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PODCAST

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch

Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition. www.wethefifth.com

news & politics

All Episodes

19:11

Members Only #248 - Marvin, Mugshots, and Migrants

The Fifth Column ·

2025/02/17

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* If this plane crashes, it’ll just be ‘Steve Wozniak, Allen Iverson, and some other people’* Murder motel in Huntington Beach* Marvin Gaye's confession* A shot, a beer, and Paddington 3* Brexit, bananas, and robber outfits* Not their best. But sort of. * The New York Times’s dumb report from Europe* Does Vance have a point?* Ukraine negotiations without Ukraine* A bunch m…

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58:27

#490 - Among the Bullshitters

The Fifth Column ·

2025/02/16

So we took a few days off. We deserved it. Sort of. And after all, there were pilots to filmed, kids to be cared for, conferences to attend. Indeed, on Friday we gave a talk at a wonderful University of Florida conference on America’s love of bullshit. But we begged off from the proceedings for an hour to record an episode. Because we love you guys. And because we needed to discuss Pete Hegseth, beer bongs and Goldschlager luges, Elon’s weird kids, the future of DOGE, the future of Ukraine,

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111:39

#489 - Neocon Don and Sandals Gaza

The Fifth Column ·

2025/02/06

* The hockey plumber * A very brief return to tariffs* Let’s fight the drug war again! Yay!* Neocon Don wants to make Gaza great…for the first time* This is a very, very bad idea* Like…an extraordinarily bad idea* The 80-20 issue* Lia’s standup special * 60 Minutes in the docket* “Restoring freedom of speech” This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

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21:18

Members Only #247 - The Dumbest War Begins

The Fifth Column ·

2025/02/03

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comWe asked ChatGPT to give us some titles for this episode. Turned out to be a pretty decent précis of the discussion…and the last one is particularly good: "Tariffs, TikTok, and Toe-Kneading Terror""Mary Poppins: Feminist Propaganda & Economic Illiteracy""Avocados vs. American Fish: The Dumbest Trade Debate Ever""Trump’s Tariff Tantrum: The Art of the Du…

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103:51

#488 - By Order of the MAGAstate

The Fifth Column ·

2025/02/01

* First class mud hobbit* At the 80th in Poland* An executive flurry * The interrogation of RFK * In defense of pharma* The interrogation of Kash Patel* Give us Greenland, Part 32* Overreach on DEI?* Frozen budgets * Getting the win* Is *this* the art of the deal?* Why were the JFK/RFK/MLK files held back?* And what will we find therein…* The most annoying Kennedy* Trusting Deepseek* Has the press learned its lesson? This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or

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68:29

Members Only #246 - Premature Denazification

The Fifth Column ·

2025/01/27

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Moynihan in Poland (Katya stole his mic)* Ronalda Reagana* Know a Nowa Huta* Onward to Auschwitz* Maybe don’t speak to the far-right German party?* Axis of anti-Woke* Unimpressed with nation-states* The Best Black History Month Report, EVER* Lia vs. MLK Part II* Rufo’s Sore "Winning"* Activism vs. Truth* Our “Blind spot” * Yellow/Blue Dress Explained* YOUR Outrage (Not Mine)* Ove…

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116:14

#487 - A Symphony of Horror

The Fifth Column ·

2025/01/23

* The Zombies reunion* Edibles and expressionism* A ghost on the knee* Who needs a desk when democracy’s dead?* Outage equality* Don’t ever integrate?* Segregation redux* Why Steve hates Elon* Those terrible oligarchs * Who needs the Constitution when we have executive orders?* The Jan 6 pardons: a disagreement * The art of the overcharge* Ross Ulbricht goes home This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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19:15

Members Only #245 - Everything Old Is New Again

The Fifth Column ·

2025/01/21

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* The sycophants are back!* Are we suckers for paying?* Gauleiter Musk* Day one executive orders* The newest, greatest Amazon Prime perk * New national bird: Jim Eagle* Pardon me? * Guess what? Leonard Peltier is not a good guy!* That Outside magazine article* Inauguration babes * Kmele’s letter to his daughter’s school * Not our oligarchs!* Ari Shaffir vs. Howie Mandel* Governme…

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110:53

#486 - A Deal with the Devil, MelaniaCoin, Danny has...

The Fifth Column ·

2025/01/17

* Melanie: the eternal First Lady* A bad deal but…the only deal* The same situation, over and over* Joey B’s final babble* Ike, Elon, and the unacceptable “oligarchy”* The Ralph Lifshitz Award for Cultural Betrayal* F**k You, Surgeon General, says Matt Welch* The shittiest NYT story in recent memory* A shitty celebration of murder on Jimmy Kimmel* Pete H on the Hill * Women in combat is not a weird debate * RIP David Lynch* RIP Bob Uecker This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with

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21:57

Members Only #244 - Second Sunday Coming Down

The Fifth Column ·

2025/01/16

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comA rebroadcast of our most recent “Second Sunday” episode, during which paying subscribers can hop on a Zoom call, ask us questions, berate us, tell meandering stories, and be generically clever/hilarious/insane. On this episode, we talk to a number of people in Los Angeles about the ongoing conflagrations and the city government’s predictably feckless r…

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113:34

#485 - The Fire This Time

The Fifth Column ·

2025/01/10

* Black Bill Kristol* Nobody beats the Rizz* Stealing Greenland* Yet another horrible big city mayor * When you love Castro, you are obviously an incompetent moron* Forget it, Matt. It's Chinatown* More on the 🔥* Is big city governance killing progressivism?* Your lying eyes* Elon’s Nazis* Mark Zuckerberg and “winning” on free speech* The end of corporate walkout culture* January 6 pardons and pizzagate crazy person gunned down * Hobo stabs thug This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss

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17:00

Members Only #243 - Pox Blankets, Political Cartoons,...

