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PODCAST

Four Guys on a Train

Four Guys on a Train

Four Guys on a Train isn’t curing diseases or teaching children to be kind to one another, thus making this world we live in a little bit better. Instead, every week, Pete, Rick, and Branden will regale you with a variety of complicated nonsense. Drama, comedy, maybe a little romance? Probably not. But the first two. Or the second one only. Improvisational humor never felt so adequate!

comedy

All Episodes

00:46:09

Episode 21: (feat. The Jumpingjacker)

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/05/11

If you were a pizza, what pizza would you be? No wrong answers! The gentlemen bemoan the inverse relation of cacao percentage to morsel flavorfulness, send up a classic Christian cartoony tune in a new Modern Day Poets, then grab the pigskin and hit the field for some rough-and-tumble American football trivia.

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00:45:52

Episode 20: Museums: Go-See’ums

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/05/04

Are you a Peeping Tom if you don't own a pair of binoculars? Legally, no! The gentlemen ponder the most interesting human-sized board games to participate in, bring on friend-of-the-show Ol’ Scratch to intercept more children’s letters to God, and use science to determine which horrifying animals they are destined to be.

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00:44:27

Episode 19: Quantum Leapt

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/04/27

I stepped on a Mousetrap, am I in Trouble? Monopo-lease call an ambulance! The gentlemen delve into the depths of dapper Pete’s most holy trousers, learn the startling origins of a much-beloved video game super star in a new Earotica, and are forced to choose their OWN adventure in a thrilling story-game of love, lust, and lascivious-sounding names.

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00:38:46

Episode 18: Homunculus Wax Lincoln

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/04/20

Are your tokens fungible? Let’s hope so! The gentlemen discuss the cryptocurrency craze, tread through the uncanny valley with some Pitchmen shenanigans, and get rated M for Mature, R for Restricted, and TV-MA for Television… Mature with a sexy jaunt through the coitus-crazed cranium of a Cosmo quiz creator.

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00:38:07

Episode 17: Scrappy Don't

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/04/13

Is the COVID vaccine supposed to beep? Depending on the brand, maybe! The gentlemen lament Branden’s loss of a beloved morning ritual, rustle up the Twitter Bandits to decipher an inscrutable Angry Birds meme, and learn important facts that could save their lives from some classic characters in an all-new Earotica Mini™.

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00:56:53

Episode 16: The Pinnacle of Litness

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/04/06

Did we dream you into life? Probably not! The gentlemen discuss the relative merits of “rolling coal and flapping pole” and find out how their pal Satan feels about a recent musical tribute, fill up their shopping carts with secret sweatshorts at The Drew House in a new Modern Day Poets, and determine who has, objectively, the best personality.

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00:41:26

Episode 15: Schrödinger's Coffee

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/03/30

Who is the fourth guy? We’ll never tell (winky face)! The gentlemen compare their darling family and friends’ kids to the horrifying Neanderthal children out there, enter a world of existential horror while writing a sitcom with Ghostrighter, and lie their way through the movie game, with hilarious results!

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01:03:21

Episode 14: Beakman’s Flat World

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/03/23

Is it illegal to order a hotdog with ketchup? You bet your butt! The gentlemen discuss street slang and hug strategies, fly with the birds into some truly twisted tweets, and attempt to quantify the relative quality of the great TV shows of our childhood.

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01:00:57

Episode 13: Bliss Funion

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/03/16

Does a back still itch if no one’s around to scratch it? Most definitely! The gentlemen rage over the rebooting of pop culture staples from their childhoods, welcome back special guest Beelzebub, Prince of Darkness, to answer some “burning” fan questions (get it, because he is from Hell), and once more plumb the depths of Buzz’s feed to learn their new, food-oriented nicknames.

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01:00:05

Episode 12: Bleep Blop and Bob 1

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/03/09

Will Conservatives give themselves hernias over these new, gender-neutral toys? Probably! The gentlemen lament the loss of a famed (robotic?) music duo, get preachy with an all-new Earotica (featuring special guest!), and play a scandalous round of Truth or Dare where secrets are revealed (no Dares allowed, as they don’t make great radio)!

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00:57:20

Episode 11: The Gamester

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/03/02

Is this the week things get back to normal after all the celebrations? You bet! The gentlemen compare a classic game show’s horniness level to its modern incarnation’s, debate the merits of a car that’s compensating for something, and meet the Gamester, a cheerful rogue who simply wants to play a game.

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00:50:12

Episode 10: The 10th Episode Spectacular!

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/02/23

It’s finally happened: The first-ever podcast to reach the illustrious 10-episode milestone! Celebrate with the gentlemen as they reflect on nine weeks of wonder and look forward to future, groundbreaking milestones.

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00:45:44

Episode 9: Spatchcock

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/02/16

Will technical and/or intestinal problems get in the way of our intrepid trio? Mostly no! The gentlemen learn some startling news about a storied Chicago institution, discover the hidden, twisted meaning within a classic rock anthem, and get some darn culture in this darn show for the first darn time with a high-class Earotica.

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00:53:09

Episode 8: Would You, Rather?

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/02/09

Is it more artistic to sing American pop songs in a Russian accent? Yes, it is! The gentlemen lament their slow descent into COVID madness, welcome their first guest to the podcast and, with his illustrious help, tackle a spicy new Earotica, and hypothesize about what, in fact, they would rather.

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00:51:36

Episode 7: The Founding Bros

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/02/02

The Hey Arnold! fanfiction has begun to trickle into our reality! The gentlemen question the validity of a dubiously credited work, quiz the Prince of Darkness on the real stories behind famous American mysteries, and attempt to differentiate between the ramblings of Yeezy (Kanye West) and Sleazy (Donald Trump).

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00:51:27

Episode 6: Human Man Hands

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/01/26

Can the human mind contain the calamity that is Cats? Not very well! The gentlemen make a new A.I. friend who tells them entertaining - albeit mean and horny - stories, and take turns pretending to be famous characters facing the peril of a mob of reporters.

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00:50:49

Episode 5: Yeezy’s Bunker

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/01/19

New year, new you? Nope, same you! The gentlemen resolve to better themselves in 2021 (assuming the hillbilly revolutionaries don’t burn our whole society to the ground), ponder a real estate purchase from a high-class survivalist, and determine scientifically who they would marry, kill, or… have coitus with? That’s how we’ll say it.

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01:04:40

Episode 4 : Cookiepuss Is Gorgeous

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/01/12

Is it soda or is it pop? Grab a Coke and let’s discuss! The gentlemen salivate over the top food trends of 2020 (per elite culture aggregator TikTok), enjoy some high-stakes WWE anime action with Earotica, and delve into whether or not they know it’s christmas time at all. (For you, it’s definitely not, thanks to standard production delays!)

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01:06:35

Episode 3: The Jack Jar

Four Guys on a Train ·

2021/01/05

The gentlemen decide to raise some green whenever they go blue - worthy cause TBD! They discuss whether aliens are among us, read some charming letters to the Prince of Darkness, and decide Gandhi and Xbox just aren’t worth saving.

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00:48:28

Episode 2: Al Gore Rhythms

Four Guys on a Train ·

2020/12/29

Can you be a fan of someone you’re friends with? No, you can’t! The gentlemen discuss whether the holidays can overstay their welcome, consider going halfsies (or thirdsies) on an expensive piece of Americana, and dissect the thoughtful lyrics of a rock ‘n roll classic.

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81 results

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