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PODCAST

Berner Phone

Hannah Berner and Des Bishop

The Berner Phone hotline is open! Hannah Berner and her husband, comedian Des Bishop, are listening to callers, dishing out their best advice, and bantering back with hilarious chemistry for their first ever podcast together. Keep an eye out on their Instagram stories for prompts to leave a voice message and be featured on the pod. Whether it"s pet peeves, secrets, life advice, dating dilemmas, or career questions, Hannah and Des are dialed in. Dial in -

comedy stand-up

All Episodes

01:10:28

Berner Phone #55: Spicy Advice

Berner Phone ·

2024/08/28

We're back this week with another advice episode. The dialers have found themselves in some sticky situations and we're giving our unprofessional advice. $200 off exercise machines at tonal.com with code BERN 50% off at factormeals.com/BERN50 with code BERN50 Get a new wireless plan at mintmobile.com/BERNER Affordable luxury essentials at quince.com/BERN free shipping 25% off daily synbiotic at seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN 25% off shaving needs at shopflamingo.com/BERNER

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01:07:19

Berner Phone #54: Dumbest Purchases

Berner Phone ·

2024/08/19

We've all fallen victim to buying items from targeted ads that seem like the cure to all our problems. This week the dialers are sharing the purchases they regret and have hidden from their spouses. And it's one of our favorite episodes so far. 20% off the best chips at masachips.com with code BERN Smell good with 15% off at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN 15% off at citylips.com with code BERNER 40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 20% off bras and shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN 50% off

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57:06

Berner Phone #53: The Best Excuses

Berner Phone ·

2024/08/14

What if we all stopped trying to make excuses and just said no? The moral of today's episode is "if it's not a fuck yes it's a no". zocdoc.com/berner Get 25% Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN 20% off better hydration at liquid-iv.com with code BERN 15% off bedding at bollandbranch.com/bern 25% off shaving needs at shopflamingo.com/berner with code BERNER 10% modern bidets at hellotushy.com with code BERN

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01:09:29

Berner Phone #52: Pets Gone Wild

Berner Phone ·

2024/08/05

Pets are the glue that hold our lives and our mental sanity together. But they have minds of their own and despite what we may think, they don't always listen to us. This week the dialers are sharing some wild pet stories. Some left us laughing and some left us cringing. 10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com with code BERN $5 for registering on the Ibotta app with code BERN Get the best cat litter 20% off plus a free cat toy at prettylitter.com/BERN with code BERN Snack guilt free at

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01:04:31

Berner Phone #51: Minor Disasters

Berner Phone ·

2024/07/29

The dialers are sharing the minor things that feel like a complete disaster. From incorrect food orders to stubbing your toe - days are being ruined nationwide. Luxury essentials at quince.com/bern for free shipping and returns Cut down on your wireless bill at mintmobile.com/berner Get ready to eat meals with 50% off at factormeals.com/bern50 with code bern50 10% premium cookware at hexclad.com/BERN Get premium hydration for 20% at liquidiv.com with code BERN First skincare visit for $5 at

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01:05:34

Berner Phone #50: Solving Your Dial-emmas

Berner Phone ·

2024/07/23

We're back with another unprofessional advice epsiode. Becasue it's so much more fun to help other people with their problems than trying to solve your own. The dialers are navigating wedding stress, awkward family situations, and dating dilemmas. Get the best chips for 20% off at masachips.com with code BERN 20% off shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN nurx.com/BERN for expert mental health help Get 25% off Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN $5 off your skincare consultation at

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59:25

Berner Phone #49: Bad Drivers

Berner Phone ·

2024/07/14

Nothing ruins your peaceful drive like a bad driver. Hannah doesn't have a driver's license but don't worry she still has plenty of opinons. This was a cathartic episode for Des who claims he doesn't have road rage. Get 20% off better hydration at liquidiv.com w/ code BERN 50% off custom haircare at prose.com/BERNER 15% off luggage at BEISTRAVEL.com/BERN Make going to the doctor easy at zocdoc.com/BERNER Get 10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com w/ code BERN

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58:20

Berner Phone #48: When Bad Things Are Good

Berner Phone ·

2024/07/08

Things don't always work out the way we planned but often it turns out for the best. Whether it's crazy ex boyfriends or crushed dreams of winning Wimbledon, life has a way of working out. Give your gut some support with 25% off at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN Upgrade your athletic wear at GreatnessWins.com and use code BERN for 25% off Sleep better with 15% off and free shipping at bollandbranch.com/bern Get cash back on every purchase and $5 just for trying Ibotta. Download the app and use

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01:07:14

Berner Phone #47: Best Song Lyrics Ever

Berner Phone ·

2024/06/30

We're going through the dialer's favorite song lyrics and there are even some impromptu performances. We learned Hannnah likes music that makes her want to punch a wall and Des likes music that makes him tear up. For 15% off deodorant - use code BERN at lumedeodorant.com Get high quality essentials at quince.com/BERN for free shipping and returns Get the best drinks with free shipping at liquiddeath.com/BERN High quality athletic wear at greatnesswins.com code BERN for 25% offf nurx.com/BERN

