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PODCAST

We Read Movies

There are good gay movies out there, but we won"t be talking about them. We"re three unqualified nobodies who discuss the very worst that gay cinema has to offer. At We Read Movies, we don"t just watch movies, we read them for filth.

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All Episodes

69:16

The Christmas Setup

We Read Movies ·

2021/12/20

This week, we watched the 2020 Lifetime movie,The Christmas Setup. When an overbearing mother (Fran Drescher) sets her son up with a handsome millionaire computer genius who invented an app that can tell the future, he's initially annoyed. But soon he comes to realize that this guy is actually kind of a catch. Also they save an abandoned train station that's in danger of being torn down to make room for something that would actually help people. Topics discussed: NIMBY-ism Nancy Reagan's

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74:52

Everything is Free

We Read Movies ·

2021/12/06

This week, we talked about the 2017 movie Everything is Free. When Ivan, an American painter living in Colombia, is visited by his straight best friend, Cole, and Cole's supposedly straight younger brother, Christian, Ivan and Christian start confusingly falling in love. Also they meet a cult leader who worms his way into their house, but that doesn't really matter to the plot that much. Topics discussed: "Do you make me horny?" Sex sounds Chris names some nu metal bands he knows Spit as lube We

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66:41

On the Other Hand Death

We Read Movies ·

2021/11/22

This week, we watched the third in the Donald Strachey mystery movies, On the Other Hand Death. When a greedy land developer plans to do something confusingly illegal, it's up to the world's greatest gay detective Donald Strachey to save a lesbian couple from being run out of town. Can he solve the case, or will they have to move to Vermont and open up a B&B (which is their actual plan)? Topics discussed: Love dice A Libertarian Christmas Carol Why do elephants have trunks and not

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83:05

Homewrecker

We Read Movies ·

2021/11/08

This week, we talked about the 2009 movie Homewrecker, a movie where the cover prominently advertises that it features Tiffany from the Eating Out Series. When a wannabe actor infiltrates the home of two gay tv producers, he'll do everything he can to be in their next show, including a very convoluted and incoherent plot to break them up or something. Can they thwart his evil advances? Can they finish the concept for their new reality show? Will Tiffany actually make an appearance? Let's find

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84:14

Cthulhu

We Read Movies ·

2021/10/25

This week, we watched the 2007 film Cthulhu, a very loose gay retelling of the HP Lovecraft story,The Shadow Over Innsmouth. With an ambitious story, over the top acting, some truly terrible wigs and Tori Spelling, how could it not be great? Topics discussed: Boxes full of hands How many babies could you beat up? More sexy Pokemon The Cult of The Jerk Shack Chris read the book and he's not gonna shut up about it Spoilers, but Cthulhu never shows up We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by

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79:18

Spiral

We Read Movies ·

2021/10/11

This week, getting in the Halloween spirit early, we watched the 2019 horror movie Spiral. When a former club kid (Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman) moves to the suburbs with his wet blanket husband, he uncovers a cult that plans to use homophobia to live forever. Also he meets a ghost who hands him some video tapes that explain the whole plot but that he refuses to watch. Topics discussed: Gay Knockoff Transformers The strange racket that is Neapolitan pizza Butthole bleaching 4 What do straight people

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85:40

Angels With Tethered Wings

We Read Movies ·

2021/09/27

This week, we watched the soft core porn pretending to be an actual movie Angels With Tethered Wings. When twink porn stars Grant and Timmy are murdered, they come back as zombies for revenge. And also there's a missing briefcase full of money, and an undercover mob boss, and a gravedigger who has sex with corpses, and a million flashbacks. This movie is impossible to explain, so listen to us stumble around trying to for a long time! Topics discussed: Drew's top ten nuts Where do Cenobites come

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81:46

Boy Culture

We Read Movies ·

2021/09/13

This week, because the long awaited sequel series is supposed to be coming out any day now, we talked about the 2006 film Boy Culture. Set in our hometown of Seattle, the film centers around X, an $5000/hr male prostitute who slut shames his friends, is casually racist and generally sucks. Can he find love with his roommate, even though he doesn't deserve it? Let's find out! Topics discussed: Ghost nut The economics of extremely high-end escorts Commercials about pooping Being sexually aroused by

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88:12

Steam Room Stories: The Movie

We Read Movies ·

2021/08/30

This week, we watched the 2019 movie Steam Room Stories: The Movie, based on the long running queerbait-y web series of the same name. When an evil cosmetics mogul (Tracy Lords) tries to take over a steam room that's also the legendary Fountain of Youth, it's up to five studs, as stupid as they are sexy, to save the day. Topics discussed: Boys Gone Wild The "good" part of the dick Wet t-shirt contests Comedy Porn parody names We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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87:02

Somefarwhere

We Read Movies ·

2021/08/16

Everyone, this week's episode was tough on all of us. This movie doesn't make a bit of sense, and Eric may never forgive us for making him watch it. We watched the 2011 movie Somefarwhere, about a guy who goes to an unnamed Middle Eastern country to rescue his army boyfriend, and along the way gets tangled up in a plot not even the writer/director understands. Come along with us on this journey, but don't expect to understand it any better than we do Topics discussed: The Iraq-Pakistan

