accusations that you're cheating -- in this episode we look at all the red flags that you're with a cheater. Hindsight is 20/20, but when you look back, what were the signs?

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30:25

Did Anyone Get Pregnant During the Affair?

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/10/01

In this episode, we discuss the intersection of pregnancy and infidelity. The mistresses who got pregnant. The chumps who got cheated on while pregnant, or going through fertility treatments. The guy chumps who had to paternity test their kids. The "OMG I think I'm pregnant" Hail Mary play by mistresses to win the pick me dance. How children of affairs navigate the complicated stories of their parents. DNA surprises, half-siblings. We get into all the messiness of FWs who reproduce.

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39:18

Who Else Did You Lose in the Divorce/Breakup?

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/09/24

When you lost a cheater, who else did you lose in the breakup? People often think infidelity is just a private matter between a couple, and not a larger conspiracy, as it often turns out to be. In the end, you may lose “friends” who were affair partners, those who knew and didn’t tell you, and the Switzerland folks who don’t want to take sides. Listeners share their stories of who they lost, who they culled, and who they don't miss.

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24:46

Should You Confront an Affair Partner?

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/09/17

A woman writes in to Tracy and Sarah after suspecting that her best friend has been cheating with her now ex-husband. This friend has been cagey, unsupportive, and just admitted that she's been a cheater before. The letter writer wants to confront her friend about her behavior, but should she? Would it be better to ghost her instead? Or let it blow over?

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20:56

Cheating Tropes and How to Defang Them

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/09/10

With the recent buzz about Chump Nation in the New Yorker and the Cut, Tracy takes on the haters. Consider it a teaching opportunity. Here's three common infidelity tropes and how to defang them: Bothsiderism (What did you do to make them cheat?); Infidelity is complex (You're a black and white thinker); and Quit Playing the Victim (You're too bitter and emotional).

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53:51

The Walls In Your House Will Sing

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/09/03

Tracy talks with her 83-year old Aunt Joy about what it was like to divorce a cheater in the 1970s. A time when women couldn't get credit without their husbands' signatures, had no workplace protections, and being a single mother was considered a personal failure. Aunt Joy is famous on the Chump Lady blog for the expression "the walls in your house will sing" -- that feeling of freedom and relief when you get a toxic person out of your life. Aunt Joy shares how she rebuilt, married a fellow chump,

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46:03

Those Who Didn't 'Stay Together for the Children'

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/08/27

We hear from listeners who didn't stay together for the children (or weren't able to, because one parent abandoned ship), and who raised children on their own. Despite the single parent doom and gloom warnings, the kids turned out great and homelife is peaceful. If you're in the trenches of single parenting, this episode is for you. Take it from two single moms -- (Tracy formerly, Sarah presently) -- you've got this.

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29:24

D-Day Two Months After the Wedding

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/08/20

She got married two months ago, only to discover her new husband has been cheating with his colleague -- her friend. He wants to go to Italy with the Other Woman to "explore his feelings" and wants her to wait for him. Instead, she moved out and remains heartbroken. "How can someone you love treat you this way?" Tracy and Sarah react to this guy's mindfuckery and entitlement. And the treachery of the OW.

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38:25

Stupid Things Cheaters Say, Part 2

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/08/13

So many stupid things cheaters say, it warranted a second podcast of your submissions. The Other Woman who is "rooting" for the chump's marriage. The introspective cheater who sighs, "I just don't know how to love..." The minimization of "Hey, I'm not an axe murderer." All the stupid right here. Again.

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31:47

Stupid Things Cheaters Say

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/08/06

Cheaters say the darndest things. In this episode, Sarah and Tracy react to your Stupid Sh*t Cheaters Say submissions. The suggestion that you would like the affair partner if you only knew them. The sad sausage bleatings. The cruelty of your consequences. How could you?!

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33:06

How Did You Pick Me Dance to Win a Cheater?

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/07/23

How pretty did you pick me dance to win a cheater? Did you lose weight? Up your sex game? Spend less time with the children? Were you aware you were in a life or death pick me spiral with Schmoopie, or did you sense it? In this episode, Sarah and Tracy react to your pick me dance stories shared on voicemail and social media. (We picked you!)

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01:07:56

Fesshole Cheater Confessions: An Interview with Rob...

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/07/11

Rob Manuel is the creator of the social media phenomenon FessHole, where people anonymously share their darkest, most mortifying secrets. In this episode, Rob's curated his best cheater (and wannabe cheater) confessions. The dead bedroom cheaters. The woman who wants someone to come clean her house. The guy who wants his partner to cheat on him because he's too gutless to dump his girlfriend honestly. Sarah and Tracy weigh in. Need more secrets? Check out Fesshole The Podcast.

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14:20

A Cheater Asks for Advice

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/07/09

A self-professed cheater leaves Sarah and Tracy a voicemail asking how he can make amends for being unfaithful. He doesn't wish to reconcile -- they're going to divorce. But how can he rehabilitate his image going forward as co-parents. Tracy offers some thoughts on how to kick the entitlement habit and Sarah provides the sobering, yet friendly, cynicism that this advice probably will not be followed.

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50:58

Liars: An Interview with Sarah Manguso

Tell Me How You"re Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating ·

2024/07/02

Sarah Manguso has written the ultimate chump novel: Liars. Jane is a woman who endures marriage to, and divorce from, a textbook fuckwit. It dramatizes marital betrayal, narcissistic abuse, and coercive control in a way we all know deep in our bones. Manguso says, "It’s a novel, so of course it’s all fiction—except for the parts that are true." During the pandemic, Manguso's cheating husband abandoned her and their son. It became fodder for Liars. She the author of nine books, most recently the

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