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PODCAST

Wonderland Unlocked

Courtney Hays | Mental Health Advocate and Registerd Behavioral Technician

Welcome to Wonderland Unlocked! I"m Courtney, your Peer Support Specialist, excited to guide you through a journey inspired by Alice in Wonderland. We"ll explore mental health, personal growth, and self-discovery through enchanting tales, offering insights on identity and emotional resilience. Whether you seek inspiration or feel lost, this space is for you to embrace the adventure and uncover the magic. So, grab your favorite tea or coffee, and let’s unlock the wisdom of Wonderland

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All Episodes

00:08:03

E112: Painting the Roses Red: The Family Image You’re...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/28

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E112: Painting the Roses Red: The Family Image You’re Not Allowed to RuinSmile for the photo. Don’t bring that up here. We don’t talk about that. What will people think?In this episode of Borderline in Wonderland, we explore what it’s like to grow up in a family where appearances matter more than truth. Where the pain had to be tucked away, the problems brushed under the

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00:11:50

E109: The Invitation That Never Came

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/27

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E109: The Invitation That Never CameHave you ever sat by the window of your own life, waiting for an invitation that never arrived? In this episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we explore the ache of being left out, forgotten, or deliberately uninvited—whether it was a birthday party, a family gathering, or just the simple sense of being wanted.Through the lens of Borderline in

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00:07:48

E111: The Stigma Stamp: When Mental Health Becomes...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/27

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E111: The Stigma Stamp: When Mental Health Becomes the Excuse“She’s just being dramatic.” “He’s having one of his episodes again.” “Don’t take it personally—it’s her mental health.”In this episode of Borderline in Wonderland, we’re unpacking the painful reality of having your humanity reduced to a diagnosis. When people use your mental health—not to understand you—but to

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00:08:10

E110: Through the Window: Watching Life Go On Without...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/26

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E110: Through the Window: Watching Life Go On Without YouYou see them laughing. Moving forward. Posting pictures. Making plans. And somehow, you're still on the other side of the glass—uninvited, unspoken to, unseen.In this episode of Borderline in Wonderland, we explore the heartbreak of disconnection that isn’t always loud or obvious. It's in the quiet scroll through a

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00:09:51

E108: Please Like Me, Please Approve Me

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/24

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E108: Please Like Me, Please Approve MeIn this episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we sit with the aching need for approval—the quiet (or not-so-quiet) plea so many of us with BPD carry: Please like me. Please tell me I’m enough. Whether it shows up as people-pleasing at work, craving praise from authority figures, or feeling crushed by neutral feedback, this episode unpacks the

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00:19:10

E107: Off With Her Head! – Fear of Mistakes at Work

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/23

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E107: Off With Her Head! – Fear of Mistakes at WorkIn this episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we face the Queen of Hearts inside our own heads—the one who screams “Off with her head!” at every tiny mistake. “Fear of Mistakes at Work” dives into the paralyzing anxiety many of us with BPD feel in professional settings, where even small slip-ups can feel catastrophic. Whether it’s

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00:07:49

E106 Paper Crown Syndrome: Feeling Like a Fraud in a...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/22

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E106 Paper Crown Syndrome: Feeling Like a Fraud in a Real JobIn this episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we explore the fragile weight of success that doesn’t feel real. “Paper Crown Syndrome” captures the imposter syndrome many of us with BPD carry—sitting at our desks, meeting expectations, maybe even getting praise… but inside, we feel like a kid playing dress-up in a

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00:11:54

E105: Stitching Back Together After Work

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/21

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E105: Stitching Back Together After WorkIn this episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we explore the quiet, often invisible task of putting yourself back together after a day on the clock. “Stitching Back Together After Work” dives into the emotional unraveling that can happen when you’ve spent all day masking, managing, and holding it together—only to come home feeling frayed,

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00:14:28

E104: Echo Alice: Watching Yourself Play the Role

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/20

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E104: Echo Alice: Watching Yourself Play the RoleIn this episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we meet Echo Alice—the version of ourselves who smiles, nods, and performs the part while feeling miles away inside. “Echo Alice” explores the eerie experience of depersonalization, where life starts to feel like a performance and you’re stuck watching yourself from behind the curtain

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00:16:48

E103: The Disappearing Desk: Losing Time and Presence...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/19

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E103: The Disappearing Desk: Losing Time and Presence at WorkIn this episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we sit at the disappearing desk—the place where time slips, focus fades, and your body’s at work, but your mind is far, far away. Whether it’s zoning out in meetings, forgetting tasks you swore you finished, or feeling like you’re watching yourself from a distance, this

