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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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1:16

George brings the beach

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/11

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He preferred the feel of sand between his toes to the wet wooden deck of the ship. So, when the ship docked at port, he hauled sand from the beach to the ship and spread it all over the deck. The extra weight slowed the ship down, and it took longer to catch up to cargo vessels that they wanted to raid. "Fine by me," said George, laying in a chaise lounger on the deck and sipping an umbrella drink. "More time for me to work on my tan."

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10:51

Weekly Challenge #1007 – Cruising

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/10

Richard Lizzie Tom Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is It’s going down… LISA Come Fly with Me It felt good to be out cruising along, feeling the breeze beneath my wings. Endless possibilities for the day lay ahead. My driver today was old and small. He struggled to see over the dashboard. Our eyes met but I don’t think he saw me stuck to the windscreen. I could hear his music through the glass. We travelled together as companions for miles until a jet of

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1:09

George’s smart summon

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/09

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Long before Elon Musk released "Smart Summon" in his Tesla line of cars, George worked on a similar feature for his pirate ship. George fired a flare pistol in the air, which signaled his ship to drift to his location and pick him up. This made sense when he was standing on the docks. But when he was drunk at a bar a mile inland, well, that caused a whole lot of problems. Sailing up the street, knocking over market stalls and ruining the

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1:23

George and the Easter eggs

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/08

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. When he was a kid, his family would paint eggs for Easter and hide them around the yard. Then, the kids would hunt for the eggs. Even though he was all grown up now, George yearned for the innocence of youth. So he painted cannonballs and hid them all over the ship for the crew to find. "ENEMY VESSEL TO STARBOARD!" shouted the captain. "LOAD THE CANNON!" "Where are the cannonballs?" shouted the first mate. Nothing like a little excitement to

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12:50

Weekly Challenge #1005 – PICK TWO Display, Poem,...

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/27

RichardLizzie Tom Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Keep well RICHARD --- Festival--- It was one of the weirdest concepts I'd ever come across in my years in the music business. ‘Rockfall 25' - the world's first festival of background music. I can't say the lineup was impressive, I'd never heard of the headline acts, and the programme wasn't at all attractive. I couldn't see myself succumbing to the delights of the 'Elevator Music Tent'; and the idea

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1:20

George the Marauders fan

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/26

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He was a loyal baseball fan, though. No, he didn't follow the Pittsburgh Pirates. No self-respecting pirate would be caught dead in Pittsburgh. He followed the Bradeton Marauders, a minor league club. George went to every game, dressed up in his best pirate regalia, and he'd lead the cheers. Waving his cutlass in the air, shouting for all nine innings. The fans thought he was awesome. "You're the best pirate ever," the kids would say. And, with

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1:33

George was not a bad pirate

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/25

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. At least, that was what the captain said. Truth was, George was a pretty good pirate. The captain, on the other hand, was an awful pirate. But you know the Peter Principle. People rise in rank until they fully express their incompetence. And the captain was supremely incompetent. Terrified that someone would discover how incompetent he really was. So, he constantly put down the pirates on his ship. Pitting them against each other. All the while,

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1:26

George and the Germans

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/24

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate. Still, he did his best for his ship, joining raiding parties and fending off rival pirates. Until the captain sold to a German pirate consortium. Which outsourced the work to cheaper Russian pirates. George sat in port, stuck in endless planning meetings. “When will we go out again?” asked George. The owners told him to shut up and train. A lot of his old crew mates got bored and quit for better challenges. George trained their

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1:39

George was a bad student

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/23

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He got lousy grades in pirate school, his teachers held him up for ridicule, and his classmates bullied him. So, George swore he'd get his revenge. Back then, there weren't high-capacity guns to mow down a schoolyard full of kids, nor were there cars you could drive into them. Sure, he could have started a fire. But he wasn't good at it. And he was mocked for it. So, he became a pirate, and he caused "accidents" that got his nasty former

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1:46

George the party man

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/22

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. This wasn't in just skill, but also in discipline. "I'm leaving the ship for a few days," said the captain. "No parties while I'm gone, okay?" "Aye aye, captain," said George. George broke out the rum and arranged music, games, dancing, and fencing matches. Come dawn, the ship was everything but a wreck at the bottom of the bay when the captain came back. "Are you mad I made a mess, sir?" said George. "No," said the captain. "I'm mad you threw a

