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PODCAST

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children"s mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you"re parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

48:45

Ep. 198: All Behavior Makes Sense

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/10/08

All behavior makes sense and no behavior is maladaptive- in the moment that behavior emerges.Of course, the IMPACT of the behavior might be maladaptive and absolutely many behaviors need to change.But understanding that all behavior makes perfect sense at the moment it emerges is the lynchpin in offering folks co-regulation, connection, and felt-safety.In this episode, you’ll learnHow all brains create realityThe brain’s most important jobThe most effective path to take if you want to see beh...

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43:08

EP 197: How Can the Club Help Me?

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/10/04

It’s really important to me and my team that you have all the information you might need when making the decision to join The Club- or not.The Club is open for new members now, October 1-8, 2024, and I recorded this episode based on some of the most commonly asked questionsIn this episode, you’ll learnWhat The Club even is and why it’s different than other parenting communitiesWhat’s included in your Club membership (so much!)How easy it is to access and participate in The ClubHow easy it is ...

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39:11

EP 196: Whiplash! When a Meltdown Comes Outta Nowhere

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/10/01

Whiplash. You probably know what I mean. You start to be lulled into a life with fewer meltdowns, or less intensity. Then BOOM. An old behavior seems to explode out of nowhere. You’re right back to feeling like everything’s awful or it’ll never get better or you’ll have to live like this forever. You might even be frustrated with yourself that you let yourself ‘relax.’All of these experiences are completely normal for folks who love someone with a chronic condition that occasionally...

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40:08

EP 195: Self Regulation Doesn't Exist (2nd Edition)

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/09/24

If self-regulation doesn't really exist- then what do we mean when we talk about self-regulation? And why does it matter?In this episode, you’ll learnWhat self-regulation REALLY isHow “self” regulation developWhy you should still teach self-regulation skillsResources mentioned in this podcast:What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist!!! (ep 43)Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/selfregulationFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you ca...

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63:07

EP 194: Improving Connections Between Home and School...

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/09/17

We could never have too many ideas about how to cultivate connections between home and school. Author of Light Up the Learning Brain (and Riley the Brave) Jessica Sinarski shares practical ideas that can help parents and schools work together to support kids with vulnerable nervous systems.In this episode, you’ll learnPractical, easy-to-implement strategies to create connections between parents and teachersWhy regulation is foundational for learningWhere to find resources that support educato...

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41:55

EP 193: Why So Controlling?

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/09/10

Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems is practically synonymous with “controlling.” Our kids are controlling and for most of us, if we were honest, we’d notice that the stress of parenting is causing us to get controlling, too.Why?In this episode, you’ll learnWhy protection mode almost always leads to an increase in controlling behaviorHow controlling behavior is an attempt to find safety and connectionTips on how to offer co-regulation to a child who is attempting to control youReso...

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38:51

EP 192: Is Co-Regulation Just Coddling??

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/09/03

Almost every time I teach, especially if there are folks in the audience not already familiar with my work or the concept of co-regulation, someone asks the very valid question of- “Isn’t this (co-regulation) just coddling?”Fair question! There are a lot of underlying assumptions and fears in this question that we will deconstruct in today’s episode.Spoiler: Co-regulation is NOT coddling!In this episode, you’ll learnThe difference between co-regulation and coddlingWhy asking this questio...

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51:37

REPLAY: When Your Child Won't Talk About Their...

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/08/27

This episode originally aired on November 7th, 2023Does your child yell, scream, or otherwise refuse to talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain?They tell you it’s stupid or tell you to stop talking or get extra silly or just don’t talk?I hear this from a LOT of parents (and I experienced it a lot in the play therapy room).This doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for your child. Promise.In this episode you’ll learn:The developmental milestones needed before a child can identify or talk about ...

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24:57

REPLAY: Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain?

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/08/20

This episode originally aired February 17th, 2023I’ve been listening for a while and the watchdog and possum brain ideas have really helped me. Is it OK to teach this to my kids too? I’m worried they’ll start using it as excuses.I get this question all the time! If we teach our kids about the watchdog and possum brain are they going to start saying things like “My watchdog brain made me hit my sister!”In this episode, I:Outline the benefits of teaching our kids about their brain (there are lo...

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42:28

EP 191: Helping Siblings with Verbal Aggression

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/08/13

Does your child with a vulnerable nervous system say mean, hurtful, taunting, or aggressive things to your other kids? You already know you can’t control what comes out of someone else’s mouth, so what do you do??? How do you help your kids deal with their sibling’s verbal aggression?In this episode, you’ll learnSteps to help increase your children’s psychological boundariesActivities that will help your children increase their psychological boundariesResources mentioned in this podcast:Setti...

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40:20

EP 190: When Two (or more) Kids Are Dysregulated at...