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67:54

Say Yes

We Read Movies ·

2021/08/02

This week, we watched the 2018 movie, Say Yes, about a woman with terminal cancer, who's last and most serious wish is that after she dies, her husband will have sex with her twin brother. If that sounds weird as heck, just buckle yourselves in! Topics discussed: Twincest Howard the Duck's PG rating John Edwards' sex tape Rolling a nat 20 on your persuasion check New ideas for Hallmark cards Uses for melons We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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80:56

Knife+Heart

We Read Movies ·

2021/07/19

This week, we watched the somewhat confusing but genuinely enjoyable French thriller Knife+Heart. A killer is stalking the cast of a gay porn studio with a dildo knife, and only Anne, the studio's alcoholic lesbian producer is taking it seriously. But can she navigate the a world of magical birds and dinosaur handed men to save the day in time? Topics discussed: Seriously, what's the point of fluffers? Everything we know about France we learned from EricVideos Culturally acceptable blackface How to

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69:06

Unhappy Birthday

We Read Movies ·

2021/07/05

This week, we talked about the 2010 movie Unhappy Birthday, which is hailed, in the Amazon description,as "a queer take on the Wicker Man" in that it's also British. When Sadie, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's boyfriend are all trapped on a mysterious island that's maybe haunted (and also there's a cult or something?) they'll have to escape if they want to avoid becoming baby-making surrogates to a full-grown woman in a dress made for a child's purity ring ceremony. If that description sounds

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82:17

Mulligans

We Read Movies ·

2021/06/21

Happy Father's Day! If you thought we'd had enough of dad sex, you've clearly never found our internet search history, so this week we watched the 2008 movie Mulligans. Best friends Tyler and Chase come home for the summer but Chase soon finds that... well, it's not quite love, but he finds that he'd maybe give sex with Tyler's Dad a chance. Does it blossom into something beautiful? Will the family find out this dark secret? Did Chase bring his shower shot from college? Let's find out! Topics

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84:59

The Dark Place

We Read Movies ·

2021/06/07

This week, we watched the 2014 movie The Dark Place. When Keegan Dark (definitely a real person's name), a young guy with a perfect memory, comes home to find his estranged mother has remarried and his new step brother is a possibly murderous guy with an amazing body, he has to solve the mystery of what the hell is going on in this movie. Topics discussed: Wine snobbery What if JK Simmons was in Fifty Shades of Gray The lamest X-Men powers The perfect crime The least comprehensible crime Step

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75:08

Daddy (with Minoritea Report)

We Read Movies ·

2021/05/24

This week, we watched the 2015 movie Daddy. An older man who once donated sperm in college, and now has a habit of hooking up with younger guys, meets the young guy of his dreams, and it turns out, wouldn't you know it, that they're actually related. Topics discussed: TV news pundits Not shaking your dick after peeing Incest porn Having sex in a dorm room as an adult Problematic storylines Links https://minoriteareport.libsyn.com/ We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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85:17

The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror

We Read Movies ·

2021/05/10

This week, we watched the 2007 horror comedy The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror. Not nearly as campy as the title promised, this film follows five separate couples as they all get murdered by an evil slug boy and his creepy family. What is the story behind these monstrous murderers? Will anyone survive? Let's find out! Topics discussed: My neck, my backstories What would you call a racist dog? Who's Manfred? Chris describes Underwear Snatchers Links mentioned in this

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94:58

Eating Out: All You Can Eat

We Read Movies ·

2021/04/26

This week, Mike and Kyle of Gayish are back to talk about Eating Out: All You Can Eat. The third in the Eating Out Series, this film features a brand new (mostly) cast of characters but the same old sexual trickery. But can it live up to the "second highest rating of the series" at 17%? Turns out, it can! Topics discussed: How much jizz is too much? Appropriate eulogies Cyber sex etiquette Is it gay if it's in a threesome with two other dudes? The ever deepening mystery of why Eric thinks people

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19:23

SHORTS: Demons

We Read Movies ·

2021/04/19

This week, we watched the 2017 short film Demons. In a world where murder is normal, but being gay is weird and gross, can a gay serial killer find acceptance and... maybe even love? Topics discussed: What's a metaphor? Purge worlds Piss play is not our thing, but if it's yours it's cool, just don't be a bad person about it Waterparks What if Air Bud played other sports? We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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75:22

Crisis Hotline

We Read Movies ·

2021/04/12

This week, we watched the 2019 movie Crisis Hotline. When Simon, a jaded LGBT Crisis Hotline operator, gets a call from someone who claims he's going to kill some porn producers, he has to... sit patiently on the phone until the guy eventually gets to his point. It's a very boring thriller, is our point. Topics discussed: The Dark Web The steps in the standard gay dating tango Meeting your boyfriend's bosses Meeting your boyfriend's bosses' boss, who's also a creepy sex trafficker Young tech

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120 results

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