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PODCAST

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

Beth Hillman | Parent Coach for Parents of Struggling Teens

Your guide to parenting a struggling teen or young-adult, whether they’re home, transitioning home, or presently in treatment.Parents, say goodbye to exhausting confusion, overwhelm, panic and the unhelpful patterns that keep you and your family stuck. Learn how to develop healthy responses and set healthy boundaries with your teen instead of acting out of fear and anxiety.Experience the relationship-changing power of focusing on your own behavior instead of futile attempts to control your teen.Your

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

39:40

129. Shifting to Healthy Communication with Your Teen...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2025/02/11

Healthy communication is the foundation of strong relationships. But when emotions run high, it’s easy to fall into unhelpful patterns. In this episode, trauma therapist Sarah Allen joins me to explore how communication styles shape family dynamics and what it takes to shift toward healthier, more assertive communication with your struggling teen. If you’ve ever felt stuck between being too passive or too controlling in conversations with your teen, you’re not alone. Many parents default to ...

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22:35

128. Parenting an Overwhelmed Teen (And Dealing With...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2025/02/04

When life feels like too much, it’s easy to get caught in the spiral of overwhelm. And let’s face it, whether it’s your teen or yourself as a parent, overwhelm is something we all face from time to time. In this episode, we dive into how to support your teen through these challenging moments while also learning to manage your own as a parent. Overwhelm can show up in many ways, emotional shutdowns, conflict, exhaustion, or frustration, all stemming from the pressure of unmet expectations. Wh...

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36:55

127. When Nothing Seems to Work for Your Struggling Teen

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2025/01/28

What do you do when you’ve tried everything? Your teen has been to wilderness programs, therapeutic boarding schools, partial hospitalization programs, and more—and yet, the struggles persist. The behaviors, the fears, the maladaptive patterns, they all return in some way or form when your teen comes back home. What now?In this episode, I’m joined again by the incredible Ciara Fanlo, a former “troubled teen” turned mentor and coach for struggling teens. Together, we delve into the feelings of...

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26:47

126. Will My Work as a Parent Ever Be Done?

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2025/01/21

Parenting often feels like one of the most rewarding yet unrelenting journeys. There’s no clocking out, even after major milestones are achieved. In this episode, Seth joins me to explore what it means to keep showing up as a parent, even when the work feels never-ending.I reflect on how my son has grown far beyond his time as “my wilderness kid.” Yet, just the other day, we shared an interaction that reminded me our journey is still ongoing. It’s a process of meeting each other with empathy,...

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17:04

125. Strengthening Relationships Through Conflict

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2025/01/14

Sometimes the shame around my actions feels so heavy and I feel like I’ve failed as a parent. Sounds familiar? In this deeply personal episode, I open up about one of the most painful regrets I’ve had as a parent. A moment I carried shame around for years. It was a time when I was overwhelmed with emotions and lacked the tools I have now, leading to choices I’m not proud of.At the time, I was convinced my struggling teen was doing everything “wrong” and my attempts to “fix” him only deepened ...

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35:55

124. How to influence better sleep and beat insomnia...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2025/01/07

It’s no secret that sleep is crucial for teens, but getting them to prioritize it? That’s a whole different story! This week on the podcast, I’m joined by Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown, a triple board-certified sleep physician and founder of Restful Sleep MD, to dive into the importance of sleep for our teens and how we, as parents, can support them in developing healthy sleep habits.Sleep isn’t just about feeling rested, it’s foundational to every aspect of health. From learning and mood to metabo...

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22:43

123. Recognizing Your Teen’s Progress With Ciara Fanlo

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/12/31

How do you know if your teen is truly making progress? As parents, we often cling to our own standards, like better grades or sticking to curfews. These are the markers we cling to as evidence that the therapy or treatment is “working.” But what if the signs you’re looking for aren’t the ones that matter most? Because, our teens? They’re navigating their own priorities and often finding progress in ways that are less visible to us. They often grow in ways that don’t align with our ...

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32:12

122. Your Kid Shouldn’t Take Your Advice: Here’s Why...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/12/24

It’s SO frustrating when your kid doesn’t take your advice, isn’t it?! As parents, we have more life experience and we can share our advice with our kids to give them an easier and smoother life experience, at least that’s how it feels to us, right?That’s not how it works though. Together with Ciara Fanlo (a former “troubled teen” turned mentor for adolescents and their families), I explore why teens often don’t take advice, how to shift from frustration to understanding, and how to support t...

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19:17

121. Unshaming My Anxiety: A Personal Story

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/12/17

I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety lately. Our wilderness kid is doing really well, so you’d think, after all the heartache, pain, and anxiety of that journey, things would finally feel calm. But life has a way of throwing curveballs, doesn’t it?But honestly, I’ve been judging my anxiety hard. What’s your problem? Why can’t you handle this? You used to be good at this! You’re a mess. It’s exhausting, and the more I try to push these thoughts away, the louder they get.But then a good reminder ...

