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PODCAST

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life

We are Simon & Lorra. A married couple. Mum & Dad to three kids... One in his 20s, one at uni, one fast approaching her teens. We love each other to bits but we also realise that we want to kill each other a lot. One day that quote will probably be used against one of us in a court of law. Each episode, we"ll chat about our marriage, love life, kids, London, relationships, anything relevant in the news and we"ll recommend anything we"ve seen, played, read or listened to. Contact us on

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

31:21

#HAWSTL 162: Last day in Dubai & a giraffe on the plane!

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/07/30

Hello! This is an unedited episode (as you'll hear when someone knocks on the hotel room door) and it is our last day in Dubai (ever/for now... Who knows?). Today we talk about...• Taking our cat, Awimbaway, to the airport.• Banging our heads against the UAE banking brick wall.• Closing our phone accounts.• The last drive in Dubai.• One last night out & some very sad goodbyes.• Simon's 0.0% hangover.• Glitter faces & a chance at romance.As we mention on the end of the podcast, the next

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27:21

#HAWSTL 161 - How Dubai are you? And how to walk a cat

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/07/28

Hello! This was supposed to be a quick record to add to a diary-type entry before we leave Dubai on Sunday night. However, like all podcasters, we can waffle-on about anything, so it's an episode now. We talk about:• Over-eating straight after complaining about over-eating.• Paying to have our luggage checked-in from the hotel.• Simon's "Live in Dubai once but leave before..." social media post.• Morning freak-outs.If you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.com Or

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33:17

#HAWSTL 160 - 4 days left, triggers, Oppenheimer, Vera

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/07/26

Hello! With only 4 days left in the UAE before we leave forever and head back to the UK, here's a catch-up on this little lot...• Anger triggers.• Being able to have an opinion again.• Social media doom-mongers.• Ticking-off the leaving admin.• Responses to our lack of plans.• A non-committal bank teller.• Bank horror stories.• Invisible moving surcharges.• The Verma/Vera incident.• The stinky Burj.• An accidental vegan blag.• Eating way too much.• Early doors Oppenheimer.• Suitcase hassles.• The UK

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26:13

#HAWSTL 159 - The opposite of 'unwind'

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/07/19

Hello! Here we go again with more of our 'leaving Dubai' fun and games! Today we're talking about...• The tension returning.• Half Christmas.• The curlers debacle.• Absent meal-section disappointment.• The first post-haircut wash.• Hotel breakfasts.• The breakfast door w****r.• Our un-Dubai laundry system.• 'Send My Bag' & the repack. •Car hire nightmare.• Chronic misophonia.• Booking the flights.If you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.com Or get us on our

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1:00:15

#HAWSTL 158 - Unemployed, homeless, stressed

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/07/15

Hello! As you'll hear at the start of this episode of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life', there have been several failed podcast recordings and attempts over the last week and it's been driving us crazy! So this is an omnibus edition. A bumper, hour-long catch-up.First of all, we're living in the Voco Bonnington Hotel in Dubai until we leave and it is incredible. The rooms, the staff, the facilities, the food... All top class! Can't recommend it highly enough. If we do ever come back, this is

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24:56

#HAWSTL 157 - Live from the 'Leaving Dubai' trenches

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/07/05

Hello! Quick summary because we've got a school run to do! Things are getting very stressful as we get very close to finishing jobs & school... And the movers are only days away from coming to empty the villa. The house is upside down, we've had graduations, awards, shows, birthday parties... There have been mall visits with unexpected occurrences, a Sephora incident, a lot of emotions (and a surprising lack of emotions in some places) and it's all getting a bit much.As ever, it is always lovely

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22:39

#HAWSTL 156 - The Leaving List & Completing Cats

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/06/18

Hello you! And hello all the new yous, who've just discovered our little indie podcast. Thanks for getting on board. Tell you friends!It's been two weeks to the day that we recorded our podcast announcing or departure from Dubai. Today we laid in bed (the podcast studio has been packed) and talked about...• Stress-induced cold sores.• Being the No.1 podcast in the UAE (Sorry, Michelle Obama).• Surprisingly positive feedback.• The unbearable weight of packing.• The T.O.R inventory & Brit

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26:46

#HAWSTL 155 - Announcement: We're leaving Dubai

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/06/05

Hello you! So, this is a biggie. We're leaving Dubai. We explain pretty much everything in this episode of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life', which was recording on the stoop at the foot of our garden, overlooking the lake, because our podcast studio has all been packed away. Don't worry. The podcast will continue and should actually be quite exciting, as we chart the trials and tribulations of leaving expat life and repatriating into the UK. This is going to be a very strange, difficult,

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17:48

#HAWSTL 154 - Father's Day Prostate Stimulator

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/05/27

Hello! We sound a little different on today's episode of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' because we recorded in the mall (Ibn Battuta) in-between drop-offs & pick-ups. However, fun chat and lots to talk about, including:• The French aesthetic.• Goop's Father's Day recommendations.• A Rolex missed opportunity.• Daddy's prostate simulator.• German men in the toilet.• Standing or sitting.• The world's favourite sandwiches.If you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here:

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22:48

#HAWSTL 153 - Sexy Television

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/05/22

Hello! We recording ep153 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' straight after hosting a Sunday family quiz. We chat about that. We also talk about how we've been arguing for a week solid, to the point where we had a fight about opening the wrong packet of crisps! Lorra defends herself against a comment she made about Simon's hair. This opens a BIG can of worms. Then we move onto the main subject of today's episode... Sexy television.This came about because over the last fifteen years, it seems

