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PODCAST

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey

Kelly and Lindsey

F*CK YOU, I"M SMARTER is a game show where Kelly Wallace-Barnhill and Lindsey Gentile compete with a guest to be crowned "The Smartest Person In The Room".

comedy comedy interviews

All Episodes

01:26:51

59. Staci Jacobs Was In All The Choirs

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/11/30

Choir girl, awkward child, and ex-Sex and the City tour guide Staci Jacobs joins us from her quarantine pad in NYC to play FYIS. For first period we go to "Ometries" class because Kelly likes to play on the guest's weaknesses, and Staci admitted to hating Trigonometry and Geometry. Then Lindsey takes us to Choir for a game called "Sing Out, Louise!", which Kelly is surprised to discover has nothing to do with Gypsy Rose Blanchard, who killed her abusive, Munchausen-Syndrome-by-proxy mother. (It will

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54:46

58. Thanksgiving Special

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/11/23

This week Kelly and Lindsey sit down for a special Thanksgiving episode. Gobble Gobble Bitches!!!! Kelly starts our day in History class where we learn the good, the bad and the ugly about the history of Thanksgiving. Remember when we made those cute little turkey drawings with our hands and our teachers told us that the Pilgrims and the INDIANS were besties?!?!? Well, first of all, Native Americans and B. They weren't exactly besties. That's the #truth. Lindsey then brings us back to Science

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01:11:18

57. Most Likely To Be Your New Bestie - Alison Rosen

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/11/16

Host of the hit podcast 'Alison Rosen is your New Best Friend' and lover of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter", Alison Rosen is our guest this week. Wooooooo! Because Alison was once in a super cool Riot Grrrl band called The Angoras, Kelly takes us to Animal Husbandry class where we play the game, "Angora vs Angora". Spoiler: The answer is Angora. Don't tell anyone!!! In honor of her successful pod, ARIYNBF, for Geography class (Or History Class, who knows?) we play the fun and very convoluted

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43:42

56. Eggs Galore

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/11/09

Are you ready to hear what's on the menu this week? Eggs, eggs, eggs - with a side of ovaries. Yummy yummy yummy! That's right, it's egg freezing week at FYIS High School! Because Lindsey is follicle-deep in freezing her eggs, Kelly and Lindsey have a special egg freezing episode that is anything but sexy. We promise you that. The (hopefully) Fertile Myrtles head to Home Ec first for a game called "Eggs Are Eggcellent", where we talk about Lindsey's high school fake-baby-eggshell that she

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01:20:15

55. Biggest Fan Of Kirk Pynchon - Kirk Pynchon

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/11/02

Lindsey's friend, boss, and co-host of the Food Fight podcast, Kirk Pynchon stops by the Zoom room this week. Because Kirk was a dance major in the height of his jerkiness, Lindsey takes us to Dance class where we learn which famous rapper was once a professional ballet dancer. THIS IS WHY WE DO THIS SHOW, PEOPLE! Kelly tortures us with a Math class and double tortures Kirk because it's all about brunch and Kirk doesn't like brunch. Wait, why are we friends with him again? At recess we play

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01:03:13

54. Happy Halloweeeeenie!

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/10/26

Happy Halloween from your favorite funny idiots! You know what's scary? That we are in charge, that's what! For this special spooktacular episode we start off in home period with a Halloweeniiiiieeeee quiz where we find out WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS SPOOKY HOLIDAY. Ghosts. The answer is obviously ghosts. We also learn about what match-making and potatoes have to do with Halloween and who Michael Myers' face was modeled after. Spoiler: It's not Tommy Lee Jones. We then flashback to our favorite

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01:28:41

53. Jordan Morris Went Hard With The Drama Club

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/10/02

This week Kelly and Lindsey sit down with comedy writer, high school drama star, podcaster and all around funny human, Jordan Morris. Because Jordan grew up in the OC, we start our school day in Art Class where we play "Six Degrees of OC Punk Bands", where Lindsey somehow connects Jackson Pollock and ska, punk rock and Monet, and Sublime and Picasso. Convoluted? Yes. Does it work? Let us know! Then, because Jordan Morris 'went hard with the drama club' we go on over the Drama Class where we

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01:06:08

52. Happy Anniversary FYIS!

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/10/02

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ALL OF OUR 'F*CK YOU, I'M SMARTER' LISTENERS!!!! It has been one blissful, hilarious, educational, and extremely convoluted year. Can you believe that anyone is still listening? Neither can we! In honor of our one year anniversary, we travel back in time to revisit some of our favorite games from the past year and even Zoom Zoom Zoom with some of our favorite past guests. If we told you who, we'd have to kill you. But, also just listen to find out. That may be a better

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01:23:43

51. Legally Brunette - Nazanin Nour

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/10/02

Happy Monday to us all! This week Kelly and Lindsey sit down with actor, writer and judge on 'Persia's Got Talent', Nazanin Nour. In honor of Nazanin going pre-law (smarty pants) at George Mason University, we ease our students into the school day with some light ethnic cleansing talk with Kelly in Government class. Jeez. Louise. Thanks Miss Kelly for starting the day off right! Maybe we could have had our coffee first before we dove into such a dark, dark subject? Just a thought! Lindsey

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01:06:57

50. The Notorious RBG

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/09/28

This week, Kelly and Lindsey pay homage to the Notorious RBG, may she Rest In Power. We do a deep dive into her personal life as well as her career as the badass Supreme Court Justice she was from 1993 until the day she died at 87 years old. It is not lost on us that we are allowed to be the brazen, bold, loud and independent women we are today because of her. We thought there would be no better way to honor her than to sit down with another badass woman, Kelly's cousin Mary Wallace-Periac, who