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01:10:50

Berner Phone #46: Hannah's Next Special

Berner Phone ·

2024/06/23

Hannah and Des are both in the process of writing a new hour of stand up. The dialers are helping to spark some creativity and inspiration. Are Irish men sexy and what do we think of therapy? And for the first time ever, someone wants Hannah to talk more about tennis. Cut your wireless bill to $15 at mintmobile.com/BERNER FACTORMEALS.com/bern50 for 50% off your first month of meals Murder your thirst at liquiddeath.com/BERN 25% off your first month of Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern

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01:04:38

Berner Phone #45: Best Flirting Strategies

Berner Phone ·

2024/06/15

Hannah, Des, and the dialers are recalling their best and worst attempts at flirting. We discuss whether guys actually enjoy negging and drop one of the most unique DM slides we’ve ever heard. 20% off bras and shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN For skin and body care, get 10% off with code BERN at OSEAMalibu.com If you want fuller and plumper lips, get 15% off sitewide with code BERNER at citybeauty.com For refreshing drinks, go to liquiddeath.com/BERN 25% off your first month of Seed’s DS-01® Daily

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01:16:37

Berner Phone #44: Movies You Need To Watch

Berner Phone ·

2024/06/08

Grab your popcorn. The dialers called in with their favorite old movies and Hannah tried to explain the cultural impact of Mean Girls. Go to Hungryroot.com/BERNER, to get 40% off your first delivery and free veggies! For sunglasses, go to goodr.com/BERNER and use code BERNER for free shipping. Upgrade your athletic wear at GreatnessWins.com NOW. Use code BERN and you’ll receive 25% off on your first purchase!

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57:47

Berner Phone: Invention Ideas

Berner Phone ·

2024/06/02

The dialers tell us their best invention ideas and we ranted about bad therapists, new dating app ideas, the science of sunscreen, and Hannah's favorite condiment. Get free shipping for clothing at Quince.com/bern 15% off at citybeauty.com with code BERNER 15% off at LumeDeodorant.com with code BERN

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01:04:44

Berner Phone #42: Airport Problems

Berner Phone ·

2024/05/26

This episode raised our blood pressure. Traveling is stressful and fellow travelers often make it even worse. Perhaps a travelers license should be a new requirement at airports. 50% off meals at factormeals.com/bern50 with code BERN50 $15 a month wireless plans at mintmobile.com/berner 20% off shapewear and bras at honeylove.com/BERN

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01:04:13

Berner Phone #41: Under the Influence

Berner Phone ·

2024/05/17

Hangxiety is the worst feeling to wake up to. But this week the dialers put their embarrassing stories to good use. Hannah and Des also have wildly different stories to share this week. 10% off hero bread at hero.co with code BERNER 15% off luggage at beistravel.com/BERN 40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 25% off daily synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN

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56:43

Berner Phone #40: Trying New Things In Bed

Berner Phone ·

2024/05/11

This episode might "go down" as one of our all-time favorites. The dialers brought it this week with brutally honest and funny stories about their latest adventures and mishaps in the bedroom. Plus, we discuss how Nikki Glaser is the reason we got married. 25% off at seed.com/berner with code 25BERN 15% off at citybeauty.com with code BERNER zocdoc.com/berner nurx.com/bern

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01:08:33

Berner Phone #39: Debunking Old Wives' Tales

Berner Phone ·

2024/05/03

We were all told as kids that we wouldn't survive if we went outside with wet hair. This week, we are debunking old wives' tales to find out if everything we've been told by our parents was a lie. zocdoc.com/berner asteproallergy.com goodr.com/BERNER for free shipping

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01:06:30

Berner Phone #38: Useless Talents

Berner Phone ·

2024/04/26

This week useless talents are becoming useful. We cover everything from heckling babies to weird toe talents. 25% off at Seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN 15% off at BEISTRAVEL.com/BERN 40% off at Hungryroot.com/BERNER 15% off at LumeDeodorant.com with code BERN

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01:07:12

Berner Phone #37: Life Before Smartphones

Berner Phone ·

2024/04/18

This week we're throwing it back to a simpler time - when your ex of 20 years couldn't add you on Facebook, your boss couldn't contact you after 5pm, and your favorite show couldn't be spoiled. Free shipping at Quince.com/bern 20% off razors at AthenaClub.com with code BERN

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01:03:47

Berner Phone #36: Technology Mishaps

Berner Phone ·

2024/04/11

Technology might be the great equalizer, but karma is not. The dialer's techonology mishaps involve OnlyFans, nudes, and awkward interactions. On the bright side, there are some great hacks for avoiding these mistakes in the future. Moral of this story: delete snapchat. 25% off at Seed.com/bern with code 25BERN MintMobile.com/BERNER

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