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PODCAST

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

Heidi Benjaminsen

Heidi Benjaminsen helps women transform stress into calm, fear into confidence and anxiety into peace when sending their children to college! Listen to hear tips and tools so you can be someone that your child WANTS to call and connect with. Learn more at www.heidibenjaminsen.com!

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

12:23

Ep. 140 When People Hurt Us

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/07/27

We all are going to get accidentally and intentionally hurt by others because we’re all human. When we do get hurt (especially when there is no intent), we need to understand the purpose of pain, the purpose of guilt and be able to sit with the discomfort of both. We are responsible to validate and express our pain, while also NOT hurting back. We do not need to “take away” the guilt the other person feels, even when they hurt by accident. Guilt teaches us a lesson. Listen to hear how Heidi

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12:48

Ep. 139 Arrogance and Confidence

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/07/13

Arrogance is not confidence, although some may confuse the two and think they are the same. Arrogant people have a low self-esteem, they are constantly comparing themselves to others and need to be better to feel good. Confident people, on the other hand, like themselves and do not need to compare themselves outward to feel good. Listen to Heidi explain the difference between arrogance and confidence and hear examples of how these emotions look different when we interact with the world.

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29:51

Ep. 138 Reaching Impossible Goals with Felicia Broccolo

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/07/06

Running a marathon, writing a book, making $1 million dollars, starting a restaurant, getting re-married… some of these feel IMPOSSIBLE to us. But they are not impossible if we decide we REALLY want to do them. Listen to Heidi talk with Felicia Broccolo, a coach who helps women turn the impossible into reality. Learn how to anticipate obstacles, why goal setting is important for mothers with children and how to find your own accountability partners. If you’d like more information about Felicia,

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12:36

Ep. 137 Connecting with Questions

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/06/29

Asking questions that actually get your teen talking to you is a skill and one of the most powerful tools we have to create lasting relationships. We have to remember we DON’T know what they are thinking and we have to be genuinely curious. Listen as Heidi shares ways to change our mindset and ways to ask questions that get your teen talking. Learn why it’s important to pause and listen and how to remove judgment from our responses. Then prepare yourself to really hear what is on their mind!

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12:22

Ep. 136 Accepting Compliments

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/06/08

Raise your hand if you have a hard time accepting compliments. I hope that we all have our hands raised. I know I do. But why is that? Social Scientists have a lot of ideas why, and we can talk about those in this episode, but it all boils down to why we bat that compliment away and don’t receive the nice gift that has been given to us. That’s not right, is it? It’s not a sign of humility and meekness to not accept compliments, but it is a way to not create connections in your life. Listen to this

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19:20

Ep. 127 What Confident People Say

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/06/06

Confident people use certain words and tone of voice that reflect they are okay with who they are and that they accept their strengths and weaknesses. Confident people don't over-explain or desperately need other people to understand their choices. Confidence doesn't put other people down, which reveals our insecurities. Confident people can be happy for other people. Heidi shares many situations and phrases to use to show up confidence and when to stay confidently quiet.

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37:31

Ep. 135 The Ripple Effects of a Confident Mother:...

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/05/25

When a mother invests in her own confidence, security and self-love, she is in a position to “gift” these same emotions to her children. Listen to the beautiful episode where I interview a client and friend of mine who has done some amazing work over the past year. Alisha shares her insecurities before coaching, specifically her worry about telling her youngest daughter she is adopted. Listen to hear the beautiful story of what Alisha learned and the impact her own growth has had on her

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19:54

Ep. 134 When Our Children Leave "The Path"

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/05/18

Heidi shares a story about a trip she took a few years ago, where her GPS took her off the “direct path” and a beautiful trip that unfolded. Heidi shares many lessons from this trip about the options for worry, stress or calm and relaxation as our GPS (or the GPS of our teens) takes them on a path different from others. Learn helpful ways to support (and not disconnect from) friends on their own paths.

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18:48

Ep. 133 Envy and Jealousy

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/05/11

Envy and jealousy are emotions that, if they drive our lives, create disconnection with others and block gratitude and love. The more we like ourselves, the more we can manage our jealousy and love others. Listen as Heidi gives examples of how we act when jealous (critical, shaming, talking about others behind their back, judging) including specific things we say. Learn two tricks - one internal and one external - to turn jealousy into gratitude and confidence.