The Fifth Column ·

2025/01/06

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Lia the diva * The era of athlete actors * Moynihan correction: It was Bubba Smith in Police Academy. Dick Butkus was in Police *Story*.* I want to make fun of my boss* Awful political cartoons * More on progressive schools * Are you a hypocrite, MM?* Reflections on Jimmy Carter, DPRK fan * The neo-neocons?* The vibe shift and the sense of the heroic (says MAGA Matt)* Matt…

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87:53

#484 - Pumps, Converts, Fatwas, and Ex-Presidents

The Fifth Column ·

2025/01/02

* No more Bobby* No resolutions* Pump it up: The bionic podcast host* New Year’s terror in NOLA and Vegas* The military connection that doesn’t matter* The advent of “car ramming”* In celebration of Chaim Sapir* Forgotten terror* When Charlie destroyed our faith in the media class* Jimmy Carter’s awful op-ed* Erasing Islamism* Revisiting Rushdie* Getting scammed by the “truth” people* Broken kneecap policing This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get

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17:03

Members Only #242 - The Emo Episode

The Fifth Column ·

2024/12/30

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* An episode that takes a break from politics?* Stars, tardigrades, and microscopy * Race in space* Matt and Moyn watch “A Complete Unknown,” come to different conclusions* Phantom and 40mg* AI’s take on this section: “Listener emails prompt discussions on art, personal struggles, and growth during the holidays.”* Books for young men searching….* Can The Man Who Shot L…

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101:43

#483 - The Christmas Cromnibus and a Slow Boat to...

The Fifth Column ·

2024/12/20

* Pivot to Zoom * Rereading books* The ex-presidents * “It’s 1,547 pages of unreadable garbage. Every year, it’s like Christmas."* Chip the RHINOOOOOO* Elon’s Political Fantasy Camp!* Is Trump losing his power to threaten?* The end of AOC?* Before his own inevitable perp walk, Mayor Adams does a hot assassin perp walk* Insurance companies redux * Kmele is a bad drinker * Don Jr. trades up* Barron is everyone’s boyfriend This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers

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24:10

Members Only #241 - Tinder Trotskyists, Siouxsie and...

The Fifth Column ·

2024/12/16

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* If you think it’s expensive now, wait until it’s free* Unpersuasive persuasion * How race is like probiotic soda* Ends and means* "If one killing is justified, where do you draw the line—10,000? A million?"* Siouxsie and the Nazis / Bill Grundy* Tinder Trotskyists* More “memoirs about trauma and identity”* ‘Oh, they’re taxing us, let’s go murder people.’* 23andme and Zor…

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110:20

#482 - Centrism Kills (w/ Josh Barro)

The Fifth Column ·

2024/12/12

* The Daniel Penny verdict* REinstitutionalization* When should the state involuntarily commit?* Remember, she was a very bad candidate * The great exhale* Joe and the Squad* A fake Portuguese guest* Barro blowback?* On the Substack revolution * The repulsive Luigi Mangioni* The failed Kaczynski* And much more! This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

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5:49

Members Only #240 - One Hitter: Taylor Supports the...

The Fifth Column ·

2024/12/06

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comOne topic in the news. One quick podcast on that single topic (rather than just texting each other about how certain media figures are vulgar, stupid, and morally depraved). Welcome to the Fifth Column One Hitter! In our inaugural episode, Matt and Moyn get pissed off about the hideous reaction from certain very online cretins to the awful murder of Uni…

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99:46

#481 - From the Mexico of Heaven

The Fifth Column ·

2024/12/05

* Little Moynihan’s pediatric cancer fundraiser can be found here! This might be the opposite of an incentive, but a random donor will be chosen for a personalized roast video from Moyn and his daughter…* The idiot winds (That “One More Cup of Coffee” live performance MM referenced) * Pete Hegseth replaced by Ronny D?* Ok, you asked for it…with new information, the lads return to the Hunter pardon* "Is he really doing something injurious?"* Preemptive pardons?* The uselessness of cable “news”*

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18:04

Members Only #239 - I Never Promised You a Rose Garden

The Fifth Column ·

2024/12/02

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* The boys had just heard the Biden pardon news. So much they missed about the specifics…and this brilliant video had not yet been created. * Citizens of the Fifdom debate RFK* The professional Youtube debaters * Teens and true crime * JonBenet * How to interview your dad* A listener asks: Is Dan Crenshaw the worst?* Park Slope politics and the crotch Magen David * The M…

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