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PODCAST

The Secure Husband

M. Bruce Abbott, M.A, CPC

A Secure Husband no longer seeks validation from his wife—he stands strong in self-worth, meets his own emotional needs, and leads with confidence and clarity. I’ve been where you are, and I’m here to help you break free from old patterns, reclaim your strength, and transform your marriage from the inside out.

education self-improvement

All Episodes

12:28

Do You Struggle With Male Friendships?

The Secure Husband ·

2025/08/12

Many men start healing with one goal — to win back their wife’s affection.They work on themselves, stay calm, and show up differently… but inside, they’re still performing for approval.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, you’ll learn why that approach keeps you stuck — and how to shift into real growth that lasts.What you’ll learn in this episode:✅ The danger of healing to get a reaction from your wife✅ How to tell if you’re performing instead of truly healing✅ The key steps to

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16:05

Healing For The Right Reasons

The Secure Husband ·

2025/08/10

Many men start healing with one goal — to win back their wife’s affection.They work on themselves, stay calm, and show up differently… but inside, they’re still performing for approval.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, you’ll learn why that approach keeps you stuck — and how to shift into real growth that lasts.What you’ll learn in this episode:✅ The danger of healing to get a reaction from your wife✅ How to tell if you’re performing instead of truly healing✅ The key steps to

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14:01

How Do I Know When I’m Healed?

The Secure Husband ·

2025/08/08

You’ve done the work.You’ve stayed calm during fights.You’ve stopped yelling.You’ve started listening.But now you wonder…“How do I know if I’m really healed?”In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we break it down in plain, simple steps.You’ll learn what real healing looks like — not perfection, but presence.Not control, but calm.Here’s what you’ll learn today:✅ What “being healed” actually means✅ How to tell when your triggers don’t control you✅ Why your actions matter more than

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14:13

Wounded Men Are Extremely Loyal — To a Fault

The Secure Husband ·

2025/08/06

Do you feel proud of your loyalty… but broken inside?In this video, we talk about how wounded men stay loyal — even when it’s hurting them.You’ll learn how to stop bleeding for approval and start living from truth and strength.Some men stay loyal to pain.To women who don’t care.To marriages that feel one-sided and cold.To roles where they carry everything and get nothing back.They think it’s love.But really, it’s fear.This episode will help you see what’s really going on.In This Episode,

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16:47

You Are Worthy of Affection

The Secure Husband ·

2025/08/04

If your wife avoids touch, hugs, or affection, this episode is for you.It’s painful to feel unwanted. You might feel like something is wrong with you.But that thought is a lie. You are not broken. You are not too much. You are not unlovable.This video will help you stop blaming yourself.You’ll learn how to care for your heart, meet your own emotional needs, and stop chasing love.You don’t have to beg for connection.You don’t have to prove your worth.You can feel strong, grounded, and whole

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13:18

When Your Wife Withholds Sex As Punishment

The Secure Husband ·

2025/08/02

If your wife withholds sex, it can feel like pain, punishment, or rejection.It hurts. It’s confusing. And it can make you feel small, angry, or lost.This episode helps you stop reacting and start healing.It shows you how to lead yourself with strength — even when your wife pulls away.What You Will Learn:✅ Why some wives withhold sex✅ What this behavior really means✅ How to stop begging, chasing, or shutting down✅ What to do when you feel unwanted or unloved✅ How to rebuild your emotional

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12:21

Healing While In The Midst of Rejection In Your Marriage

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/31

Are you trying to heal while still feeling unwanted, unseen, or unloved by your wife?This episode is for the man who feels rejected in real time — not from the past, but right now. You may be listening to podcasts, doing the work, and trying to grow… but nothing at home is changing.You’re not weak. You’re not crazy. And you’re not alone.What You’ll Learn in This Video:✅ What to do when your wife stays distant or cold✅ How to stop chasing love and start standing strong✅ The 6 clear steps of

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12:28

You Always Have Two Wounded People In A Dysfunctional...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/29

If your marriage feels one-sided, cold, or full of blame — you’re not alone.Many men ask, “Why am I the only one doing the work?”“She never opens up. She never wants sex. She avoids everything — but I’m the one who has to change?”This video explains why that feeling is valid… but also why healing still starts with you.What You’ll Learn in This Video:✅ Why your wife’s avoidance often triggers your old wounds✅ Why every broken marriage includes two wounded people✅ How to stop trying to fix

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10:10

No Marriage Is Perfect (It's A System)

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/27

If your marriage feels stuck, cold, or disconnected — this video is for you.Many men believe their wife is the main problem in the relationship.But most of the time, the marriage is broken because both partners are reacting from pain.This creates a pattern that keeps repeating until one person chooses to lead the change.This episode explains how that person can be you.What You’ll Learn in This Video:✅ Why marriage is a system — not a scoreboard✅ How your reactions shape the patterns between

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15:13

She Won't Have Sex With Her Husband She Can't...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/25