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18:15

Ep. 132 Putting People on Pedestals

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/05/04

We mentally put people on pedestals when we elevate everything about them to be amazing, perfect, the greatest of all time, etc. This isn’t just admiring and respecting these people - this is expecting them to be perfect in all ways because they do excel in some ways. When we do this, we create disconnection with these people we revere and we’re set up to always be disappointed - because no one is perfect. Listen as Heidi explains why elevating people to mental pedestals is so damaging to

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13:24

Ep. 131 Normalizing Negative Emotions

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/04/27

Often we share with others how excited and happy we are to do new, exciting things... and we forget to mention that we're ALSO scared, nervous and fearful. Social media is full of excitement and we rarely post about how terrified we were as well during the adventure. Listen as Heidi shares several examples of why it is important to label and discuss the negative we feel so our teens know these emotions are normal. Knowing these emotions are normal and human will allow our teens to take action and

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17:38

Ep. 130 Empathetic Responses

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/04/20

Everyone wants to know their feelings and experiences are "okay" and normal, and we seek this validation from other people. Our teens are especially anxious that everything they are feeling is "normal". Empathy is the fuel that will ground and anchor our teens into being confident in how they are experiencing life. They desperately want to know it's okay to feel nervous, lonely, excited, scared and ALL the human emotions. Listen as Heidi teaches you why empathy is so critical to connection with our

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17:38

Ep. 129 How To Stop Guilt Tripping Teens

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/04/13

It can be tempting to use guilt as emotional fuel to get our teens to do what we want them to do. The danger of using guilt for compliance is this models inappropriate and immature communication and manipulation. Guilt will always create resentment and disconnection - two things we all do NOT want part of our relationships with our teens. Our teens need to see us have needs and wants. They need to see us model being able to ask for what we need and own our own emotions in every situation. Listen to

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15:25

Ep. 128 Feeling Guilted into Doing Things

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/04/06

Guilt is a powerful emotional tool humans use to get other people to do things for us. But no one likes feeling "guilted" into doing things - guilt is a terrible emotion to use as fuel and it brings resentment and disconnection along with it. Listen to hear how to recognize when someone is trying to guilt you into meeting their needs and hear examples of how to effectively, directly and maturely communicate what you are, and are not, willing to do for this person. More into at

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14:39

Ep. 126 Taking The Initiative

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/03/23

Confident people take the first step, introduce themselves to others, smile, start uncomfortable conversations, apologize, invite others... confident people take the initiative. Confident people are willing to feel vulnerable and endure rejection because they want the results that come from taking the initiative - deeper relationships, more friends and connections, more money and more. Listen as Heidi shares what we fear when we hang back and examples of how to make the first move.

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16:29

Ep. 125 Anchoring Tool: Reacting vs. Responding

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/03/09

Everyday we have opportunities to either respond, or react, to our teenagers. Reacting feels out of control and creates disconnection and defensiveness. Responding requires us to anchor our emotions and take responsibility for our words and emotions. Listen as Heidi gives many examples of how to pause and get out of reaction mode. Hear phrases to use when responding and questions to ask instead of assumptions. Learn how to respond with humility, curiosity... and even when NOT to say anything at

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33:56

Ep. 124 Supporting LGBTQ Teens with Jenie Hunter

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/03/02

If you find yourself navigating how to support, love and accept an LGTBQ+ teen or loved one, listen to this conversation Heidi has with Jenie Hunter - lucky mother of an LGBTQ son, coach, podcaster and all around warm soul. Jenie shares her own journey, her fears, her mistakes and the enormous blessings she has being the mother of an LGBTQ child. Listen for tools of how to handle conversations and how to deepen your spiritual relationship to get your own guidance. As Jenie said... the Lord speaks to

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08:24

Ep. 123 Having Faith is Hard

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/02/23

Life is hard. Having the faith to keep showing up, putting one foot in front of another, to face the struggles and uncertainty of a new day... is hard. In this episode Heidi shares how she has been dealing with the hard of life recently. Its easy to think other people aren't feeling the hard like you are... but in reality... we are. We just don't see what other people are carrying. If its getting too much for you, rest. And know it IS hard. You aren't alone.

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12:21

Ep. 122 How To Observe Your Thoughts

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/02/16

The first skill to anchor our emotions and beliefs is to learn how to watch and observe our thoughts. Being able to identify what is going on in our brain gives us power over what we are thinking and creating in life. Listen as Heidi explains how to stop, get still and observe what is going on in your head. Heidi teaches we are not our thoughts, we can't believe and act on everything that runs through our head. Learning how to observe and question what you are thinking brings emotional control and

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14:51

Ep. 121 Loving Difficult People

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/02/09

We all have someone in our life who seems "difficult", a child who triggers everything about us, an in-law or neighbor who constantly rubs us the wrong way. Learning how to love these people is a gift we give ourselves - WE get to feel better, we grow in our capacity to accept differences. Listen as Heidi lists many "love facts" with examples of how these truths are all tools to increase our capacity to love these "difficult" people. Which is good... since sometimes WE ourselves are that person

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