PODCAST

Ficta Inferno

Maya Baker

Dramatic readings of terrible fanfictions/fiction from the internet

fiction comedy fiction

All Episodes

01:39:05

Handbook for Mortals Part Eleven (Don't kiss the...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/09/19

At last we get to the show they've all been working on, and honestly it's a snooze. It's One thing cloaked in shiny glitter, and heavy velvet. But during the show is all right? Will the hosts ever stop talking about interesting things and just get on with the damn story? Over halfway through, but the tension is actually rising.

01:03:42

Handbook for Mortals Part 10 (Well this went from 0...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/09/12

Is there something going on with Charles and Zade? Is Zade gaslighting the shit out of everyone? Will we ever get to see what goes on in the show? Why do Jackson and Mac find Zade attractive again? There's so many questions yet we will only have some of these answered.

02:23:44

Handbook for Mortals Part 9 (Get the F*ck away from...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/09/05

Zade keeps using her powers for evil, mainly hurting others that have done her wrong. Charles is prying into Mac's relationship with her, it comes off as super creepy and no one likes it. Mac doesn't believe in magick, Jackson does. Zade keeps referencing people being rude to her about her tarot reading when we've got two readers right here who know others that do the same- it's confusing as shit. As always, Lani Sarem didn't do her damn research.

00:00:11

Sorry Folks!

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/08/29

Please stand by...

01:06:34

Handbook for Mortals Part 8 (C.S is a bottom)

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/08/22

Zade and Sofia make up? Maybe? It's uncertain at this point, but still every character in this book deserves better than what they have been given. This feels like a filler chapter and nothing more, like all this filler episodes of One Piece and Naruto- nothing really comes of it.

01:05:42

Handbook for Mortals Part 7 (Don't make eye contact...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/08/15

Last chapter Zade shamed women for having feminine interests, this chapter Zade explores her own interests with playing with mommy's make-up for the most part- somehow this is meant to be endearing. Jackson is followed by a strange creature (brought to you by yours truly) and Zade can only cook soup from a can ( we assume).

01:40:25

Handbook for Mortals Part 6 (Zade is not like other...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/08/08

It comes down to that the only reason Tad isn't trying to bang Zade is because he's married (because that stops him somehow), we don't know the name of his wife because she isn't important, literally Zade is only friends with the guys, the show is a cult, and Mac doesn't know a thing about boundaries. Tell us again why we are rooting for these assholes?

02:37:27

Handbook For Mortals Part 5 (The Girl at The Rockshow)

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/08/01

It literally takes us the whole time to read through one chapter, though it is a long chapter. Zade goes to Jackson's show with his band 'The Plain White T's' and of course her only concern is which guy will she choose. Not the fact that her contact with her mom is fractured or the fact that she was blasted into a wall in the previous chapter by a mystery person, no. Just her love life. I know, you're just as excited as we are!

02:31:40

Handbook For Mortals Part 4 (We're going on a camping...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/07/25

Zade wasted the budget on food for booze, thus everyone has to fight over 'smores. Also this show starts to sound more and more like a cult the further we get into it, at least that's the story we're sticking to.

02:44:28

Handbook For Mortals Part 3 (Unreliable narrator and...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/07/18

OSHA and all safety is violated in today's episode as Zade "That So Raven's" with her apparent premonitions that aren't mentioned until this very chapter. Why? Because it's convenient? No one knows. Also the editor didn't do well with editing the actual text, Lani can't write her own events consistently, and it just keeps getting worse each week.

01:47:38

Firefox Part 3 (What personality!?)

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/07/11

We're in for part three where we actually get more than two whole chapters in!? That's right, we buckle down for he most part and actually get to reading...this...whatever this is. It's hard to tell what this is anymore; a story or just info dumps up the ass? Also, find as on Twitter @TruFictaInferno, more details to come!

02:22:39

Handbook for Mortals Part Two (Zade is hostile in the...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/06/27

Part two leaves us with an argument between Zade and her 'romantic interest' and leading us into even more of a shitstorm of things that don't even really matter. We also get to meet the secondary 'romantic interest' and it's just as interesting, and by interesting I mean boring, as you think it will be!

01:43:09

Foxfire Part 2 (What story!?)

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/06/20

As we're getting into the second part, one can only imagine just how long this telling is going to be; at 55 chapters more than likely at varying length, there is no hope. At least we're progressing with the story of the book and movie for the most part...even if its just info dumping everything!

02:48:06

Handbook for Mortals Part One (It's going to be a...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/06/13

This is the first of the few books that we purchased to read, Handbook for Mortals came out 2016/2017 and wanted to be the next 'Twilight', even though the craze had died down considerably. So far there's nothing but cringe and our favorite brand of constant exposition going on. I could go on about how bad this is, but listening to the pain and suffering might just bring some entertainment. Note we will still be reading Foxfire, we're going every other week on the stories.

02:47:11

We're Back! (Foxfire: The girl named after an...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/06/06

Soo it's been awhile! Sorry for the long absence, life just got in the way so we decided to come back with another Harry Potter Fanfic. Foxfire Cate is...the ultimate Mary-sue brought to you by bland story telling where it's literally just telling us vs showing us things that happen. Please send help.

01:35:52

Valentine's Day Special: Tentacles Entangled...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/02/14

Oh you read that right, apparently this is a thing. Besides this obvious troll fic, there have been others come across in the genre. This one isn't exactlt bad, more funny than anything, but there's nothing wrong with that!

00:00:26

Announcement: Sorry Guys!

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/02/07

So we’ve had a few mishaps with equipment dying and audio files being corrupt. Due to time, scheduling, and even weather we couldn’t pull it together to deliver today’s episode. But fear not! Next Sunday is Valentine’s Day meaning we’ll have an extra special episode.

02:03:26

Fifty Shades Freed (When are we getting to the movie?...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/01/31

Nothing happens. We have a rich white person honeymoon, corporate espionage, car chases, and kidnappings- but nothing happens. We finally made it through the last of this bullsh!t.

02:12:20

My Little Badass (Yet another ambitious cross-over)

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/01/24

A Five Nights at Freddy’s x Reader story, but not really since the reader’s name is actually Lexie. Indeed, it’s weird! Anyways, Lexi is a girl whose a ‘badass’ with a ~*tragic backstory*~ and falls in love with...an animatronic with the soul of a murderer(?), yet the cannon is bastardized once more!

01:36:57

Disney Descendants 2: The Wonderful World of Disney!...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/01/17

As the title says, nothing happens really. For the most part this fic has turned into a series of paragraphs that kind of connect yet they don't at the same time. Teenage pregnancy is apparently a thing, along with underage drinking. Lot of wholesome behavior for a Disney fic! It was short, not at all sweet, and a little bit painful at times to get through because the grammar was treated like a horse with a broken foot.

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