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48:28

120. Releasing Control and Desired Outcomes for Our...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/12/10

It’s natural to want to steer our kids toward success and protect them from struggle. But what if trying to control the outcome does more harm than good? In this episode, I speak with Maggie, a mom of four (including one “wilderness kid”), who shares her deeply personal journey of learning to step back, trust her child’s path, and focus on her own growth.“I leaned in on control-based, outcome-oriented parenting because I thought that was my job. I thought that’s what a good parent looked like...

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47:48

119. Why Messing Up After Treatment Can Be a Teen's...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/12/03

What happens after your teen completes treatment? It’s a question many parents grapple with. In today’s episode, Beth talks to Michael, a former struggling teen who went to wilderness himself, about his journey through treatment and the challenges of returning home.Michael reflects on his time in wilderness treatment as the ‘worst best time’ of his life. It wasn’t just the woods or the strict routines that made it tough - it was the emotional accountability he had never faced before. As he sh...

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35:09

118. What Success Looks Like for Young Adults With...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/11/26

It’s natural to feel uneasy when your kid strays from the socially accepted path of college, career, and other traditional milestones. But as today’s guest Joanna points out, the reality is that the so-called "normal" path is often the exception, not the rule. The world has changed dramatically, and success now comes in many forms. Degrees, certifications, and fulfilling careers don’t always look like they used to, and that’s okay.As parents, we’re fearful of our teen’s choices because it loo...

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23:41

117. Pointing Positive: Influencing Your Teen Toward...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/11/19

Are you unknowingly sending your teen the message that their best isn’t good enough?In this episode, we dig into a concept called "pointing positive," a term from river kayaking that can make a big difference in parenting teens through tough times. When we guide our kids toward what they want to achieve, instead of focusing on what they need to fix, we can help them feel more motivated and confident in their journey.Think about it: if your teen has worked hard to bring their grades up from D’...

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45:16

116. Understanding Trauma Responses in Parents &...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/11/12

Ever found yourself reacting strongly to something, even when it seems like “no big deal”? Or maybe, in a tense moment, you freeze or shut down instead of reacting? If you’re a parent of a struggling teen, be it addiction, mental health struggles, suicidal ideation or a different struggle, you’ve probably felt your own heart skip a beat more times than you can count. Today, I talk with trauma therapist Sarah Allen about why we sometimes overreact (or shut down) in response to ...

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25:38

115. Understanding and Overcoming Fear in Family...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/11/05

Fear has a sneaky way of impacting our brains, pushing us toward avoiding what feels uncomfortable instead of working through it. For many of us, fear makes us want to avoid the situation, but doing that keeps us from working through what needs to be done.It’s important to understand that fear is an emotion that comes and goes, just like other emotions. But what does fear bring up in us as parents, and in our struggling teens? Thinking back to the time before our son went to wilderness, I rem...

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22:23

114. Self-Care for Parents 101

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/10/29

It’s easy to forget to prioritize ourselves as parents, especially when our children are struggling. In this episode, Seth and I dive into the emotional balancing act of parenting a teen in treatment while still finding time for self-care. It’s common to feel guilty for taking care of yourself, especially when your child is away in treatment. Whether you feel guilty about telling your kid that you had a good day while they’re in treatment, or it feels exhausting to you to always be 'on' as a ...

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14:47

113. When Your Teen Says All the Right Things but...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/10/22

Your teen appears calm and composed with their therapist but displays anger or aggression at home, how frustrating!? It feels like you're dealing with two completely different versions of the same person.In this episode, Seth and I explore the challenge of handling teens who have been through enough therapy to know exactly what to say to 'work the system.' While their providers see one side, you as a parent experience something entirely different. We’ll talk about how to navigate these mixed ...

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41:50

112. Rules vs. Boundaries vs. Expectations When...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/10/15

Balancing the need for rules with the desire for connection can be incredibly challenging when parenting teens. In this episode, therapist Trevor Allen and I dive into the complex dynamics of rules versus boundaries versus expectations and how to navigate them in a way that promotes healthy relationships.We discuss the confusion that can arise when trying to balance control and support, particularly when parenting a struggling teen. It’s not just about setting strict rules but more about unde...

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52:27

111. The Emotional Stages Your Struggling Teen Goes...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/10/08

What’s it actually like for your teen to be in wilderness or other treatment?As parents, we can never truly know. But today’s guest, Ciara Fanlo, has been through it herself. According to her, the emotional stages our teens go through in treatment are very similar to the seven stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance & hope, and processing grief. So what does that look like for your teen? In this episode, Ciara shares her thoughts and experiences goin...

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27:42

110. How Resentment Builds Between Parents and Teens...

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling... ·

2024/10/01

We all know that feeling when something doesn’t sit right, but we shrug it off, telling ourselves, “It’s not a big deal.” Yet, over time, those little moments of unspoken frustration build up, slowly shrinking our emotional bandwidth until we snap over the tiniest thing. Whether it's a parent feeling taken for granted or a struggling teen wondering why they’re the only one doing all the hard work, resentment can do a lot of harm when left unchecked.In this episode, Seth and I tackle the trick...

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190 results

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