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PODCAST

Dear Dr. Tracy

Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, relatable conversations. Hosted by clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, this podcast is your place for honest, no-nonsense guidance on love, intimacy, boundaries, and communication. With over 18 years of experience, Dr. Tracy brings a mix of clinical expertise, evidence-based research, and personal insights as a

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

53:58

Parenthood, Perfectionism, and Finding Peace after...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/07/11

Trigger warning: Traumatic birth experience In today’s session, Dr. Tracy sits down with Dr. Mona Amin, a board-certified general pediatrician, online parenting educator, wife and mother. She shares her mission to provide relatable content for parents, aiming to instill confidence and calm in their parenting journey. In this episode, Dr. Mona candidly opens up about her traumatic birth story, the subsequent health challenges her family faced, how it affected her marriage, the importance of

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7:41

Mini Session #9: Let's Talk About Feelings with Dr....

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/07/07

In this mini session, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Becky discuss the impact of growing up with parents who, despite their best efforts, did not validate certain emotions. This creates an intergenerational legacy where unvalidated feelings become triggers today. They highlight the importance of changing the script for our children's future and our own mental health. By showing kindness, compassion, and curiosity to ourselves, we can model these behaviours for our kids. They challenge the outdated belief that

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47:24

What to Do When They Never Plan Date Nights

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/07/04

Tired of always being the initiator in your relationship? This week, Dr. Tracy addresses the common issue of "my husband doesn’t plan date nights," a struggle many listeners have shared. She discusses the prevalent belief in heterosexual relationships that men should instinctively know and plan for their partner's needs, emphasizing that healthy relationships require intentional effort and open communication. Dr. Tracy highlights the importance of recognizing different seasons in partnerships,

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5:18

Mini Session #8: Addressing Mom Burnout &...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/06/30

In this week’s mini session, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Jen Douglas, a clinical assistant professor at Stanford University, licensed psychologist, and mental wellness speaker, tackle mom burnout and perfectionism, highlighting the pressures modern mothers face. They discuss how today’s moms spend twice as much time on parenting compared to 1965, coupled with the demands of being constantly available to employers. This has led to unrealistic expectations of being a hands-on, super-present mom. They emphasize

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59:40

The Dos and Don’ts of Postpartum Visits with Renee Reina

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/06/27

The dynamic duo is back together! This week, Dr. Tracy welcomes back her fellow Canadian sister, Renee Reina, host of the top-ranking podcast The Mom Room, for an open and honest discussion about handling visitors after giving birth. Renee shares her personal experience and how her perspective on postpartum visits shifted after having her son, Milo. They distinguish between true support people and visitors, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing the mother's comfort and

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7:07

Mini Session #7: Prioritizing Intimacy

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/06/23

Today's mini session is all about scheduling sex and prioritizing intimacy. Don't leave sex until the end of the night when you're exhausted. Dr. Tracy encourages listeners to be intentional about scheduling it and making it a priority. Remember, intimacy isn't just about intercourse; it's also about emotional connection and shared activities. She offers suggestions and encourages new approaches like naptime sex and taking off the pressure by just being close. If sex feels like a chore, talk openly

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62:52

Managing Sensory Overload with Dr. Brooke Weinstein

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/06/20

This week, Dr. Tracy has the great honour of speaking with Dr. Brooke Weinstein, a renowned expert in sensory and emotional regulation, about the critical importance of understanding and managing our nervous systems. Dr. Brooke, known for her engaging and digestible social media content, explains the concept of sensory overload and how our fast-paced digital world contributes to widespread mental health issues. They discuss the differences between tantrums and meltdowns, the necessity of regular

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7:41

Mini Session 6: Unpacking Codependency and Trauma...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/06/16

In this mini session, Dr. Tracy chats with Anna Aslanian about codependency and understanding how people end up in codependent relationships. They redefine codependency, moving away from the old assumption that it always involves addiction, and instead highlighting it as a response to trauma and a way of seeking safety in relationships. They emphasize that dependency is not inherently negative, as humans are relational beings who need connection. Dr. Tracy and Anna also explore the nuanced

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40:43

Understanding Avoidant Partners with Greg Stewart

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/06/13

In this highly relatable episode, Dr. Tracy teams up with her favourite co-host, her husband Greg, to dive into the tricky terrain of avoidant attachment styles in relationships. Sharing their personal stories, they unpack how our past experiences shape behaviours today. Dr. Tracy breaks down attachment theory, reminding us that dependency isn't weakness—it's human. They explore why updating relationship "scripts" is crucial and how regular check-ins can prevent resentment. Greg opens up about his

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7:59

Mini Session 5: Turning Invisible Work into Visible...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/06/09

In this mini session, Dr. Tracy chats with Eve Rodsky about turning "invisible work" into "visible work." Invisible work includes the behind-the-scenes tasks mothers and women often handle without recognition. Eve shares how she created the "Shit I Do" spreadsheet, listing all these tasks and gathering input from women in various communities. This effort made the extensive contributions of mothers more visible. Eve discusses the importance of women taking agency in their lives and introduces the