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/08/06

What on earth should you do when you have more than one child dysregulated at the same time? You’re outnumbered, you’re overwhelmed. Now what?In this episode, you’ll learnThe #1 step to take when more than one kid is dysregulatedWhat to prioritize How to have realistic expectations for yourselfResources mentioned in this podcast:Child Always Dysregulated? Try This! {EP 18}Stress Response System {EP 94}Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}Grief as the Sibling of a Child with Special ...

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36:56

EP 189: How to Help Siblings During a Meltdown

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/07/30

If you are a regular listener here on The Baffling Behavior Show, big, baffling behaviors and big meltdowns are no longer surprising in your home.Even if we can’t predict those moments of 'Back-Off or, 'Attack' Watchdog, "Shut Down' or, 'Play Dead' Possum, we can predict that it is going to happen again.You can create felt safety for the other children in your home by making a plan.In this episode, you’ll learnKey things to consider when making a plan for what siblings should do during a melt...

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39:41

EP 188: Grief as the Sibling of a Child with Special...

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/07/23

Grief is hard to acknowledge and talk about. The truth is, there is grief involved with being the sibling of a child with a special need. In today’s episode, we’re exploring how to support the siblings of kids with a nervous system disability with behavior-based symptoms with all their feelings, especially grief. In this episode, you’ll learnHow to validate all your children’s feelings, even when they are really uncomfortableHow to acknowledge the truth that in most circumstances, your other ...

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38:49

EP 187: Teach Siblings about Owls, Watchdogs, and...

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/07/16

One way we can support the siblings of kids with big, baffling behaviors is to teach them about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some way to understand the brain and behaviors) as well as to teach them about nervous system vulnerabilities and ‘overactive’ watchdog and possum brains!In this episode, you’ll learnSteps to take when teaching siblings about owls, watchdogs, and possums so they won’t feel like you’re just excusing bad behaviorThe importance of validating your kids’ experience that ...

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44:19

EP 186: Helping Siblings Understand "Unfair" Parenting

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/07/09

Do you have kids who feel like the way you parent their sibling (the one with the worst behavior!!!) is unfair?We’ll be tackling different topics on how to support siblings over the next month.In this episode, you’ll learnThe five things to consider when thinking about how to help siblings understand ‘unfair’ parentingAre you parenting all your kids thru the lens of regulation, connection, and felt safety?Do all your children know about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some other way to under...

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63:55

EP 185: Setting Boundaries that Stick with Juliane...

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/07/02

Something new and unexpected here on The Baffling Behavior Show!This episode is actually from the Therapist Uncensored Podcast with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley. Sue and Ann interviewed one of y'alls FAVORITES- Juliane Taylor Shore.Juliane was on The Baffling Behavior Show a long time ago, talking about psychological boundaries and verbal aggression. This is one of my most played episodes EVER.Juliane just published a new book on boundaries so when Sue and Ann asked if I wanted to do a podcast...

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50:12

EP: 184 How to Not Care what Other People Think

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/06/25

Parents of kids with baffling behaviors are CONSTANTLY being judged by others.How do we get to a point where we don’t care as much about what other people think?In this episode, we’ll explore:Some of the most common judgments that parents of kids with baffling behaviors receiveHow it’s actually not possible to not care at all, but we can care LESSThree things we can do so that the judgment from others doesn’t impact us as much as it does nowFor a script on how to set boundaries with folks exp...

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32:06

REPLAY: How Behavior Changes

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/06/21

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ~Carl RogersYou know, one of my favorite things about studying relational neuroscience is discovering the science that proves things we’ve known all along. Not everyone needs the science, and I know some think the science detracts from the powerful truths that people have been brave enough to say and believe without having science to back it up. I think both approaches are fine. I just happen ...

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33:07

EP 183: Is Watchdog and Possum Behavior Always...

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/06/18

Do the Watchdog and Possum pathway only activate in protection mode? Are they always protective?NO! It is possible to have safe and connected Watchdog energy and safe and connected Possum energy!Why does this distinction matter?In this episode, you’ll learnWhat safe and connected watchdog energy feels likeWhat safe and connected possum energy feels likeWhy it’s important to remember we aren’t trying to get rid of the watchdog or the possum- we are trying to help them rest and only work hard w...

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52:59

REPLAY: Scaffolding is a Form of Co-Regulation

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} ·

2024/06/14

What does my child need for their success to be inevitable?If I wanted to paint the top of a 20 foot wall, I’d rent some scaffolding. Scaffolding makes the floor higher and would get me as close to the top of the wall as I needed. The scaffolding would help make my success inevitable. It’s not the only thing I need to be successful (paint would come in handy!), but it’s a really important piece. In parenting, scaffolding is the support that we put in place that allows ...

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