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1:45

George and the weather

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/21

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He never checked the weather reports, so he frequently sailed into thunderstorms, hurricanes, and tsunamis. Or he'd be sleeping at an inn, and a big wave would wash the building a mile inland. "I paid for an oceanside view," complained a sopping-wet George to an equally sopping-wet innkeeper. "Now it's a mile walk to the docks?" George wrung out his clothes and hiked the mile back to his ship. Well, where he thought he'd left his ship. He hiked

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10:26

Weekly Challenge #1004 – Snot

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/20

RichardTom Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is PICK TWO Display, Poem, Background music, 158, Rockfall RICHARD --- Loser --- I sighed inwardly when the lad walked in, another no-hoper, without prospects. "Well boy, I understand Miss Jones has thrown you out of art class again. What do you say for yourself?" "Sorry sir" the boy sniffed, then used his sleeve to wipe the snot from his nose, "I just don't like art... or sport." I rubbed my eyes wearily. "So,

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1:33

George answers the survey

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/19

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. But the captain... now they weren't good at all. Every year, the captain sent out an anonymous survey. The responses were dismal. "I feel like my contributions are valued." Negative. "I feel like I have opportunities for career growth." Negative. "I feel like my work has meaning." Extremely negative. The captain fumed, threatening to make everyone walk the plank. "Then who will hold the plank?" asked George. George was the first forced to walk

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1:20

George gives a shit

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/18

George was a pirate, but he was in a very good pirate. If you asked him about that, I’d say don’t give a shit. Even though people constantly gave him shit over it, he never gave them shit back. Some would say that he couldn’t give two shits what you thought. But it wasn’t that he would give two shits, because he never gave one. One shit, two shits, it didn’t matter. George didn’t give a shit about not being a very good pirate, and that’s all that mattered. To tell you the truth, I don’t give a shit

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1:10

George the artist

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/17

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Instead of taking hostages and ransoming them off, he usually ended up befriending his captives and traveling the world with them. One was a young man from the French Navy who didn't speak French very well. He was whittling small sculptures out of wood and soapstone. "These are pretty good," said George. "Mind making one of me?" So, he did, that's how George wound up with an early Paul Gaugin sculpture. It's in a museum now. Well, in their

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1:31

George the porch pirate

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/16

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He lost his crew, he lost his ship, and he even lost his hat. His reputation kept him from getting hired by other pirates for their ships. He was reduced to stealing packages off of people's porches. But George wasn't a very good porch pirate either. His first heist was a trap, and the glitterbomb exploded in his face. "Welcome, Glitterbeard!" shouted everyone at the pub, laughing. The next heist was a delivery from Ikea. Miraculously, it was a

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1:37

George keeps a secret

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/15

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. When pirates tell each other secrets, they get really fancy with their expressions. Like sinking something down in Davy Jones' Locker. Or the best way for three men to keep a secret is to kill two of them. George liked to say "Keep this under your hat." Which is where he kept his most important secret. Literally under his hat. So while he slept, his fellow pirates would take off his hat and read his secret. Which consisted of a little slip of

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1:14

George gets coronavirus

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/14

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. His adventures took him far and wide, and once he went to China. "This cave bat is delicious," he told the street vendor. "Can I have another?" That's how George caught the Coronavirus. He was feverish and coughing for days. Spreading the disease like wildfire. Authorities called for people to shelter in place, putting the world in a lockdown. "Plenty of opportunities to loot and pillage," wheezed the captain over the conference call. "Sure,"

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11:22

Weekly Challenge #1003 – Pawn

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/13

Richard Tom Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Snot RICHARD Grandpa When grandpa retired, he was a rich man. He'd started small as a young man, and over the years, he'd created a mini empire of pawn shops. And the money came rolling in. He was an expert at valuations - or more accurately, he was an expert at acting. He could convince an expert that a diamond was glass, and gold was brass. You'd never know it. Such was the calibre of his acting. And,

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1:37

George eats hot dogs

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/12

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He was a pretty good competitive eater, though. Every Fourth of July, he'd sail to Coney Island to compete in Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. He'd soak the bun in water, chow it down, and then eat the meat. Repeat a few dozen times. The problem was, George would build a huge lead quickly, often breaking the record, only to vomit everything up and get disqualified. He changed his strategy to vomit all over the other contestants, trying to

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