If your wife has stopped wanting sex, this episode will explain why.It’s not about attraction. It’s not about being nice. It’s not about what you do around the house.It’s about trust.Emotional trust.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, you’ll learn why emotional safety is the key to physical closeness — and how your wife’s lack of desire may be a sign that she doesn’t feel emotionally safe, seen, or understood by you.No more guessing. No more begging. No more shame.What You’ll

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11:21

You Must Heal the Relationship With Yourself Before...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/23

You can’t fix your marriage by changing your wife.You fix your marriage by healing yourself first.Most men try to lead their marriage without leading themselves.They feel disconnected, unloved, and invisible — and they blame their wife.But deep down, they’ve lost connection with the one person they can change: themselves.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, you’ll learn why your inner relationship shapes every part of your marriage. You’ll get a clear, simple path to rebuild trust

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12:52

The Need For Connection Versus Neediness

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/21

Many men feel shame for wanting love.You’re told to be strong, stay independent, and never show emotion.But here’s the truth:You are made for connection.Your body and brain need closeness.That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, you’ll learn the clear difference between healthy connection and unhealthy neediness. You’ll also see how your childhood shaped how you ask for love today — and what to do if you’ve been chasing, shutting down, or

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11:12

You Can't Avoid Your Feelings - Lead Through Them

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/19

You are a man. You feel things.But you were taught to push it all down.To stay calm. Stay quiet. Stay tough.You were told:“Don’t cry.”“Don’t be weak.”“Control your emotions.”But hiding your feelings isn’t helping you.It’s hurting your marriage.It’s blocking your growth.It’s making you feel numb, angry, or alone.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, you’ll learn how to stop avoiding your feelings and start leading yourself through them — with calm strength and clear action.What

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11:55

I Had A Good Childhood, So Why Am I Struggling?

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/17

You had a good childhood.No abuse.No trauma.Your parents loved you.So why do you still feel stuck in your marriage?Why do you react in ways you don’t like?Why do you shut down, avoid, or panic when things get hard?In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, Bruce explains how childhood coping strategies — even from loving families — can block connection and safety in marriage today.What You’ll Learn:✅ Why a “good childhood” can still leave emotional gaps✅ How emotional needs get missed

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12:10

The Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/15

Do you feel like you're the only one trying?Are you always the one who reaches out, starts the hard talks, and keeps the marriage going?Does it feel like your wife just shuts down, pulls away, or avoids connection?This is called the pursuer-distancer dynamic, and it’s common in struggling marriages. One person chases. The other runs. And both feel stuck.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:✅ Why one-sided effort creates stress and silence✅ How the pursuer-distancer pattern starts and keeps going✅

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10:25

Why It's Hard To Communicate Your Needs

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/13

You want to feel close.You want to speak your needs.But every time you try, it backfires.Maybe she pulls away.Maybe you shut down.Maybe you explode or say nothing at all.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, Bruce explains why you keep losing your voice — and how the wounded boy inside you might be in charge of your marriage.What You’ll Learn:✅ Why expressing needs isn’t the problem — your tone is✅ How your inner boy learned to hide, hint, and hope✅ What clear, calm, adult

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9:24

More About Hidden Resistance That’s Blocking Your...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/11

You’ve been doing the work.You’re reading.You’re journaling.You’re trying to stay calm.But deep down… you still feel stuck.You still feel alone.You still feel like nothing is changing.This episode of The Secure Husband Podcast explains why.It’s something called hidden resistance — and it may be blocking your healing.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:✅ What hidden resistance really is✅ How it hides in your thoughts and actions✅ Why it gets stronger when you’re close to breakthrough✅ How to spot

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14:17

Is Hidden Resistance Keeping You Stuck?

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/09

You’ve done the work. You’ve read the books. You’ve stopped reacting. You’ve started healing.So why does your marriage still feel cold and stuck?In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, Bruce explains how hidden resistance might be the real reason you feel frustrated — even after making real progress.You’re not lazy. You’re not doing it wrong.You might just be afraid of what healing could change.In This Episode:✅ What hidden resistance is and how it shows up✅ Why fear of loss can keep

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13:04

Are You Frustrated With The Progress?

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/07

You’ve done the work. You’ve healed. You’ve changed. Or have you?But your marriage still feels cold, distant, or disconnected.This episode of The Secure Husband Podcast is for the man who feels stuck. You’ve become more emotionally strong. You’ve stopped chasing or begging. You’ve worked on yourself. But your wife still shows no interest in closeness, sex, or rebuilding connection.In this honest and clear episode, Bruce explains why this happens — and what to do next.In This Episode:✅ What

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10:42

No One Is Coming to Save You — And That’s a Good Thing

The Secure Husband ·

2025/07/05

Waiting for someone to save you will only leave you stuck. In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, Bruce shows you how to stop waiting and start leading your own life.If you feel lonely, unappreciated, or powerless in your marriage, this episode will help you take your power back — without blaming, begging, or giving up.You’ll learn why your needs are your job, how to stop emotional outsourcing, and what it looks like to lead yourself with strength and peace.In This Episode:✅ Why

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