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PODCAST

Rabbit Troop Sucks

Mysteries Emerge Productions

Transmitting from Denver, Colorado, lifelong friends Paul and Mike (and guests) examine obscure, forgotten about and often overlooked films.

tv & film film reviews

All Episodes

79:36

Weird Science

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2025/03/21

John Hughes helms this fun 80s flick. We’ve got a couple of nerds, Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith), attending Shermer High School, and they just want to become popular. We know the story. But, did you think Frankenstein would inspire these two to “hack the planet” with their computer and create what they think is the perfect woman, Lisa (Kelly LeBrock)? Well, they do! The plan was simple. They want to shower with a woman, hit the city for drinks and some nightlife, and

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82:50

30 Days of Night

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2025/03/14

In Alaska, amongst rolling snowstorms, the town of Barrow enters their month-long night. Only a fraction of the town stays to stick it out. Soon, a stranger (Ben Foster) arrives and creates havoc – especially with the town’s ability to communicate. If this wasn’t enough, a bunch of vampires in suits show up and just destroy everyone! Sheriff Eben Oleson (Josh Hartnett) and the fire marshal, Stella (Melissa George), round up a handful of survivors in an attempt to hide throughout the town to survive

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77:00

Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2025/03/07

Former governor of Minnesota and now a 10,000-year-old alien law enforcer, Abraxas (Jesse Ventura), is doing his “best” to apprehend Secundus (Sven-Ole Thorsen) because he’s running around Earth trying to impregnate women for a child to produce the Anti-Life Equation. It’s the path to immortality! After Secundus puts his hand on the first woman’s stomach he sees, we have a baby! 5 years later, after this child has grown a bit, these alien goons are back at it on Earth – lots of running through the

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115:16

The Last Dragon

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2025/02/28

Leroy Green (Taimak) has been dumped by his martial arts master so he can unlock the next level in his training – the Glow. While trying to find his inner power, Laura (Vanity) tries to unlock other inner feelings he has as well. Good thing Leroy is hanging around because Vanity has multiple kidnap attempts from a corrupt music promoter. Meanwhile, Sho’nuff (Julius Carry) will stop at nothing for an epic confrontation and Converse kissing with Leroy. There will be Glow EVERYWHERE! Ah, yes, to be

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77:19

Star Knight

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2025/02/21

Cosmic fella who can’t breathe the same air as his love is in a real dilemma. This stellar tale of love is as old as the cosmos. Ix (Miguel Bosé) is not a starman, and he’s not waiting in the sky. He’s collecting the spirits of animals – as you do. When Princess Alba (Maria Lamor) goes swimming in the nude, Star Knight takes her into the “dragon.” Klever (Harvey Keitel) doesn’t like that! And, he wants to be knighted. With the aid of Fray Lupo (Fernando Rey), these two idiots will accomplish nothing

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82:51

Blast from the Past

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2025/02/14

You are cordially invited to an epic Guy-entine’s Day. Fill your cups up with mimosas and grab a handful of chocolate hearts. We did! Adam (Brendon Fraser) has grown up in a fallout shelter. His parents, Calvin (Christopher Walken) and Helen (Sissy Spacek), hid there in what they thought was a nuclear blast. Now, 35 years later, the vault is open, and Adam is sent into the modern world above to gather supplies and information. Adam immediately falls for Eve (Alicia Silverstone), but will she be

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84:42

The Longest Yard (1974)

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2025/02/07

It’s time for an American sporting tradition as old as this tradition itself. Tradition activated! Super Bowl time! Get your favorite snacks and peeps together. We hope your favorite teams do the things you want them to do. No slobberknockers necessary. A disgraced football player, Paul Crewe (Burt Reynolds), spirals out of control and lands himself in prison. Once there, a delusional warden (Eddie Albert) forces Crewe to train a group of inmates to take on the guards led by Captain Knauer (Ed

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82:49

Snakes on a Plane

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2025/01/31

From the get-go, you need to know there was NO other option than putting a bunch of poisonous snakes on a plane, time releasing them and amping them up with some pheromones. Is Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson) the Joker? Neville Flynn (Samule L. Jackson) is doing his best to protect his key witness, Sean (Nathan Phillips), from these slithering, fanged horrors. Claire (Julianna Margulies) wants to survive her last day at work. The MVP is Troy (Kenan Thompson)! We have a feeling he’s going to get us to L.A

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78:23

Kung Fu Hustle

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2025/01/24

Happy Lunar New Year! It’s the year of the snake, and it’s time for reflection, growth and careful decision-making. Sing (Stephen Chow) experiences all of this. In 1940’s Shanghai, Sing and his friend Bone (Tze-Chung Lam) try and fail at grifting their way into a housing complex. They turn to the Axe Gang for assistance and recruitment, and they fail at that as well. The Axe Gang is also extremely unhappy with the powers that Landlord (Wah Yuen) and Landlady (Qiu Yuen) have because they are able to

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80:19

Fletch

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2025/01/17

Irwin “Fletch” Fletcher (Chevy Chase) is an undercover newspaper reporter investigating excess drug trafficking on the beach. The police and high-ranking officials might be involved. What’s going on in this city? While Fletch is sleuthing, Alan Stanwyk (Tim Matheson) offers him 50K to kill him. It’s an insurance thing! Through a series of amazing disguises, one-liners, stealth and a bit of luck, Fletch is going to do his best to put all of these pieces together and to get his story out on time. “Bit