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00:12:42

E102: Tea with Ghosts: Going Through the Motions

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/18

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E102: Tea with Ghosts: Going Through the MotionsIn this haunting episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we pour a cup of tea and sit with the quiet, hollow feeling of going through the motions. “Tea with Ghosts” explores the dissociation, numbness, and emotional absence that can creep in with BPD—when you’re doing all the right things on the outside, but inside, it’s like no one’s

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00:16:00

E101: Through the Job Door, But Not All of Me Came

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/17

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E101: Through the Job Door, But Not All of Me CameIn this episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we explore what it feels like to step into a job while leaving parts of yourself behind. Whether it’s masking emotions, shrinking your personality, or hiding your struggles with BPD just to appear “professional,” this episode unpacks the painful disconnect that can come with being

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00:13:10

E100: The Shame Spiral Slide: One Mistake Feels Like...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/16

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E100: The Shame Spiral Slide: One Mistake Feels Like a Moral FailureWelcome to the 100th episode of Wonderland Unlocked—and what better way to mark the milestone than by sliding straight into one of the most intense experiences of BPD: the shame spiral. In this episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we explore how one small mistake can trigger an overwhelming emotional landslide,

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00:09:45

E99: Trial by Heart: The Internal Critic Dressed Like...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/15

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E99: Trial by Heart: The Internal Critic Dressed Like a QueenIn this episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we step into the Queen of Hearts’ courtroom—but this time, the trial is internal. “Trial by Heart” explores the ruthless inner critic so many of us with BPD carry: the voice that shouts “Off with your head!” at the slightest misstep. We unpack how this harsh self-judgment

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00:19:57

E95: Wonderland Math — How BPD Warps Cause and Effect

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/15

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E95: Wonderland Math — How BPD Warps Cause and Effect In this episode, we tumble into the distorted logic of Wonderland, where emotions rewrite reality and cause and effect don’t always add up. “Wonderland Math” unpacks how borderline personality disorder can twist the way we interpret situations—turning neutral events into personal attacks, or believing our feelings must be

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00:10:26

E94: The Queen or the Caterpillar — Idolizing and...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/15

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E94: The Queen or the Caterpillar — Idolizing and Demonizing Others In this episode, we step into Wonderland’s hall of shifting mirrors, where people can look like royalty one moment—and like enemies the next. “The Queen or the Caterpillar” explores the intense emotional flips of idolization and demonization that often come with borderline personality disorder. Whether it’s

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00:18:38

E93: Logic vs. Fear — Knowing You’re Loved But Not...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/15

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E93: Logic vs. Fear — Knowing You’re Loved But Not Feeling It In this episode, we enter the Wonderland tug-of-war between what we know and what we feel. “Logic vs. Fear” unpacks the painful disconnection that happens when someone with borderline personality disorder logically understands they are loved—but still feels rejected, unsafe, or abandoned. It’s the maddening gap

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00:25:26

E90: Through the Door Halfway — Struggling to Trust...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/15

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E90: Through the Door Halfway — Struggling to Trust Love Love in Wonderland isn’t always a fairytale—it’s a door half-open, half-closed, always uncertain. In this episode, we step into the confusing corridor of trusting love while living with borderline personality disorder. What does it mean to crave closeness but fear being consumed by it? How do you let someone in when

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00:09:42

E98: Not Just Sensitive – Being Dismissed Hurts Deeper

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/14

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E98: Not Just Sensitive – Being Dismissed Hurts DeeperIn this episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we explore the pain of being written off as “too sensitive” when you’re actually feeling everything all at once. For those of us with Borderline Personality Disorder, dismissal doesn’t just sting—it cuts. Whether it’s a sigh, a shrug, or a “you’re overreacting,” these moments can

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00:14:29

E97: The Talking Flowers Mock Me – Social Anxiety and...

Wonderland Unlocked ·

2025/05/13

Series 5: Borderline in Wonderland - Emotions like storms. Love like fire. A heart that’s too big for this tiny teacup world. E97: The Talking Flowers Mock Me – Social Anxiety and BPDIn today’s episode of Wonderland Unlocked, we tiptoe through the flowerbeds—only to find that the blooms are whispering behind our backs. Social anxiety with Borderline Personality Disorder can feel like that: every conversation overanalyzed, every silence a judgment, every glance a secret critique. With BPD, the fear

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