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42:52

49. Kelly and Lindsey Do The High Holy Days

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/09/21

L'shana Tova, little nuggets! That means ''Happy New Year'' in Hebrew - if you don't know, now you know! This week we are celebrating the High Holy Days! Challah! (Said like, Holla! Get it?) First Kelly and Lindsey sit down and talk Rosh Hashanah, aka the Jewish new year, and Lindsey teaches Kelly all about blowing the shofar and butt blasts. Sounds sexual but we promise it's not. The ladies then get even sexier and dive into the other High Holy day, Yom Kippur aka the "Day of Atonement", and

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01:38:39

48. Most Likely To Be A Broadway Star - Mariand Torres

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/09/11

This week Kelly and Lindsey sit down in a room together and Zoom with Broadway actress Mariand Torres to talk University of Miami, witchcraft, and being responsible for the breakdowns of several disgruntled teachers. We start the school day off with everyone’s favorite class, MATH. Lindsey swore that she would never teach math again yet somehow got roped into teaching Kelly and Mariand about geometry and introduces the ladies to the coolest and possibly the only song written about rhombuses.

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56:34

47. Kelly and Lindsey Labor Day Bonanza Extravaganza

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/09/06

First things first.... Happy Labor Day y’all!!!!! Second thing second, big announcement!!!! We are now doing sneak peeks of episodes of FYIS every Thursday at 5pm PDT on IG live so please join us!!! On this week’s episode, Kelly and Lindsey sit down in an actual room together just like Lindsey promised to chat about their recent trip to CAT Cityyyyyyy!!! Do you know where or what Cathedral City is? Probably not. All you need to know is that there is a movie theatre there and that Dirty John once

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01:24:32

46. Most Likely To Talk To Spirit Guides - Sarah Taylor

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/08/31

This week, these two idiots talk to comedian, writer, actor, mystic chick and Mandy Patinkin fan Sarah Taylor. Because Sarah leads full moon circles and reiki healing sessions, we start the school day off in astrology/astronomy and learn first of all, which is which and also what the dark side of the moon is besides an album that you start when you hear the third lion's roar in The Wizard Of Oz. We then hop, skip and jump over to English class to do a deep dive on some Shakespeare and his love for

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01:50:58

45. Future Carrie Bradshaw - Selena Coppock

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/08/24

This week K & L zoom zoom with author, comedian and former Sex and the City tour guide Selena Coppock to talk Magnolia Cupcakes, Manolo Blahniks and more. In honor of Selena’s New York Times Wedding section parody site, @NYTVows, we start off our school day in Home Ec where we play the game, “I Do Or I Don’t”. We then skip on over to everyone’s favorite class, Sex Ed, where we learn about blowjobs, clit size and food fetishes all through the eyes of our favorite Sex and the City foursome. We

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02:03:14

44. Most Likely To Major In Honeybees - Lars Mellis

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/08/17

This week, your favorite ladies sit down with astrologer, bee keeper, stand-up comic, tennis champ, metalhead and self-proclaimed animal dork Lars Mellis. Kelly starts our day off in Zoology with snail facts for days. Snail sex first thing in the morning? Sign us up! We then hop on over to Shop class for the game 'Shop Is So Fucking Metal' where we learn about steel, carbon, nikel and GLAM METAL, baby!!!! Death to all but metal!!!!! During recess, Lars reads our astrology charts and

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01:36:37

43. Dani Faith Leonard Peaked In Elementary School

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/08/10

This week we talk to Dani Faith Leonard - producer, comedian, host of 'Adult Sex Ed', and one of Lindsey's best college buddies. They reminisce about the good 'ole days in their abusive University of Miami theatre program (there was a day called "Gun Day" you guys) and Dani talks about growing up on Long Island as a artsy, liberal Jew in a conservative, remedial town. First, Lindsey takes us to Marching Band, where we learn about some of the disgusting scandals that mar one of Dani's sacred

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01:31:07

42. Most Likely To Go To Yale - David Marker

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/08/03

On week 5 million of the quarantine, Kelly and Lindsey sit down with producer and former Nebraskan David Marker to talk about corn, Carhenge, and comic books. Because David was a math whiz and excelled in choir, Lindsey started the school day off with a mashup class that she sloppily named 'Machoir'. Look, Lindsey said that she was never going to teach another math class again and she had to get creative. Okay? Great. With math out of the way, Kelly then took us to Gym where we learned that the

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02:06:03

41. J'adore Is The Life Of The Party

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/07/27

To say that Kelly and Lindsey were excited about this week's guest would be a lie. The truth is is that they were really really REALLY excited to sit down with stylist, creative consultant, professional organizer, brand manager and all around problem-solver J'adore Tarrell. So excited that the episode is over 2 hours long. Oops! J'adore has worked and travelled all over the world, so Kelly starts our day off in Geography class with the game 'Boarding Pass or Fail' where we learn about the art

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56:28

40. National Lampoon's Pandemic Family Vacation

F*ck You, I"m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey ·

2020/07/20

Neither rain nor hail nor sleet nor snow nor heat of day nor virus of corona shall keep the Gentiles from their road trip. This week Kelly interrupts their dinner to catch up with Lindsey and her parents, Zooming in from Idaho from the nicest hotel Lindsey's dad has ever been to in his life. Nick Gentile reads from his trip diary, retracing their tire tracks through the Wild West, and teaching us a thing or two about American History in the process. We learn about George Washington's lapels on

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119 results

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