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74:15

Cabin Boy

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2025/01/10

When Hazel’s mom, Carolyne, requests Cabin Boy, you get on that! Nathanial Mayweather (Chris Elliot) is a snob and a real jerk. But, he is a fancy lad. After he boards the wrong boat, he is trapped amongst the crew (Ritch Brinkley, James Gammon, Brian Doyle-Murray and Brion James) who despise him. Nathanial desperately wants to get to Hawaii to meet up with his richy-rich father. Along the way, the crew pick up Trina (Melora Walters), and Nathanial is insta-smitten. With a little luck, this cabin

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80:31

Real Genius

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2025/01/03

It’s a new year! Let’s open it by celebrating the 40th anniversary of Real Genius. You deserve it! Mitch Taylor (Gabriel Jarret) is a 15-year-old prodigy who has been accepted into a university to work on a freakin’ laser. He gets to work with legendary genius (and outlandish) Chris Knight (Val Kilmer) on this project. Mitch wants Chris to focus. Chris wants Mitch to loosen up. It’s like a pair of opposite lasers. That’s a thing, right? Meanwhile, some guy (Jon Gries) has been disappearing in their

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91:18

Last Action Hero

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2024/12/27

Do you have a golden ticket? Do you want to sing about it? Danny (Austin O’Brien) has been given a magical one. It was originally from Houdini. While watching a midnight screener of his favorite action star, Jack Slater (Arnold Schwarzenegger), Danny is transported into the film. Now, he serves as a comedic sidekick in a zany fantasy world based on Hollywood tropes. Benedict (Charles Dance) gets his hands on the ticket and uses it for strange and somewhat undefined purposes. All of this spills back

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78:43

Die Hard 2

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2024/12/24

A bonus holiday episode! What!? Can’t keep a good holiday down! We’ll visit the past to talk in our present, and you can listen in our future. John McClane (Bruce Willis) is back! Back but in D.C. to see the in-laws for Christmas. And he’s now LAPD? But Dulles was actually filmed at the old Stapleton airport in Denver! Baddies are everywhere! Planes are running out of fuel. Reporters are trying to get the inside scoop. A reindeer is supposed to arrive! McClane is just trying to pick up his wife

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87:24

Gremlins

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2024/12/20

Happy holidays, everyone! It’s time for winter, and it’s time for another Joe Dante film. The year of Dante continues on! After daddy/the father (Hoyt Axton) sneaks off with a Mogwai from Chinatown, he gifts it to his son, Billy (Zach Galligan), just before Christmas. There are some rules that need to be followed for Gizmo (the Mogwai). Within a day, Billy amazingly disregards these rules, and now this once adorable cuddle fluff has multiplied into a horde of mischievous monsters running amuck

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75:14

Santa's Slay

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2024/12/13

Santa Claus is coming to town! Also, he hates you, children and all that is good. So, little known fact, Santa (Bill Goldberg) is actually the demon son of Satan and Ericka. After losing a bet to an angel, Santa has been forced to bear gifts and be jolly for a thousand years. Now, that timeline is up! Nicolas (Douglas Smith) is a young, hapless doof in the dating department, but somehow his hot-to-go work friend, Mary/”Mac”(Emilie de Ravin), is going to help him out. ‘Tis the season! As Mac helps

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82:18

Strange Brew

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2024/12/06

A gigantic thank you to our listener, Jim, for requesting this fizzy-comedic flick. Bob (Rick Moranis) and Doug McKenzie (Dave Thomas) somehow obtain jobs at the Elsinore Brewery. Between the free beer and beer-related tasks they are in charge of, these hosers just reached heaven. Unfortunately, Brewmeister Smith (Max von Sydow) is planning to brainwash everyone with his mind-controlling beer serum. It’s time for global domination! Pam (Lynne Griffin) is trying to take over for her dad – her ghost

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90:51

Son in Law

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2024/11/28

Visit the Shore[s] this Thanksgiving! We hope you all had/are having wonderful holidays! Did you “chow down and munch on some grindage”? Too much food? Too much family? Too much indulgence? Wash it all down with another pie or two. We’ve got a holiday tale to get to. Rebecca Warner (Carla Gugino) leaves her small town in South Dakota for UCLA. School is going well, but, socially, she is having a hard time adjusting. Rebecca befriends strange and erratic Crawl (Pauly Shore), and she decides to invite

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77:54

Shoot 'Em Up

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2024/11/22

A huge thank you to our listener, Jake, for requesting this Gun-Fu epic! Mr. Smith (Clive Owen) doesn’t like that some randos are trying to put a baby mama in the corner – and then the baby in a corner too! Nope! Gun mode level 12! These goons didn’t know Smith is a gun-god! Most of these thugs go down quickly, but these bosses don’t like Smith interfering. Smith, with concerns for the child, seeks the aid of Donna (Monica Bellucci) to keep this newborn safe. While sleuthing together, a bit of a

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85:08

The Perfect Weapon

Rabbit Troop Sucks ·

2024/11/15

Our friend Reg (Cubicle Comrades podcast) requested and joins us for his Rabbit Troop Sucks debut, and you’ll see his distraction knife. Then, it’s too late! Jeff Sanders (Jeff Speakman) has a lot of anger and a lot of flashbacks stored inside himself. So many flashbacks! Snap! “It’s getting’ kinda hectic.” Through his training in Kenpo, he tries to temper all of this. Master Lo (Seth Sakai) sends him on a lifelong quest to become a man. When the Korean mafia kills his friend Kim (Mako), the rage

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207 results

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