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PODCAST

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Studio71 & Confetti Cannon

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls sitting on chairs, holding microphones, and discussing their fabulous lives in Tinseltown. (featuring occasional forays into movies, television shows, and air-conditioning) The New York Times called them models, moguls, actors, influencers, drag queens, RuPaul"s Drag Race contestants, and even humanoids. If one thing can be said about these two preternaturally gorgeous queens" podcast, it"s that Trixie and Katya

comedy comedy interviews

All Episodes

63:04

Megan Stalter & the Hotness of Kindness with Trixie...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/11/19

Good morning, and welcome to the annual meeting of the National Association for Supporting The Yuck, (N.A.S.T.Y.), where certified uggos from all over Southern California come to the Burbank Holiday Inn Express to embrace our beady eyes, crooked teeth, bulbous noses, and horrible skin. If you got up this morning and thought to yourself, "I don't think I'm a very attractive person," you're 100% correct. But please, as a favor to me, do not dwell on the fact that you're aesthetically deficient

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57:56

Timothée Chalamet: An Alien Who Lives Amongst Us?...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/11/12

Have you ever stared up at the stars, considered the shocking vastness of space, and asked yourself, "Are we alone in the universe?" A recent analysis from the Bald Center for Ludicrosity Studies may have your answer. As the government releases more information about Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena, or UAPs, there seems to be a growing consensus amongst podcast co-hosts that there is an earthly explanation for the UAP/UFO sightings. Dr. Kenneth Zomoldhikova, of the vaunted West Hollywood Institute,

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55:45

Nicole Kidman Presents: The Bald and the Beautiful...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/11/05

We come to this podcast…for magic. We come to Bald to chortle, to weep, to soil ourselves, to hear about Demi Moore's commanding yet disgusting performance in The Substance. Because we need that, all of us, that indescribable feeling we get when the theme music begins to fade, Trixie and Katya's angelic voices materialize, and we are transported to an enchanting place we've never been before; like an inane story about exercising with butt plugs or a trip to Costco to buy forty-eight razors and 7lbs

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56:27

The Bitch is Back and She's Got Cake with Trixie and...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/10/29

After nine guests and eleven episodes' worth of meandering stories about historical colon blockages, mermaid genitalia, and cosmic boreworms, prepare your grey matter for even more meandering stories about dental care imposters, chastity device technology, and acceptable dildo quantities, but this time delivered by the one, the only: Trixie mother-effing Mattel. From all of us here at Bald, LLC, especially Cheryl from Accounts Receivable, we want to say welcome the f*ck back, Trixie.This episode is

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48:54

Joel Kim Booster's Atlantis Cruise Matinée Nightmare...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/10/22

It's the 4th day of your all-gay Atlantis Cruise. You just left the Bahamas and the bed of a sexy Nassau scuba instructor. You're tired. You're hungover. Your stomach is full of rum, waffles, and passionfruit-flavored lube. The hot Caribbean sun is baking your pale-ass to a crisp. Do you know what you need? You need to go directly to your cabin, drink a bottle of Pedialyte, and take a 4-hour nap. But do you listen to me? Of course not. What do you do instead? You attend Joel Kim Booster's

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54:15

Joel Kim Booster Loathes Katya's Movie...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/10/15

Since the debut of The Bald and the Beautiful in October of 2020, Katya Zamolodchikova has tickled your ears with full-throated recommendations of tens of hundreds of films; many of which are great, most of which are not. As we approach the zenith of the Halloween season, be prepared for Joel Kim Booster to be utterly at odds with Katya's positively shining endorsement of Terrifier 3, with Miss Zamolodchikova describing it as what would happen if Ingmar Bergman decapitated Stanley Kubrick while

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65:20

Jimbo Interprets Katya's Dreams with Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/10/08

What does it mean if several drug-addled hopheads break down the door of your beautiful three-story New York City townhouse, lick your face whilst whispering sweet nothings in your ear, steal your valuables, and they do it all in the service of their kingpin crime boss: singer, songwriter, actress, & legendary pop icon Madonna? All this and more will be discussed at length in this very special episode of Bald featuring Canada's greatest cultural export since poutine: Jimbo. This Fall, get your gut

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61:24

Sapphira Cristál's Chicken Carbonara For Two with...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/10/01

Step 1: Locate an impossibly gorgeous man in South Boston who's family owns an Italian restaurant. Follow him home and heat extra virgin olive oil in a heavy frying pan over medium heat. Add pancetta and garlic and saute until the pancetta is brown and crisp, and you're hard as a rock, about 8 minutes.Step 2: In a large bowl, whisk together the cream, cheese, yolks, basil, and penis to blend. When ready, proceed to insertion into said gorgeous man. Step 3: Bring a large pot of salted water to a

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61:55

Sapphira Cristál's Mermaid Erotica with Katya (Part 1)

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/09/24

MEN SEEKING MERMAID/MERMAN (Pacific Ocean Adjacent): Here for a naughty-cal time with sexy sirens of the sea. We are two fit & fabulous drag queens, one folically-challenged (Katya) and one with a glorious mane (Sapphira), seeking wet and wild night with sensual seafarers turned on by promiscuous pirates. Must have functioning fish genitalia and be DTF with land-dwelling homo sapiens. Tolerance for fish badussy strongly recommended. (ability to speak on land a plus) Please send juicy pics of your

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61:07

Raja Gemini: The Elusive Chanteuse with Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/09/17

