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PODCAST

THE QUACK

The Quack is a comedy blog and podcast featuring real-life facepalm moments & muddled observations told by British contemporary fiction author Mary Newnham. Visit TheQuack.blog. Follow Mary on @marynewnhamwrites.

society & culture personal journals

All Episodes

07:04

THE BABY SHOWER AND MY NAGGING EGGS.

THE QUACK ·

2024/06/24

"As I ate my plant-based scone, I heard that luring voice coming from an ovary. “You can throw an afternoon tea party too…if you just use one of us." When you're single, 32, and at your friend's baby shower... SKIP INTRO 2:05

en

09:10

THE WEEK I BECAME A CRAZY CAT LADY.

THE QUACK ·

2024/06/19

Cats have mastered the subtle art of not giving a f***. Last week I looked after Enzo...This is the story of how I went a little crazy.

en

06:37

AMSTERDAM: A FRIENDSHIP TEST

THE QUACK ·

2024/06/17

When Hermione opened her egg sandwich on the Eurostar, I was reminded of why I don't do group holidays. A story about a girls' trip to Amsterdam. (Skip Intro 2:08)

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07:46

OUT OF 10, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS, MY DEAR?

THE QUACK ·

2024/06/12

If the partner’s number is higher than the other, then they get their way...A discussion with Sex Ed Tom about relationship strategies...

en

06:18

THE NOT-SO-GREAT CORNWALL SANDCASTLE COMPETITION

THE QUACK ·

2024/06/10

Gran Pat was dragged from her gin and crossword to do the judging. She moved from castle to castle, whilst smoking a cigarette.A childhood memory of when my grandmother judged the family sandcastle competition in Cornwall.

en

08:21

CAN YOU PULL OFF YOUR NAME?

THE QUACK ·

2024/06/05

“Everyone always forgets the tzatziki,” Oliver said, very proud of himself.This week it's Hermione's 32nd birthday, and under the grey sky in a field, we talk about our names. Does Oliver suit being an Ollie? Have Millennial parents gone too far with the unique names? Should I call myself MA MA?

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08:20

THE HOLIDAY: MAKE OR BREAK

THE QUACK ·

2024/06/03

During this week away, you discover things about your partner that can only be exposed in such circumstances, like airport security. A look into the types of couple holidays, and where it can all go wrong.

en

08:56

THE WEEKEND I GOT NEW EYES

THE QUACK ·

2024/05/29

I knew, even with my eyes closed, he was attempting to build the John Lewis trolley. “Leave it! I will do it when I can see again!” I shouted from the bed.A face palm true story about the weekend I was recovering from laser eye surgery.

en

06:47

A BRIT GIRL GOES ON A WASHINGTON D.C. TOUR

THE QUACK ·

2024/05/27

“Now, who here thinks the White House looks small?” Joey asked the group. I shot up my hand. A comical story of my 4-hour tour around Washington D.C. (I'm sorry for the bad accents in this recording).

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08:06

LOCKER ROOM TALK

THE QUACK ·

2024/05/22

I think it's time to MUTE... AND...ARCHIVE....This week we're laughing at the dating advice and game plans that are offered in the locker room.

en

06:57

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER...?

THE QUACK ·

2024/05/20

"Snow, why aren't you whistling when you work anymore?" Here is a quick look into what really happened to those Disney marriages...

en

07:43

MY CATHOLIC CHILDHOOD: THE BODY OF CHRIST IS MADE...

THE QUACK ·

2024/05/15

I was lured into Catholicism as a child by the promise of pick-and-mix at the end of Sunday Mass. A story about my catholic childhood and my first confession.

en

08:23

HINGE: WHERE WOMEN ARE GOING WRONG

THE QUACK ·

2024/05/13

If I wanted to play Where’s Wally, I would buy a Where’s Wally book... Today’s Quack looks into the 5 mistakes women make when trying to attract a mate on Hinge.

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08:10

WOULD YOU LIVE WITH A MAN AGAIN?

THE QUACK ·

2024/05/08

It never occurred to me that I would live by myself again... A little thought. As more of us choose to settle down later, can we adapt to having someone else in our space? To read the blog post visit, TheOxfordQuack.Blog Music credit: Sound Stripe. EILOH_Cool_instrumental & Shimmer_West_instrumental

en

07:59

HINGE: WHERE MEN ARE GOING WRONG

THE QUACK ·

2024/05/06

A man posted a video of himself jumping out on his mate. Classic, amusing move. Will it get you laid? No. Three common ways men go wrong when trying to attract women on Hinge.

en

10:16

A SOBER NIGHT IN THE NOTORIOUS INFERNOS.

THE QUACK ·

2024/05/01

So, there we were, old as hell, with a threatening net of balloons above our heads, and Backstreet Boys blasting out.A story (and a review), about my sober night in one of London's most infamous clubs.

en

05:51

YOUR PARTNER AND THEIR HOBBIES

THE QUACK ·

2024/04/29

"Take a man who says he really really loves cycling…" A quick thought about the role hobbies play in a relationship. Should you have the same hobby, or stay far away from each other's pursuits?

en

08:26

DATING APPS: THE QUICK FLICK OF THE ICK.

THE QUACK ·

2024/04/24

"...then I’m replaceable with another, Blonde-Avocado-Toast-Munching-30-Something-Year-Old...." Has the disposable nature of dating apps made it too easy to get the ick?

en

05:20

MARATHONS: THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND

THE QUACK ·

2024/04/22

Sponsor Stu, he’s going to run three marathons in one day with a wasp nest on his head. A quick observation into marathons.

en

08:27

A CRUISE TO RUSSIA: THE LAST FAMILY HOLIDAY

THE QUACK ·

2024/04/17

"Each night they would emerge red-eyed at the dinner table, once with a confession that one of them had vomited on the side of the ship."A true story about an awkward teenager on her last family holiday.

en

90 results

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