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46:43

Breaking Relationship Patterns with Amy Chan

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/06/06

Have you ever wondered why you constantly end up in the same type of relationship? Or maybe you're contemplating whether or not you can continue on with your current partner. These are all common questions we've all asked ourselves at some point in our lives and will be addressing in today's conversation.In this episode, Dr. Tracy welcomes Amy Chan, founder of Breakup Bootcamp and author of "The Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart," to discuss why we stay in bad relationships and

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6:31

Mini Session 4: Debunking the Myth of "Happy Wife,...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/06/02

In this mini session, Dr. Tracy and her husband Greg debunk the myth of "Happy Wife, Happy Life." They argue that true happiness in a relationship should not come at the expense of one's own well-being. They emphasize the importance of having difficult conversations and maintaining a genuine friendship within the relationship. They also touch on the necessity of self-awareness and curiosity in resolving conflicts and highlight that we can only control our responses, not our partner's actions

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48:21

Putting Your Relationship First with Dr. Stan Tatkin

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/05/30

In a world where we're encouraged to prioritize individualism, and set boundaries, the importance of our relationships can often get lost. In this week's episode, Dr. Tracy chats with Dr. Stan Tatkin, a renowned clinician, researcher, and author of the bestselling book "Wired for Love." They explore the concept of interdependence in relationships, using the three-legged race analogy to highlight the importance of teamwork. Dr. Tatkin emphasizes understanding our own and our partner's brains to

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7:10

Mini Session 3: Attachment Styles and Conflict...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/05/26

In this week's mini session, Dr. Tracy is joined by Dr. Morgan Anderson to discuss the challenges of relationship repair through the lens of attachment styles. They explore how individuals with anxious attachment struggle with distance, often engaging in anxious pursuit and abandoning their own needs to regain a sense of safety. These individuals must learn to self-soothe, such as by taking a walk or doing a task, and become comfortable with discomfort. Whereas those with avoidant attachment

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43:15

How to Overcome Perfectionism

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/05/23

In this week's solo episode, Dr. Tracy tackles a topic that affects many of us but is also something that is very near and dear to her heart, and that is perfectionism. She explains how perfectionism is more than a desire to do well, often becoming a relentless pursuit of flawlessness that can harm our mental health and relationships. Dr. Tracy explores the internal and external roots of perfectionism and introduces the concept of urge surfing, a technique used to manage the impulse to be perfect

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8:28

Mini Session 2: Differentiating a Narcissist and a...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/05/19

Are you dealing with a narcissist or someone with chronically defensive tendencies? In this session, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Jaime Zuckerman explore the key differences between a chronically defensive person (non-narcissist) and a full-blown narcissist. The session delves into the behavioral contrasts, highlighting that defensive partners lack malicious intent, whereas narcissists are often intentionally harmful. To wrap up, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Jaime offer insights on managing relationships with both

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51:09

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Navigating Marriage and...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/05/16

Did you know that 69% of divorces are initiated by women? In today’s episode, we’re going to gain insights on why this is the reality. Join Dr. Tracy and guest Kate Anthony, author and host of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, as she shares her expertise on the pivotal decision many women grapple with: "Should I stay or should I go?" Having personally navigated an emotionally abusive marriage, Kate understands better than anybody the importance of creating a safe, supportive environment for

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6:57

Mini Session 1: Navigating Defensiveness in...

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/05/12

In this session, Dr. Tracy and Matthew Frey discuss a crucial issue that affects many relationships: defensiveness. They explore how defensiveness not only creates barriers but also diminishes and invalidates your partner's feelings. Matthew shares a personal revelation from his own life, noting how his failure to validate his wife's experiences contributed significantly to the deterioration of their marriage. He highlights that understanding doesn't require agreement but rather a mindful

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47:24

Truth, Trauma and Transformation with Dr. Frank Anderson

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/05/09

In this incredibly important episode, Dr. Tracy welcomes Dr. Frank Anderson, a renowned trauma expert and author to discuss the profound impact of trauma on personal development and well-being, as well as insights from his latest book, "To Be Loved: A Memoir of Truth, Trauma and Transformation," exploring the journey towards healing and forgiveness. The two kick things off by highlighting the importance of therapists sharing their vulnerabilities and human-ness to bridge the gap between them and

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46:50

From Conflict to Connection with Greg Stewart

Dear Dr. Tracy ·

2024/05/02

This week, Dr. Tracy and her favourite co-host/hubby, Greg, are back and here to tackle one of the most common issues couples face in relationships: why bringing up one problem with a partner often leads to a flood of additional grievances. They discuss why this might happen, identify defense mechanisms and avoidance strategies, and emphasize the importance of understanding and communication in relationships. They introduce the metaphor of a "bridge" between partners and the importance of

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