This week, the Loch Ness Monster of drag herself, Raja, visits the studio to discuss love, yoga, and wistful nostalgia for physical media porn. Many questions are posed and even fewer are answered. Does Raja exist? Do you exist? Is free will available to humanity in our desperate search for some semblance of personal and/or societal development? Or is it all an illusion, a minute portion of the complex ruse through which we spend every waking moment of our lives? I ask you this one question: does

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67:07

Jinkx Monsoon & Silencing One's Mind with Bebe...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/09/10

It's 1am as you stare at the crack in the ceiling. The wind rustles through the oak tree outside as you hear Jim next door drag his garbage can down the driveway. Pam's staying at her sister's because of her divorce, the kids get up at 6, and Katherine demanded chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream and sprinkles. You have to catch the train at 7, and on top of that the big meeting is at 9am sharp and the Jenkins file isn't even done yet! How are you supposed to fall asleep when making your way

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74:06

Courtney Act's Fall Rhinestone Jackaroo Fashion Tips...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/09/03

This Fall, buck the hackneyed trends that ooze like a puss-filled pimple from the runways of Milan and Paris. Instead, embrace the effortless style that comes from the classic down-under fashion of the extraordinarily ebullient and embarrassingly eloquent Courtney Act. Whether you're channeling your inner Crocodile Dundee or the cowboy sleaze of John Wayne's 40 lbs of impacted colon feces, look no further for your comprehensive Fall Fashion Guide! From Miss Act's sparkly rhinestone Dr. Martens to

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60:24

Scarlet Envy's Mapquest to Fire Island with Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/08/27

It's almost Labor Day Weekend and I know what you're thinking to yourself: I need a sun-soaked, sand-covered gay resort town and I need it RIGHT NOW. Well, you're in luck. Scarlet Envy would like you to know that if you've never been to Fire Island, getting there is half the fun. What you're gonna want to do is take the Long Island Rail Road to Sayville, then a shuttle bus to a 30-minute ferry ride, and then you're going to have to walk that perky little ass because there are no cars on the island;

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67:45

Ts Madison and the Art of Bore Worm Seduction with Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/08/20

If you happen to find yourself in the unenviable position where your planet is being attacked by hot hail from a mustache-twirling space despot named Ming the Merciless, Ts Madison thinks it's best to grab a sexy travel agent with amazing bangs, a football star from the New York Jets, and ride a rocket cycle to the planet Mongo where you enlist the help of a friendly race of Hawkmen to destroy Ming, bed his hot daughter, and have an interstellar orgy with a slew of bore worms. As one does.Go to

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61:56

Kristen Schaal Is Lost in an Abandoned Warehouse With...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/08/13

Please join us in our deserted power station under the 110 overpass as we welcome legendary actress, comedian, author, and animation megastar: the inimitable Kristen Schaal! Ignore the lack of bathrooms and that low hum as we steal electricity from the rusty lamppost on the corner, and simply enjoy the effervescent conversation about creative head holes, public poo etiquette, historical colon blockages, and harlot makeup trends. As a favor to us, please don't walk to your car alone after the

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55:52

Boofing a Sangria in Anaheim with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/08/06

It's August! As the oppressive humidity sets in and the mosquito bites multiply exponentially, why not shove little Billy and Jessica in the backseat of the 'ol family station wagon and head to Orange County to experience the magical enchantment of the happiest place on Earth! Pay gobs of your hard-earned cash for for the privilege of dodging strollers and participating in the crass commercialism of late-stage capitalism, all to the calming soundtrack of babies crying and children screaming! And if

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55:14

How to Successfully Converse with Gen Alpha with...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/07/30

Do you goon on BookTok? Are you rizzing after peeping a gyatt at Taco Junk while reading Colleen Hoover? Do you spend your Saturdays being chalant while flicker gooning and running duos with the GOAT? If you didn't reply to those questions with, "I'm doing W, honestly. On skib," then you are in desperate need of "Trixie and Katya's Guide to Hawk-Tuah'ing One's Drake." For just $99 plus shipping and handling, you will never feel L again, and finally be the glizzy-glazing Sigma you always knew

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65:08

Bob the Drag Queen's Comprehensive Guide to Chicken...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/07/23

As we approach the peak summertime Bob-B-Que months (zing), we'd like to share Bob the Drag Queen's 8 tips for a successful chicken wing soiree, which will ensure that your fowl party is anything but foul:1) Send your dinner party invitations by Pony Express or personal messenger at least 10 days in advance. Include a cooked goose or snuff box for extra enticement. 2) Select an appropriate color scheme and harmonize everything on the table within that palette. If an invited guest passes from

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51:23

Sasha Colby Eats a Steak Diane Nude on the Amalfi...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/07/16

Feeling down? Need an escape from the grind? Just committed a crime and need to lay low? Captain Sasha Colby and the crew on The Bald & the Beautiful's new cruise ship, "Gettin' Nauti", will whisk you away to melt into the pastel-hued villages that dot the rocky shoreline of Italy's picturesque Amalfi Coast! Like a painter’s palette providing a resplendent contrast to the undulating sea of cobalt blue and the verdant mountains that rise up amongst the mist, join us for a clothing-optional frolic

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61:36

A Sonic Boom Personified with Drew Afualo and Trixie

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2024/07/09

In the grand pantheon of lusciously loud cackles, there exists two gorgeous human specimens for whom the rules of physics do not even remotely apply. These two auditory angels, known colloquially as Drew Afualo and Trixie Mattel, fly right up to the sonic barrier, spit in its face, and emit laughs at such an octave that only the gods atop Mount Olympus can hear without permanent hearing loss. So close your windows, crank your speakers up to 11, and prepare yourselves for a blisteringly beautiful

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