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18:02

#HAWSTL 152 - Losing an Erection

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/05/20

Hello you! On episode 152 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life, we cover a lot of groud...• Is Dubai life actually busier than UK life?• Eventful school runs.• Lorra's filthy Pajero (not a euphemism).• The disappearing Space Shuttle.• School lunches.• Pronouncing Chambourcy.• A wrong car & wrong villa incident.• Honey's first solo drive.We also talked about an incredible YouTube video that has made us laugh for years... Here it is...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXceIEb1S00If you'd like to

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26:41

#HAWSTL 151 - A Hellish Week

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/05/15

Hello! We're back with a jam-packed 26mins, featuring, amongst other waffle...• Dubai heat.• Fat faces.• Why the last pod didn't happen.• Study Leave.• A mad week.• Teacher respect.• Quiz Grumpiness.• A leaver's parade.• Proms.• Cinema shenanigans.• Actor disrespect.If you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.com Or get us on our socials here:Simon on Insta:https://www.instagram.com/catboy92/Lorra on Insta:https://www.instagram.com/lorranotlauraSimon on

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21:37

#HAWSTL 150 - Annoying Punchy Drunk Woman

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/04/30

Hello! Been a bit of a gap because we've been crazy busy but we're back with a rambling, swaying, random delve into the minds of two very exhausted people. We cover a long, working weekend, a really rude drunk woman, cheap sweaty orange cheese, kettle admissions and Lorra's hairy shower slippers.If you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.com Or get us on our socials here:Simon on Insta:https://www.instagram.com/catboy92/Lorra on

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25:57

#HAWSTL 149 - The absolute joy of online selling

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/04/19

Here we go. Episode 149 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' and we squeeze a lot into this one. We start with Simon's hospital results. We ask is Lorra okay? A lot of people seem to be worried! We talk about renting in Dubai. Honey's had another driving test. Simon's "disability" has lead to him being unable to drive and HE LOVES IT! We have Covid nostalgia. Then we get onto the meat (veggie meat?) of today's episode... Clearing the house out, the emotions that come with that, all the stuff

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29:29

#HAWSTL 148 - Easter Trilogy pt3 - Hospitals,...

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/04/15

Hello! We made it to part 3 of our Easter Trilogy, catching you up on all the dramas of the last three weeks. Today we're talking about all the medical issues that have lead to two surgeries in a week, a catheter, a drain (that looked like a blood-filled Easter Egg - topical), a beaut of a tumour & a scar that will be lied about to the grandkids. This episode is a quite gross in parts but we're laying it all out there. Hope you're not eating. Thanks for all the lovely messages of support. We'll

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21:31

#HAWSTL 147 - Easter Trilogy pt2 - Norwich & London

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/04/13

Hello! Here's part 2 of the Easter Trilogy, talking about ping-ponging from London to Norwich and back. What we saw, what we did, what we loved, what we hated, what we ate... A bit of everything, really. Another celeb-spot. The weather. Buses. Hats. Overpriced attractions. Episode 3 of the trilogy, dealing with the oft-mentioned illnesses, tumours, lumps, operations, etc. will be posted inn a day or two.If you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.com Or get us on

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22:54

#HAWSTL 146 - Easter Trilogy pt1 - Moths & Musicals

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/04/11

Hello! Guess who's back... Well, don't guess. If you're reading this, it's obvious.We've recorded 3 podcasts today. This episode concentrates on firstly being deluged by Silence of the Lambs moths this week. We then move on to talking about musicals. You'll have no doubt heard the news about inebriated patrons being forcefully ejected from a Manchester theatre for singing along to The Bodyguard's "I Will Always Love You". We share our views on that and on the musicals we saw during out time in

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28:00

#HAWSTL 145 - London, celeb encounters, awful wind

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/03/22

Check one-two! We are coming to you live from London. Marylebone High Street, to be precise. We're recording roadside, outside a Pret... because that's all anyone in London ever seems to talk about... Bloody Pret! This street has special significance to us, as it's where we spent time when our son was having his big surgery on Harley Street. Quite emotional being back.We talk about the trip here. Simon discusses a rather unsavoury example of Baader Meinhof Complex he's been experiencing. We talk

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15:49

#HAWSTL 144 - An unusual bedroom recording

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/03/20

An unusual sounding podcast for ep144 of ‘Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life’. To start with, we recorded this one laid in bed on Mothers Day night, as we prepare to fly to London first thing Monday morning.We talk about Simon’s latest visit to the hospital, which diverts into a chat about locks on toilet doors, before a brief description of Simon’s medical woes. Then [trigger warning] there’s a distressing poo story.We chat about packing and jobs we hate. We reminisce about celebs we saw last

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22:33

#HAWSTL 143 - There's a lot of rude people about

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2023/03/17

Hello! Thanks for listening! Today we start with Simon's magical podcast cardigan, some grey hair drama, eyebrow abuse and then we move onto our subject of the day... Rude people. It's quite triggering, to b honest.If you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.com Or get us on our socials here:Simon on Insta:https://www.instagram.com/catboy92/Lorra on Insta:https://www.instagram.com/lorranotlauraSimon on Twitter:https://twitter.com/catboy92Lorra on

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