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PODCAST

Composed

Chase Bernstein

Chase Bernstein tackles the minutiae of everyday life through a stream of consciousness filled bursting with humor, subtlety and passion.

comedy stand-up

All Episodes

29:54

Staples Has Entered The Chat

Composed ·

2022/12/20

A planner debacle, a signature nail, in the midst of the holiday season no less.

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35:09

What's Happening Now

Composed ·

2022/12/13

The unfurling of my vine (not a metaphor) trapped in my garage (also not a metaphor) mayhem in the Von's parking lot (not that you thought it was but just to be clear, not a metaphor) all this plus setting the table for 2023. Let's dine.

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37:30

My Vine

Composed ·

2022/12/06

Episode 95 is leaving no stones unturned. "What stones?" You may be asking yourselves, and not that it's any of your business but examples of the aforementioned stones are: A churro alternative, a live reaction to the Avatar 2 trailer, as well as finding out my neighbor's last name.

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37:39

Rite Aid Doesn't Sell Bananas

Composed ·

2022/11/29

"A post Thanksgiving triumph." - Freddy Prinze Jr.

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29:17

Marshall's Member Etc.

Composed ·

2022/11/22

A pre Thanksgiving spread including but not limited to: a catastrophic reorganization of my apps (not a metaphor), an impassioned rant regarding herbs, an appearance at a tennis club, endless hot chocolate, astro turf. Pray you saved room for dessert but absolutely not legally responsible if you didn't.

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35:01

Calligraphy Etc.

Composed ·

2022/11/08

Episode 92 comes barrelling down the highway carrying precious cargo in the form of riveting topics such: a calligraphy tutorial gone wrong, oatmeal, and seasons- recorded mere days after all my taste buds were eradicated at the hand of a tempting, fresh batch of turkey chili... aye dios mio.

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45:54

La Jolla Diaries

Composed ·

2022/11/01

Episode 91 finds me fresh off a stint in La Jolla that came with many highs in the form of electricity that only a quaint seaside town can provide, as well as lows including but not limited to: an icy smoothie, a missed opportunity for a stretch, and a dressing room with no mirror. Typing this with shorn nails... tragically you'll understand soon enough.

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34:39

Live Chia Seed Pudding Tasting Etc.

Composed ·

2022/10/25

If you're looking for a light listen, episode 90 is not for you... tendentious topics explored include: a regional soy sauce shortage, a sub par candle selection, all culminating in a visit to the gold member's lounge at the newly renovated Citibank, as well as an anti climatic return to Barnes and Noble. If you're in a stable place in your life and can handle the chaos that is episode 90, come on in, and if not... we'll catch you on the next one.

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43:31

Citibank Renovations And More

Composed ·

2022/10/18

Based on zero evidence, I feel as though most podcasts phone it in for episode 89, and listen... I get it. It's not episode 90 and lord knows it isn't 100, but that's just it, it's episode 89. It's not some huge landmark, not some big to do. It's casual, informal; let's change into pajamas and order some pizza, and sometimes? Those are the nights you remember. No, this episode 89 is not lackluster, in fact, it's full of luster, positively glistening with banter covering topics such as Citi Bank

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39:47

Mini Pumpkin Trough Etc.

Composed ·

2022/10/04

An inspired parking lot tangent, a deep dive on a trunk issue, a disappointing juice purchase, going through customs at London Heathrow. In short, a slay.

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33:20

Loose German Shepard Etc.

Composed ·

2022/09/27

If anyone needs me during episode 87, I'll be on nextdoor app... any questions? Didn't think so.

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33:04

Baggage Claim Etc.

Composed ·

2022/09/20

Episode 86 finds us three weeks into an emotional plantain chip cleanse, being in London when the Queen passed, and welcoming Werther's back into the conversation. All this plus alfalfa sprouts, a potentially problematic wheat grass shot, and not letting the concept of rain deter you- what does that mean? Guess you'll have to listen to find out. Ciao.

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36:42

California Pizza Kitchen Etc.

Composed ·

2022/08/09

An unexpected trip to Westfield Century City (not sponsored) is afoot and emotions are running high.

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29:55

Soy Sauce Etc.

Composed ·

2022/08/02

A kitten named Gigi, a chocolate croissant excursion, as well as other sizzling observations.

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18:11

Live Watermelon Slicing Etc.

Composed ·

2022/07/26

Waking up dizzy will not stop me from recording episode 83 nor will it stop me from facilitating a live watermelon slicing... throw in an Aunty Ann cameo and we've got ourselves a short, as well as extremely sweet episode.

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35:31

Sand Bar Etc.

Composed ·

2022/07/19

"Where's episode 82?!" The townspeople cried, most of them in absolute hysterics. With earth shattering topics such as: a barnes and noble gift card, eating a lobster roll on a beach in rhode island, and volleyball... can you blame them? Oh, and you can call off the search party; the townspeople ending up finding episode 82... in their hearts. Good morning.

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37:12

Mobile Check Deposit Etc.

Composed ·

2022/06/28

Episode 81, anyone? On the docket: becoming a member at Gap, books, and a mobile check deposit journey, which has honestly yet to be completed. Plus an encore involving the heavenly event that was dining at a new sweetgreen location. Blessed to have a platform.

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26:51

Episode 80

Composed ·

2022/06/22

Emojis in emails, being a really good skier, a deep dive on Quaker Oats Oatmeal flavors in which I nearly drowned, plus being an official affiliate for Odacite skincare along with my electric code CHASE15. God is good and so is episode 80.

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85:30

Wordle w/ Ahamed Weinberg

Composed ·

2022/06/14

When Ahamed and I met doing open mics in 2012, there was no way for us to possibly know that a mere 10 years later we would collaborate on what we now know of as episode 79. Absolutely zero ways to understand that we would be discussing enrapturing topics such as: buying stuff in another city, root canals, and water. Positively impossible that we could perceive of us playing several rounds of Wordle... without ever visiting the Wordle website. But that's the thing about time. We didn't know need to

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27:52

Dear Being In A Dressing Room When Your Heart's Not...

Composed ·

2022/06/07

Had no idea I was going to be this hydrated for episode 78 but at the same time it makes so much sense. My unprecedented levels of hydration gave me the boost I needed to tackle mesmerizing topics such as: My mom's hula hoop, Stranger Things, Subway, the concept of reserved parking. Polishing off the last sips of my Hydro Flask (20 oz) as I type this...

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157 results

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